Chapter 13: Directed By Poultry
[Scene 2 Take 3]
Mike and Plucky looked on as Dot did her entire scene again from the very beginning without any more interruptions.
"…He strolls by and goes, Bllleeeaggh!"
She hummed out the rest of the verse and continued to skip merrily towards the bridge. Meanwhile, the troll appeared at the bottom of the bridge. He took out a marker and crossed out a drawing of a goat etched on the bridges stony surface.
"Goats give me such gas." The troll said his line half-heartedly.
"Cut!" Mike said. "Hey, can you be a little more energetic with that delivery?"
"Oh, sure thing!" the troll responded, pretending that he knew what he was doing.
[Scene 2 Take 4]
The troll tried again from the top. "Goat's give me such-" An enormous burp blurted from his mouth, interrupting himself.
"Not that energetic." Mike commented flatly. "Cut!"
[Scene 2 Take 5]
"Goats give me such gas." the troll said before he rubbed his stomach. Just off camera Dot's humming could be heard from afar. He rubbed his hands together. "Sounds like dessert."
"Cut, still pretty flat on that delivery." Mike said. "You need your script, man?"
The troll stood up at alert. "Huh? No I ate the script, because I'm a troll!" he replied.
Another tiny organ note came before a scared Wakko suddenly appeared from above him, rushing across the bridge.
"Wakko, it's time to stop!" Yakko yelled at him from afar.
Mike was understandably confused by this new actor. He leaned down to Plucky's ear. "Where the hell did they get this guy?"
Plucky, who'd been unusually quiet until now, just shrugged at him. "Hmm, who knows?" He then gave him a warm coffee cup. "Oh, here's the coffee you wanted."
"Thanks; I was literally two yawns from conking out." Mike said before he took one large gulp. He frowned when he noticed something tasted very odd about this cup. When he opened the lid, he was surprised to see that it was practically white. "Hey this cup has more milk than coffee…" he said, his voice suddenly sounded more drowsy than usual. Within a couple of moments he was out like a light. A few of the other cameraman looked on with concern as they watched their director slumped into his chair, deep in slumberland.
"Gee, I wonder how did that get in there?" Plucky said with a devilish grin. "Welp, since I am his assistant, it looks like I'll have to take over for the time being."
Dot ran up to Plucky, genuinely annoyed that her scene was being interrupted once more.
"Who died and made you director all the sudden?" she asked him.
"Mike did, he made me his assistant. Isn't that right?" Plucky replied. He lightly shook the back of Mike's head with his hand to make it look like he was nodding. "But have no fear, this will be the first Animaniacs short to be directed, and visualized by yours truly!" Plucky flinched when he heard a choir of groans come from the cameramen. "Everyone's a critic"
Babs and Buster looked on from afar, face palming at the change direction this short was now getting. Meanwhile, the Warner brothers observed what was happening from where they stood.
"Well, this short is D.O.A." Yakko commented.
"Duck Over Animaniacs?" Wakko asked.
"Not what I ordered, but it fits."
Plucky tossed his copy of the script aside before he grabbed the megaphone which had fallen out of Mike's hands.
"Won't you need that?" Dot asked, watching the loose script pages blow away in the wind.
"Please, I am a director, my vision isn't limited to some stupid script!" he told her. Plucky held the megaphone to his beak. "Places, people! Places! Lights, Camera, Action!"
[Scene 2 Take 6]
"Goats give me such gas." The troll said once more, this was followed a quick unscripted burp. He heard Dot humming. "...Sounds like dessert." The troll rubbed his hands. Just above him, Dot had made it to edge of the bridge. She began to cross it when the troll climbed up the bridges railing and ungraciously flopped onto the roadway with a thud, stubbing his toe.
"Blahh Blahh! Ouch!" he said, taking Plucky's advice to a literal extent.
Dot fell back not with fear but with uncontrollable laughter. "Are- Are you guys serious?!" She said, tears falling from her eyes. "I'm supposed to be scared of that?!"
Several feet away the Warner brothers got a glimpse of the troll as well, and it didn't take long for both of them to start bursting into laughter.
"No one told Grape Ape was guest staring with us today!" Yakko joked. His brother rolled on the ground guffawing at his feet.
"Oh, see?!" the troll groaned.
"Cut!" Plucky yelled. "You just made your entrance wrong, I said jump into the role, not flop into it!"
"Whatever" The troll said before climbing down the bridge. Plucky had noticed that despite that fact that the troll towered over Dot, he really didn't seem all that massive compared to the rest of crew members. In fact he looked to be a foot shorter than Mike. Plucky looked at all the cameras around him and noticed they were all spread far and apart. He had an idea.
"Let's get these cameras bit closer!" Plucky said, motioning to all the cameras around him. The crew members did as told and came closer. Unfortunately, Plucky hadn't specified where exactly he wanted them to come close on, So all the cameramen started honing in aimlessly around him. "Alright, come a little closer! Closer! Let's get a real good-Ouch!"' A lens from one large camera slammed into his beak, bending it at a sharp angle. Plucky moved it out of the way with a chuckle. "Yes, as much as I'd love a close up of myself…" He then screamed. "…I meant one for the troll!"
"Sorry" the cameraman replied.
Plucky walked away, still trying to straighten out his bent beard without luck. "Make up!"
"Hey that's my bit!" Dot spat at him.
[Scene 2 Take 7]
The troll sprang onto the bridge again. "Blah, blahh, blahh!"
"Cut!" Plucky barked.
While the cameras were much closer now, something else seemed off to Plucky. He pushed aside one of the cameramen to look through one of their camera lenses. The troll still looked too small in his eyes.
"I though actors are supposed to look bigger on camera! I can't bring these in any closer! Maybe I should try a Dutch angle, or how about a fish eye lens?"
"You better not make me look like a fish!" Dot warned.
The troll, who was now getting visibly annoyed as well, came off the bridge and over to where Plucky stood. He leaned down to whisper something in his ear.
"Okay people! Let's bring these cameras down by a few inches. Apparently the troll thinks they're too high!" Plucky said with derision. The troll grunted as another organ sting roamed from afar. Sure enough, when Plucky checked the cameras again, the troll appeared much larger from the lower vantage point. "From the top!"
[Scene 2 Take 8]
This time the troll perched himself on a rock for an extra boost, he sprang into the air and onto the bridge. "Blaahhh…!"
Dot said nothing as she keeled over and covered her mouth, suppressing a fit of giggling. The troll buried his face into his hands.
"Still not scary enough" she giggled.
"Cut, Come on! At least growl or something! You're supposed to be a ferocious creature!" Plucky demanded.
"Arrrhhghh!" The troll gave his best growl, it was so unenthusiastic it might as well been a yawn. "This troll is not much of a growler."
"On second thought, forget the growl. How about roaring?" Plucky asked him. He came onto the bridge and stood in between him and Dot.
"Don't know if I can do that either…"
"Sure you can, lets here it!" Plucky said, "Really let it come from deep inside."
"Okay…"
The troll took a deep breath. He sucked in his gut before he opened his mouth. Out of his gaping mouth came a low guttural roar, that quickly turned into enormous burp right into Plucky's face. The release of gas and smell garlic breath knocked the green duck off his feet.
"Deegusting!" Dot reeled.
Behind them the bunnies laughed at him from a afar.
"Ferocious, I'm fainting!" Babs cooed dramatically. She fell into Busters arms with a giggle.
"How was that?" the troll asked.
"You got it..." Plucky wheezed. The dazed duck staggered off the bridge, nearly falling into the stream below.
"Ugh fine" The troll grumbled as he climbed off the bridge again.
Several more takes followed with the troll attempting to make his big entrance. With each try, the troll perfected his leap onto the bridge with no problem, but no matter how much he improved, Dot refused to show any sign of being terrified.
[Scene 2 Take 19]
"Oh ahh, faints in shock." Dot said flatly, giving her best effort so far. The hilarity of the situation long since wore for her.
"Sometime today, sis!" Yakko yelled off camera. Both he and Wakko still sat from a distance, getting more impatient with each take.
"Aw, come on!" The troll exclaimed. "Can you try to be afraid of me?"
"Well you're not making it easy!" Dot replied with annoyance. Plucky came back on the bridge with a grin and tiny box in his hands.
"I know how to make her scream. Wear this." said Plucky. He handed it to him. The troll took one peek inside the box and let out an evil toothy grin.
"What is it?" Dot asked him. Plucky sauntered past her without looking back.
"You'll see"
[Scene 2 Take 20]
"Action!"
Plucky kept his eye on one camera; it was positioned in a low worm's eye perspective on the bridge. Dot skipped towards the camera when the troll's massive legs sprang into the shot, stopping her in her tracks. Dot jumped in the air screaming with genuine terror. Off camera, Plucky said nothing but give a thumbs up, the reaction was nothing short of perfect.
Hidden out of this particular shot, was the item Plucky gave the troll. On the troll's head was an orange mask of Baloney the dinosaur, the nightmarishly saccharine costar the Warners had filmed with just days before. He was also one the trio most notorious "special friends".
The troll tossed the mask aside so he could finally move the scene forward. "Blahh, blahh, blahh!"
Dot snapped out of her PTSD induced shock and did her lines as scripted. "Who does your hair sweetie?"
"Uhh…I do" The troll replied truthfully, knowing that he hadn't memorized the script fully until this point.
Dot felt at the grimy green stands. "Look at those split ends! What kind of shampoo do you use?"
The troll felt his own strands of swamp green hair.
"Frog shit?" he improvised. Dot slapped his wrist. "Ouch!"
"Hey, this is a kid's show!" she scolded him. In an instant she had his tongue in one hand and bar of soap in another.
"Cut!" Plucky yelled.
[Scene 2 Take 21]
"Ground up toad?" the troll told Dot.
Dot shook her head and tied his tiny tuft of hair into a ponytail with a bow at the end. "Oh no, toad is for dry hair, you should use a nice PH hanna. Well buh bye!"
She then skipped past him. Angry, the troll growled with clenched teeth and rushed in front of her.
"Blah! I'm gonna eat hic- you!" he said with a small hiccup. A trail of soap bubbles from his mouth interrupted his train of thought. Meanwhile, the bunnies looked on from a distance.
"Such riveting dialogue," Babs snarked.
"Babs this is Animaniacs, your expecting Shakespeare here?"
"Hey!" Yakko and Wakko yelled from afar.
[Scene 2 Take 22]
"Blah! I'm gonna eat you!"
"Why would you want to do that?" Dot asked sweetly.
The troll leaned down to her height. "Cause I'm a troll!"
Wakko blared another organ chord from across the bridge. It was on the same organ he's tossed earlier in the day. They ignored the brief interruption and continued.
"You don't want to eat me, Im…"
She paused when she noticed Wakko's head peeking out from the side of the bridge, making his signature gookie face. He disappeared when Dot turned to his direction. A light giggle was heard. Dot's brow furrowed at the odd interruption before they decided to try again.
[Scene 2 Take 23]
"You don't want to..."
Dot stopped when she noticed the troll was too busy adjusting his loose fitting pants to pay attention. She cleared her throat.
"Ooh, sorry" the troll apologized.
[Scene 2 Take 24]
"You don't want to eat me!..."
Before Dot could finish, Yakko's head popped out the back of the troll's shirt collar. He blew a raspberry and vanished before Dot noticed. The troll was genuinely confused when she started glaring at him.
"What? It wasn't me!" the troll replied.
Dot forced a sweet smile when she grabbed him by the collar. The troll gulped. She leaned close to his ears with clenched teeth. "Troll, this is my special scene, don't ruin it for me! "
[Scene 2 Take 25]
"You don't want to eat me! I'm…" Dot recited. She stopped mid-sentence when the troll's loose pants started sagging below his waist. The troll looked down and blushed as he stood in his tighty whites. Dot pinched the brim of her nose. "…mortified."
Plucky face palmed "Come on Mr. Troll, this isn't a rap music video!"
"It is now!" Wakko's voice responded.
Out of nowhere Yakko and Wakko jumped into the scene with a boom box, their faces hogging the entire camera. "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun!" they sang.
Crunch!
They jumped out of the path of Dot's oncoming mallet which had smashed the camera. "Yikes!"
"Cut it out!" Dot screeched. She chased her brothers off the bridge with her mallet as the troll did nothing but cover himself with embarrassment.
"Gahh! Stop!" Plucky screamed at the Warners before he chased after them. Meanwhile, the cameramen and crew members could do nothing but sigh and shake their heads at the train wreck this short was turning into. After couple of minutes running around the set, and several broken props later, Plucky finally managed to catch up to the Warner brothers and save them from their sister's wrath. But not before Dot's mallet met his foot.
WHAM!
"Ouch!"
"Oops!" Dot apologized. "That was meant for Wakko."
Plucky ignored her and dragged the Warners brothers away from her and back to the field where they had done the previous scene. "Stay over here! I'm the director! I'll tell you when it's time for you to come!"
"Assistant director, Plucky," Wakko corrected.
Plucky ground his teeth. "Just stay here until the scene is done!"
"Well hurry it up already; I got about 94 more romps left before I get tired." Yakko told him.
Plucky groaned as he limped back into position. "Someone get this duck some ice! Action!"
[Scene 2 Take 26]
Dot shot a wary look at her brothers sitting off to the side. Then back at the troll, who thankfully wasn't having another wardrobe malfunction. She mustered up the will to move the scene forward.
"You don't want to eat me, I'm just a wittle skinny thing!" said Dot. She opened up arms to emphasize her point, and then her skirt fell down by accident. The troll fought back the urge to snicker as Dot regained her composure. "Darn it, now you're rubbing off on me!"
"Shit, sorry" the troll said, not sounding sorry at all.
"Please! Can we move forward?!" Plucky wailed dramatically.
[Scene 2 Take 27]
Dot decided to move on to her next line. "I know. Eat my brothers, they're way meatier than I am." She looked behind her. "They should be coming over the bring any minute now. Please?"
The troll gawked at her cheery response. "Gee, you're cold hearted."
"It's an old fable. Lots of them have a cold hearted ness to them."
[Scene 2 Take 28]
"...They should be coming over the bring any minute now." Dot said again before she let out her cutest smile. She batted her eyebrows for extra measure. "Please?"
The troll crossed his arms, reluctantly pondering her request. "Mmmm, Okay, you can go. I'll eat your brothers."
Dot walked past him. "Good luck with your- " She stopped mid-sentence when she noticed the trolls bald head. "Hey, what happened to your hair?! I just fixed up!"
The troll felt the top his head and realized it was gone. He looked behind him to see that the braided tuft of hair had fallen onto the roadway. He looked back at Dot.
"Uhh, trolls age quicker" The troll responded.
"Cut! Just keep going!" Plucky demanded. As he did so, a crew member brought him a bucket of ice. He dunked his sore foot in. "Ahh.."
"But won't this create a continuity error?" Dot asked him..
"No! No one will notice! Action!"
[Scene 2 Take 29]
Dot skipped off to the other side of the bridge. She waved good bye to the troll. "Good luck with your hair!"
The troll rubbed the top of his now bald head again, still wondering how it had even fallen off in the first place.
"Annnd! Cut!" Plucky yelled out. "Finally! Onto the next scene!"
"Whew!" Dot sighed in relief.
"Ugh..." The troll grumbled. He put a pair of fingers to his temple and pretended to shoot himself. Then he fell off the bridge and hit the stream with a splash.
Plucky flinched when he saw Mike slowly stirring from his deep sleep. The tired director sat back up in his seat with a yawn.
"Hey, huh? Where are we now?" he mumbled. Plucky quickly slipped his megaphone back in his hands.
"We're two scenes ahead now! I got- I mean you really got us ahead of schedule" Plucky said, trying his best to gaslight the sleepy director.
"Good. I thought I dreamt you were directing for a moment…" Mike replied before he bored an irritated glare at the green duck "Hey, what was up that last coffee cup you gave me? It might as well have been warm milk!"
"Oh I'm sorry, must have added too much cream, I'll get you another!" Plucky told him.
Plucky went off to retrieve his next cup when Mike grabbed his megaphone. He glanced at where they in the script and picked up right where they left off.
"Action" he said.
[Scene 3 Take 1]
The next scene started back where Yakko and Wakko sat. The two of them sat bored on the ground, unaware the cameras had started rolling again. Mike leaned forward to catch their attention, breaking his personal rule to never interrupt a scene while it's currently in progress.
"Psst! Yakko, Wakko." he whispered. The two of them sat up at attention, finally glad they could do something now.
"We're on!" Yakko muttered to his brother.
Both of them got up and proceeded with another romp session. "Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp, hey! Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp, hey!"
Suddenly Wakko pulled out of the conga line. "Ohhh…"
Yakko stopped to see what was wrong. "Where are you going?"
"My bottoms all sore from romping." Wakko told him.
Yakko blew a kiss for the camera. "Goodnight everybody!"
"Cut!" Mike said with a yawn. "Somehow, I saw that coming."
[Scene 3 Take 2]
"My bottoms all sore from romping I'm gonna go pick flowers with Dot..."
Meanwhile several feet away, Dot had chosen to sit this scene out at of the hill where Babs and Buster sat. She helped herself to some of their food.
"So, notice anything special about your costar?" Babs asked Dot with knowing grin.
"Other than he almost ruined my special scene, no." Dot replied irritably.
Buster began to explain. "Come on Dot, the troll is…" He stopped talking when he saw something out the corner of his eye. His jaw dropped to the ground. "Whoa…!"
Their eyes widened when they noticed a female chorus of burlesque line dancers all surrounding Yakko.
"I love cartoons!" Yakko said to himself. "Annnd, everybody!"
The group of dancers formed a long conga line to do another romp session. Yakko trailed along in the back.
"Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp, hey! Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp, hey!" They sang.
"Boys!" Dot said. She shook her head before turning to Babs. "Aren't you worried about Buster joining in?"
Babs scoffed before downing a sandwich "Dot, he's way older than your brothers, he has self-control…" She looked up to see Buster wasn't at her side, and instead was down behind Yakko in the conga line.
"Hey, Hey! Get out of the shot!" Mike said half-heartedly.
Dot smirked. "If that's self-control, I'd hate to see no control."
"Buster, get back here!" Babs yelled. Fuming, she ran down to retrieve Buster and pulled him away by his puffy tail.
"It was a moment of weakness, Babs! I couldn't resist!" Buster said to Babs. The romping line continued on and on The eldest Warners hands firmly gripped at the lower hips of the last line dancer, both of them dangerously close to her buttocks. A brief smack was heard.
"Watch the hands!" the line dancer yelled.
"My hands slipped! Honest!" Yakko said truthfully. He rubbed his cheek.
"Alright that's enough!" Mike commanded. He was another yawn away from dozing off again. "Cu-"
He froze when Plucky returned, handing him another coffee cup. Shooting a suspicious glare at Plucky, he took it from him and opened the lid to look inside. It was dark brown.
"Don't worry Mike, this particular coffee cup has absolutely no sugar or milk this time!" Plucky told him.
"Good." Mike said before taking a large sip. He put it down with a frown. "And… this is decaf."
The sleepy director instantly collapsed into his chair, the coffee spilling onto the ground.
"I am so absent minded." Plucky snickered over his snoring. He swiped Mike's megaphone. "Places everyone, places!" He ran back over to the bridge to start the next scene, completely ignoring that Yakko and the girls were busily romping in the woods. "Next scene! Action!"
[Scene 3 Take 3]
The next scene started out with Wakko happily skipping along the meadow's dirt road towards the bridge.
"Cut!" Plucky said.
Wakko looked up "What's wrong?"
Plucky scratched his head. "Something about your entrance, it seems a bit off."
"Hmm, well I don't see anything wrong with it"
Plucky pondered this as he paced around Wakko. "It needs that special something that the last scene had. What was it that Mike said? Zany Fare? Savior Faire?"
"Warner Flair? Oh, I can do that!" Wakko stated in realization. He then ran further back along the trail so they could start over from the top.
Plucky smiled. "Finally, someone's on this set is making this directing stuff easy for me!"
[Scene 3 Take 4]
Wakko skipped towards the bridge again like before. This time however he flapped his arms like bird and puffed his cheeks in his signature gookie face.
"Cut!" Plucky yelled, instantly realizing he'd spoke too soon. "What is that?!"
"Warner flair, Wakko Warner flair!" Wakko replied with pride.
"Well, why aren't you frolicking and singing like Dot did?"
Wakko reeled in disgust. "Eww, cause that's Dot's thing! Not mine!"
"Well he's not wrong…" Dot commented.
"Well, pretend like it is your thing." Plucky told him.
Wakko shrugged before he walked back to the trail to start over. "My gookie is an acquired taste anyway."
[Scene 3 Take 5]
Wakko skipped to the bridge again, this time he took Plucky's advice, to an extent at least. He sang the Tiny toons theme song. "Were tiny were toony, were all a little…" He gave up half way through. "Ah I'm sick of that song."
"Ouch! Harsh." Buster commented.
"I feel attacked." Babs added with fauz offense.
"Well he's not wrong..." Plucky muttered. He was too focused on the bridge where the troll would pop out again in just a few moments.
The troll, now having perfected his entrance, put on the Baloney mask and sprang into action right when Wakko came onto the bridge singing a different song. "It's time for Animaniacs and were…"
THUD!
Wakko screamed in genuine fear when the troll landed right in front of him. When the troll took off the mask however, the middle Warner sibling, who hadn't really him seen up close until now, looked up at him with giddy curiosity.
"Blahh, Blahh, Blahh!" the troll roared.
"Wow! Cool!" Wakko exclaimed.
"Cut!" Plucky screamed. "Why aren't scared of him anymore?!"
"How can I? He looks like better version of Baloney!"
"Oh, hell! You too?!" The troll moaned.
Plucky got down on his knees and pounded his head. "Why is this happening to me?"
[Scene 3 Take 6]
"Blah, Blah, Blaaah!"
"What happened to your hair? Didn't it used to be green?" Wakko asked.
"Told you someone would notice!" Dot commented off screen.
"Cut!" Plucky yelled before he turned around. "Quiet on the set!"
[Scene 3 Take 7]
"What happened to your hair?" Wakko asked again before he jumped back in realization. "Wait a minute. I know! You're the troll!"
Plucky winced from the organ sting that was not done by Wakko for once. Instead it came from Dot, who sat atop the organ Wakko played earlier.
"Well somebody had to do it!" Dot answered. She performed another organ sting right afterwards. Both the troll and Wakko ignored her.
The troll roared again at Wakko. "Blahh! Im gonna-ooh!"
A bright camera flash went off in his eyes, temporality blinding him. Wakko had pulled out a developing photo from a Polaroid and put it into a scrapbook.
"This one will go right in between my shot of Bigfoot and the Purple People Eater!"
[Scene 3 Take 8]
"Blah, Blah, Blahh! I'm gonna eat- Huh?" The troll was interrupted again when he noticed Wakko paced around him.
"How'd you get so many of these warts?" Wakko asked. He paced around him and examined the purple creature's bumpy deformities all over his skin. He tugged on his hands, looked under his hairy arms, and pinched his cheeks.
"Stop that!" The troll protested.
At one point Wakko then lifted up his tattered shirt to see what he thought was a large wart on the corner of his breast. He reached out to pinch it.
"What about this one on your chest?"
The troll yelped in pain before pushing Wakko of him. "Ah, that's none of your damn business!"
Wakko scowled at him. "Ooh, you sure have the mouth of a troll!" A tense organ sting from Dot followed afterwards. Glaring, Wakko looked back at his sister. "Stop that!"
"Not so funny now, is it?" Dot told him.
"Why me?! Cut!" Plucky wailed.
[Scene 3 Take 9]
"Blahh, I'm gonna…" The troll spoke again. He stopped mid-sentence when Wakko wrapped his arms around his him. "Don't…hug…me!" he grumbled sternly.
"But you're so soft!" Wakko added while he snuggled his head into his purple belly. A devious smile came on his face. "And I bet you're ticklish too!"
The troll pushed him away before he could even try. "You're fingers get anywhere me, I'll start eating those first!"
[Scene 3 Take 10]
"Blahh Im gonna...!"
"Say, what's this?" Wakko said when he picked something off the ground. It was the missing green tuft of hair that had fallen off the troll's head in the last scene. The troll's eyes widened when he noticed a devious grin stretched across the Warners face.
The troll backed away from him. "Don't you dare!"
"Dare to dream!" Wakko interrupted. Suddenly he sprang onto the troll and started brushing the tiny hair piece against the sides of his belly.
"No! No! Stop!" The troll yelled. He could barely fight back as the tickling sensation forced big hearty chuckles out of him, each one getter louder than the last.
"I don't believe this, If it's not the Warners laughing, he's laughing! Cut!" Plucky yelled. His commands were steadily being drowned out by the troll's uproarious laughter. Wakko swiped and jiggled the hair tuft around his sides. The troll fell over on his back, wiggling helplessly as Wakko continued his ticklish assault.
"Stop! Stop! Cut it out! Goddamnit stop!" he yelled, his regular accented voice crept in. He gasped.
Wakko stopped. "Was what that?!"
"What was what?" The troll quickly responded in his other voice.
"You sounded different for a moment, very familiar. What accent you were doing?"
Sweat beaded from the trolls head. "Uh… what accent?"
"It sounded like you were doing a type of English accent. Mines Liverpool! People say I sound like that one guy from the Beatles, but I don't see the resemblance."
The troll got up, readjusting his pants which had slid below his waist again. "Why do you even have that accent? You're not even from there!"
Wakko shrugged with a smile. "I don't know. It's just a thing I do."
"Cu-ut!" Plucky cried deliriously, slamming the megaphone into his face. Several more false starts and interruptions later, the scene finally managed to get somewhat came back on course.
[Scene 3 Take 21]
"Blahhh!" The troll roared again. He rose his arms above his head, halfway through his line, his pants fell once more. He looked down. "I'm gonna eat yooouu...Oh, fu-"
"Cut! This again?!" Plucky whined.
[Scene 3 Take 23]
The troll grabbed at his pants when he repeated his line again. "Blahh, I'm gonna eat you!"
"Cut!" Plucky yelped.
"Here, for your pants." Wakko said. He grabbed the waistline of the troll's pants and sprayed inside them with a thick fog of clothing starch. When he let go, they shrunk into a skin tight fit on the troll's calves.
"Hey, I did not consent to be starched!" The troll yelled at him.
"You're welcome!" Wakko said earnestly.
[Scene 3 Take 24]
"I'm going to eat you! Blahh!"
"You can't eat me Mr. Troll! I'm" Wakko said before he was interrupted by another organ sting. The middle Warner's fur rustled when he angrily clenched his fists. He ran off towards the organ where Dot sat and tossed it away from her, not even looking to see where it landed.
CRASH!
"Cut! Someone get a paramedic!" Plucky yelled. Dot looked over to see the organ had fallen onto someone else at nearby ambulance. A pained moan came a second later.
"That was the paramedic" Dot responded.
"Oops" Wakko muttered. Plucky said nothing as he rubbed his eyebrows.
[Scene 3 Take 20]
"You can't eat me Mr. Troll! Im under contract!" Wakko told the troll, he took out a copy of the Warners Play or Pay contract from his hammer space. "Wanrers Bros. would be very upset with you. They'd sue your pants off"
For extra measure, he tugged at the troll's pants before letting go. They snapped back in place.
"Ow! Oooh!"The troll winced, holding on to his crotch. The troll genuinely had no idea how to respond to that. So he let him pass. "Go on through!"
Wakko did as told and skipped right past him and into the forbidden meadow on the other side.
"Oh, you should eat my brother he's way meatier than I am." Wakko told the troll as he waived him goodbye. The troll flipped him off when Wakko turned his back on him.
"Cut! Take five guys!" Plucky yelled.
"Oh good. Ohh! Ooch! Ouch!" The troll complained. He winced with every step back under the bridge, his pants legs chaffing against his calves and crotch.
Meanwhile, Plucky sunk into his chair with a loud melodramatic sigh, irritated that this scene took just as long to finish if not longer than the last one. "Why couldn't this misfortune happen to a different duck?"
A few moments later, Buster and Babs hovered directly over him.
"Still enjoying being a director, Plucky?" Buster asked.
"Are you kidding, it's a nightmare!" Plucky replied. "I have to tell everyone how to everything around here!"
"Congratulations, Plucky. You just defined what a director is." Babs replied. "Maybe this is why Mike asked you to be his assistant instead"
"Honestly this would be a cake walk, if those Warners would stop mucking things up for me!" Plucky responded, unaware Wakko and Dot were standing close by with annoyed glares.
"Hey, we're right here you know! " Dot exclaimed.
"Don't remind me"
"If it makes you feel better, you got one more scene left to do." Buster said as he glanced at one of the Warner's script copy. Plucky took it from him and looked it over.
"You're right! Just one more, scene! Just one more, and I'll be done with this nightmare! Looks like it's with Yakko! Speaking of Yakko, where is he?"
"Probably still romping in the woods with those dancers." Wakko added with a jealous sneer. "Lucky..."
Sure enough, off in a distance the trail of line dancers was lethargically trudging in the grassy meadows while Yakko tailed along in the back, not looking tired at all.
"Romp, romp, romp, romp, hey...!" he sang over the other dancers, who had long since stopped singing along with him.
"Oh, right" Plucky muttered. The green duck slapped his hand to his face, remembering that he'd forgotten to call cut earlier for him. He came over to Yakko right when the line of dancers began to disperse.
"Come on one more romp! I'll even get in front this time!" Yakko said to the line dancers. All of them trudged away, completely exhausted. "Well it was nice while it lasted"
Plucky jumped right in front him and firmly gripped at his shoulders. "Yakko! Don't try anything funny. My sanity can't take it!"
The eldest Warner shoved the green duck off him. "Geez, calm down Kubrick! A little temporary insanity never hurt anyone."
"Yakko, I'm counting on you to make this last scene good! Don't laugh at the troll. Don't make him laugh!"
"So, no funny business huh?"
Plucky got down on his knees. "Exactly! Just react as if he's a real troll who's going to hurt your siblings! Please!"
"Plucky, you can trust me!" Yakko told him. He walked away to get in position when he turned around once more. "I'll even do the whole thing in one take"
Plucky let a out a huge sigh of relief. At least he could count on the oldest Warner to actually listen to him. "Thank you, now if you excuse me. I have to get another 'coffee' cup for Mike."
"Oh, don't worry!" Wakko spoke up. Plucky looked over to see him at the hill where the bunnies and Dot sat. "I got Mike another cup for you!"
This was far from good news for Plucky as he instantly broke out in a cold sweat. "You did what?! When?! I was about to…"
He froze when Mike tapped his shoulder. Shuddering in his webbed feet, he slowly peered over his shoulder to see the director tapping his feet. The director was wide awake, and he was not happy.
"Plucky, why did your last cup of coffee have two sleeping pills in it?" Mike asked him. He held up one of the pills that had barely taken the time to fully dissolve like he hoped.
Plucky tugged at his collar. "Oh that's what those were?! I thought those were sugar cubes!"
Mike's face didn't change. "Plucky, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to do my job."
The green duck shook his head and twiddled his fingers. "No! No! I've been your diligent assistant for the past few scenes while you did all the work…"
Before he could say anymore, Mike took him under his arm and dragged him back to his chair. Plucky squealed, trying to free himself but to no avail.
"Sure you were, so I take you have no problem sitting this last scene out. Right?"
"Right…" Plucky squeaked out.
Mike whipped out his megaphone, eagerly hoping to finally get this short finished already.
"Action!" he said.
[Scene 4 Take 1]
"Well it was nice while it lasted." Yakko said to himself again. He skipped off screen before jumping back into the shot. He motioned to the camera with his finger "Come on!"
Plucky tensed up in anticipation when he watched Yakko romp across the bridge. He hoped Yakko would do what he promised.
"Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp, hey! Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp, hey!" Yakko sang to himself. The troll jumped onto the bridge, this time he'd forgotten his trusty mask. For a split second, Plucky was relieved to see Yakko actually back away in fear just like he hoped.
"Blah, I'm gonna eat you!" the troll roared. Then Plucky saw the mallet.
WHAM!
The loud impact of Yakko's mallet flattening the troll made everyone jump.
"Oh shit!" Mike exclaimed. In the process, he'd 'spilled coffee on himself and Plucky, causing both of them to wail in pain.
Without missing a beat, Yakko danced all the way across the bridge and into the forbidden meadow, all while he ignored the troll's arms twitching underneath the mallet. "Romp, romp, romp, romp, romp, hey…!"
"Cut! Cutt!" Plucky screamed through the megaphone. Mike snatched it away from him, ignoring the hot liquid drenching his sleeves.
"Cut! Yakko! Yakko!" Mike yelled, the loudest he'd rose his voice all day. The Warner sibling ran back to the scene of the smash with a knowing smile.
"You rang?" he replied. He removed the mallet and tossed it aside. The troll laid on the ground, his entire body decompressed like an accordion.
Mike groaned, patting his damp sleeves. "Damn Yakko! Why did you do that?! That wasn't in the script!"
Yakko rested arm against the railway of the bridge. "Plucky said I should react as if he tried to hurt siblings, so I did exactly that. Isn't that right, Ed?"
He looked down at the troll, whose prosthetic head suddenly rolled off, revealing the real actor underneath.
"Ouch! …!" Ed muttered in his regular voice. The director dropped his megaphone when he saw him.
"Ed, Ed is that really you?" Mike asked a light chuckle creeped into his voice. Ed gasped before he snatched the troll's head and slipped it back on his own.
"No, I'm a troll!" he responded in his troll voice. Ed struggled to get up, his injured muscles buckling under his own weight. Mike came onto the bridge to assist his battered coworker. He helped prop Ed up against the side of the bridge before removing his mask again.
"Ed, that is you! What, why are you the troll? You know you can't act!"
"I know. I volunteered as a stand in for the real actor who was supposed to do this as a gag. Wasn't expecting to actually do it!" Ed explained to him. "But I wasn't counting on the real actor to become a flapjack! And since, the studio hasn't been able to find anybody else that wants to do this role, I'm stuck having…" he paused with an angry scowl when Mike looked away snickering with red cheeks. "Don't laugh at me!"
Mike turned back to him, trying and failing to hide his amusement. "I'm not, I'm just very, very happy that one my fellow cameraman has become so well rounded."
Ed was not moved by his attempt flattery as his face did not change.
"Really, you're calling the fat one, well rounded?" Plucky injected. The green duck's eyes widened when he finally processed what Mike had just said. "Wait a minute. A cameraman?! That's who I've been coaching this whole time?! No wonder this production was botched from the get go!"
"Aha! So you were trying to do my job!" Mike exclaimed.
"I request an entire retake with a new actor to reshoot! We need to shoot the whole short again!" Plucky ranted.
"What?! The hell we are!" Ed protested.
"Why reshoot? Turns everything we did isn't that different from the script." Dot said while flipping through her copy of the script.
"Yeah that not happening, Plucky. Besides..." Mike interrupted. He stood near a cameraman who opened up a latch to reveal that it held an empty reel "Were out of film. This short is done."
Plucky jaw dropped to the floor, tears welling in his eyes. "What?! All of it?!"
"Yep. Those hundreds of takes add up you know."
The green duck threw himself pounding at the ground and kicking his feet. "Oh no! Now my vison is ruined! Ruined!"
Buster and Babs came down from the hill to take in Plucky's misery up close. The younger Warners followed close behind.
"Dramatic, isn't he?" Babs stated, pointing at the crying duck.
"Calm down, Plucky. The editing crew will just take out all the bad takes in post-production" Mike said to Plucky.
Plucky got up and threw Mike's cap back into his face. "No! Edit more than that! Take my name off the credits! Remove me of any involvement of me from this train wreck! My directing days are done!"
"And no one cares…"Ed grumbled. He flinched when Mike patted one his shoulders a bit too hard.
"In all seriousness Ed, you really have made my day!" Mike told him. "Honestly had no idea it was you underneath that mask."
"How could you not? We saw that from the very beginning!" Babs told the director.
Buster pointed at the Warners "And you guys! Even you three didn't suspect it?!"
"Oh, we knew..." Yakko said. He and his siblings huddled around Ed with sly grins.
Ed's jaw dropped. "What?! Why didn't you bust me then?!"
"It wouldn't be as fun if you knew. And to your credit, what little there is, you almost fooled us!" Dot told him. The Warner trio then leapt onto him and kissed his face.
The cameraman shooed them away with a pout. "Stop that! Well' I'm glad you three lots enjoyed it, because I sure didn't. This was the most shit day ever!"'
Wakko pulled out a calendar from his hammer space. "Mmmm, I don't think that day exists on the calendar."
Ed grumbled with agitation. "Ooh, where's that damn paramedic? Paramedic!"
"Coming!" A female voice answered. The group looked over to see a familiar face heading towards them. It didn't take long for the Warner brothers to respond.
"Hello Nurse!" they whooped.
"Hello Nurse!" Buster said with them. He looked next to him to see Dot and Babs glaring at him. "What? Can't I join in on the fun?"
"Oooh, then again…" Ed muttered at the sight of the curvy blond nurse approaching them. He was only other person on the studio whose lust for Nurse rivaled that of Wakko's and Yakko's. He quickly placed the troll head back on him and laid out on the ground. He even let out a tiny moan for effect.
Nurse knelt down over him with a first aid kit in hand. "What happened here?"
"Ohh, those three Warners got carried away with their antics." Ed wailed in his troll voice, hoping she wouldn't recognize him. Even though he was already in pain, he added a cough for extra measure. "Oh, thank you getting me in my time of need"
Ed gave a brief side eye to the Warners and Tiny Toons giggling at him.
"Pathetic..." Babs and Buster groaned. Nurse did not look the least bit convinced as she simply rolled her eyes.
"Save it, Ed." She answered coldly. "It's part of my duty to the Hippocratic oath to help anyone in need, Even if that person is a perverted drum banger"
Ed let an out a long exasperated groan. She was never going to let him live that incident from 'Piano Rag' down.
"I told you that wasn't me!" he said in his regular voice. Nurse ignored his plea as she looked him over.
"You don't seem to hurt too badly. You might need some chiropractic therapy and you'll be set."
Ed smiled. "Oh good! You look like you have gentle hands; uh I mean you look like you know what you're doing."
"Reeling her in huh, Casanova?" Yakko interjected.
"Piss off, Rudolph" he muttered.
"Oh no, no. I won't be doing that, my assistant will!" Nurse replied. "Oh, assistant!" She called to her assistant who was running over to them with a stretcher in his hands; it was Ralph the security guard in a white nurse uniform. The enormous and dimwitted security guard greeted him with a tip of his hat.
"Duhh hi, Ed!" said Ralph.
A wave of dread washed over Ed's face. "Oh no!"
"Okay, this running replacement gag is getting ridiculous!" Plucky commented.
Ralph cracked his knuckles as he stood over Ed. "Times for your therapy, I finallys just learned how to do one without breaking any bones this time!"
Ed shuddered while both Ralph and Nurse lifted him onto the stretcher.
"No, no. Wait! I'm feelin better! No NO!" the cameraman screamed. The Tiny Toons and Warners watched as both Ralph and Nurse carry him away to the ambulance.
"See you in the infirmary, Ed!" Wakko called out to him with a wave.
"So Mr. Director, what's your next big project?" Yakko asked Plucky.
Plucky scoffed "Please, I'm sticking to what I know. Acting is always been my forte anyway…"
Suddenly Ralph came back by himself, holding something behind his back. Plucky narrowed his eyes at the large guard. The Warners knew all too well that Plucky didn't like Ralph. It wasn't hard to see why. Despite not being able to keep them locked in the studio walls, he had always managed to kick Plucky out the studio on various occasions.
"Aahhh, Plotz wanted me to gives this to you!" Ralph told the green duck before he pulled out and handed him a purple gift box.
Plucky arched his eye at the large guard while he gratefully took the gift. "Really? What for?"
"Duh, Mr. Plotz wanted to congradulate you on your directorial debut today."
Wakko shook his head, instantly knowing what he said didn't add up. "Wait but how could Plotz know...?"
"Well then! I guess that stout CEO changed his mind about since our last meeting today." Plucky interrupted, gushing as he loosened the ribbon on the gift box. " It's about time he recognized my directorial talents!"
"Duh, he does! He definitely does!" Ralph said with a malicious smile, one that radiated a rare glimpse of intelligence from him. He tipped his hat again before running off. "Bye!"
"What happened to not being a director, Plucky?" Buster asked. Plucky was too focused on tearing away the wrapping paper on his gift.
"Buster you should know I am jack of all trades. Master of-"
BAM!
"Alll..."
A spring loaded boxing glove burst out of the box, shooting a screaming Plucky into the air. The bunnies shook their heads with sly grins while the younger Warners looked on in bewilderment at Plucky's gullibility.
"You know, how come Ralph never gets the upper hand with us three like that?" Wakko asked his siblings.
"Well, It's not that Ralph is that smart..." Yakko answered.
"...It's just that Plucky is that dumb." Buster finished his sentence.
"I heard thaaaaat...!" Plucky's voice trailed off hundreds of feet above them.
"You know this short turned out to be a lot less boring than we thought," Yakko stated. "Isn't that right Mike? Mike?"
When he didn't get an answer, he turned around to see that the director in question was lying down on the field fast asleep. Dot grabbed the picnic blanket the bunnies used and wrapped it around him. Wakko removed the empty coffee cup from his hands.
"Awwww..." Dot and Babs exclaimed.
"I told him that brew of coffee would only give him enough energy for just an hour." Wakko said aloud. "Should I get another one?"
Yakko smiled. "Nah, let him rest, he'll need the energy when he works with us again tomorrow"
The short "Take My Siblings, Please" debuted several months later on September 1994 as the show's season two premiere. Mike was incredibly pleased with how well the final short, especially considering how he was half asleep through the whole thing. Plus, he heard how filming the short was nearly a disaster according to the other crew members. That and the editing crew had a lot more footage than usual to sort through. There were quite a handful of takes Plucky did that went on far longer than Mike would have personally allowed. But even with the unscripted moments, mishaps, and rewrites, the short managed to turn out far better than what the original script allowed.
While the Warners don't consider this episode to be one of their best, it was probably one of the most fun to work not only becasue they had less supervision than usual, but also that they able to take a typical paint by numbers fable, and turn it on its head.
Only person who wasn't happy with the final short was Plucky. It wasn't that he didn't think it was good, but he quickly regretted having his name removed from the credits.
And as for Ed, he didn't care too much about it. He recovered just fine from Yakko's mallet injury. He was thankful to know no one outside the Warners and company, knew the real identity of the troll. That make up and prosthetics definitely did wonders. This was the second time he'd filled in for an actor; King Yakko was the first. Ed had to admit, the Warners and the green duck helped salvage on what could have been a bad short. He supposed if nothing worse came from it, it would look good on his resume. One thing was very certain, he'd think twice before trying to volunteer for something he'd have no interest in participating in ever again.
If you guys made it to the end of this installment of the story, congratulations! These chapters were little different in which I wanted to feature some of the Tiny Toons in this episode. Hopefully I got them in character for the most part. I had been meaning to return to this story for the longest time, and with the reboot currently out right now, I felt it was a great time to do it. As for the reboot itself, I'm currently binging the first season on Hulu right now! I am pleasantly surprised at how much I am enjoying this! While I can't say its 100% perfect, it really is fantastic. Probably one of the best animated reboots I've seen in a while. Even if your not familiar with the orginal show like I am, I still reccomded checking it out if you want to watch a new animated show that has wacky, and totally insaney twist!
If I don't post something new on here for the rest of the year, I will close out with this. Hope you guys had a Happy Thanksgiving, and will have a Merry Christmas! And even you don't celebrate those particular holidays, have a Happy Holidays anyway! Feel free to check out my other stories, 'Gang of Four' and 'Warner Access TV'. And as always, Goodnight everybody!
P.S. Ralph actually started out as side character on Tiny Toons before being a regular on Animaniacs! As Buster Bunny would say: "Who knew?"