"Oh look at that! Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful, Adrien." Dr. Boucher praised. "I love bloody skin grafts."
Adrien was on his stomach, but propped up with pillows to keep the weight off of his chest. The bandages on his back were coming off permanently today.
And they would be going home.
Well, to the Agreste mansion at least.
Until things calmed down more, and the new security system was installed at the bakery.
"No sign of infection, no blackening of any skin. This is just what I hoped to see."
"It still looks awful," said Gabriel, mercilessly.
"Well, of course it does. And the stitches make it look even worse. But take a look at this!" The doctor pressed a finger against the skin graft for a moment and then pulled away. There was a white spot where he pressed, before it turned pink again. "You see? He's got a nice blood flow. That means my biggest worries with him are mostly over."
He took off more bandages lower down, revealing his buttocks and thighs. "However, the graft came from the groin area. The donor site is looking good too, but the skin is still raw and tender. Walking will be painful for a few weeks still." Carefully, he rolled Adrien's thigh to reveal the yellowish gauze on the inside of his legs. It just looked like a really bad rug burn underneath.
"Sitting might also be unpleasant, given the stretching to the stitches from your lower back to your calves. If you are able to prop up your legs, that should help."
Adrien grunted in confirmation.
"Loose underwear and pants. The more breathable the better. You may shower, but nothing is to be submerged in water. If the xeroform gauze gets wet, blot it dry gently, and use a hair dryer at the lowest setting. You might have to do that a few times a day. As the skin heals, the xeroform will pull off. Just trim it off with scissors. It should be about another two weeks before it pulls all the way off. Your arm stays in the sling for two more weeks, but you can use it as need be. Just be careful. Continue to clean your ears with saline until all of the piercings are healed, then you can take out the earrings. Take all medicine as prescribed, when designated. I've included all this information in your care packet."
"Thank you," said Gabriel.
The doctor smiled and turned to the other side of the room. "And how is Marinette feeling today?"
"She's a little sleepy today," provided Tom.
Marinette laid on her side, away from Adrien. She didn't acknowledge the doctor.
"Not excited about getting to go home in time for Christmas, sweetheart?"
"I'm ecstatic." She said dully.
"I can tell," Dr. Boucher chuckled. "Did you hear what I told Adrien?"
"Hmm-mm."
"Showers are fine, but don't submerge any wounds. Mr. Agreste said that your shower has been fitted with a bench so won't risk standing in water."
"Cool."
"Take all medicine as prescribed and when designated."
"Got it."
"Would you please look me in the eye and say that again?"
Marinette turned to face him, and said calmly. "Yes Dr. Boucher, I will take my medicine exactly as prescribed and at the right times."
"Excellent." The man smiled. "I'm not trying to patronize you, I just wanted you to remember."
"I know."
"Good. Now, if anything happens after you leave, you trip and fall, some other symptom pops up, etc. call me, and I'll come right over. No need to tough things out. We want a nice, smooth recovery."
"Yeah, sure."
"Alright! Let's get you dressed and checked out!"
—
Tom, Gabriel, and the Gorilla accompanied them down to the lobby. Sabine has stayed back at the mansion, preparing for their return. Marinette and Adrien were both put in wheelchairs, as they were both still too weak to make the trip.
As soon as they got off the elevator, applause began as staff and patients alike lined the hall and cheered them on.
Marinette sunk farther into her chair. "Why are they all here?" She asked her father.
"Because they love you, and they're happy to see that you're alright."
"How could they love me?"
"Darling, you're Ladybug."
"That doesn't make up for what happened. Just one unforgivable deed can ruin the public's opinion of a person. Why would I get any special treatment?"
Tom sighed. "You'll understand eventually."
Eventually, they ended up at check out. Marinette paid little attention to what was being said. They talked billing and insurance, future appointments for suture removal and check ups. Boring stuff.
Adrien was by her side, about a foot away, and he rested his arm out, palm up for her to take.
She pretended not to see it.
Then soon enough, they were moving again, the Gorilla hurrying on ahead to pull up the car.
"Adrien should sit in the front," said Marinette. "So he has more leg room."
Adrien whined in protest, but Gabriel ignored him. "I think that's a good idea."
Before they even went outside, however, they could already hear the crowd waiting for them.
"Shit," Gabriel muttered under his breath. "The media has been patrolling the entrance, but it looks like someone found out today was discharge day."
"Don't these people have anything better to do? Tomorrow is Christmas Eve for crying out loud." Grumbled Tom.
Marinette pulled the hood of her sweatshirt up, and pulled the cords taut. Adrien noticed, and mimicked the action. The police stood nearby, ready to keep back the crowds.
The cold December air burst over them in a flurry, blowing right through them, as the voices shouted and cried out for attention. Mostly demanding and questioning, but some with anger.
"Ladybug! Chat Noir!"
"What are you going to do now?"
"Will you ever get back to superhero work?"
"Is it true that you're both married officially?"
"Will you be passing on the Miraculous?!"
"Adrien, over here!"
"Murderers!"
"Have you heard anything from Hawkmoth?"
"Are you in league with Hawkmoth now?"
"Monsters!"
Marinette kept her head down as her father helped her into the car. She was placed in the middle seat, as Gabriel sat on her left. The Gorilla helped Adrien into the front, and placed the wheelchairs in the trunk.
Like the red sea, the reporters parted from the front of the car, but didn't relent in their questions.
"How bad are your injuries?"
"Where are the other Miraculous users?"
"How could you betray us!?"
"What are you going to do with the money from the concert?"
The moment everyone was buckled and settled, the Gorilla peeled out of the drive and sped away to the mansion.
"Jesus Christ. I didn't think it'd be that bad."
"Must be a slow news day everywhere else."
Tom pulled Marinette against him. "It's okay, Marinette. It won't take long before this all calms down."
"Yeah, like in a few decades." She muttered.
The ride was mostly silent, as Tom tried to introduce small talk. But between two people that didn't talk, and two people not willing to talk, it was more awkward than not.
Soon they reached the mansion, and even more media awaited them.
Marinette covered her ears to ignore it.
The Gorilla pulled right up to the steps, the gate locking the unwanted guests out.
"I want to walk up the steps on my own." Marinette demanded.
"Alright, I'll be right there to catch you," said her father, helping her out.
The Gorilla lifted Adrien out of his seat, and carried him up the stairs.
Each step hurt, despite having shoes and socks on. She leaned on the rail, while her father's hand steadied her back. It was slow, but she was doing it on her own.
The doors to the mansion opened, and immediately they were warmed. Not just by the heat, but by the lights, the glitter, and bright colors.
Now it felt like Christmas. Garland strung across the banisters, little hints of Christmas scattered over end tables and furniture, and a tree, bare and surrounded by boxes of decorations.
It felt like a home.
Marinette let out a little hum at the sight. Her parents must have run home to collect their own decorations to make it feel like their home.
"Pretty," she said with a little smile.
"Oh I'm so glad you like it!" Alya stood from where she was checking lights. "I had no idea if you were going to be up for Christmas, but I figured you wouldn't at least mind the decorations."
"Looks very nice," she stated again. "I'll enjoy it more in a bit. I really just want to take a shower."
"Fair enough!"
Adrien whined.
"Stay down here," she demanded, without looking at him. "It doesn't make any sense for you to wait for me upstairs when I'm coming right back down."
He whined again, but it sounded more like he was relenting.
The Gorilla deposited him gently on a chair near the tree as Marinette once again, independently climbed the stairs.
Alya rested a hand on Adrien's knee. "What do you think, Sunshine? Festive enough?"
He shrugged.
"Eh," Nino winced. "Adrien's not really...big on Christmas."
"My wife is obsessed with Christmas," explained Gabriel. "Since she...disappeared, it's been hard. A lot of memories."
Adrien shifted uncomfortably.
"Then we'll all make some new ones together." Said Sabine, resting a hand on his head. "Then we'll honor the ones you have, and it might not sting as much."
Adrien didn't look thrilled at the idea, but he was hard to read. He shuffled his feet, and pulled at the legs of his pants.
He didn't really seem to be listening.
So they let him be, and got back to decorating.
—
When Marinette reached Adrien's room, she sauntered over to the bed and sat down on the mattress.
"Great job!" Praised Tikki. "That was a lot of stairs! And you did it all by yourself!"
"Stupid thing to be happy about," she frowned. "I'm strong enough, my feet just hurt."
"You've got to celebrate the little things." Tikki flitted over to Marinette's suitcase behind the couch. "Otherwise you'll get discouraged."
"Yeah, whatever."
Tikki wasn't bothered by the reaction, and only picked out some clothes and moved them into the bathroom.
Adrien's room had also been decorated for Christmas. There was a garland stretched across the railing to the second story. Another undecorated Christmas tree stood in the corner of the room by the windows. The bed was made, with fresh sheets and a festive blanket on the foot of the mattress. By the pillows sat the little Ladybug and Chat Noir plushies.
Marinette grit her teeth as she leaned forward to untie her shoes. It wasn't enough to pull her stitches on her back, but it did sting.
"Do you need help?" Tikki asked after watching her struggle.
"No." She finished untying her laces, and then started to pull them off.
The worst of the cuts on her feet were on the ball of her foot, right by her big toe, and it hurt the whole time she slid out of her shoe.
She still had to take her socks off, but she was exhausted.
Tikki seemed to pick up on it and pulled her socks off for her, pulling gently to not catch on the stitches.
"Thank you, Tikki."
"Of course Marinette. Please don't feel ashamed to ask for help. I want you to get better."
Marinette didn't argue, but she didn't agree. Slowly, she stood and sauntered her way to the bathroom.
The tile was cool on the irritated skin. She shucked off her sweatpants and sweatshirt, then her shirt and underwear.
Then she sat on the toilet, feeling tired again before she could reach the shower.
"Here's your hairbrush." Tikki added, dropping it on the counter.
"Thanks."
"Would you like me to stay in here? Or wait outside?"
"Wait outside." Then as an afterthought, she added, "please."
"I understand. You want your privacy. Well, if you need me, I'll be out in Adrien's room." And she shut the door behind her.
Gathering her strength, Marinette sauntered over to the shower and turned it on. It didn't take long at all for it to warm up, and she slid onto the bench, sitting sideways in the stream of water.
Words couldn't describe the comfort clean, warm water gave her as it rushed over her body. She scrubbed the shampoo into her hair and let the suds slide down her skin. The luxurious fragrance of expensive soap filled her nostrils, hiding the stench of infection and body odor. The dirt and grime that had persisted even after the sponge baths, were disappearing down the drain, leaving nothing but smooth, clean skin.
She used a washcloth to scrub at the bloodstains, rubbing her skin raw. Maybe if she rubbed hard enough, she could wash all the bad memories away. Wouldn't that be wonderful?
After her hair was shampooed and conditioned, and her skin was raw from her frantic scrubbing, she just sat on the bench, letting the water beat on her. Clear her head of thoughts, good and bad.
And just exist.
Like that night in the rain.
She had leaned on Chat's—Grimalkin's chest then. He wrapped his arm around her, and kissed her forehead tenderly, like they hadn't just murdered 14 people.
A moment in the rain with Adrien.
How different things had become.
Before, she loved the rain. It reminded her of falling in love. Of misunderstandings turned to forgiveness, and friendships starting in the most sincere and innocent of ways. But now the rain tasted bitter. It was cold on her skin and made her hair hang flat to her head.
There was no umbrella, no laughter, no fireworks.
And even the boy she shared the moment with became a blur.
When living your last moments, it's easy to say 'I love you'. There's no fear, no considering, no sorting out your feelings. Just the desire for comfort and to lean on someone, and to let your feelings known without regrets.
She loved Adrien, she knew that in her head. And she had moments with Chat Noir where her heart would beat faster and she'd feel at home.
But the twisted version of her boy was so foreign to her. They had both come out of torture as different people, that was obvious. But the month she was separated from him, something changed in his mind. It cracked. Or maybe it was the flogging, or even the akumatization.
Somewhere, the sunshine goofball she treasured was swallowed, and a blank slate was left behind.
Adrien and Chat Noir still never melded together for her. They hadn't gotten to develop that gap organically. It was just a constant fight for their lives with no development.
It was her and him together, and that's all it was. All it needed to be.
So what was different now? Why was everything so complicated?
Finally, she turned the water to cold, letting herself be pelted to numbness before she turned it off completely.
She stood, stepping out of the shower to get a towel.
But the marble floor was slick and her feet flew out from under her. She immediately fell on the ground, landing hard on her back and bumping her head on the lip of the shower.
It wasn't enough to knock her out, but it did send searing pain up through the wounds in her back.
Honestly, it would have hurt even if she didn't just get out of the hospital.
She didn't cry out in pain though. She took the impact with as much grace as she could, only a rough grunt coming from her lips.
Now to get up.
She could do that, right? She just needed to sit up.
Sit up.
Sit.
Oh she was exhausted. Her head throbbed as she fought off nausea.
"Tikki?" She called weakly.
"Did you call me, Marinette?" Tikki asked from outside.
"Yeah...I...I fell. And I can't...I can't get up."
Tikki was silent on the other side. Marinette hoped she had rushed to get help, and hadn't shrugged her off.
Just a few minutes.
Just a few…
—
Tikki swooped into the main room where everyone was still decorating. "Marinette fell!" She cried.
Immediately, everyone abandoned their decorations and raced up the stairs, leaving Adrien alone on the couch.
Tom, Sabine, and Alya burst into the bathroom, while Nino and Gabriel waited just outside, giving her privacy, but also waiting to help where they could.
Marinette looked up at the sudden entrance. "It's not as bad as it looks."
"Oh baby..." Sabine cooed, bending over her. "What hurts? Where did you land?"
"I landed on my back, and I bumped my head."
"I'll get an ice pack!" Gabriel called before leaving the room.
"Do we need to call the doctor?" Asked Tom.
"No, no don't. I just...need some help getting up. I'm...weaker than I thought."
"How's your spine? Does anything feel wrong?"
"No, just my stitches."
"Okay, I just didn't want to move you if you hurt your spine." Tom took hold of her arm and pulled her up to sit. Then he scooped her up and moved her to sit on the toilet.
Alya draped a towel over her legs.
Sabine scooted behind her, touching her back. "I'm not seeing any bleeding, so I don't think you tore anything."
"Girl, talk to us." Alya demanded. "I see tears. What hurts?"
"It all hurts," she confessed with a whisper. "But I feel so stupid for falling..."
Sabine took her hairbrush and started to comb out her hair. "Darling, no. You don't need to worry about that. Accidents happen."
"Dr. Boucher told me to be careful. But I just wanted to shower on my own..."
"Marinette," her mother squeezed her hand. "We do not fault you for wanting to be independent or wanting privacy. You deserve it, you have the right to ask for it. This was simply an accident, and it's not as bad as it could be."
"I'll call the doctor," said Tom. "I don't think he needs to come, but it would be smart to get his recommendation."
"Sorry..."
"No apologies necessary, honey." Tom kissed her temple, and left the room.
"Let's get you dressed, Hmm?"
"Yeah."
Only a few minutes later, Marinette emerged from the bathroom, clean and dry, dressed in fresh clothes. Sabine helped her to sit on the bed.
Gabriel handed her a bag of frozen peas for her head, and Nino gave her a glass of water with some ibuprofen.
"Dr. Boucher says he's not too worried about it since she's not bleeding or unconscious. He said there might be some extra soreness, but to call again if something feels sprained."
"I'm sorry..." Marinette looked down to her toes.
"Really girl, stop apologizing." Alya chastised. "We felt so helpless for so long, please let us help you now."
Marinette looked up to her shyly, and prepared to answer, but before she could, a low whine came from the door.
Everyone collectively turned to look, only to find Adrien sitting at the door frame.
"Adrien? How did you get up here?" Gabriel asked, dreading the answer.
Adrien leaned forward to his hands and knees and started to shuffle slowly into the room.
"Nope!" Tom rushed to him and lifted him off the floor. He carried him over to the couch and set him down.
"What do you think you're doing?!" Gabriel reprimanded. "Why didn't you just stay downstairs?"
Adrien flinched, curling up on himself at the shout.
Tom petted his head. "I'm sorry we left you down there alone. We won't do it again."
As soon as Adrien was on the couch, he was twisting to turn around to look at Marinette. He whined again.
Marinette didn't look at him.
"She's alright," Sabine cooed. "Just bumped her head."
His eyes never left her, as he just stared with an unreadable expression.
"Did you want to take a shower too, dude?" Asked Nino.
But Adrien didn't answer. It didn't seem like he had heard him.
"Adrien," Gabriel stepped right in front of him and caught his eyes. "Do you want to take a shower?"
Adrien tried to look around him, back at Marinette, but she wasn't looking at him. Not cuing him, not saying anything to him.
He didn't know what to do.
"Adrien." Gabriel pressed a little firmer. "Yes or no?"
Why was a simple yes or no so hard? He didn't know! He didn't know!
The decision was taken away as Tom scooped him up. "Let's get you cleaned up. Maybe you'll feel better afterwards."
As he was being taken away, he kept twisting to get a peek at Marinette.
She never met his eyes.
Once he was in the bathroom, Sabine helped Marinette over to the couch. "Here dear, just relax. We'll put a movie on for you both, and we'll decorate the tree! Won't that be nice?"
"Hm." She hummed noncommittally.
"You know, you have a lot of people that want to see you. So for Christmas Eve tomorrow, we're thinking about having a big dinner. With the Cesaire's, and Grandma and Grandpa, Chloe, and Jagged Stone and Penny! Won't that be fun?"
"Yeah." She said flatly.
"If you'd rather not, they'd completely understand."
"It's fine."
"Are you sure? I can call it off too. No pressure sweetie."
"Yeah, mom I said it's fine!" She barked, "If I didn't want to see them, I would have said no!"
"Okay," Sabine said patiently. "I just want you to be in control, but I also want you to have fun."
Marinette sighed. Then she leaned over the back of the couch and looked in her bag. Not finding what she was looking for, she asked, more politely, "maman? Did you pack my favorite blanket? The gray and red plaid one?"
"I packed your bag," Alya clarified. "And no, I didn't. Sorry girl. I can go grab it for you, though! Anything else you want me to get?"
"Can you also grab my cat pillow?"
"Sure thing!"
"Wait a second, Alya, have Tom go with you."
Marinette waited, sitting on the couch and looking out to the city. It was a gray, bleak sky, and even the buildings looked desaturated. While the twinkling of the lights in her peripheral vision showed a warm environment, the landscape in front of her reminded her of just how cold and unforgiving the world was. And how cold it would continue to be in the coming weeks. Perhaps even for the rest of her life.
Alya plopped down on the couch next to her. "So what do you want to watch? Hallmark's got some really great ones this year. And by great, I mean terrible. We can play your favorite game: car accident or cancer?"
"I don't want to watch a Hallmark movie. Too fake. Too predictable."
"Alright, you want a classic one then? Something you've seen a hundred times before?"
"Yeah…yeah I think that's what I want."
"Okay." Alya dashed up to Adrien's movie collection. "God, he's got like every movie ever made up here! Umm…oh, this will work!" She grabbed the case and rushed down the stairs. "I know you like this one!" And she popped it in the player.
A black and white film. A sleepy scenic town, covered in a layer of fresh snow. The voices of various people called up to prayer.
And then a sea of stars, where two stars flickered in conversation.
It's a Wonderful Life.
It wasn't Christmas without it. She'd seen it a hundred times, her heart hurting until the end.
It was hitting differently this year.
Eventually, Adrien was brought out, fresh and clean. His hair damp and combed back. With Tom holding his hand, he tottered his way to the couch to sit next to Marinette.
"Tom?" Asked Sabine, "Alya was going to run to the bakery to get some stuff for Marinette. Will you go with her?"
"Of course!"
"Would you like to take the car?" Asked Gabriel.
"No, I think a walk will do just fine."
"Buffalo Gals can't you come out tonight. Can't you come out tonight. Can't you come out tonight. Buffalo Gals can't you come out tonight and dance by the light of the moon."
Marinette had noticed when Adrien sat next to her. He still sat just out of reach. One scoot and she'd be pressed against him.
But she didn't move. And neither did he.
"Okay, then, I'll throw a rock at the old Granville house."
"Oh, no, don't. I love that old house."
An old house indeed. It was a weather-beaten, old-fashioned two-storied house that once was no doubt resplendent.
"No. You see, you make a wish and then try and break some glass. You got to be a pretty good shot nowadays, too."
"Oh, no, George, don't. It's full of romance, that old place. I'd like to live in it."
"In that place?"
"Uh-huh."
"I wouldn't live in it as a ghost. Now watch...right on the second floor there." He hurled a stone at the window and broke it. An old man sitting on his porch sat up at attention.
"What'd you wish, George?"
"Well, not just one wish. A whole hatful, Mary. I know what I'm going to do tomorrow and the next day and the next year and the year after that. I'm shaking the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm going to see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then I'm coming back here and go to college and see what they know...and then I'm going to build things. I'm gonna build air fields. I'm gonna build skyscrapers a hundred stories high. I'm gonna build bridges a mile long…"
As he talked, Mary had been listening intently. She finally stooped down and picked up a rock, weighting it in her hand.
"Are you gonna throw a rock?"
Mary threw her rock, and once more the sound of breaking glass echoed over the empty street.
"Hey, that's pretty good. What'd you wish, Mary?"
She threw him a flirty smile. "Buffalo Gals, can't you come out tonight…"
Alya and Tom returned from their trip, and set the pillow on the bed. Alya dropped the blanket over Marinette and Adrien both, then settled on the couch next to Adrien.
"Scooch!" Nino demanded, as he wiggled into the seat next to Alya. Alya then bumped into Adrien, who slid over to be closer to Marinette.
Their legs pressed together.
She didn't acknowledge it, or the little whimper Adrien made.
On the screen, George Bailey entered the old, run down house they had broken the windows to. It was run down, water dripping from the ceiling, and the wind was blowing the drapes around as the rain poured outside. But a huge fire burned in the fireplace. Near the fireplace, a collection of packing boxes were heaped together in the shape of a small table and covered with a checkered oilcloth, set for two. A bucket with ice and a champagne bottle sat on the table as well as a bowl of caviar. Two small chickens roasted on a spit over the fire. A phonograph played on a box, a string from the phonograph turning the chickens on the spit. A Hawaiian song played on the record. Mary stood near the fireplace looking as pretty as any bride ever looked. She smiled at George, who had been slowly taking in the whole set-up. Through a door, there was the end of a cheap bed, over the back of which is a pair of pajamas and a nightie.
"Welcome home, Mr. Bailey."
"Well, I'll be...Mary, Mary, where did you…"
Ernie, the taxi driver, shoved George forward into Mary's arms.
The record ended, and Bert and Ernie sang from outside.
I love you truly, truly dear,
Life with it's sorrow, life with it's tear,
Fades into dreams when I feel you are near,
For I love you truly,
Truly dear!
Ah, love 'tis something, to feel your kind hand,
Ah yes, 'tis something, by your side to stand,
Gone is the sorrow, gone doubt and fear,
For you love me truly,
Truly dear!
A searing pain overtook Marinette's hand. The pain of a burn, searing flesh and nerves to a blacked char. She looked down, her clenched fingers unfurling.
Chat Noir.
That was engraved into her palm, the scar still very angry and red. The new skin began to show through, a pale white.
Then, by the power invested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.
It was the voice of the officiant echoing in her head, some of his last words before he was shot and killed. The man that had married her to Adrien.
She could feel the paint on her face, the itchy tutu on her legs, and the absolute humiliation of that mockery of a wedding. The drunken singing, the groping, the lifeless eyes of a corpse on the ground.
In that case, let's get a sailboat. Sail the world. At night, we'll be just a silhouette surrounded by a myriad of stars. Spend our nights on the glassy water, where you can't tell where the sky begins and ends. Just the two of us, free to go wherever we want.
That was Adrien's voice, when it still sounded like him. The last time she heard him speak.
When we're out of here, we'll have our perfect wedding. And then we'll go, and never look back.
"Marinette?" Alya asked.
Marinette just shook her head, and covered her face. She brought her legs up and curled up into the corner of the couch as far as she could.
Mary spoke on the screen. "Remember the night we broke the windows in this old house? This is what I wished for."
—
Day number...who even knew anymore. The dark and the silence made time go on forever.
But the cement was not quite as cold, the ache in her knees not so strong, and she could hear traffic.
This is a dream, she told herself. Just a nightmare.
Just like every night.
The door to her little cage opened, and there stood Ladybug. Her arms were crossed and she looked supremely disappointed.
"Well?" She asked.
"Well what? You're the one with the powers here."
Ladybug scoffed, not moving from the doorframe. "Don't act dumb. I've had it with your attitude."
"You aren't real," Said Marinette. "And my attitude? You mean my trauma? My anxiety? My paranoia? You mean the fact that I don't know who I can trust anymore? You mean the supreme weight of being closed in silence for a month? Is that what you're sick of, Ladybug? My unheroic disposition? My unladylike mannerisms?"
Ladybug looked at her unflinching. "No. That's not what I'm talking about at all. And you know it."
Marinette turned away. "I really wish it was."
"Because you have an excuse for it?"
"And a logical explanation."
"I don't think violent torture is logical."
"No. No it's not." Marinette scoffed. "Look, do you have a reason for bothering me? Or did you just come here to taunt me? O ghost of Christmas past?"
"You know why I'm here."
"No, I really don't. This is a dream right? Dreams don't make sense. They say dreams have hidden meanings, but I really doubt reliving every torment I dealt with in the past month is anything but trauma."
Ladybug snapped her fingers, and in an instant, they were in Adrien's room. Marinette was on the couch, where she had elected to sleep, despite the insistence against it from everyone else.
She didn't look, but she knew Adrien was in his bed.
"You're acting weird around Adrien again." Ladybug stated coldly. "Why?"
"I don't know." She shrugged.
"You don't know? Really? After all you've been through together, now you're avoiding him?"
"I'm not avoiding him!"
"You haven't said a word to him since he fought his way to you in the hospital!"
"He can't speak! It wouldn't be fair!"
"You won't even look at him!"
"That's not true!"
"Look at him right now!"
"I—I can't!"
"You can't? Or you won't?"
Marinette trembled. "I can't...I can't bear it..."
"Bear what, Marinette?"
It took awhile for her to have an answer.
"I…I don't know him." She confessed.
Ladybug didn't answer, only looked down at her, waiting.
"I don't know if I ever knew him. How could I, if Chat and Adrien never felt like the same person? And now…this—" She cut herself off. "I'm horrible. I'm cruel. And I'm unfair. I'm not the Marinette I used to be, so why would he be different? Shouldn't I just…love him regardless?"
Ladybug sat daintily next to her. "You know love isn't easy. People change, and so must your love. But it's not going to if you don't communicate with him."
"He can't talk."
"He can listen. And he can see. And he's aware of every time you push him away. And he has no idea why you are. But, knowing him, he's probably thinking the worst."
Marinette turned to look at him. He curled up in his bed, looking far too small for the king sized mattress.
He looked restless and tense.
"You don't have to have all the answers right now. But don't push away the person who understands your pain the most. Now wake up!"
Marinette jolted awake, still on the couch. This time for real. She blinked a few times, noticing that it was snowing outside. The lights from the garden shined up to illuminate the flakes.
Then, she noticed the blond head by her elbows. He was sitting on the floor, resting against the couch and watching the snowfall.
"Adrien?" She whispered, ever so gently.
He turned his head, looking at her with wide green eyes, full of panic. He had been caught.
"Can't sleep?" She asked again, still gently.
He shook his head, no.
She sat up, making room for him. "Would you like to sit up here? It'll be more comfortable."
He took her invitation and climbed onto the couch.
Marinette took note of his posture, tense, closed off, unsure as he continued to watch the snow fall.
"I'm sorry." She breathed.
He glanced at her again, his eyebrows furrowing.
"I…this is going to sound so stupid, but…now that we're not in mortal peril anymore, I've been thinking…"
Tears gathered in his eyes as he started to scoot farther away from her.
"No, wait, Adrien…ugh." She grimaced and shook her head. "Look, Chat Noir and Adrien were always so different from each other. I told you I loved you, and I do, and I didn't lie. But…if the reveal had happened naturally, I would have wanted more time."
He looked less upset now, and more just curious as he cocked his head.
"Time to reconcile the two versions of you into one. But the person you are now is even more different…I'm just confused. And I still feel…really guilty about getting us into this position in the first place." Tears started to sting at her own eyes before she shut them tight to will them away. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, Kitty."
A hand fell on her shoulder. Sure, and strong as he gave her a little squeeze.
"Hey, no sweat Marinette." She could almost hear his voice.
His hand trailed down her arm to take her hand, before he gave it a little squeeze and brought it to his lips to kiss.
"There's nothing to forgive, my lady."
When she opened her eyes, she let out a shuddering sigh at the look on his face. One of adoration and trust. That slight smile, and eyes that sparkled with warmth.
Adrien.
The boy she loved. Her partner.
The line was blurred, but not completely gone. But things already felt better.
He let go of her hand and held out his arm, asking for a hug.
She fell into him, letting his warmth seep into her soul. He smelled like Adrien used to smell, and had a quiet purr that Chat always had.
"I love you," she whispered. "I really love you."
He squeezed her tighter and kissed her head.
They stayed like that for a while, until Adrien yawned.
"Let's get back to bed, huh?"
He gestured to his bed.
"Yeah, I'll join you."
He beamed.
Slowly, they both shuffled to the bed, and dropped onto it. Marinette spread her blanket over both of them and snuggled down to rest. The bed really was more comfortable than the couch.
Adrien hooked his ankles with hers, and reached out to take her hand.
She just scooted closer and wrapped an arm around his waist. Then she left a peck on his lips. "Needy kitty."
He nuzzled against her head, lulling her back to sleep with his purrs.