AN: Fair warning, crack everywhere.
Not the dangerous kind though.
"'llo Sasuke," greeted Naruto.
"Hey." The Uchiha answered in a toneless voice.
The blond frowned. It had been another month since the Uchiha had totally voluntarily sought help from a psychologist. Naruto wasn't privy to what the broody Uchiha discussed with Inoichi Yamanaka - that was protected by the medical secret - but there had already been some change to Sasuke.
For one, he actually greeted you back in the morning.
The problem was, Sasuke was despondent. Where he had been focused - albeit on the wrong thing or maybe in the wrong way -, the boy was now seemingly at a loss.
Naruto knew it wasn't that surprising, considering Sasuke, who had built his entire self in the past four years on the notion of revenge, was being told now that revenge was fine and all but that he was definitely allowed to also live a little. The trauma had been a driving force; destructive and without much future but a driving force nonetheless. Now Sasuke had to learn how to live for himself again. Something he hadn't done for so long.
The Uzumaki considered all that and smiled wryly at the Uchiha. "We need to find you a hobby."
"Please not now," said Sasuke, still tonelessly.
"When then? Look, Sasuke, I can't say I know how strange it is for you right now but as much as Broody you was annoying, Lost you is heartbreaking."
Sasuke tried to frown but only produced a grimace as if his aggressivity had been sucked out of him. "Sorry." He muttered.
Naruto allowed himself to stare at the Uchiha for a few silent seconds. "Kami, that runs deep. Okay. Time to try your hand at stuff and find which one is your thing."
"I don't wanna."
"Pff," Naruto dismissed. "What made you think you have the choice?"
Before he could say anything, Sasuke was taken by the elbow and dragged out of the training field, a clone of Naruto suddenly appearing in a puff of smoke behind the two boys.
"To inform the two other so they can join us if they feel like it."
Determination etched on his face, Naruto led Sasuke back into Konoha proper, away from the training field. After a few minutes of walk, the two boys stopped in front of a shop. Sasuke had no time to identify what kind of place he was being brought to as Naruto entered suddenly, still holding unto the Uchiha's elbow.
"Alright, pick an instrument."
Sasuke blinked. Around him were countless instruments, including some he had never seen or heard being played. In spite of himself, the Uchiha mechanically took a koto and started playing a melody he had heard his mother perform, so many years ago. Slowly, carefully, his fingers pinched the strings, his other hand up the handle and dancing at an increasing rhythm on it. There were a few mistakes in his play but, overall, it was a pretty satisfying performance, given he hadn't touched the instrument for a while now.
Then, struck by inspiration, Sasuke began to sing.
"My life sucks, oh, it sucks so much."
"Okaaay," hazarded Naruto.
"I lost all my family to a crazy schmuck," Sasuke continued, a dark cloud slowly forming above his head.
"Alright, alright, you can stop."
"As if it's not enough, now there is this boy," sung Sasuke, rain beginning to fall on his hair.
"Sasuke, you're hurting yourself."
"He sent me to the shrink and can't stop to annoy," continued the Uchiha, going nicely into the higher range. Naruto couldn't help but cock his eyebrow.
"Me, I'm just there, drifting to the wind," Sasuke kept at it and shrugging, Naruto decided he might as well sing the bass.
"The only one thing I can do now is sing,"
"Huh, that doesn't rhyme."
"Shut up Naruto, and let me finish!" Sasuke barked, still singing along the melody.
"Sorry 'bout that."
"I feel myself struggling like a poor shored fish." The rain cloud above Sasuke's head was dripping with water and the Uchiha was looking like a lost dog.
Naruto took the koto from the black-haired boy's hands and threw it violently against the wall, where it exploded in a shower of small pieces of wood. "Right, right, I get it, not music, let's go Sasuke."
Before the shop owner had any time to protest, the two boys exited the premise, Naruto once again taking the lead. For the following hour, the blond Uzumaki dragged the morose Uchiha behind him, stopping at various places to try and give Sasuke his life back.
First, they stopped at the Yamanaka flower shop where the Uchiha boy made a mortuary crown rather than the bouquet he was supposed to create. Then, they made a halt at Hana Inuzuka's pet shop and veterinary office, where Sasuke lay against a dying, old dog and refused to move. After a shot of adrenaline administered by Hana herself, the blond once again dragged his black-haired teammate, to the library this time.
Where Sasuke immediately proceeded to grab the nearest available book on how to best prepare a suicide.
By this point, Naruto repeatedly banged his head against the table he was sitting at. That was when a bright idea hit him. He berated himself for not thinking about it sooner and took Sasuke by his elbow again but not before throwing the book the Uchiha was attempting to read in the trash.
Hence why the two boys were now both seating at Ichiraku's ramen at ten in the morning, one with a gloomy look on his face, the other the picture of exhaustion.
"Sasuke," breathed Naruto, "your brooding has undermined my prodigious stamina. I'm not saying that to boast, but it's honestly an amazing achievement."
"Hn."
Feeling the urge to deck the Uchiha in his teeth well up within him, the blond gritted his own jaw and turned his head to Teuchi. "Hello, master Teuchi. A miso ramen with pork for me and something with tomatoes for the guy who is looking like he wants to die."
Sasuke seemed to perk up at the mention of his favourite fruit but immediately looked down. "I'm not hungry," he mumbled.
"I know you're not, that's not the point."
"What is, then?" Sasuke asked, curiosity piercing through in his voice.
"I know it's your favourite, I'm hoping for some kind of shock. You know, like the Madeleine, the Ratatouille, stuff like that."
Sasuke threw a wary glance at the Uzumaki. What was the blond even talking about?
"When in doubt, go back to the basics, what you're certain will work."
Suddenly, to plates were slammed on the counter by Teuchi, who was sporting an encouraging smile. In front of Naruto was a bowl of ramen, smoking. In front of Sasuke was a nice looking salade, with plenty of tomatoes.
"Good appetite," wished them the cook.
Naruto dug in heartily, producing a slurping noise that very soon grated against Sasuke's nerves. The dark-haired Uchiha had thought he was too lost to be annoyed by much but somehow Naruto had found yet again that one thing that was intolerable to him.
"Could you not?" The Uchiha groaned.
"Hm?"
Sasuke sighed and returned his attention to the plate in front of him. Taking his fork, he played a bit with a slice of tomato before he took a disheartened bite.
"I don't even like tomatoes," the boy eventually said.
Slowly, Naruto rotated his head towards the Uchiha, producing a sound oddly reminiscent of a door on rusty hinges. "Ha?"
"Yeah. It's just… My mom used to insist I eat them. 'Cause it's good for your health, you know. When she…" Here, the boy's voice pitched high before he cleared his throat. "She's gone but I figured keeping on eating tomatoes would make her proud."
Naruto eyed the Uchiha, frozen in place and perfectly silent, as if afraid to break the spell. Sasuke soon noticed, however, and an annoyed frown painted itself on his face.
"What?"
"Nothing. Please continue. You were saying how eating tomatoes would make your mom proud."
"Tch, it's silly. And you're not mocking me."
"Do you think my mother would be proud if I ate tomatoes," interrupted Naruto abruptly. "Or, maybe, I don't know, spinach?" He added in a distant voice. "Funny, I've no idea." The blond eyed Sasuke intently "You do though."
That left Sasuke with something weird wedged inside his throat.
"You have a faint idea on how to make your parents proud of you. Like, they told you stuff and…" Naruto gestured with his arms and flailed a little. "See?"
Sasuke swallowed thickly but nodded once nonetheless. He could see.
"So what did they tell you?"
"What?"
"To make them proud? You could begin there, right? While you search for something of your own to shoot for, you can always do the things they wanted for you."
Sasuke eyed his tomatoes. For five long minutes, the two boys kept silent, the rumour of Konoha behind them.
"Guess I could do that."
"So, how are you going to make good on that?"
"First, by eating those tomatoes."
"Hello, Hokage-sama," greeted Kakashi, seeing with strange pride that his three adorable little genins were at attention. It was definitely not him who had drilled that stance into them. Naruto was such a serious, dedicated little brother and teammate, to alleviate his workload like that.
He knew it also stemmed from Naruto absolutely not wanting to be casual with the Hokage. The situation was still frozen between the old man and the jinchuuriki.
"Hello, Kakashi. Here for a mission a presume."
"Indeed Hokage-sama. If I'm allowed, however, I'd like to request a C-rank. I do believe my genins have made tremendous progress in these last two months and a half. They are ready."
"What!' Iruka, who was working alongside with the Hokage, exclaimed.
Kakashi ignored the chunin. He was sure he meant well but his worries were unneeded. More likely, Naruto would be able to punch out any opposition on an A-rank mission anyway and truly, his two teammates were making rapid and solid progress towards chunin. A C-rank, even one that turned slightly wrong as they all tended to do, would be a piece of cake and something long overdue. Kakashi could see Naruto was starting to get bored with the D-ranks and a bored Naruto was something the Hatake wanted to avoid at nearly all cost.
"If you vouch for them, I see no harm in giving you a C-ra-"
"Hokage-sama! Please, listen to me!" Iruka pleaded before whispering something in the Hokage's ear. The old man hummed and nodded but otherwise, gave nothing away.
Kakashi easily read the lips of the chunin, something about "the world not being ready yet" and about Naruto "needing more time to not cause havoc". The Hatake wondered for a moment if Iruka wasn't right, in a way.
Then, he shrugged. It wasn't really his business. It was the Hokage who had insisted the boy become a shinobi.
"I understand your concerns, Iruka, but I trust Kakashi's judgment on the matter." The Hokage said in a gentle but final tone, before turning to another chunin. "Bring Tazuna-san, the client for request three hundred seventy-eight".
A few seconds later, a very drunk man in his fifties entered the mission room, holding a bottle of sake and fumbling with a conical straw hat. "'s that the brats who are s'pposed to escort me? Why they so short?" He asked, punctuating his question with a burp.
Naruto looked at Sakura on his right and at Sasuke on his left. Okay, he was the tallest of their little group but his teammates were by no mean short.
"And why doz the blond one look so stoopid?"
Naruto whirled around and threw a murderous glance at the Hokage. "I hate you a little more for making me become a shinobi."
The old man refused to cross the blond's gaze.
"Now Naruto, don't be rude," Kakashi interjected.
"You mean don't be like the client?"
The Hatake only eye-smiled. "Let's get to it, shall we?"
An hour after, the group of five were walking down the road towards the country of Wave. As far as Naruto understood, Tazuna, the client they were supposed to protect from bandits was some sort of architect who was currently supervising the construction of a bridge between the island he was from and Fire Country.
The blond immediately found it incredibly weird. Wasn't such a project something that would require the approval of Fire Country? A bridge between two countries wasn't something decided on one side and the other had to accept. Plus, why did no one talk about it more? Building a bridge crossing the sea to link two countries together should have gathered massive press, given the incredible endeavour it was! Also, was Fire Country participating financially to the project? It would seem fair but for some reason, the old bridge builder seemed to be somehow out of money.
Naruto had many more questions like these but for some reason did not dare to voice them, seeing as none of his teammates seemed to remotely care. Sasuke and Sakura were both apparently happy to be out of Konoha for a bit of adventure and Kakashi was reading his Icha Icha.
Shrugging, the Uzumaki decided he wasn't paid enough to think and if the Hokage was too blind to see the massive problem with a clandestine bridge leading directly to Fire Country for national security, then Naruto would say nothing.
The Old Man had noticed something was wrong, right? Right?
Shelving the problem inside a recess of his mind, the blond boy decided to admire the countryside. He hadn't been out of Konoha much over the years and he had to admit, everything around him was new. It was a hot, dry day of late spring but the refreshing wind coming from the sea made the journey especially pleasant. All around him were tall trees slowly diminishing in size, the species changing the further south they progressed. Naruto saw several new types of birds and decided that this wasn't so bad.
Three days passed without excitement and it was honestly fine with Naruto. He had a little notebook out and was making his own natural encyclopedia, drawing and scribbling observation about the new trees, animals and flowers they were encountering, Kakashi providing some helpful advice once in a while about which roots were edible, which flowers could serve for a salve, which tree produced the less smoke when burning.
It was on the fourth day of travel, shortly after lunch, that Naruto saw it.
A puddle of water on the side of the road. After a week of dry weather.
Whoever was planning to ambush them were geniuses beyond geniuses.
"Sasuke, Sakura," the blond drawled, moving his chin towards the puddle.
Sasuke's eyes immediately widened in anticipation, catching on immediately. Sakura realized what was likely going to happen only a second later. Kakashi gave them all his students a proud eye smile.
"I'm letting you deal with whatever comes out," the jounin warned right as they passed the puddle.
Two ninjas in peculiar get-up seemingly emerged from the shallow puddle, each wearing a clawed gauntlet linked by a chain with sharpened and pointy links. Breaking into a sprint, the attackers dashed around Kakashi, encircling him with the chain before they squeezed, tearing Kakashi apart in a squall of gore.
"Oh no, our sensei, whatever are we going to do!" Naruto screamed suddenly, the back of his right hand pressed against his forehead.
"What cruel fate awaits us now that he has fallen!" Sakura said, both her hands clenched above her hearts.
"Eh eh, give us the bridge builder kiddos and all will be right," snarked one of the ninjas, wearing a slashed Kiri headband, a mark of his missing-nin status.
"How are we-" Began Sasuke before abruptly stopping. "Wait! You were supposed to let me express my horror and distress!"
"What?" The ex-Kiri-nin asked in confusion.
"I repeated this line for hours and you just- Argh, I can't believe that!"
"Okay, calm down Sasuke, I'm sure it would have been brilliant!"
"But we'll never know now! Naruto, I'm getting rid of them!"
"Alright, call us if you need help," offered the blond, who took his backpack off his shoulders and sat on it.
Sasuke cracked his knuckles in an ominous way. "I think it's gonna be okay." And suddenly, the Uchiha dashed towards the two missing nins.
One swung at the black-haired boy who nearly snorted.
The guy was terribly slow. Compared to Naruto that is. And Sasuke had been trashed by Naruto for nearly three months by now. Like a serpent, the Uchiha swerved and answered the clumsy attack with a hit to the joint. The two buffoons were not taking him seriously.
Too bad for them.
Bone groaned and cracked under his blow and the ninja winced behind his mask. The second, strangely similar - his brother? - attempted to gut Sasuke with his claw but the Uchiha already had a kunai in hand and easily blocked the gauntlet. Sasuke's foot shot at incredible speed towards the ninja's head and the Uchiha impacted the man's temple.
The ninja fell like a puppet without its strings.
"Brother!" The one still standing screamed and shot a punch, distinctly more serious this one, toward Sasuke's neck.
Unfortunately, the Uchiha's attack on his joint meant the ninja was using his weaker arm and Sasuke fell back into his stance, guarding easily against the assault and striking back in retaliation, hitting the man in his still good elbow. Jumping back to avoid a wild swing from the claw, Sasuke simply grabbed a shuriken and flicked the throwing star of steel right between the man's eyes.
One prong penetrated the skin and possibly the skull, given the sound, but the weapon's momentum was stopped when it hit the headband.
A moment of silence fell on the battlefield, the man crossing his eyes to try to look at the shuriken embedded in his forehead.
Naruto winced. "That… That must hurt like a bitch."
As if on cue, the man screamed in pain before Sasuke kicked him hard enough in the chin to put him out of commission.
Kakashi appeared then, still reading his book, his bloody remains suddenly puffing back in a cloud of smoke to what they truly were: a shattered log of wood.
"Good job Sasuke. Naruto, Sakura, you should have helped him."
"He wanted them for himself," remarked Sakura.
"Yeah, Kakashi-sensei, it's rude to interfere in such cases."
The Hatake rolled his visible eye. "We will need to interrogate them, to know why they are after Tazuna," said the jounin who glared hard at the bridge builder, who paled.
Naruto rolled his own eyes. "Obviously because he is building a bridge? Seriously, guys, I kept silent until now hoping someone would say something but doesn't any of you find it extremely strange that a bridge is being built between Fire and Wave and nobody seems to know about it?"
Kakashi took his chin in his right hand and thought seemingly hard for a second. Then he turned to Tazuna. "Why are you building that bridge, exactly?"
"We don't even know that? What the heck is Mission Intel fucking doing? Are those cretins sleeping on the job? I wanna join them, seems they have it the easiest." Naruto ranted in answer.
Sakura hummed. "If we don't know about it, it means it isn't a joint project with Fire Country, meaning Fire Country probably doesn't approve or even know about it. Given that Tazuna came to get us, I'd say he isn't trying to build a bridge to stage an invasion of Fire Country, rather, linking Wave to fire Country is somehow vital for him. For Wave? Yeah, creating this bridge is vital for Wave. What do we know about Wave, sensei?"
Tazuna allowed a low whistle to escape his lips, apparently sufficiently impressed by Sakura's deduction to stay afraid.
"Practically nothing. It's a very small country without any interest to Konoha or Fire Country. They keep to themselves and we don't bother them."
"Huh, so we allow a small island really close to our coast, a perfect place to stage an invasion in secret or to have a base of advanced operations at the very least, without surveillance?" Sasuke asked, slightly incredulous.
Kakashi hesitated, seemed to look for something within his memories and eventually shrugged. "Somehow, yes."
"It's a relief the other ninja villages are either retarded or don't know geography because the Intel division of Konoha is staffed by retards," Naruto noted.
Kakashi sighed. "Somehow, yes." The jounin turned his attention back to Tazuna. "So, full story, please."
Basically, a man named Gato had taken control of Wave Country by more or less buying it in its entirety, by legal and illegal means, had installed in Wave's capital city his headquarters along with an army of tugs and was controlling all kind of shady business from an island centrally placed within the Elemental Nations yet somehow too small to be on the radar of the great powers that be.
Interrogating the "Demon Brothers", as the ambushers were called, revealed that another missing-nin, called Zabuza, was working for the crime lord/businessman.
"So let me get this straight. You live on a rather poor island that is really small, so small that it is on nobody's radar, you don't even have a ninja village. Yet, your emplacement makes you a choice place to stop when carrying good by sea, which should have made you rich yet somehow that's not the case. Alternatively, this island is the perfect place to establish a crime empire or establish a base to attack Fire Country and Konoha. In spite of all that, it is the first time in the history of Wave that such a thing happens, otherwise, you would have been either already under the domination of a crime lord or you would have been ready for Gato and would not have allowed him to strong-arm you. You would have had a militia or something, may even a contract with Konoha or Kiri. Is that all correct?" Naruto asked after an hour of Q&A.
Tazuna nodded, visibly confused. "Err, yes."
Naruto eyed him for a second then threw his arms up in the air. "That makes no sense, no freaking sense. It's like when, in a bad book, the author who has no idea about worldbuilding pieces a place together from scratch for the heroes' first adventure but the place feels and actually is completely disconnected from the world. Wave Country is a sheer impossibility of History."
"Maybe it had a secret protector before but he died and now Wave is not under anyone's protection anymore?" Sakura offered.
"Doesn't explain why Konoha doesn't bother about this country when it totally should."
"Maybe this protector had some kind of genjutsu power that made people think Wave wasn't a country worth paying attention to?" Sasuke hazarded.
Silence fell on the group and for five minutes, none talked, too occupied as they were mulling their own thoughts.
"What were we talking about again?" Naruto asked suddenly. Sakura and Sasuke looked at the blond strangely before both shrugged.
"Don't remember. Sensei?"
But Kakashi was reading his Icha Icha so the three genins all whirled towards Tazuna, who was looking as if he had just woken up.
"Tazuna-san?"
"Wha?"
Naruto sighed. "I have the feeling I've just forgotten something important."
"It'll come back to you if it was," reassured Kakashi. "Now we must decide what we do. We know these two aren't the only ninjas we'll encounter and Zabuza is honestly a dangerous criminal."
"You're seriously asking that, sensei?" Sakura asked with one eyebrow raised, pointing a thumb at Naruto.
Kakashi shrugged. "Fair enough. Onward to Wave Country."
It took the group the rest of the day to reach the sea. There, they waited for morning and the fog to set for a small boat to come take them on the other side. Naruto had the impression of crossing the River of Death or something akin to it, with the low luminosity and the dense fog. Soon, however, the group arrived, its members alive and breathing, thank you very much, on a new shore.
"Welcome to Wave," whispered Tazuna.
"Why are you whispering?" Naruto asked under his breath.
"Because voices carry over in the fog?"
"Oh, right. But isn't there an echo as well? Like, even if we are heard, no one should be able to tell where our voices are coming from, correct?"
"Correct."
"So why are we whispering again?"
"Dramatics," interrupted Kakashi. "Now please, Naruto, keep silent."
The blond mumbled something but ultimately complied. The group of five walked a fair distance deeper into the land and the fog lifted progressively, revealing a lush vegetation and various exotic trees. Every once in a while, the group passed an abandoned village. The only explanation they got from Tazuna was each and every times the same: "Gato".
The sight gradually made the blond Uzumaki furious. What kind of man was that cruel to other human beings? Apart from the entire village of Konoha towards him? Also apart from the various ninja villages towards each other? Also, apart from ninjas in general? Anyway, how could that Gato inflict such suffering upon the certainly completely innocent citizens of Wave.
Okay, given they had sold part of their country by themselves, probably too enticed by promises of easy money to truly think about the consequences, they were partly to blame. Still Gato had no right to reduce them to such misery and the businessman had used illegal mean to extend his dominion over the island, as Tazuna had explained.
They were nearing a lagoon when Naruto sighed.
"Whoever is following us, you can get out and come clean."
The blond Uzumaki was only answered with the slightly worried looks of his teammates and client and the sound of the nature around them. Naruto cleared his throat.
"If you don't come out, I'm going to make you and it'll probably be painful and involve a lot of ass smacking."
The blond once again wasn't answered and Naruto sighed again, preparing himself for a fight, when the whoosh of displaced air caused his entire team to go down. The blade of a massive cleaver stuck him in the chest in a terrible sound of something being folded ruthlessly.
"Ah. That was a nice sword I suppose. Sorry." Naruto apologized to the wind, looking at the ruined sword that had impacted him and broken upon his skin. "That cut through my vest though so I'm kinda mad. If you come out now, we'll solve it peacefully."
Seeing as he wouldn't be answered again, the blond snapped his fingers and suddenly, there was a rustle in the bushes to the group's left. A second later, a body was thrown in the clearing the team was in.
"So, I'm guessing you're that Zabuza guy."
"What the hell are you?" The man, muscular, shirtless and covered in scars, hissed in answer as he rolled to an upright position.
Haku was baffled when the blond kid, who seemed younger than even Haku was, detected Zabuza-sama. That child, barely a shinobi, should never have been able to detect the master. Zabuza-sama was too good to be so easily discovered. Reason told Haku the boy was simply a sensor. He would be the first target to eliminate for Zabuza to work his craft efficiently. A sensor was the only type of ninja who could render the Silent Assassination Step useless.
Haku wasn't surprised when Zabuza-sama threw his cleaver at the boy. Haku wasn't surprised either by the fact the boy was unable to escape the blow: the sword was whirling fast.
What did surprise Haku, however, was the fact that the legendary Kubikiribôchô crashed against the boy and broke. Somehow.
That was impossible so Haku blinked and flexed some chakra to dispel what was obviously a genjutsu but it did not work. Zabuza-sama's sword was still laying at the blond's feet, broken, ripped and folded like a sheet of paper.
Haku heard the boy offer an ultimatum and when the master did not comply, the blond snapped his finger.
Somehow, that threw Zabuza-sama in the clearing. Feeling panic rise, Haku palmed a few senbon, ready to incapacitate the master and flee with his body. Haku was garbed in a hunter-ninja get-up from Kiri. Surely, those Konoha shinobis would suspect nothing. Haku had just forgotten a detail apparently.
Right, the blond was a sensor and capable of withstanding Zabuza-sama's sword.
A hand fell upon Haku's shoulder and the reason why the master had been thrown in the clearing was made clear: a clone. Haku swallowed, thickly.
"Huh huh, I wouldn't do anything, miss."
Haku started and reflexively threw an attack at the blond's head, who didn't even flinch when the punch impacted his cheek. Haku had the feeling of striking at armoured concrete. Seeing the futility of close combat, Haku tried to jump away but the hand the boy had on Haku's shoulder prevented any motion. With a single hand, Haku weaved through hand seals, intent on freezing the boy to death.
The boy simply put his free hand on the one Haku was using to cast the jutsu, interrupting the chain of hand seals. "I know I said wouldn't do but it wasn't a suggestion really. Please stop struggling, miss."
"Stop calling me that!" Haku hissed. "I'm a boy."
"And I'm a frog. Now relax and everything will be okay, or I'm not Naruto Uzumaki."
"So," the boy in the clearing began, "you're with Gato, correct?"
"That's not important, you're going to die-"
"Please don't." Naruto interrupted. "Don't throw around threat you know full well you're not going to be able to make good on. I mean, your cleaver folded around me. Are you able to punch harder than that?"
Zabuza snorted. "You're a little genin and you think you can stand up to me? You're a sensor and you're a little tough, so what? You're from being a shinobi, boy."
Having said that, Haku's master unleashed his full killing intent, causing the old bridge builder to fall on his knees, choking the young girl and making the black-haired boy shiver. The blond, however, whistled, unconcerned.
"Yeah, sorry, my tenant is worse than that. You're down with your little display?"
"I'm going to take my time murdering-"
Suddenly, the boy in front of Zabuza disappeared. The air echoed with the loud boom of thunder and the soil where the boy had been standing was suddenly upturned. Haku blinked and before comprehension could dawn, the blond appeared in front of the master, fist extended and stopped a hairbreadth in front of his nose.
A gust of wind, incredibly powerful, tore the bandages Zabuza had wrapped around his mouth and neck and threw his hair backwards. Haku saw the eyes of the master water under the assault of the wind. The roar of a lion echoed in the ears of everyone present.
"Let's not make it too complicated. I'm powerful enough to kill you without trouble but I don't really think we need to go that far. How about a deal?"
Zabuza growled for a second before he relented. "What kind of deal."
"We extirpate Gato from this island, definitively, and you take your cut. Easy money."
"I can't. I have a reputation to uphold."
"You can also be dead. 'S that worth your reputation?"
Zabuza seemed to think for a second. "Okay deal. I won't achieve anything by being dead. You can release my companion now."
Naruto smiled.
AN: As I said, crack. You might leave a review if that brought a smile at some point.