A/N: Hello everyone! If you're already bored with this intro, skip down to the actual story.
Well, I'm back with another installment of the Warners misadventures behind scenes. This one will be a little bit different compared to the other chapters. For one thing: Its a three-parter, so that's an indication on how long it is. I initially meant to have this done in time for Christmas last year, but of course, life got in the way. On top of that, the more I wrote, the more involved this segment became. In fact, I almost considered releasing this as a separate story. Well, here it is! Hopefully, you guys won't hate it too much.
Chapter 7: A Scene Chewers Fantasy
Spring 1993
King Yakko
Day 1:
"Make no middleman…I am the King!" Yakko blared to an imaginary audience, his arms wide open. His feet were damp from the dew covered grassy hillside. His golden crown gleamed in the morning 10 AM sun. Off in the distance, several miles away was the town of Amsterdam. He barely heard the few extra footsteps behind him.
Dot shook her head. "Oh dear, he's already in costume,"
"He's been at it since 7 this morning…" Mike, the director grumbled. "Yakko… Hey, Yakko!"
"I got it." Dot said before she ran over to lift the crown from his head. The eldest sibling blinked in realization. "Hey, Mr. Ham! Can we have my brother back?"
"Hey, sis. Where's Wakko?"
"We were hoping you'd know, clearly that's not the case," Mike cut in flatly.
Yakko pulled out the script copy from his hammerspace. "Can't I help it if this script was made for me?
"No, but it be better if you helped us instead" Dot spat back.
"Alright, I'm coming already"
The two Warner siblings and the director aimlessly roamed the entire set as they looked for their younger brother. They passed within crew members peppering the grassy hillside. This episode was a special occasion for the Warners. It would be the first time they had ever stepped foot outside the country. But neither Wakko nor Dot's excitement combined could even rival that of Yakko's. Not only was he playing the lead role, but he also had very few pre-written lines. Which would give him more than enough room to ad lib. But improvisation would have to wait.
"Wakko! Where are you, little bro?!" Yakko called out.
"You've seen him?" Dot asked two other crew members. Both of them shook their heads.
"Yo, Ed! you've seen Yakko?" Mike asked Ed. The head cameraman lazily sat in a chair, His head was buried in a subscription of High Times.
"Nah" he replied bluntly.
"Wait, I see him!" said Dot. She pointed to where she spotted him. They found Wakko sitting on the ground, looking up at a tall black box with a large window on each side. Muffled audio could faintly be heard from inside.
"Here among the dramatic Aramean Mountains in the Hinkle River Valley, lies the tiny kingdom of Anvilania. The world's largest producer and exporter of one thing anvils…"
"What are you doing Wakko?" Yakko asked.
Wakko pointed at the box. "Just exploring the movie set, what is this?"
"That's a sound booth, sometimes they use these in case actors need to do extra voice-over work."
"Wonder who's inside?" said Dot. Yakko picked up something of the ground.
"Well, according to this clipboard, it's Frank Welker," Yakko answered. The trio stood on their toes in an attempt to see inside. What they saw horrified them. Wakko gripped both hands on the side of the door and ripped it open. Off in a distance, they could see Mike hurrying towards them.
"Wait, don't open that..!" Mike yelled. The unhinged door flew just above his own head. Inside the booth, the voice actor jumped in his seat.
"What the?!" Mr. Plotz yelled out. He nearly bonked his bald noggin on a microphone.
"You're not Frank Welker!" Yakko yelled out.
"What did you do to him you monster?! Did you eat him?" Dot cried out.
Wakko climbed onto Plotz and stretched the CEO's mouth wide open. "Hello, Hello!" his voice echoed. Plotz flung him to the ground.
"Get off me!" Plotz growled. "I didn't eat him, you nitwit! I'm filling in for him! He's out sick!"
"You do voice acting?" Dot wondered.
"Of course, how do you think I got into show business?" Plot answered. He saw Yakko raise his hand. "On second thought, don't answer that,"
Wakko picked up the clipboard Yakko dropped. "Who is Frank Welker?"
Plotz gave him an incredulous stare. "Who is he?! The best actor to walk the earth!"
"Wait-he can't be any better than Tres McNeille!" Dot protested.
"Yeah, even though Harnell is much better." Wakko jumped in. Dot shot a side glare at him.
"Please, he's better and far more experienced than those two combined!" Plotz scoffed.
The two of them didn't take that well."Hey!"
"Hey hey, Sibs!" Yakko reassured them. "Everyone's entitled to their own opinion…"
"And he definitely trumps that hack, Robert Paulsen!" Plotz added. The Warner's smile broke away.
"…except when their opinion is clearly a bunch of donkey…"
"Plotz, are you alright?!" Mike's voice interrupted. Yakko quietly slid the handle of his mallet back into his hammerspace. "I'm sorry, I should have told them you'd be here…"
Plotz scowled at him. "Little late for that aren't we?" He got down from his chair.
"Hey, where you going T. P.?" Wakko asked.
"Leaving, I only wanted to be here for one hour. I still got a vacation to finish up,"
"Sure you do…" Yakko and Wakko said in unison. Their eyebrows rose in sync.
"It's okay, we know you couldn't stand to be away from us." Dot added sweetly.
Plotz nearly sputtered to say another insult when Mike jumped in front of him. "Thanks again for volunteering, I know filling in for Welker is really huge favor…"
Plotz cut him off before he could butter him up some more "Don't thank me, just promise everything will be done by the end of the week."
"Trust me everything will be smooth, as silk"
Yakko rolled his eyes at Mike's response.
Plotz sweetly patted the director's cheeks. "Oh, I know so, cause if anything bad happened here, Id make sure you never work in a studio again." The CEO walked off on that cheerful note.
"Uh... okay,"
"Bye T.P!" the trio chirped.
"Don't go overboard on the spray-on tan!" Yakko cheered.
The CEO looked back and grumbled as he stormed off. When the trio looked behind them, Mike stood there. Glaring at them.
"You know when the CEO of Warner Bros lets you out of the country for the very first time. This is not how you thank him!"
"Hey relax, that's T.P. in a good mood." Said Yakko.
"Whatever, just try not to be too destructive while we're here. We only got three days..."
"Sure Mikey, onward siblings! Make no middle man, I am the king!" Yakko strutted with a flick of his crown. His brother followed him.
"This is going to be painful…" Dot mused. Just as she ran off, the floor manager came forward.
"Mike, we got a problem, the extra playing the third guard is sick."
Mike rubbed his forehead at hearing this. "What?"
"You know anyone else that can do it?"
"Oh, man…"Mike muttered when an idea sprang up. He could see one of his fellow cameramen rig up a camera stand. "Uh, Ed, can you do me a quick favor…?"
[Scene 1 Take 1]
The short started off with Plotz's vocal intro over a fictional map.
"Here among the dramatic Aramean Mountains in the Hinkle River Valley, lies the tiny kingdom of Anvilania. The world's largest producer and exporter of one thing, anvils."
The shot dissolved into another one revealing a glorious white castle, which in reality was a small brown remote castle with a temporary facade built around it. This was done since the crew was unable to rent out the larger castles peppered around Amsterdam. That and Mike didn't want the Warners to destroy a real castle by accident.
"And on this very day, the citizens of Anvialiana are awaiting to the arrival of the heir to the throne. The man who's been chosen as the new king."
"The King approaches!" The first guard shouted. His voice was barely audible.
What?!" The second guard yelled out.
"The king approaches!" the guard voice nearly broke.
"Cut! Come on! The 'what' part isn't until later!" Mike barked. After a brief microphone change, the scene resumed. "And…Action!"
[Scene 1 Take 2]
"The King approaches!" the first guard yelled, his voice was heard clearly this time.
"The king approaches!" the second guard yelled. At the bottom were Nurse and the third guard.
"The king approaches" the third guard recited half-heartedly.
"Cut!" Mike shouted. "Ed, what was that? I know you can be a bit more energetic than that,"
"Mike, I'm a cameraman. I don't act."
"You can, and you will. You're only other person that can fit the costume. Now suck in that gut!"
"Geez…"
[Scene 1 Take 3]
"…The king approaches!" the second guard yelled again.
"The king ap- gahh!"
Nurse suddenly ripped off the top half of Ed's costume. His belly jiggled when he shivered in the cool breeze.
"Nurse, what are you doing?!" Mike yelled. Nurse examined all the creases and joints in the armor plates.
"Checking to see if Mr.' Bangs the drum slowly' has his instrument on hand." She replied, giving a distasteful look towards Ed.
"I told you that wasn't me!" the half-naked cameraman protested. Mike rubbed his head; he did not need to be reminded of the "Piano Rag" ordeal.
[Scene 1 Take 4]
"The king approaches!" the second one yelled.
"The King approaches!" Ed bellowed into Nurse's ears.
"I heard" Nurse groaned, clearly not amused.
"Oh, excuse me prime minister," he apologized. A blare of trumpets soon followed.
"The kiiinng" a chorus of guards recited in harmony.
Nurse came down from the steps just as the music began to play in the background. "Good folk of Anvilania we…" she let out a yawn. She hunched over and rubbed her eyes.
"Cut! Stop! Nurse you alright?" Mike asked.
"Sorry, I've been rehearsing my lines since 7 this morning." she replied. A random crew member came up with a cup of coffee. "Thank you,"
[Scene 1 Take 5]
"Good folk of Anvilania we welcome our new king, so raise your hammers high and let the anvils ring…"
Meanwhile off in a distance, Yakko jittered with goosebumps as he and his siblings rode in on an inflatable limo. He could hear the chiming of anvils followed by the chorus.
"We let the anvils ring, to welcome our new king. The king…!"
"I love that sound…" he shuddered. A few shushes came from his siblings. The excited Anivilanians cheered on as the limo pulled up the castle. The vehicle screeched to a stop… but not without bumping into a few bystanders.
"Ow! My leg! Aaagh!"
"Cut!" Mike yelled.
[Scene 1 Take 7]
This time a wider place was cleared for the oncoming limo. Out of nowhere, Yakko sprang from the hood, fireworks blasting below him. Glitter gleamed from his sunglasses to the gold sashes around his military-inspired jumpsuit. Mike felt like he was watching the Superbowl halftime show all over again.
"Cut! Yakko, you know there's no scripted line for you in this part. And you know I don't have a problem with you ad-libbing."
Yakko slowly took off the glasses. "So, what's the problem?"
"Could you do something a little less over the top?"
[Scene 1 Take 8]
Yakko sprang out the hood with a pair of regular sunglasses. "Live from Amsterdam, It's Friday Morning!"
"Cut! Little less, Yakko,"
[Scene 1 Take 10]
"Hello, my people, my lovely people."
Dot shook her head. "You don't know what over the top is, do you?"
"Little less," said Mike.
[Scene 1 Take 12]
"Make no middleman! I am the king!"
"That isn't until later, Yakko." Mike bristled.
"I know, I just love saying that line."
[Scene 1 Take 13]
"Hello my name is Yakko, I will be your king this evening. If you need anything, just ask."
His siblings appeared with pins. Their smiles disappeared when they repeatedly stabbed the side the limo. But with no results.
"Come on! Pop!" Wakko groaned.
[Scene 1 Take 14]
Finally, the limo popped; the vehicle deflated around their feet.
"Still think live in Amsterdam was better…" Yakko mumbled.
[Scene 1 Take 15]
The trio walked over to Nurse, who responded with a curtsy.
"May I present myself? I am…" Nurse greeted before she let out another yawn. "...too tired to talk to." She rested her arms on Yakko's head.
"Hello, too tired to talk to Nurse!" Wakko whooped.
Yakko beamed. "I have a feeling this is going to be a great episode to work on."
"Cut! Someone bring her some coffee." Mike yelled. Wakko lifted up his cap to reveal a cup of coffee on his head. He handed to her.
"Thank you," said Nurse.
[Scene 1 Take 16]
"May I present myself? I am the prime minister,"
Both Warner brothers got down on fours, their tails wagging like puppies. "Hello, Prime Minister Nurse!"
Dot covered her face in embarrassment. "Boys, do they get better when they get older?"
Another blare of trumpets followed. Nurse moved the scene forward, "We welcome you with the national anthem of Anvilania. As sung by one of our national treasures, Mr. Perry Coma"
A man stood alone on stage. He snapped his fingers and perkily stepped in rhythm. "Anvilania, Hey Anvilainia! My home in where I stand...!"
"Cut! Perry, I told you earlier to sing it slow," Mike complained.
Perry stared at him incredulously. "But this is slow, it's a ballad"
"Well do it slower…"
[Scene 1 Take 17]
"Anvilania, Anvilania. My home is where."
This time Perry remained perfectly still, but he still snapped his fingers. Although it was slower, it still wasn't what Mike wanted.
"Cut!"
[Scene 1 Take 18]
"Anvilania, Anvilania. My home…"
"Reaally slow…"
[Scene 1 Take 20]
"Anvilania, Anvilania My…"
"Sing as slowly as you can.
[Scene 1 Take 23]
"Anvilania, Anvilania"
"Perry!"
"How slow do you want it?!" the singer answered irritably.
"As slow as the Beanie the Cerebrally Challenged Bison!"
Hey, he's brain dead, there's a difference!" Yakko remarked in offense.
Mike turned to his floor manager. "Where's our vocal coach?"
"She's sick too" The floor manager answered.
Mike facepalmed. "What?! Her too?! What is going on?! Okay, uh just do the song as if you're yawning,"
"What?!"
Mike pointed to Nurse, "She how's she's yawning? Now yawn for me" Perry faked a yawn for him. "Good! Now draw that yawn out as long as you can like this, ahhh…" He had his fingers in the corner of his mouth.
Perry matched his body language. "Aaahhhh…"
"Ahhh…! Longer! Ahhhhh…"
"Ahhhh…"
At this point, Mike jaw was literally hanging to the ground. Meanwhile, everyone stared at the droning men in complete bewilderment.
"The hell you doin', Mike?" Ed exclaimed.
"Our director, everyone!" Dot commented. Both her brothers' squeezed their long ears shut.
"Uh… I think he's got it, Mike," Yakko added.
[Scene 1 Take 24]
"Aaaanvilana…Anvillannaa…" Perry droned into the microphone. Mike gave a brief thumbs up in the back. It was perfect. The song was so dull, it was starting to put the audience to sleep. Which is exactly what was supposed to happen. Finally, he stopped.
Yakko and Dot uncovered their ears. "That's the national anthem?"
"It's not all bad," said Wakko. Nurse had fallen asleep on his head.
Both of the Warners blew into some paper bags and popped them. The crowd woke up instantly. All except Nurse, who still snoozed away.
Yakko noticed. "Whoa, she's really knocked out."
Wakko looked inside his hat. "And I'm out of coffee,"
"I won, Wha… my… prize?" Nurse mumbled in a dazed like state.
"A date with Pauly Shore," Dot whispered in her ear. Nurse woke with a scream.
[Scene 1 Take 25]
"Good Anvilanians, I present the heir to the throne." Nurse resumed with renewed energy.
"Let us introduce our seehhlves…" Yakko squawked completely out of key.
"Cut!" Mike jumped out of his chair and stormed right towards Yakko. "Yakko, did you remember to rehearse?"
Yakko innocently looked around. "Uhhhh, yeah"
The director narrowed his eyes "What's with the uhhh… yeah?"
"Uhhh…What about it?"
"Uhh….cause that makes me think you're lying,"
"Come on! That was just vocal warm up… do re fa so la ti do! And action!"
[Scene 1 Take 26]
"Let us introduce ourselves, o people of this land" Yakko sang. His pitch shifted on people and land.
Wakko couldn't help but cringe as he slid to his side, "We are the Warners Brothers"
Dot walked in the shot, a hand buried into her face. "With sister close at hand"
"Cut!"
"Is this still part of the warm-up?" asked Wakko.
"Okay, so maybe I haven't practiced as much as I needed to," Yakko guiltily admitted.
[Scene 1 Take 28]
"Let us introduce ourselves, o people of this land"
Wakko slid to his side. "We are the Warners Brothers"
Dot came at his other side."With sister close at hand"
"I bet you all are wondering who is this young unknown…" Yakko's voice broke again at unknown.
"Cut!"
"Sorry, I'm really having trouble hitting those high notes."
"Wait! I got an idea." Wakko answered. He pulled out two things from his gag bag, a helium pump and then a red balloon. He inflated said balloon and handed it to Yakko. He let some of the gas seep into his mouth.
[Scene 1 Take 29]
"I bet you all are wondering… What the?!" Yakko's voice squealed like a rabid chipmunk. Both his siblings fell back laughing.
"That really isn't any better, guys" Mike said, wincing at the shrill noise. He barely noticed Wakko giving the balloon for Dot to use before using it on himself.
"Christmas, Christmas, loop de loop! Time for…" the trio squeaked in three-part harmony.
"Argh! Make it stop!" Ed cried out. Several of the extras covered their ears.
"Cut! Cut!"
After a few minutes and a cup of water, Yakko's voice had calmed down enough to re-shoot.
[Scene 1 Take 30]
"I bet you all are wondering who is this young unknown, and why am I inheriting the Anvilanian throne."
The crowd joined in. "Yes why, yes why. Oh please please tell us why."
"The bottom of the family tree starts with Yakko that is mee…." Yakko sang. Dot and Wakko brought a large chart showing their entire family tree. "I'm the cousin to the sister of the son's nieces uh, a daddadda, and my grandma's only cousin was the…!"
"Nope! Cut!"
[Scene 1 Take 31]
"I'm the cousin of the brother's fathers mother…"
[Scene 1 Take 32]
Wakko pulled out a metro meter from his gag bag. Yakko held his script in his hand.
"I'm the cousin to the sister of the son's niece's brother of the uncle…" he recited to the rhythm of each beat. " I feel like there's an incest joke in there somewhere,"
"Well don't bring it out! This is a kid's show" Mike scolded. The Warners rolled their eyes.
"Sure it is…" They replied in unison.
"Ugh..."
[Scene 1 Take 34]
"I'm the cousin to the sister of the son's niece's brother of the uncle daughter's father of the nephew's sister mother, and my grandma's only cousin was the king's daughter siblings…!"
"But they're all gone" the chorus responded.
"So that is why…I am now your king"
"He is now our king"
Yes, I am now your king, repeat what I just said.
Repeat what I just said"
And let the anvils ring"
All of the Warners performed a three-part xylophone solo, complete with anvils varying in size. Yakko dragged a medium sized anvil while Dot dinged higher notes on a tiny one. Wakko ran up to a large anvil and bashed one long note into it. He dizzily collapsed onto the ground.
"Whoa! Wakko are you alright?" Dot asked.
Wakko held his head. "Yeah, just forgot my helmet."
[Scene 1 Take 35]
This time with a helmet underneath his cap, Wakko banged several lower notes on the anvil.
"Oh King anvils mania..." The Warners sang together. "Was for Anvilania…" Both Yakko and Dot popped out from behind a bulbous looking extra. Wakko slid up from between his legs. This caused the man to lose balance and topple on top of them.
"Arrggh! Someone get him off us!" Dot squealed.
[Scene 1 Take 36]
"...Was for Anvilania!"
The scene resumed with Yakko hopping across a row of anvils. Just above them, a row of men dinged several notes on them with mallets. This was unfortunate for Yakko, as he came in a little too early.
Whack!
Yakko howled in pain. "Ouch! Someone cater to the royal foot!"
[Scene 1 Take 37]
This time Yakko came in after the anvils had been rung. "So good citizens I pledge to you, I'll do the best that I can do.…"
The anvils he hopped on continued to get higher and higher. Making his jumps bigger and a lot more precarious. The last one he reached was a good several feet away. Without hesitation, he went for it… and a moment later his face tasted the cold hard iron.
"Oooh..." Dot and Wakko winched.
[Scene 1 Take 38]
"So good citizens I pledge to you, I'll do the best that I can do. For on our country…" This time he paused, then he ran for it. He cleared the jump. "Yes!" Ecstatic, Yakko did another jump for joy. No sooner when he did that, he fell right off the ledge.
[Scene 1 Take 39]
"…I'll do the best that I can do. For on our country and our king!"
Yakko's ability hit the last high note was undercut by feedback squealing through the microphones.
[Scene 1 Take 40]
"...king! Let the anvils ring!"
The chorus returned to finish off the song. "Let the anvils ring!"
"Let the anvils!"
"Let the anvils ring!"
This time the rest of the scene went as planned. Several extras hammered down on more rows of anvils. The entire castle shook and trembled from the vibrations. They were so strong that Yakko lost his balance and fell off. This, however, was intentional.
Nurse came forward. "Come your majesty. It's time for your…" The subtle vibration made her stumble and hit the anvil face first.
[Scene 1 Take 41]
"Come your majesty, it is time for your coronation."
This time Yakko grabbed her just before she fell again. He led her inside the castle where two guards still shook from the song. Their armor fell off, leaving them in nothing but their shorts.
"Cut! Perfect!" Mike cheered. The first scene was finally done.
Within the next hour, everything for the next scene was set up inside the old castle. Yakko and his sibling's knelt before Nurse and a bishop. Mike readied his megaphone.
"And… Action!"
[Scene 2 Take 1]
The bishop handed a scepter to Yakko. "I crown thee Yakko, king of Anvilania. Holder of the scepter." Yakko nearly lost his footing when the golden item laid into his hands. "And for the royal family, wearer of the medals…" He handed the medals to Dot. "And defender of the anvils!" he handed the anvils to Wakko. Yakko stared at his siblings in complete befuddlement.
Yakko dropped his scepter. "You have anything in a sanzelbelt with, I'm sorry. Hold up!"
"Cut! What is it, Yakko?" Mike called out.
"No offense, but shouldn't all this stuff here should be handed to me? I am the king!"
"But this stuffs made of real gold and iron," said Wakko.
"You won't be able to carry it all." Dot added.
Yakko waved off their concern."Don't worry I got it! Lay it on me, Bishop!"
The bishop shrugged. "Okay…"
[Scene 2 Take 2]
"I crown thee Yakko, king of Anvilania."Holder of the scepter, wearer of the medals," This time the bishop handed Yakko the medals. While it was hard enough to carry the scepter, Yakko's rubbery neck could barely support the solid gold medals draping around him. "And defender of the anvils." Each item was steadily weighing him down, but the anvil flattened him against the hard floor.
"You have anything in a sanzabelt with a skoosh more room?" Yakko uttered breathlessly.
"Huh, that actually worked better than in the script" Mike stated.
Dot looked down at him. "Told you it was too heavy," Yakko looked up the camera hovering above him. Ed, who was back in his regular clothes, happened to be filming this particular shot.
"Ed, will you assist the royal highness..?" Yakko asked. He struggled to get his gifts off him.
"I'm not your flunky, Rudolph." Ed grumbled. Yakko shot a brief glare before the rest of the scene went on as planned.
[Scene 2 Take 3]
"And now the national anthem." Nurse declared.
"Not again!" the trio whined.
Perry redid his sleep-inducing performance from earlier. "Anvillaniaaa…."
The same result came as well. After writhing on the floor in pure agony, the Warners popped some paper bags, waking the crowd back up. The rest of the scene continued.
The bishop led Yakko to his throne. "King Yakko, your throne."
"You're throne, how do lift the lid?" Wakko asked.
"Since when do you lift the lid?" Dot retorted sharply. While the scene was still going on as planned, Mike turned away for a brief moment.
"Hey, is the jester ready?"
The floor manager simply opened the door behind him.
The person in question back flipped into the room. "Here I am!" He strutted onto the set, the bells on his floppy hat jingled with each step.
"…May I introduce you to the court jester?" Nurse asked Yakko.
"You may." Yakko answered.
Then the jester began his joke, "Hey, I wanna tell you, folks, this anvil was so big…
"How big was it..?" The crowd asked.
Thud! An anvil slammed to the ground right behind the jester. He looked behind him. "I don't know!"
Mike grimaced at the jester's cheesy grin. "Cut!"
[Scene 2 Take 5]
"How big was it?" the crowd shouted again.
"Bigger than our cameraman's belly. I swear you could play bongos on him," The jester replied. Ed flipped him the bird off-screen.
"Some people are so sensitive," Dot remarked at Ed's rude gesture.
Several more takes continued. With each anvil missing the jester by inches, each take constantly tested Mike's patience. And each 'joke' constantly tested everyone else's nerves.
"Bigger than my bank account..."
[Scene 2 Take 8]
"Bigger than my ex-wife..."
[Scene 2 Take 12]
"Big as that those Warner's red noses, They must be reindeer or really love that bottle, know what I mean?"
Dot rubbed her own nose. "Hey!"
"We only tried the stuff one time…!" Wakko protested before Dot clamped his mouth shut. Now was not the time for too much information.
Yakko wielded his scepter with a sour look on his face."The king is not amused,"
"Neither am I," Mike added. "Cut!"
[Scene 2 Take 13]
"How big was it?" the crowd asked halfheartedly. Finally, the anvil landed flat on the jester's head.
"I don't know I can't see the cue cards." he dizzily moaned.
"Your majesty, now would be a good time to, greet the people with your …address." Nurse stated. She drowsily nodded her head while saying so.
Yakko pointed behind her. "Dresses would be Dot's department."
Nurse turned around, not realizing her breasts accidentally rested onto Yakko's head. The adolescent Warner said nothing as the biggest grin stretched across his face.
Ed happened to be filming this particular shot. He muttered under his breath. "Lucky son of a b.."
"Cut!" Mike yelled. Nurse bobbed her head up.
"What happened?" she yawned.
"Just a brief mistake Nurse," said Mike, trying not to let on what happened.
"We don't make mistakes, just happy accidents," Yakko said in a hushed voice. He twiddled his scepter as an imaginary paintbrush.
[Scene 2 Take 14]
"Your majesty now would be a good time to greet the people with your address."
"Dresses would be Dot's department"
"I'm introducing a new fall line!" said Dot. She wheeled in a clothes line of dresses that were all the same color.
"Polka Dot?" Nurse asked.
"If you insist" she replied. She and the other Wanrers broke into an impromptu polka session. Wakko played along with a fake accordion while music played in the background.
Up-tempo disco music bumped throughout the temporarily installed speakers. "Ah, ah, ah, staying alive, staying alive…"
"Whoa hold up! What's up with the music?!" Mike yelled over the music.
"Someone has been messing with sound engineer's equipment. We can fix it later." the floor manager replied. The Warners continued with their dance until the music stopped.
"No, no I meant for the king to give his address to the kingdom" Nurse corrected the Warners.
"And, Cut!" Mike called out. "Nurse, you can sit out this next bit,"
"Good…" Nurse moaned. She leaned against Yakko's throne and dozed off. Wakko threw a blanket over her for comfort.
[Scene 2 Take 15]
A thunderous cheer came from outside the castle. Yakko headed towards one of the castle's balcony and looked down at the crowd below him.
"Citizens of Anvilania, I stand before, because if I was behind you, you couldn't see me"
Wakko played a rim shot on drum set not far behind him. The response was nothing but silence.
"Thank you, and now for my address. King Yakko Anvillania, 902010. As your sovereign leader I promise not to abuse my total unyielding supreme absolute power over you. But I must ask you this…" Yakko looked around the audience below him. "Can you do the Tomahawk chop?" his response was nothing but more silence. "The electric slide?" More silence, and some confused frowns. "Free bird chant? Everyone knows that one!" More of the same. Yakko turned around. "What's wrong with this crowd?"
"Yakko, we're not in America. Most of these extras are Dutch natives. They're not going to get all your stuff." Mike explained.
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"
"Just do something that's universal, something anybody can get. Like my Gookie!" Wakko proposed. He then proceeded to puff out his cheeks into his signature gookie face.
"Our show hasn't even come out yet, Wakko! It's not a thing!" Dot corrected.
"It will be…" Wakko responded with a sly grin. "Do, something simple!"
[Scene 2 Take 16]
"But I must ask you one thing! Can you do this?" Yakko asked. He then pulled at the corner of his lips, babbling from the mouth. "Bablbalble…"
A few crowd members did likewise. "Bablbalble…"
"Ooh very good! How about this?" This time he pulled at his mouth and ears. "Eeeeeeee!"
More of the crowd did the same. "Eeeeeee!"
"My people," Yakko mused with satisfaction. "Now here's an old favorite…" Yakko proceeded to do several sillier faces and sounds.
"Got to hand it to him, he's adaptable" Mike stated.
"That's our older bro for you!" Wakko answered proudly.
Yakko was now spinning his arms like a helicopter. "Very nice! Okay now, this! Yaahhawhoa!"
"Yaahawoah!"
"And that's our brother going overboard," said Dot.
"Can you do this?"
All of the sudden Yakko and the crowd were doing jumping jacks. The ground began to rumble.
Mike nearly lost his balance. "Yakko, stop…!"
"Now here's another old one! Boingy Boingy Boingy…!" Yakko said before he bounced in place, the audience did likewise. The vibration from all the pogo dancing was shaking the microphones, creating another round of piercing feedback. At this point there was so much feedback, you'd think this was an intro to Jimi Hendrix show. "Now! Circle pit…!"
Mike grabbed him from behind before he could say any more. "No! Cut!"
Later on that evening, the set was prepared for the next scene. It was a temporarily built castle just one mile away from the other castle. The Warner's decided to sit in on the shooting since their next one wasn't for a few more hours. That and their tour of Amsterdam was cut short.
"I told you that waitress wasn't into you," Dot responded critically.
"She would have been if Wakko hadn't eaten all the food in the bar,"
"She said it was all you can eat!" Wakko remarked.
"Boys, no sense of control" Dot sighed.
"Spink, read that last line for me again" a new voice answered. It came from their co-star/special friend for the short. Dictator Dunlikus Umlatte.
The Warner trio stared in silence. They hadn't really met him up until now. All they knew was that this was his very first acting role. Top heavy and muscular, the burly man donned a dark purple uniform. The youngest sibling's eyes nearly popped out of her head.
"Hello, Nurse!" Dot wailed. The man barely paid any attention as his eyes were glued to a copy of the script. Next to him, a short bearded man carried a copy of his own.
"Umlatte, we've rehearsed this scene 50 times, I think you…" Spink said before he let out a yawn. "…have it."
"Nonsense! The star of this short must have his lines perfectly enunciated!" Umlatte replied.
Yakko tapped his foot. "Uh, Equeeze me, Webster, what do you mean you're the star?"
Umlatte twirled his long mustache. "I'm the villain. Everyone loves the villain in these stories. The villain is always the star!"
"Maybe in Disney movies, but this is Warner Bros." said Yakko. He shoved his own script copy in Umlatte's face. "And the script's title clearly says, King Yakko, not King Ham."
Wakko jutted a thumb at his older brother. "Look who's talking."
"Exactly." Dot added.
"Please, don't make me laugh!" Umlatte scoffed.
"Wanna bet?" Yakko fired back.
"Pshaw, your anvil collision from earlier got all the laughs out me."
Yakko narrowed his eyes at him. He had just started to forget his nose was still sore from that scene. "Are you familiar with the term special friend, Mr. …" he looked at the script. "Ohm lette?"
"It's pronounced Oohm laht!" Umlatte enunciated.
"Whatever you say, omelet man…"
Before Yakko could say any more, the tiny bearded man came forward, tugging at Umlatte's coattails.
"Umlatte, we're on!" he said.
"Thank you, Spink"
The costar simply tossed the script at Yakko's feet. The irritated Warner plopped down in a chair behind the camera. His siblings did likewise. Off to the side, Mike had his megaphone ready.
Mike brought his voice to a whisper. "And… Action!"
[Scene 3 Take 1]
The scene began with Umlatte looking through a spyglass. He hovered over the balcony's rocky ledge as if he were in a play for Shakespeare.
"So, the new king of Anvilania is a child!" Umlatte bellowed dramatically. He stressed his voice on every other meaty fists shook in the air. "A kid! A pushover".
"Cut!"
A light bit of giggling came out of nowhere. Mike immediately knew where it was coming from.
"Yakko…"Mike warned.
"Something tickled me, I'm sorry" Yakko replied innocently.
"Umlatte, you mind toning it down just a bit? That was a little over the top."
The co-star arched an eyebrow at him."Over the top? But isn't my character supposed to be a brute, mad with power?" Umlatt asked critically.
"Yes, but you can't sell it if you overact it too much,"
"Isn't better to overact than to under act?"
"Not if you want sound as silly as possible" Yakko joked.
[Scene 3 Take 3]
This time, Umlatte added less dramatic emphasis on his words. "So, the new king of Anvilania is a child. A kid, a pushover."
"A kid, a pushover" Spink repeated in a thick British accent. Umlatte bristled at his brief interjection.
"Anvilania has always made a fortune of those anvils…" Umlatte looked down to see Dot tugging onto his leg.
"Did anyone tell you look fantastic in purple?" she appeared in her eyes.
"Get off!"
[Scene 3 Take 6]
"Anviliania has always made a fortune of those anvils. But soon that fortune will be mine…DO YOU HEAR!" Umlatte's booming voice knocked Spink to the ground.
"I hear..." Spink weakly replied.
"Cut!'" Mike yelled over Yakko's chuckling. "You're supposed to be a bad guy, not a drill sergeant!"
[Scene 3 Take 7]
This time Umlatte kept his voice at mid volume. "Anviliania has always made a fortune of those anvils. But soon that fortune will be mine, do you hear?"
"I hear, I hear. But how will you take over the country?" Spink asked. Umlatte grabbed his minion, squeezing him till his eyes popped out of his head.
"I will go there and demand they surrender, the..." He stopped mid-sentence when Spink immediately wriggled out of his grasp. This time both the Warner brothers started laughing.
Wakko doubled over. "Sorry, but he- he looked like those cute little squeaky toys from Petco…!"
Dot scooted her seat several feet away from her brothers. "I'm not with them!"
Spink rubbed his neck. "Ow! Not so tight will ya?!" His British accent dropped instantly.
"Sorry" Umlatte apologized.
[Scene 3 Take 8]
Umlatte grabbed Spink again, doing his best not to squeeze the life out of him. "I will go there and demand they surrender, the king is a child…" He grasped at the air with a meaty fist.
"Cut! Still, a little heavy on that delivery Umlatte" Mike stated.
"Yes, ham it up some more, Mr. Omlette!" Yakko retorted.
"It's pronounced, Umlatte!" the costar yelled at him.
[Scene 3 Take 9]
"I will go there and demand they surrender, the king is a child. He will grovel before me!" Umlatte continued. During his monologue, Spink fell out of his hands. "It will be like taking anvils from a baby!" The camera lens zoomed in as he cackled with maniacal laughter. Unfortunately, Umlatte didn't realize he was standing far too close."Ugh! Get thecamwaout of mahmowf!" he gagged.
"Oh no…" Mike groaned as he went over to help pull out the camera that was now half buried inside of Umlatte's mouth. When it was finally out, Umlatte approached the Warners.
"Well, what did you think?" he asked with a smug grin on his face. Yakko's face scrunched with skepticism.
"Ahh...that was okay. For a rookie," he said. 'The smugness instantly vanished from Umlatte's face.
"What?!"
"Hey, he's not bad for a first timer!" Wakko answered. Dot jumped onto Umlatte's shoulder pads.
"I'll say…" she cooed.
"See, I already have a fan!" Umlatte stated proudly.
"So? Fan admiration is irrational." Yakko quipped. Suddenly Mike stepped in between them.
"Guys cool it, I'm not going to have this going on all night!"
"Hey, he started it!" Yakko protested. Umlatt turned his back to him.
"I'm not going to let a child step all over an actor's debut." He grumbled.
"You're a stuntman who studied Shakespeare for two years; that doesn't make you a full-fledged actor," Mike said bluntly.
Umlatte gave him a sour scowl before storming off. "I'm…going to rehearse some more"
"Thanks for the honesty, Mike" Yakko thanked Mike. "Two years? I've got him beat by 60 years of experience."
"…Which were spent in a water tower." Dot retorted.
Yakko scowled at his little sister. "You really know how to burst someone's bubble don't ya, sis?"
She smiled. "That's what I'm here for!"
Mike suddenly held his head and stormed off.
"Where are you going Mike, Potty Break?" Wakko asked.
"Aspirin break." Mike moaned.