"Pardon the intrusion, Inquisitor"
Ki'da reluctantly removed himself from Dorian's comforting embrace. After they shared a dance together, they had nestled up against the balcony balustrade, observing the city below. Glancing over his shoulder, Ki'da saw Josephine standing in the threshold. Dorian looked between them and gave a slight bow before heading back into the ballroom of the Winter Palace.
"That is quite alright Josephine, was there something you wished to discuss?"
"The Empress kindly offered guest quarters to the members of the Inquisition, to which I politely declined on your behalf. Though you are no doubt exhausted, I assumed you would be eager to get back to Skyhold. My sincerest apologies if I have overstepped."
"I confess, I do find myself to be drained by the events of the day, but I agree with your judgement. The sooner we return, the sooner we can determine our next move. Corypheus certainly will not wait while we rest."
Ki'da smiled adding, "Besides, it would be cruel to force Sera and Cassandra to remain here any longer than necessary. How soon can we be ready to depart?"
"Commander Cullen anticipated that we may wish to depart tonight. He instructed the soldiers to be ready to leave at any moment. We can leave at your leisure, Inquisitor."
Ki'da took one last look at the city below; the streets of Halamshiral seemed peaceful but, much like the masks worn by the Orlesian nobles, this was no doubt a facade hiding the corruption and chaos beneath. Pulling his gaze back to the ambassador he said, "Alright, let us head back then."
The journey to Skyhold was largely uneventful. Ki'da reviewed the events of the night with his advisors and they planned their next move. They stopped at small towns along the way to rest, not that Ki'da could get much sleep. The sun was setting on their third day of travel when the mountain pass curved to reveal the exterior battlements of the fortress. As the carriage came to a halt, Leliana's voice sang through the silence.
"I expect to hear back from my scouts with Corypheus's movements within the next few days. I will send for you as soon as I hear something. For now, I suggest we all get some rest."
Ki'da simply nodded, stepped out of the carriage and headed straight for his quarters.
Ki'da was reading over a pile of outstanding letters on his desk when a gentle knock on the door broke through his thoughts.
"Who's there?" he called out.
"I have brought company and strong wine, if you would like it. I also have a non-alcoholic option, if you'd prefer."
Ki'da found himself smiling at the warm, cheery voice. He walked over and opened the door to see Dorian standing before him. Ki'da chuckled, "Ah, I see, by 'non-alcoholic wine' you meant 'grapes'"
Dorian raised a brow at Ki'da, "Have I... interrupted something?" Ki'da followed Dorian's gaze as he looked over Ki'da's dishevelled appearance. His hair was a knotted mess, his tunic partly unlaced revealing his torso and his pants loosened so that they hung low on his hips.
"Oh, I had intended to bathe, filled the tub and everything, but I guess I got distracted," he said, sheepishly glancing back at his desk. Dorian's hearty laugh rang out, "Of course, why am I not surprised? Has anyone ever told you that you work too hard? Besides me, obviously."
He did not wait for a response, simply planted a kiss on Ki'da's forehead and proceeded into his chambers, "You finish up what you were doing and I will see to the bath when you are ready. What would you do without me."
It was another half hour before Ki'da finished up with his paperwork. Dorian had made himself comfortable on Ki'da's lounge while he read the copy of 'Way of the Knight Enchanter' that Ki'da had borrowed from Vivienne. Ki'da put down his quill and stretched, before heading over to Dorian and curling up beside him. Through a yawn he said, "Sorry to keep you waiting."
Dorian wrapped his arms around Ki'da, "Yes, well I suppose I can forgive you, if you promise not to tell Vivienne that this book is actually rather fascinating."
"It is, isn't it? It is just so different to any magic I've studied before."
"That was not a promise, but I still forgive you. How about that bath then?"
Ki'da followed Dorian into the private bathing area of his chambers. With a simple flick of his fingers, warmth spread from Dorian's hands, heating the water almost instantly. It always surprised Ki'da to see how openly the Tevintan mage would use magic.
Dorian turned to face him, grinning at his handiwork, "So that's done. Now, did you need assistance undressing?"
Ki'da rolled his eyes but stretched his arms out in compliance. Dorian's still warm hands passed over his torso as he finished loosening the lacing and pulled the tunic over Ki'da's head. He neatly folded it while Ki'da wriggled out of his trousers, then he grabbed Ki'da's pants too and headed back into the main chamber. Ki'da stepped into the tub and let the warm water envelop him. He felt his sore muscles relax, yet his mind was still in turmoil. His life changed so much since the events of the Conclave. The chaos of the last few months, every decision, every success, every failure, and every loss: it all led to the fight that lay before them.
"You look like you could use the strong stuff," Dorian said, pouring a glass of wine and handing it to him. Ki'da didn't respond, simply took the glass and sipped it.
"How about you sit back and let me wash your hair?" Dorian added.
Ki'da took another sip, then laid backwards to wet his hair before shuffling to the back of the tub where Dorian was seated on a stool. They sat there in solemn silence as Ki'da sipped on the wine and Dorian gently massaged oils and other pleasant smelling products through his knotted hair. When Ki'da reached the bottom of the glass, Dorian filled it again.
Ki'da saw tears splash and mingle with the lukewarm water, he hadn't even realised he was crying. Dorian stood up and kneeled before Ki'da, facing and taking in his expression and demeanour, then wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Ki'da didn't try to stop the tears, just let them flow freely into Dorian's chest. His tears slowed at some point. Dorian helped him out of the tub and wrapped him in a warm fluffy robe, before leading him to his bed. With Dorian's arms wrapped tightly around him, Ki'da's exhausted eyes closed and he fell into an uneasy slumber.
Bright, green, blinding, light filled Ki'da's vision. He blinked, let his eyes adjust. Before him stood the ruins of Skyhold, and the sky was torn asunder. Ki'da's heart raced and panic flooded his mind. He looked down. Blood. Blood everywhere, covering the ground, dripping from his hands. Dorian!? His voice was scratchy and hoarse as he screamed into the broken sky. He tried to move but he was sinking into the pool of blood at his feet. He tried to pull himself out but hands grabbed at his limbs from beneath the surface, dragging him down. He tried to scream, but he was dragged too far down and all he could manage was a choked gurgle as the metallic liquid entered his mouth and lungs. And then, everything was dark...
Ki'da shot awake, panting and panicked. He looked at his hands, there was no blood, he was in bed. Dorian laid beside him, asleep, alive.
Just a dream, Ki'da, you were just dreaming..
His breathing was still frantic, so he stood up and walked over to the balcony. His head was pounding, pain burning from his mind, his hand. The anchor had never felt more heavy. It was all too much and it threatened to overwhelm him… and then, a voice from beside him cut through the storm of thoughts in Ki'da's mind.
"They want to help, you don't have to carry it alone.."
Ki'da paused at the sound, taking a deep breath and letting the cold mountain breeze fill his lungs. The chill brought him back to reality. Without turning toward the voice, Ki'da replied, "I just have this constant feeling of dread, I don't know how to let it go."
"Fear, falling, it's foreign yet familiar, like the fade, trying to pull me in, I'm flailing, trying to hold on, trying not to slip. If I stop moving I'll fall, but I can't fall, I can't fail, there's too much on my shoulders, I'm drowning... they want to help, they want to share the burden, to hold you up when you feel like you are falling. You just have to let them."
A cold breeze carried Cole's words to his ears, and he shivered, let the words bring calm to the chaos in his mind. He let out a deep breath, and whispered to the wind, "Can I really do this..."
Ki'da felt a hand slip into his, this time it was Dorian's voice that he heard, "Is that what has got you all torn up, Amatus? Of course you can, you are so strong, and brave, and good. I'm more than certain that you can do anything you set your mind to, but if you find that you lose faith in yourself, just know that I believe in you. I am here for you, Ki'da, always."
Ki'da turned to face Dorian, and placed a hand on his cheek, "I am stronger for knowing you Dorian, and braver for loving you."
Dorian leaned in, pressed his forehead against Ki'da's and whispered, "I love you too, always."