PART X. "You Can (Not) Redo."

"But if he escapes, he cannot rebuild, and if he rebuilds, he cannot escape."

- Franz Kafka.

Aiko.

They said it wasn't wise to draw with mechanical pencils, but as luck would have it, the one time I didn't want a mechanical pencil—something I couldn't keep for the life of me—it would be all I had. It was all I had in the bottom of my purse, and I'd snagged it before handing the plum leather off to Hirogawa as collateral.

Speaking of the wanker, he was late.

I glanced from the back of the receipt I'd found on the ground to my rose-gold wristwatch, noting the time. Fifteen minutes late. If this was one year ago, and I wasn't dealing with Sasakawa, I would have taken the money and just fucking left.

When I'd asked if Hirogawa had any product he wanted to push, I was expecting about an eighth of pot. I didn't expect it to be a fairly large scale of pills, but I agreed regardless because they cost more to move.

I returned to doodling on the back of the receipt, balancing it on my knee and sketching lightly so to not tear through it. As I finished the lining, I took a look at the drawing, and felt a sudden wave of emptiness flourish in my chest. I missed Yusuke.

I drew him, pointing out his finger through the page, ready to fire one at me and save me from the grave I'd dug myself. I didn't know if he'd be as understanding as Kurama, considering he had this big heart of gold. But, still, he'd… help me through it.

Or, at least, his company would be enough to distract me—even if only for a moment—from my guilt and anxiety. I just missed my friend.

As I began the shading of Yusuke's slick back, my cardigan pocket began chiming. I looked around the alley I was waiting in—the one behind the big-name drugstore—checking to see if Hirogawa would show.

Of course not.

I flipped open the compact to see the pink color flashing and pressed the little button. Botan appeared on screen.

"Hi!" she chirped. "Sorry for calling back so late, I had to ferry a few people over."

Her hair blew around her head, some of it circling over her crown like a halo.

"No problem," I replied, noting behind her the lilac sky and yellow desert below. She must still be in Reikai. "Suzume told me you may know someone who's good with technology."

I wasn't keen on going to the basement again. If I was stepping foot in there, it was likely to hurt someone. I didn't want to go down there if I could help it.

So I couldn't pull physical files from there. If I wanted files, I had to go through Reikai's network. Since Koenma was such a piss baby and didn't want to log in to the network, I would find someone who could.

I'd asked Suzume if she knew anything, and she had said Botan had a friend.

"I was never technologically versed," Suzume replied as she stirred what I could only assume was a cup of tea. The compact's field of vision was small and precise, which left me wondering in curiosity what people on the other end were doing sometimes. "Even when I was alive, I spent more time understanding spirituality than the upcoming technology of the realm."

I sighed. "Okay, thanks."

"But I do know of someone who works with technology," she said, and I perked up. "I do not know them well, but Botan is very social. She may know them better than I do, so I feel you should speak to her about it."

"Oh, that's good!"

"But…"

"…But?"

"If I remember correctly, the person's position is… well, not the best for us."

"Alright!" I smiled. "At least I have an option right now! Thanks, Suzume."

I'd at least vet them through Botan, who would tell me whether this person was trustworthy.

"Hm?" She frowned and looked away in thought.

"A mutual friend?" I tried. "She said their position isn't exactly the best for us."

"Oh!" She smiled, like a light bulb lit above her head.

"I was hoping you could tell me what their position was."

"Ryuunosuke works under the Natsume family."

"I hate my life."

"What?"

Fuck, I said that out loud. "Nothing, never mind," I sighed. "Thanks, Botan."

"Wait!" She caught me just before I closed the compact. "I may not be know them personally, but I've been around Reikai long enough to know Ryuu is nice! I think they'll want to help."

"Well, Ryuu works under Natsume," I said. "So if he wants to help, he'll help Natsume."

"No! They have a good heart, Aiko, honest," she pressed. "I think if we ask, they'll help!"

"Just ask if he knows how to get into Reikai's network or something," I dismissed.

"That'd be… a bit suspicious…" Botan giggled nervously.

Of course. I suppressed an eye roll. "Because…?"

"They helped make Reikai's network," she replied, wincing at my strained groan-turned-whine. "But if I ask, then I'm sure—"

"No, you're not asking someone who works under Natsume to help."

"Aiko, let me… let me do some digging on Ryuu," she said. "I may be able to find something out about them to incite them to help us."

"Like blackmail?" I laughed. "I never would have expected you to do that! I love it." My laughter died quickly. "Except, still… no. I don't want to risk it, Botan."

"Aiko, trust me," she pressed again, brows furrowing in determination. "If I can't figure anything out about Ryuu, I won't even bother with them."

"Fine. Give it a try." I shrugged, resting my head in my hand. "Just tell me what you find out before you use it on them, okay?"

"Roger that!" She smiled and saluted before flickering off the screen.

I needed to trust Botan; she wasn't stupid. But I couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't right. Suzume trusted them enough to mention them; Botan trusted this person enough to dig deep and vet them.

Still, I didn't want all I'd done to flush down the shitter because I made the wrong choice.

"Oi!"

I looked over my shoulder, down to the alleyway's entrance, and found Hirogawa waving to me as he headed my way. He made sure to bring the backpack that contained my purse. Because god forbid a man be seen holding a purse with no woman in sight.

I wanted to choke him. He had me waiting for a half hour.

"You forget how to tell time?" I called to him, and he checked his watch.

Comically, he stumbled in surprise. "When did it…?! I swear the clock said it was five when I left…"

"Yeah, well it's coming on five forty-five," I replied. "You take a shit on your way here?"

"No, then I'd be a little later…" he mumbled, stopping next to me to cup his chin in thought. "I swear the clock said it was five when I left… and it doesn't take that long to get here…"

"Who cares," I whined, adjusting myself on the ground. My bottom was beginning to hurt from having sat on the concrete for so long. "Please divide this money so I can go home."

He pulled off his backpack and sat next to me with a small oof, before reaching out his hand. He gestured to the money and I pulled the brown paper bag out from behind me. It was fairly heavy to be holding just cash, so there had to be a nice amount.

I didn't know what colored pills were going for on the street now, so I didn't know how to gauge what I was moving.

"The deal with Sasakawa go smooth?" he asked, pulling out a thick wad of wrapped bills. He flipped through them relatively slowly to count. "I heard he brought his brother."

"Yeah. The creep sat in the back of the car. He only opened his mouth to play the script of 'oh my god, I haven't seen you in years!' before I got in the passenger seat."

His brother was a dead-ringer for Sasakawa: same scary mug, same thick neck, same square jawline. It was my first time as a middle-man, and my first time moving product other than homegrown pot, so I guessed his brother wanted to be there in case I screwed up somehow.

His way of handling whatever problem I caused? Probably a bullet to the temple.

Hirogawa began counting the next thick wad, and we sat in silence. I didn't want to interrupt his counting because god knew he was dumb enough to have to start all over.

But, when he started his third stack, I couldn't help asking: "When did you move up in product?"

"About three months ago," he replied. "Sasakawa's brother mentioned he met a few people who taught him how to make those pills. Since we don't have to worry about territory, we shouldn't get in trouble with any other dealers."

Hirogawa—or at least, someone he knew—made the product and Sasakawa distributed it. Since the two had minor narcotics charges, they didn't want to be seen moving so much product together. Then came me. The person who'd done other minor, illegal things with them before. Such as running the illegal fight club on abandoned, but thus likely government, property.

"Twenty percent," he said suddenly, handing me a nice stack of bills. "Good job for your first big move. Didn't think I'd ever see you ask to do more than sell plants."

"You had the job and I needed the money," I replied, counting through the bills. The rough microfibers rubbing against my thumb and index finger was soothing to me, both psychologically and physically. "It's not like I have a paying job."

"Yeah, I was wondering whether you quit," he said. "Masao finally get to you?"

"No, I just don't have the time," I replied, satisfied with the amount. It would last me a while and let me pay a bill or two every month. I looked to Hirogawa as he began shoving the money back in the paper bag to put in his backpack. "This was done on my terms. You remember that, right?"

"Yeah, it's cool. I don't care." He put his hands up to placate me before standing up. "I have other contacts I can use to move stuff. It'd be a bit suspicious if it were you each time."

"Yeah," I said, hearing the scuffing of paper on concrete. I noticed he'd stepped on the doodle of Yusuke. "I'll hit you up next time I want to make some quick money."

"Yeah, you know where to find me." He began walking off, waving back at me. I waited for him to turn around before I grabbed the receipt.

Luckily, he only scuffed the print, and not the drawing on the back. I looked down at the goofy face I'd given Yusuke. I even satisfied his personal, constant request for battle scars. I rubbed the receipt, thumb brushing over his shoulder and smudging the lead.

I wondered if he ever hurt someone like I had. I wondered if he could understand me like Kurama had.

I set my free hand next to me to rest on the ground, feeling the empty space where something should have been.

And then, it clicked. I shot up, running out of the alley. "Hirogawa! You forgot my fucking purse, didn't you?!"

Shizuru.

"I'm just here to have him look at faces," she reassured me.

I stepped aside and let her come in. Before she took off her ankle boots, she rummaged through her purse to show me the photos. They were the same type of mug shots from before, this time of middle-aged men. Some were much older, having seen the Tenpo famine, and a small few were young enough to be fresh out of college. *

"He's in his room," I said, glancing to the photos before waving her off.

She disappeared up the stairs as I settled on the couch in the living room. I wanted to go upstairs and linger in the hallway, but I knew I'd only become irate. I had to trust that she'd do her best to keep Kazuma out of the loop, to make sure he didn't get involved.

I flipped through channels on the TV, skimming through countless upon countless mindless shows. I'd seen all the episodes of all the shows I enjoyed. Now I was just watching repeats. And, for some reason, every time I landed on a repeat, it was a repeat I'd seen the last time I'd watched it.

I settled on Kinpachi-sensei with a small huff and set the remote next to me.

I couldn't do anything to help him in the Dark Tournament; I couldn't prevent Sensui from kidnapping him. But if I played my cards right, I could help him now. I just had to keep still on this couch and wait for Aiko to finish her time with him. If I went up to eavesdrop and he caught me, he'd know something was up—more than we were letting on. I restrained myself and watched TV as the sun set.

A little past eight, I heard Aiko bidding Kazuma goodbye upstairs. I stood from the couch and slowly made my way to the staircase.

I saw her as she was walking down the steps, and there was a certain lack of expression on her face that wasn't normal. She used to always have this sort of bland look, like she was bored and tired of just rolling through life. Now it seemed she had nothing to offer the people who passed her a glance, not even a feigned look of apathy.

"Hey," I said, and she perked up.

Her eyes widened slightly and then drifted around to find me. Once they landed on me, she put on a smile. "Hey!"

"How'd the line-up go?"

She reached the last step. "He didn't recognize anyone. I'm not surprised, but I still had to give it a shot, you know?"

"Yeah." I shrugged, and stared down at her.

If I was going to help her and keep Kazuma out of this, I had to know what was wrong. I couldn't have Kazuma find out before me and let that clue him in on something.

And it wasn't just that, to be honest. Aiko was a nice girl once one waded through the antics she pulled with those she didn't like. I came to like her company, and we understood each other in ways few others would be able to when it came to family.

"Something on your mind?" I asked.

Her brows rose in surprise slightly, and she bit her lip before looking over her shoulder. "Well, I don't…" She lowered her voice. "It's nothing you need to concern yourself with."

"If it's about Kazuma, it is."

"It's not, I promise." She gave a doleful smile as she headed for the front door. I moved quickly, placing a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"You know if you need someone to talk to, I'm here."

She looked over her shoulder to me. "I wouldn't want to burden you with this. It's fine."

"I already offered to help you," I whispered. "Telling me what happens isn't going to burden me."

She stared up at me, contemplating, with her bottom lip trembling slightly.

And so we found ourselves on the front porch. The cool cement seeped through my slack's fabric as I settled myself next to her. She spread her legs out into the walkway and held some of the mug shots of the men in front of her. She rested her hands on her thighs, and I waited for her to talk.

"So, they're border patrol," she started. I nodded. "And Natsume's mom owns this car dealership up in Tohoku. It also doubles as like a… an operations headquarters."

"What kind of operations?"

"Natsume called it a War Crime Interrogation Camp," she mumbled. "Koenma says it could be legal, that the idea was proposed a couple decades back."

"But they're not going about the interrogation in a good way, eh?"

"Nothing's ever good in war." Her voice quieted.

I raised an eyebrow. "Are we at war with them? Nobody mentioned any of that."

"Them plotting to enter this realm and to eat humans is enough to count as them waging war."

I looked up to the clear night sky in thought. "Sounds like a load of crap, if you ask me."

"It is," she agreed, fingering through the photos again. "It's all a load of crap."

"So, what's your next move?" I asked. "Finding out if it's legal?"

"Even if it is legal, I'm stopping it," she said through gritted teeth.

"Alright." I rested my elbow on my knee and my head in my hand. "How're you going to do that?"

She stared down at the photos with knitted brows. "…I don't know."

I looked out to the east, where the sky was a cold black. The city lights glowed in the distance, illuminating the stars. It gave the city a surreal illusion of a halo. I wondered how different life would have been had my family decided to live in the heart of the city instead of in its outskirts.

Maybe Mom would still be around. Maybe Dad would've gotten a real job. Maybe Kazuma wouldn't have almost died so many times. That little thing about life—one little thing—would make such a big difference. I just wasn't sure how I could do that without royally screwing things up.

"Reikai's a whole other realm, Aiko," I said. "You need to have a plan if you're going to try and take one of its sectors down."

There was another pause, and her grip on the photos tightened, crinkling them. "I know. I've just… I'm new to this."

I scoffed, and tried to turn it into a laugh at the last moment.

They were just kids—all of them. Yusuke, Aiko, and my brother. My brother was a damn kid. The fact they were running around doing any of this to begin with should be infuriating. For some reason, though, it was just irksome. Probably because I knew I had no control over how life worked. Things happened. Events happened. People are dragged into things and others are left in the dust. I could only do so much to make sure things didn't wind up too bad in the end.

That's how I usually looked at life: expect the worst, hope for the best. And try, try, try, dammit, to make sure it came out as best it could.

But if there's nothing I could do to change the outcome, there was no sense in getting worked up over it. Watching Kazuma's many beatings and near-death experiences only reinforced that outlook. I couldn't step in the ring and fight his battles for him, but I could prevent him from every stepping into another ring if I had to.

"Well, big picture aside," I continued. "What are you thinking of doing next?"

"I need to go back and get files on the youkai they've captured," she replied. "But I really don't want to go back there if I can help it…"

"So what's your Plan B?"

She shifted slightly, grumbling something about her bottom hurting on the cement. "I'm considering asking one of Botan's and Suzume's friends to help. But I'm a bit worried about their position in Reikai."

"Barrier Control agent?"

"Well, not exactly. They're a Messenger."

"Who works for Barrier Control agents." I grinned.

"Wouldn't work out any other way, now would it?" She scowled.

"You trust them?"

"I don't know yet… Botan and Suzume seem to."

I leaned back, and rested my arms behind me. As my hands planted on the cement to support my weight, the crisp chill stiffened the joints in my fingers. "And this is your only other option?"

"Either go back down there myself or find a way to hack into the network."

"Well, you've survived this long and the plans haven't blown up in your face yet," I sighed. "So I think you'll make the right choice again."

She winced at my words, and I tried to figure which one triggered her scowl to deepen. With one deep sniff, to bring back the mucus that was threatening to crawl out of her nose, she smiled at me.

"So, how are you and Kurama?" I asked, and she paused to switch gears.

"He's the only thing going right for me, at the moment," she laughed.

I gave her a sly nudge. "Finally made it official?"

The light giggles turned to throaty laughs before dying out. "Ah... no? I'm a bit nervous about asking to make it official. I think we're fine where we're at... If he wants to, he can ask."

I sighed. "Unspoken relationships can get messy, Aiko. You're a teen, you know that."

She shrugged, smiling to herself more than me. "If he ends up loving someone who isn't me, then that's just how it works."

"You're a bit young to think like that."

"Whatever time I have with him is limited, you know?" She looked to me. "I don't want to waste it being unhappy or fighting."

I frowned. "Whose time is limited?"

She blinked, confused, before furrowing her brows. "Mine, of course. I'm human." Before I could open my mouth, she'd stood up from her seat and began patting her bottom to brush off the dirt. She gave me a wide smile. "Thanks, Shizuru. For listening and everything."

"...Yeah, no problem." I watched as she walked away, and when she was out of sight I sighed and looked up to the sky above my home.

Usually I could still see some stars; the city lights didn't overpower them too much here. But the stars didn't hold my attention.

I watched the curtains in the window of the second-story room rustle. A silhouette moved away from the pane quickly.

I frowned, feeling a pit of guilt and anxiety bubbling in my stomach. He was going to figure out something was up. I couldn't let him risk his life again.

I looked back to the street, the direction Aiko was walking in. I couldn't see her in the dark, but I knew she was there, walking slowly. I'd have to step my game up sooner than later—especially if I wanted to keep Kazuma out of this. I didn't know what use I'd be right now. But I had to offer myself up to show Kazuma he wouldn't be needed—not for this fight.

Aiko.

Wearing sunglasses indoors was a pet peeve of mine, but I felt I should for the occasion. I sat in the back of a local café, away from the bay window, waiting to meet Ryuunosuke. I scanned the café.

Elderly people littered the entrance and seats near the window. Tucked into most corners were young adults reading works varying from comics to textbooks. I sat with a cup of ice water and small bowl of fruit salad in front of me, watching the entrance.

The café was modern, but still held a sort of authentic atmosphere for the elderly. Paintings and framed calligraphy scattered the walls, and a small collection of bonzai trees and other plants lined the periphery of the building.

I stabbed the fork into a small, square cut of melon and shoved it in my mouth. I heard the bell at the entrance ring softly over the conversations. I glanced over my shoulder to see who entered. A woman.

I chewed and let a sigh escape from my nostrils. Ryuunosuke was late.

"Okay, but how did you get Ryuunosuke to agree to a meeting?" I hissed at the compact screen. "I don't know jack shit about this guy and they work for Natsume, of all people."

Botan, cheerful smile and all, laughed nervously. "Really, don't worry, Aiko! It'll come up in the conversation when you meet them!"

"Can you tell me what the conversation is, then?"

"No, I need you to act somewhat surprised!" she protested. "It's about someone you both know—"

"If you talked about Kurama to a fucking Border Patrol Officer, Botan, I swear to—"

"I'm not stupid, Aiko!" she huffed. "Honestly."

"Then who?" I asked, trying to smooth out my ruffled feathers and accept being dragged back into my lane. "Suzume?"

"Well, we all know her, yes. But it's not Suzume."

"Just tell me who!"

"Trust me!" Botan argued. "I made it look like I wasn't supposed to go to Ryuu about this. So when they bring it up, you need to look surprised at the very least."

I was so nervous. I didn't know this person! They barely knew the person! I couldn't risk everything blowing up now. Not after all I'd done. I couldn't let all I'd done go down the drain in vain.

"…Can we really trust this person, Botan?"

She nodded. "I did some digging, and found something about Ryuu." She gave me a wink. "When they come to you and talk about it, you'll know what to do."

Worst case scenario: Ryuunosuke outed me to their boss. At this very moment, they were finalizing their plan to take me to the nearest back alley and crack my skull in.

"Aiko?" An unfamiliar voice caught my attention.

I glanced up to find the woman who just entered the café standing in front of me. I could only assume the plan with Ryuunosuke went south. Time to think of a Plan B.

For now, act calm…

"Who's asking?" I replied, blindly stabbing my fork into another piece of fruit.

She was voluptuous, shapely, and stylish. Long, wavy black hair framed her face before gracing her middle back. Her black sunglasses matched her blazer, pencil skirt, and Louboutin heels.

She pulled off her glasses, revealing wide eyes with thick lashes, and winked. "Ryuunosuke."

…

What.

I looked around the cafe for anyone else out of the ordinary before letting my gaze land back on the woman in front of me. She sat across from me at the table and tucked her sunglasses in the cleavage of her open white blouse.

"You're… Botan's friend?" I asked, to which she nodded. "I expected a man—no offense! I just… the name is masculine and all."

"I am not a man," she replied.

I glanced to her fairly larger than average bosom and then back at her face. Of course she wasn't, but the name…

"I am not a woman either."

Uuuuuuuh… I nodded anyway. "Okay…"

We stared at each other for a few moments. I didn't understand…

"I am a soul in a body that is female," she said.

I nodded again slowly, and she sighed with a smile. She picked up that I was not getting it. Not really believing it.

"I was assigned male at birth in my last—and first—life," she said. "When Reikai hired me, this was the only available body. I soon learned that my body doesn't define me, nor does it define my gender. I do not have a gender. Granted, I never felt like I fit the idea of what a man was in my last body either. Even before..."

Ah… Oh. "So… is that why Botan refers to you as 'they' and 'them'?"

"Yes." She nodded. Then, as if she read my mind, she continued.

"S-sorry, I, uh... I was just confused is all," I flustered. "I never met someone—"

"Well, now you have." She smiled, and my face burned. "And now you know."

After a few seconds, I closed my slack jaw. I didn't know what I was expecting but this was not on the list of possibilities. I refrained from shaking my head to regather my thoughts. Instead, I regulated my breathing to help the color leave my face. Okay. They.

They. They. They. They. They. They.

"So, Botan said you had something to talk to me about?" I asked, after a deep breath.

"I do," they replied. "I noticed the change over time. The Natsume jurisdiction is the main district I interact with."

"I thought you worked for the Natsume family?"

Their red lips split into a pretty smile. "I work for a few districts. My only interaction with this district is Takehiko."

The name didn't register at first, but I remembered it vaguely. Takehiko… Takehiko... Wait—

"Fukui, Takehiko?" I asked, to which Ryuunouske nodded.

Fukui's dad.

"He's Kentaro's secretary," they explained. "I work through Takehiko, so I don't get to interact much with Kentaro or Kouhei."

Kentaro… Kouhei… Ah. Natsume's and Hayashi's dads, respectively. They must have been fairly close to use their names like that. Unless this was blatant disrespect. I couldn't tell.

"So… you don't know what their daughters do at the Natsume's dealerships?" I asked.

Their smile grew, intrigued. "I can't say I do. All I know is Hitomi doesn't like going with her friends anymore. Botan said you know why."

This was about Fukui? They knew Fukui?

"So, she... She told you this was about Fukui," I treaded lightly, but couldn't bother to hide the wide eyes and slack jaw from them.

They nodded. "I spend much of my job as a Messenger dealing with the district heads' secretaries. For the Natsume jurisdiction, that is Takehiko. Of course, over time, I grew fond of little Hitomi." They leaned on the table towards me, closing the gap. They spoke softly, whispering, with a coy smile. "And Botan says you know why she's become so unhappy."

I didn't find it strange that someone would care about Fukui, but it seemed so… easy. Would Ryuunosuke really throw away their loyalty to Reikai to help Fukui?

"I do, but I…" I didn't know what to say. This was a horrid idea. I should have never let Botan drag them into this. "I need to know just how much you care about Fukui."

There was a pause, and they just stared at me. A slow blink every few agonizingly long seconds. A waiter appeared to take Ryuunosuke's order, but the tension was thick enough to send him away with his tail tucked between his legs. He muttered a small "I'll be back, sorry" before disappearing.

I was going to wring Botan's neck and then hang myself.

"In my first life, I couldn't bear children," Ryuunosuke said suddenly. "After years of trying, my marriage fell apart. In-vitro fertilization didn't matter. I had a secondary endocrine disorder, meaning it affected my pituitary gland. Among affecting many other hormonal pathways, it couldn't continue the events to produce sperm. I couldn't produce many—if any—mature sperm."

They clasped their hands together, and continued, tongue in cheek.

"I was so hell-bent on having my own child that I refused to let my wife use a sperm donor. Of course, telling your spouse what they can and can't do is a one-way ticket to divorce." Thick, long lashes brushed their lenses as they looked down to the table. "I never got to treat Hitomi like my daughter; I never got to take her places or drop her off at school. But I got to watch her grow up, buy her birthday and holiday presents.

"I would spend my visits in her company if I wasn't doing business with her father. She's not my child, but she's the closest thing I'll have to a daughter." They looked up to me, bright burgundy eyes glinting fiercely. "So, if you know why she's changed so drastically, I would like to know."

I wanted to tell them, but this wouldn't be the first time someone pulled a sob story out of their ass. I knew the wounded puppy shit first hand.

They leaned toward me. "I have watched her grow up; I've known her since she was six years old. I've seen every personality growth and change, and this is the worst by far."

Perhaps they did care for her, but did they care enough…?

"So, she's like your daughter," I mumbled, working through my diction slowly, to keep up with my thoughts. "But, would you turn your back on everything you've helped build for her?"

Their brows furrowed and they leaned back in their seat. They looked at me, with some mixture of confusion and skepticism, as their arms crossed over their chest. I waited for their reply, and they stared past me in thought, doubt.

"You can't tell me what it is?" they mumbled.

I shook my head, feeling guilty manipulating them like this. But I couldn't risk everything I'd done. "Not unless I know you're willing to risk everything you have."

There was another long moment of silence before they mumbled. "It's about Barrier Regulations and Enforcement practices."

I didn't clarify, but they were smart enough to realize it was.

"Being a part of Barrier Regulations and Enforcement personnel is a big part of Hitomi's identity," they said before standing. They hiked their purse onto their shoulder and looked down to me. "If she's willing to part with it, then so am I."

I kept my gaze on the little fruit bowl in front of me, and I listened to their heels' echoes on the tiled-floor fade. With a shaky breath, I wondered if I made the right choice, giving away as much as I had. Would I be selfish enough to blow my cover and ruin the mission, just to get out of going down there once more?

I just couldn't bear the thought of doing it again.

I would lose my life if Ryuunosuke or Fukui decided to expose me; I would have to do my best to make sure Botan didn't get in trouble. It would be a messy end for me; it would prolong the corruption, so was it worth it?

I trusted Koenma to keep Botan and Suzume safe. He could protect them, relocate them; I'd be the sacrifice.

Uncertainty gripped my heart and squeezed. I didn't want to ruin everything, but I also didn't want hurt anyone again. Ryuunosuke would be a good addition to the operation, but with them came Fukui. And if I was paranoid about Ryuunosuke working for Natsume, my paranoia over Fukui's involvement was on a whole other level.

I didn't know if she would be able to part with something that made her who she was. Something that formed the majority of her identity. She lived for Reikai, for the company she surrounded herself in. She had nothing else, really. She wasn't able to have anything else.

Without it, I didn't think she'd know how to live.

She may have come crying to me, begging me to stop whatever it was, but that was because she couldn't do it herself. She couldn't turn against them. I could only hope with Ryuunosuke's company, she'd feel she could.

Suzume.

There was something about the present I wasn't fond of and that was the noise.

Of course, back in my day, it was bustling. Really, though, it was only with the carriages and horses of the rich or the samurai. The parties and shows were also loud. But when it came time to sleep and the day to day routine of a regular life, it was nothing like this.

Now, it was much louder. Cars, buses, rush hour traffic. Or, perhaps, maybe it stayed the same; I couldn't be so sure anything truly changed. I spent the past… almost two hundred years in Reikai after all. Ferrying souls became so routine that I never did pay attention to the ever-changing world after a while.

Today was a lucky day, despite the noise. I wasn't scheduled at the café. I could sleep in. I was lucky to get more than three hours of sleep after getting off work and then ferrying souls to Reikai. Today would be one of those lucky days.

A small chime interrupted my sleep, and I decided to ignore it at first. I rolled over in bed, eyes shut tight, until I realized what was beeping.

With soft groan, I reached for the nightstand. I opened my eyes to see the sunset-colored compact flashing a soft plum color. Behind the compact, in bright red, was the time.

Seven A.M.

I grabbed the compact and opened it, finding Aiko on the other end.

"Sorry to call you so early, Suzume," she said.

She looked like she slept a decent amount of hours with just enough time to do her makeup. She even, apparently, had enough spare time to visit her beau, who sat behind her on a twin-sized bed, reading.

"It's fine," I replied groggily before clearing my throat to wake the muscles.

"I'm calling to have you go to Koenma today," she continued. "To pick something up. Then I need you to… uh, take it to Fukui."

I sat up in bed quickly. "What is it I'm taking to her?"

"A compact." My eyes widened, and she grimaced.

"I know, I know," she said, shaking her head. "But I think this will work."

"Are you sure we can trust her?" I asked.

She hesitated and let out a heavy sigh. "I think so… I've been doing some thinking. I think she wants this to stop. Plus, if we can get her to help, we can get Ryuunosuke to help us get into the network."

I knew she was skeptical of Ryuunosuke, but because both Botan and I knew them, I think she was giving them the benefit of the doubt. I thought about it for a minute; Aiko knew the girls better than I did.

I watched over the girls' mannerisms and learned how they talked to each other. I understood what they really meant when they talked about business. But Aiko was up front and personal with them, she actually interacted with them for longer than an hour at a time. Held conversations that weren't small talk.

She knew them better than I did.

"If you feel this is the right decision, I'll follow through with it," I said.

She gave me a small smile, one filled with relief. "Thanks, Suzume. I trust you'll know what to tell her when you give it to her."

"Understood." I nodded.

And she flickered off-screen. Not even a second later, the compact's screen began flashing a bright pink. Botan.

I pressed the button and her cheerful face appeared onscreen.

"Good morning, Suzume!" she sang, and I winced at the piercing noise. "I saved you the trouble of having to head to Reikai. I'll drop off the compact at your place."

"Thank you, Botan." I smiled.

We hung up, and I made my way out of the single bedroom and headed to the bathroom. The apartment was small, but comfortable. Back in the yukaku, I lived in a large establishment, but there were often many of us to a bedroom. **

I made good living until the famine hit. Only samurai or men who were rich—or just daft enough to spend their money on us—were continuing patrons. Many of the girls who could quit did so, and left to a place where the famine wasn't so destructive.

In a bout of stupidity, I too tried to leave. The nearest town was said to have suffered the least from the famine, and so it did for a few months. And then it hit harder than expected.

I washed my face and ran my wet fingers through the butchered hair that belonged Ito, Yori. She'd taken such little care in her appearance that it was hard to fix the damage. The style Kuwabara gave it could only save so much.

Ito, Yori was a spiritually aware young adult who had seen us Guides before. There was a rumor she had once asked a Guide to take her to the afterlife because she was tired of living. She said she would "off herself one day anyway" if the Guide didn't take her, she "just wanted a clean ending, if it could be helped." That, of course, kept her name in the gossip Guides loved to participate in for quite a while. So when Lord Koenma offered me the job, I broke an illegal deal with her.

She—almost eagerly—agreed.

Moisturizing her skin was a challenge, as was fixing the dry hair. She was at her wits end by the time I approached her with the offer. She seemed to have not gotten out of bed in days.

Brushing my teeth, I made sure to rough up the gums to strengthen them. Back in my room, I changed into the clothes that suited her personality. Just as I buttoned the denim jeans, a knock at the door came from the small living room.

I let Botan inside, and she handed me a dark blue compact. I almost envied her for being able to live in her own body, wear her own clothes, and be who she was. But I would be lying if I said I didn't sometimes enjoy playing the persona that was Ito, Yori.

It was nice to be someone else for a while. It was unpleasant to be someone else entirely.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" I asked, closing the door behind her.

"Well, Aiko thinks it is," Botan mused, sitting at the love-seat in the middle of the small living room. "I trust her judgement. I also trust Ryuunosuke."

Fukui was another story.

"How are they? Ryuunosuke, I mean," I asked, heading to what was more of a kitchenette than a real kitchen.

"They're fine, for the most part." She smiled and then paused. "If this goes through, then I think they'll feel better…"

"Why are they agreeing to help?" I asked, pulling out a kettle to prepare some tea. "They usually tend to mind their own business."

Gossip was a pastime among Guides and Messengers. It was rare to not stick one's nose in the latest happenings, and so very few of us kept to ourselves. Some were quiet in the gossip, only eavesdropping or listening, but only a handful of people kept out of gossip entirely.

"I kind of…" She gave a nervous laugh. "I went digging into their files to see if there was anything I could use to help incite them…"

"You blackmailed Ryuunosuke?" I blanched, staring at the girl as she began waving her hands frantically.

"No, no! I would never. I just wanted to see if there was a reason they'd agree to help! I wouldn't use anything against them like that."

Skeptical, I prepared the tea and began heading to the small living room. "Well… What was it?"

Botan curled her legs under her and made herself comfortable on the love-seat's plush cushion. "Ryuunosuke knows Fukui."

Huh. "Small world, I suppose."

"Convenient. Ryuunosuke will help if Fukui does, so we really want her to agree."

"We're going to ask Fukui to help us," I repeated, doing my best to refrain from groaning. "This is dangerous; if she turns on us the entire mission is over. What do we do if that happens?"

Botan grimaced, and her eyes slanted away from me. "Aiko said she'd take the fall."

I paused, realizing the sentiment. "Then… who will take her lead afterwards?"

Botan shrugged. "She said Koenma will figure out the next move. She'll do her best to take all responsibility so we're not suspected."

The kettle began whistling, making both of us almost jump out of our skin. I took the uncomfortable silence with me as I went to prepare our cups. It followed me back to my seat as I handed Botan her cup.

"Do we really need Ryuunosuke then?" I asked. "If acquiring their help is so dangerous, I don't believe it's worth it."

"I can understand why she doesn't want to go down there again." The dealership. I never heard about what the outcome of that night was; I assumed it was fine since Aiko came out alive. Botan gave a sad smile and finished with a timid voice. "And if this can work out, I want to spare her that experience again. Besides, if we can get Ryuunosuke and Fukui on our side, then we'll have even better access to the dealership."

She took a sip from her tea, letting the steam caress her face.

"Even if it means she'll lose her life if this doesn't work?"

Botan gave a small laugh. "Yeah… I guess it's a bit more appealing than going down there again."

"What happened down there?" I pressed.

"Koenma told me it's a War Crime Interrogation Camp."

I remembered it immediately, the day they proposed the idea. It was proposed before Reikai became strict about barrier regulations, if I remembered correctly. Over the many decades since it had been proposed, councils continued altering the legislature as appeals continued forth in both favor and disapproval of the idea. Had it actually passed, I was unsure of, since they never made a public announcement or file.

"So… if things go bad," Botan said. "Just give the body back and go on with your duties, okay? Act like none of this ever happened."

Had they actually passed it? Why wouldn't they announce the approval of the legislature like any other if they had? It sparked controversy, yes, but everyone involved was still civil about it.

"I need to get going, Suzume!" Botan returned to her cheerful voice, keeping up the jubilant façade. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Right," I said, stilling trying to mull over my memories of when exactly it was first proposed.

I could research it another day, I told myself, look through my journals when I had the time. Right now, I had to worry about the fate of the entire mission. It rested entirely in Fukui's hands—because Aiko had passed it on to her.

I didn't much like going back to the café when I was off. Even on my off days at the brothel, I still lived there. Now that I knew the luxury that was going home after a shift, I tried to not go back to work unless they were paying me to do so.

I had to think of a way to get Fukui alone for just a few minutes. Sometimes I noticed she would leave to the bathroom alone. Other, rarer, times one of the girls—or both of them—would go with her.

I sat at the booth and skimmed through a magazine while I waited for one of my coworkers to bring my free coffee. As my coworker set my drink in front of me, I watched as the girls entered the café. Hayashi secured a small table for them as Natsume and Fukui headed to the restroom. I mulled over the possibilities on getting Fukui's attention without being suspicious.

"One black coffee." Hayashi's voice came from next to me, and I glanced to see her at the counter ordering. "One orange shot, and one… Hm." She pouted and put her finger to her lips in thought as she mulled over the menu.

I figured now would be a good time to try. If I couldn't get Fukui alone, I needed to at least get close to her.

"You should try the mint chocolate chip frap," I said, and Hayashi turned to see me, surprised.

"Oh, I didn't notice you, Yori!" She smiled. "The mint chocolate chip frap, you say?"

"It's smooth and chill," I continued. "I think you'd like it, especially since there's chocolate mixed in."

"I'll try it!" she chirped to my coworker before turning to me. "Are you on your break?"

"No. Today's my day off, actually."

She leaned against the booth next to me. "I didn't take you for the type to come in on your day off."

"I haven't been getting much sleep lately," I admitted before nodding to my drink. "But I still have to stay awake or I'll mess up my sleeping schedule."

Firm hands clasped my shoulders and shook me. "What's up, Yori?!"

Natsume leaned over my shoulder and grinned, and I returned it with a smooth smile. "Hey, Natsume."

"You're one of those people that come back in to work when they're off?" she snickered. "I expected so much better from you."

"It's just for today," I said as Natsume rounded me and headed to the counter. "I messed up my sleeping schedule. If I stay home, I'll end up falling asleep."

"Take a few sleeping pills and go to bed a couple hours early." Fukui's voice was next. I looked over my shoulder to see her. "You can knock out for about twelve hours."

"I'll try it out." I smiled as Natsume ordered for both her and Fukui. "And what about you all? You have classes today?"

"Yeah," Natsume whined. "But I'm skipping my first two classes."

"Oh?"

She grinned to me. "Today, I have my real estate examination!"

"Ah, I'm surprised. Real estate is very hard nowadays, with how little unowned land there is."

"I know," she sighed. "But my goal is to start here and then go overseas."

"Yes, families who own land are likely to never give it up," I mused. "Even in times of great financial hardship. Some families would rather lose the land than give it up, even when presented with a large sum of money."

"You sound like you're familiar with this," Hayashi noted.

I paused and rerouted myself with a laugh. "Yeah. I may not look it, but I'm a big history buff."

"Really?" Natsume asked. "What time periods do you like?"

"From the early Edo period and up," I replied. "I'm a bit fuzzy on topics before the Kyoho era. I still have trouble finding new information about that era." ***

"Have you thought about attending college to be a historian?" Hayashi asked.

I laughed. "No, I quite like learning about things on my own time, at my own pace, and at my own expense."

My coworker brought the girls their drinks and they offered to sit with me at a table. We settled down. They asked me random questions about the eras—often, unbeknownst to them, ones I lived through—and I answered them promptly.

"What would be a good history thing to know for my exam?" Natsume asked, wrapping her lips around her coffee's slim straw.

"I don't think history is truly going to help you on a real estate exam," I laughed. "Just remember that when you pass, it'll be hard making living here. Just think about how people see their land when you're answering questions."

"When I pass." She grinned and jabbed a pointed index finger at me. "I like your way of thinking, Yori."

"How long have you been in Tohoku, Yori?" Hayashi asked.

"A couple of months now," I replied. "I used to live out on the islands."

"Oh, I was wondering why you were so dark," Natsume hummed. "All that beach time?"

"Well, I believe most of my color is genetic," I said, looking at the mahogany skin that belonged to Ito, Yori. "But yes, I spent plenty of time at the ocean."

"Why'd you move up here?" Hayashi asked, sipping on her frap.

"Yeah, it's so cold up here," Natsume groaned. "I'd so rather be on the beach."

"My family sold their land," I lied. "We have a few distant relatives up here."

Natsume "ooh'd" as Hayashi gave a sympathetic smile. I took this chance to turn to Fukui, who had yet to speak throughout our time here.

"What about you all?" I asked, and Fukui looked up to me. "Why'd you pick Tohoku University? You guys live around here?"

"No, we're a little more down south," Fukui replied.

"It's a little nobody city." Natsume waved her hand dismissively. "But I'd be lying if I said the shopping district wasn't on point."

I was trying to think of a way to get Fukui alone. I didn't know where to steer the conversation that would make her get up and leave. It wasn't often that she got up alone, unless she had to use the bathroom. But she'd just returned from there.

I pondered on how to get her back in there. It wouldn't be likely that I could get her to drink so much she had to go again before they left.

And then I remembered.

"So how are classes? Your social lives?" I asked before turning to Fukui once again. "Any guy's you have your eyes on?"

Natsume snorted. "Hitomi has a new crush every other day, and they're always the most obnoxious kind of guys."

"I think you should give Sumiyoshi some credit," Hayashi said. "He's a sweetie."

Natsume cackled. "Hitomi's choice in men is horrid. They're all weirdos one way or another."

Fukui opened her mouth to retort, but it hung open for only a few seconds before she decided to close it.

"Remember Chase?" Natsume laughed. "Who can forget that loser? Who calls themselves by an American name?! That's like some fucking foreigner asking us to call them a name in our language when their name is something so fucking simple like Josh. Just because they ask you to call them something doesn't mean you have to do it."

By now, Fukui had opened her compact mirror and was her fringe with her index finger and thumb.

"Okay, but they're all genuine guys," Hayashi noted. "They're always so sweet."

"They're just in it for the pussy, Hitomi." Natsume leaned towards her. "You need to find a strong guy, someone that can be there for you when shit gets tough. Those wimps will just run away at the sight of a challenge."

Fukui gently rested the nail of her ring finger on the waterline of her eye and then closed the compact. "I need to fix my liner."

She stood and headed towards the restroom, and I wondered how quickly I should get up and follow her. Should I be discrete about it? I didn't think there was a way for me to be discrete anymore.

"I told you to not talk about the people she likes like that," Hayashi sighed.

"What? It's true," Natsume scoffed. "She needs someone to be there for her when things get tough. The average guy runs like hell when he smells a mental breakdown coming, and she has one every fucking week."

"You can't help who you like, Akane."

"Should I…?" I looked over my shoulder towards the restroom. "Should I go talk to her?"

"She won't talk about it." Natsume shrugged. "But go for it. Don't be surprised if she starts crying."

I stood up slowly. Heading to the bathroom, I could hear Hayashi chiding Natsume, who was just groaning retorts. I stepped into the restroom and glanced to the stalls before finding Fukui leaning over one of the sinks. She was applying liner to her bottom waterline.

I stepped to the sink next to her and twisted the handle.

She didn't even so much as look at me. "It doesn't bother me, if that's what you're wondering."

"Oh, really?" I smiled, pushed the soap dispenser, and then placed my hands under the running water. "That's good to hear. I thought the topic upset you."

"Nope." She pulled the black pencil from her left eye and moved to her right.

"Well, I'm glad. You didn't defend yourself, so I was worried."

"Her ragging on my choice in partners is the least of my problems."

I scrubbed my hands, watching the soap foam around the drain. "It's all part of the bigger picture, isn't it?"

She paused and pulled the pencil from her eye. Then the brown eyes shifted to me through the mirror.

"You want it all to stop, but don't know how to go about doing it. At least, not alone."

She watched me warily, brows furrowing in confusion, as I turned off the faucet. I reached for the paper towel stack hanging above the soap dispenser.

She returned to lining her waterline. "It's not that deep, Yori."

I began drying my hands, and once one was dry, I reached in my jean pocket and pulled out the navy blue compact. I held it out to her, and she pulled the pencil away from her eye again. This time, she straightened herself and pulled away from the mirror.

She stared down at it in confusion.

"When you want to do it, and not be alone, then use this." I gestured it to her, and her face scrunched in confusion and skepticism.

Her eyes flickered up to me and then back down at the compact. "Is this some kind of… gift? I'm not a lesbian, and I don't plan on liking girls any time soon."

"Wh…" I paused. "No, it's not—"

"I thought you were into Ami. She's the gay one."

"This gift isn't from me. You know what I'm talking about, Fukui."

Her confusion turned into pure suspicion. "Who is this from, then?"

I smiled softly. "The girl you asked for help. This is your chance to get it."

I gestured the compact to her once more and watched her face drop from hard suspicion to a soft realization.

Gingerly, with light fingers, she plucked the compact from my hand.

"When you're alone and ready, use it," I said, giving her Yori's signature wink. I turned on my heels. "I'll see you out there."

As I threw the paper away and opened the door to leave, I hoped Aiko made the right decision.

I hoped Fukui was ready to help us end this.

A/N:

* The Tenpo famine began in 1833. Shizuru was just being mean.

** Yukaku were walled-in "pleasure quarters" where prostitution was legal. The prostitutes were called "yujo" which essentially means "play girls" or "pleasure women." After a while, the pleasure quarters began offering more than sex, such as dances, plays, etc. Eventually, it turned into something purely of entertainment, and so came the Geishas (originally men had these roles)—the entertainers of the yukaku and, eventually, "descendants" of the yujo.

*** Kyoho era started in July 1716.