Ten days left in FTL. Most people never spend this much time at such speeds; few systems not containing a mass relay were colonized. Unfortunately Commander Shepard was ordered to keep the Normandy's stealth active at all times. This meant the ship had to vent its heat sinks more often than normal, every twenty hours; a process that required two hours. While space was freezing cold, heat transfer was poor in a vacuum. This added nearly a full day on to the trip.
One up side to long FTL journeys was the view. There was nothing quite as beautiful as innumerable stars soaring by at incomprehensible speeds. The streams of blues, reds and purples were mesmerizing. Shep spent her nights asleep on the observation decks plush couch. The marine never knew how much she missed waking up to the stars. Like embracing a lover after a long trip away. Today she awoke to a pink blob floating in front of the window.
"This one humbly requests that the revered Commander Shepard remain in her current position."
"Um... sure." Shep blinked to clear the sleep from her eyes to find a Hanar bobbing ever so slightly not five feet away. The polite sea creature had a tentacle draped over the shoulder of a small Drell girl. The child was sitting on a stool behind an easel. The angle suggested 'revered Commander Shepard' was the girl's subject of interest. Even fully awake Shep's foggy mind couldn't pieced together just who these two were outside of their status as representatives.
"Well at least you two know my name."
"It begs your forgiveness. This one's face name is Armelsta. This other one's name is Erane Yeul." A teal face with orange freckles and a hand peeked out from behind the canvas, gave a small wave and smile before returning to work. "The Luminous Council in their infinite wisdom have commissioned this one to bring art to those that will soon be uplifted."
Erane stood up and made several hand gestures in what Shep recognized as galactic sign language. Then began to pack up her supplies.
"Its ward has asked if the most esteemed Hero of the Citadel wishes to hear our stories?"
"That would be nice." The Human was glad she didn't have to ask. Shep sat up straight and carefully hid the box of red wine made impromptu pillow. Giving silent thanks to the surgeon that gave her high efficiency synthetic kidneys; this situation would have been far more embarrassing if her hangover was any worse.
"This one has a relative that was born blind; a rare tragedy among the Hanar."
Shepard knew enough about the poetic jellies that losing sight meant it was deaf and mute as well.
"It had been tasked with maintaining their well being. This one is ashamed to admit It resented said family member. Some years ago It received word of an experimental treatment able to give this One's charge the gift of vision. It had worked hard to earn the credits required. All were overjoyed to learn the cybernetics had taken root and this One's cherished kin was granted the gift of language." Lifting an tentacle Armelsta activated it's omnitool, bringing up a picture of another Hanar. Covering most of the body was a cloth-like mesh of holo projectors.
"After that one's teachings were complete it showed exemplary aptitude for philosophical discussions. That one became the light within the darkness it was born. This one dedicated its life to aiding shattered ones rebuild themselves into glorious mosaics."
Shep was honestly impressed. Most Hanar she had to deal with were either zealots, arrogant pricks or both. The fact that she worked desk duty for the Council may have played a part in that.
"I guess that means you're really something special then." The girl blushed and stared at her feet. What small amount of maternal instinct Shep had was absolutely tickled by this adorable Drell.
"Young Erane Yeul, by way of accidental injury, suffers from a less than perfect memory. Now the little one's mind works like that of you and It. She had lost much in the incident including her parentage and will to speak. In her speechlessness she found an emotional outlet through painting. Many Drell find the works Erane Yeul has crafted from her imperfect recall as a curiosity. She can paint the same memory a hundred times and none will be exactly the same; making each one of a kind. No other of her race can claim such artistic diversity. Now her voice has begun to return and her orphanage is able to care for many wayward children."
The young girl ran over to Shep and hugged her tightly. "Thank, you." The words were soft and tearful.
Shepard returned the hug and pulled back to see Erane's eyes grow wet. Wiping the tears away the human asked. "Just what could you be thanking me for that has you in such a state?"
"Commander Shepard is the one who saved her by slaying Saren Arterius. Her accident had occurred during the Geth invasion."
"...Glad I could help. I need to get back to work. It was nice meeting you two."
Shepard left the room and made a beeline to the elevator. Hitting the cabin button almost before entering she felt the metal box move at far to slow a pace. Shep's arms started to twitch and her eyes darted around the featureless cube. The Commander exited half running as she tore off her uniform. Stumbling over the step to the bathroom she practically slid to the toilet on her knees. What little was in her stomach painted the bowl. Shepard pulled her trembling form over to the shower and turned it on full blast before hugging herself tightly on the tile floor.
This was not her first panic attack and would not be her last, but it was the worst one yet. At least she thought it was a panic attack. After the third one she went to see several therapists. All said that it was normal for people to have such a reaction after experiencing traumatic events. Shepard had been through many missions that mentally broke others under her command. Butcher of Torfan that's what she'd been called. She never cared about the moniker. Not until Eden Prime. Killing liara's mother right in front of her, then executing the last Rachni. Purging the colony on Feros. Sentencing Kaidan and the others to death on Virmire. Shepard never questioned her choices before.
After she was reconstructed things had changed. Shepard found herself reversing the roles of her and those deemed acceptable losses. Nightmares of Her mother being shot on Noveria, of Her being drowned in acid. Screaming inside her own mind as Her body is forced to attack marines, of Her bleeding out beside a nuclear bomb.
Shepard cried silently as she imagined being a little girl watching helplessly as mechanical monsters tore her world apart.