Garnet was walking along the bottom of the ocean, searching for any signs of Lapis and/or Jasper—or at the very least, their fusion. However, no signs were in sight, and so the emotions in her mind were getting restless.
"Seriously, were are they?" Anger R grumbled. "The ocean's not that big."
"I'm pretty sure the ocean is, indeed, that big," Disgust S noted. "But I concur; this is taking much longer than expected."
"And with so many possibilities of where they might be, future vision is pretty much useless," Fear S added.
"But we can't give up," Fear R said. "A volatile fusion like that—it could be dangerous if left unchecked."
"Plus, Steven's worried about Lapis," Sadness R said. "Even if she's the primary one holding the fusion together, doing so is bound to be a mentally taxing experience. They need to be separated from each other so we can contain them in a more manageable way."
"True; but we can't spend all our time searching," Sadness S said. "Not even Garnet can sustain that level of energy for so long. Besides, if one of our reasons for rescuing Lapis is to placate Steven, it doesn't make sense to abandon him entirely. We have to return periodically to rest and to assure Steven that an effort is being made."
All the emotions agreed that this made sense; so Garnet returned to the shore. When she emerged, Steven and Connie were on the beach. The mailman—Garnet never received any mail, so she didn't know his name—was with them.
"Ah, there's Steven and his friend," Joy R said. "And another human I know nothing about."
"It's funny," Joy S said. "One would think we just wasted half a day wandering the sea and producing no results, but I take one look at Steven being happy and I don't care."
"Howdy," Garnet said.
"Watcha up to, Garnet?" Steven asked.
"I was just at the bottom of the ocean checking for signs of Lapis and Jasper."
"Any luck?"
"Nope!" Garnet said happily.
"Wow," the mailman said. "How are you able to swim to the bottom of the ocean?"
Joy R laughed. "That's easy," she said. "Garnet's a really good swimmer."
"We'd better dry off and get back inside," Disgust S said.
So they did so.
Garnet was just about to head out and search the ocean floor again when Steven and Connie rushed in.
"Garnet!" Steven yelled. "The most unbelievable thing just happened! You'll absolutely die of shock!"
Disgust R sighed. "I know Steven's the basis for one of our Islands of Personality and all, but occasionally, he can be annoying."
"Right," Disgust S added. "And I truly doubt that his baseline for how implausible something is would be very well-developed."
"Garnet's busy right now anyway," Anger R said.
"But you got a letter!" Steven said.
"A letter?" Fear S said in surprise. "But Garnet never gets letters."
"Not even junk mail," Sadness R noted.
"Read it," Garnet instructed.
So Steven read it; the letter, in rather flowery language, was from Jamie—evidently the name of the mailman—expressing his admiration for Garnet and inviting her to a meal at the Crab Shack.
"I think Jamie is asking you out," Connie said. "On a date!"
The emotions in Garnet's mind looked at each other.
"Well, that's not gonna happen," Disgust S said.
"Yeah, maintaining a romantic attachment to what is essentially yourself is pretty exhausting already," Joy S said. "There's no room for a third party. No offense."
"Why are you apologizing?" Joy R said. "I'm also responsible for maintaining that attachment."
Joy S shrugged. "It just seemed like the thing to say."
"But guys!" Connie said. "Jamie put so much thought into this letter. It would be rude not to reply!"
"Who cares if we're rude or not?" Disgust R said. "We're not going out with him either way."
"Well, it seems the children feel that a more diplomatic approach would be best," Sadness S said.
Anger R grumbled. "Okay, we'll write back. But we're not going to sugarcoat it any."
Garnet dictated her response to Connie: "No. The end, forever. And even after that. Yours truly, Garnet."
"At least it's honest and to the point," Connie said.
"Well," said Joy S, "now that that's taken care of, we can get back to fusion-hunting."
That night, Garnet had retired back into the temple. In her mind, she was formulating the best way to approach her search.
"If we warped to Mask Island, we could widen our range to more southern regions, Joy R said. "Plus, we could look at pretty reefs along the way."
"But Lapis would most likely want to trap Jasper in the depths of the ocean, rather than the shallows," Fear S said. "So if we jumped off the warp hub platform—"
"Except it's been long enough that Lapis's individual personality may have disappeared already," Fear R interrupted. "Or she might have lost her control and so they defused."
"So basically, all options are equally futile," Disgust S snarked.
"Hold up," Sadness S said, glancing at the future vision readouts. "I'm getting a sense of something significant happening in the beach house. We'd better go check on Steven."
Doing so, Garnet discovered he was on the porch, talking to Jamie, who was standing out in the rain.
"What's he doing here?" Disgust R wondered. "Didn't the letter we write make it clear Garnet wasn't interested?"
"Garnet! You've come!" Jamie said. "You can tell Steven about all the beautiful things you wrote to me in your missive." He produced a letter—one that was different from what Garnet had dictated.
"What?" Fear S cried. "We didn't write that!"
"But it's all right here," Jamie said, "stained with tears of joy, and now also rain."
"Connie and I wrote that letter, Jamie," Steven blurted.
Anger S facepalmed. "Of course they did."
Sadness S groaned. "Oh, Steven. You mean so well, but a lot of the time, you're simply too nice."
"All right," Anger R said. "It's time to inform this guy that we are in NO way interested! Direct and straight, no beating around the bush—like we tried to do in the first place!"
"I am not, nor will I ever be interested," Garnet stated firmly. "Go away!"
Jamie did so, running away crying.
Joy R shrugged. "He'll get over it."
The next day, Garnet was once again combing the bottom of the sea. She still didn't find Jasper and Lapis, but she did find a corrupted Gem creature with a gelatinous body that clung to her. She tried to poof it, but its density was such that her blows had no effect but instead went right through it.
"Okay, this thing's kind of annoying," Disgust S said.
"Maybe it'll be easier on land?" Fear R suggested.
So, with the creature on her back, Garnet leapt out of the sea and onto the beach, next to where Steven and Connie were. She slammed it on the ground and thrust her fist into it, but it still didn't retreat into its Gem.
"Why is this thing so hard to defeat?" Anger R shouted.
"Oh, let's just fling it back into the ocean," Anger S suggested. "If it's really a threat, we can deal with it then."
"Are you sure that—"
"Whatever, it's happening," Anger R said, interrupting Fear S.
Garnet tossed the creature away and turned to the children.
"They look sad," Disgust R noted.
"We should address that," Sadness R said.
"You look sad," Garnet said.
"We really messed up this time," Steven replied.
"Because of us, Jamie is feeling lower than ever!" Connie said.
"We shattered the man!"
"He'll never love again!"
Disgust S groaned. "Can't we get a break from this melodramatic mailman?"
"That's it," Anger R said. "We've got to put a stop to this once and for all. We're going to have a face-to-face conversation with that man! No more letters! No more miscommunications or well-meaning interference!"
"Right," Joy R said. "We need a way to make him feel better while getting him off our collective back."
"Why don't we just tell him we're in a relationship?" Disgust R asked. "I'm sure he'll leave Garnet alone if he knows she's unavailable."
"But that'd only help Garnet; it wouldn't help Jamie at all," Sadness S said. "The problem isn't that he wants to date Garnet; it's that he thinks he's in love with her. I'm sure there's attraction, but he doesn't actually know us. Love doesn't work like that. Ruby and Sapphire didn't truly love each other until they had been fused for a while; Rose and Greg didn't until they had talked. The best thing to do, for both of them, is to have Garnet try to dissuade Jamie from these incorrect notions about love."
"That sounds doable," Joy S said.
"I'll go talk to him," Garnet informed the kids as she headed off.
"But your words will destroy him!" Connie protested, chasing after her.
"Can't you just, like, zap his brain so he forgets any of this ever happened?"
"Huh," Disgust S said. "If we could, that would also be a viable solution…"
"No, Disgust," Sadness S said.
They found Jamie sitting on the beach, moping and lazily letting the wind carry envelopes from his hand to the sea. "Jamie," Garnet said.
"Garnet!" Jamie said in surprise.
Garnet sat down next to him. "I didn't mean to upset you."
"Then will you go out with me?"
"Seriously, dude?" Disgust R said. "Does this guy have a one-track mind or something?"
"Are humans' minds set up the same way Gems' are?" Disgust S wondered. "Because I'm wondering if his emotions are properly delegated."
"But I've loved you since the moment I saw you!" Jamie said.
"Love at first sight doesn't exist. Love takes time, and love takes work. At the very least you have to know the other person. And you literally have no idea of who, or what, I am."
"Right," Joy S remarked. "Like, with Ruby and Sapphire, they've gotten to know each other inside and out over the past millennia."
"And because of it, their love for each other continues to grow even stronger," Joy R added, giving her emotional counterpart a fistbump.
"But I bloom for you like a camellia under moonlight," Jamie said.
"Can't this man get it through his thick skull?" Anger R seethed. "Can we, like, give him a slap upside the head?"
"Settle down, R," Anger S said. "While this is getting really annoying, there's no call for violence. Yet."
"The problem is, he has a taste for the dramatic and he's cast himself in the role of the lovelorn lead," Sadness S observed.
"And he's delved so deep into his role that he's convinced even himself that it's true," Sadness R added.
"Well, if you consider that, he's a pretty good actor," Joy R said.
It seemed that Garnet had finally gotten through to Jamie. "What am I supposed to do now?" he asked.
"Start with local theater," Garnet replied, giving Jamie a friendly—though ultimately a bit too forceful—pat on the back. She then walked away.
"I think that went nicely," Joy S said. "If he still isn't over us, then, well… it's not our problem anymore."
"And now that it's done with," Fear S remarked, "we can get back to hunting for Jasper and Lapis."
The emotions groaned.