Happy Belated Holidays! Here's an update...

Keep in mind, this is supposed to be a dark story. It's just more...gradual than my other stories. :)

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

Hermione quieted down her laughter as she glanced at Ginny who was clearly not entertained. Lavender seemed to have picked up on the sudden awkward atmosphere as well because she too let her laughter simmer down to an awkward chuckle. Hermione mentally sighed, having predicted this sort of thing to happen.

She had invited both Lavender and Ginny to her dorm for a girl's night seeing as she felt that it was much needed. She had told Lavender that Ginny was coming, but had 'failed' to tell the redhead about the blonde. Ginny's initial reaction was expected and Hermione had hoped that she would eventually warm up, but Hermione could see her naivety now.

Lavender had done her best to include the younger witch in conversation, but it was futile. Hermione could also see her possible inconsideration. She had thought that by not telling Ginny, it would lessen the harsh reaction she was bound to get. She could see now that maybe it wasn't so smart after all.

Hermione sighed aloud this time before taking Ginny's hand, feeling better when she reluctantly looked up and smiled at her.

"I know that this is…new for all of us, I get it. Ginny and I have repaired our friendship," she turned to face Ginny now "…and I've found an unlikely friend in Lavender…"

Ginny pursed her lips, glancing at the other girl before looking away.

"I just see no reason as to why we all can't be friends," Hermione finished.

Ginny scoffed, pulling her hand away before crossing it over her chest.

"Really? You see no reason? Not even one?"

Ginny's eyes were hard and accusatory as she glanced at Lavender with a raised eyebrow.

"Ginny…," Hermione began.

"No, let her speak. She's clearly harboring some kid of…resentment towards me," Lavender quietly said.

"Ha! That's a laugh. Sorry…just…forgive me if every time I see your face all I can recall is my best friend crying her heart out. I apologize if I can't help but to think about this blonde bimbo here throwing Ron in your face every chance she got," Ginny spat.

"Ron and I weren't together…," Hermione weakly defended.

"…but she knew how you felt. Everyone knew how you felt about Ron and everyone knew that he could be a bit obtuse sometimes. She took advantage of that. I don't see why you felt sorry for her just because Ron showed his true colors. Karma's a bitch, huh?"

"Ginny!"

"I already apologized to Hermione. I don't owe you anything," Lavender harshly replied.

"You're right. You don't owe me anything and I don't want anything from you. I'm glad that you two got over your differences and I'm glad that you were there for Hermione when I couldn't be, but it's going to take a little bit more than some girl's night out for the two of us to ever be friends," Ginny firmly stated.

Hermione sighed, dropping her head into her hands. This was not how she wanted this night to go, not in the slightest.

"Why? I just want to know why," Ginny suddenly said.

Hermione looked up in confusion, frowning at Ginny as the redhead kept her gaze on Lavender. Hermione didn't understand what she was asking, but one look at Lavender's face told Hermione that she understood. Lavender glanced down, rubbing her arm before glancing at Hermione and then to Ginny.

"I…was jealous, okay? I envied Hermione, always had. It just seemed like everything came so easily to her: the friends, the grades, and a best friend who anybody could see was madly in love with her. Not to mention…," she glanced at Hermione "…you're gorgeous. The fact that you didn't see any of this, at least not the way I did, made me…angry…"

Lavender sighed.

"Here was a girl who seemed to have everything and it seemed like you didn't even appreciate any of it. Of course, I was wrong, but when Ron showed the least bit of interest in me…I jumped at the opportunity. I felt that I deserved him more than you did because I could fully appreciate him. I'm sorry," Lavender whispered.

Hermione didn't know how to fully take any of this. She appreciated Lavender's honesty and was glad that she had the full truth.

"I was grateful for everything I had, still am. I loved Ron, or…at least I thought I did. I don't know what gave you that impression of me, but it wasn't the case. Like I said, I fancied myself in love with him, but I was wrong. I think that I was in love with the idea of us more than anything else."

"Well…that's sweet. It still doesn't change the fact that she did you dirty and you two are 'BFFs' now," Ginny mocked.
"Are you really upset about the fact that I saved her from being mauled by Zabini? Are you seriously angered that that brought us together?"

Lavender's question had flown out of her mouth before Hermione could warn her. Ginny frowned, looking at Lavender before her eyes slowly slid to Hermione, questioning. Lavender quickly glanced between the two before her eyes lit up with realization.

"You didn't tell her…," Lavender quietly stated.

"No…she didn't," Ginny replied just as quietly, hard eyes on Hermione.

"Ginny…"

"Zabini tried to rape you? So one of the rumors was true… Why didn't you tell me?"

Hermione winced at the obvious hurt in Ginny's tone. She swallowed, throat suddenly thick.

"It wasn't exactly something that I wanted to broadcast, Ginny. I felt…stupid. I felt like I had put myself in the position. Not to mention that Draco had warned me about him," Hermione confessed.

She missed the way Lavender and Ginny glanced at each other at her use of his first name. Ginny sighed, scooting closer to Hermione on the bed.

"Hermione that's just stupid. It wasn't your fault and 'Brightest Witch of Her Age' does not translate to 'someone who knows everything'. Even the smartest and wisest people can find themselves in situations that are…far less than pleasant," Ginny said.

Hermione smiled at her just as she turned to face Lavender.

"Well…thank you again for being there for Hermione when I couldn't be. While this definitely earned you a shitload of points in my book, it's still going to take some time for us to ever be friends. You hurt my best friend, and while Hermione may be past it, I'm not," Ginny continued.

"I understand. I'm sure that if I were in your position, I'd feel the same way," Lavender said.

Hermione clapped her hands together.

"Well, now that we're passed that-."

"Let's move on to you and Malfoy," Ginny proposed, interrupting her.

"Yeah, I like that idea," Lavender agreed.

Hermione blinked, taken back by the sudden turn in conversation. They both had turned to face her now, Ginny with her chin rested on her fist and Lavender with her arms crossed.

"Malfoy and I? What about Malfoy?"

"Oh no. Don't backtrack now. You called him Draco earlier," Ginny pointed out, wagging her finger.

Hermione could have slapped herself because of her slipup.

"So? We're getting along better," Hermione said.

It wasn't an entire lie. They were getting along better, minus their last meeting and the fact that she had been avoiding him ever since. They just didn't need to know the details.

"You know, the night of that Slytherin party, she had made him take the couch while I slept in her room and she his," Lavender said, glancing at Ginny.

"Really? He just…slept on the couch because you told him to? No, sorry. That sounds…that sounds like…"

"It sounds like…"

Hermione rolled her eyes, already regretting ever putting these two together.

"What does that sound like to you, Brown?"

"I don't know, Weasley, I just don't know. The word is on the tip of my tongue… It rhymes with sipped…"

"Dipped…"

"Clipped…?"

"Ripped?"

"No. What about skipped?"

"Gripped…?"

Ginny suddenly snapped her fingers.

"Whipped," they both screamed in unison, causing Hermione to roll her eyes, yet again.

"That's the word. It sounds like he's whipped," Ginny said with a broad, cheesy smile.

"Are you two done," Hermione asked in exasperation.

"No! Not until you tell us what's going on," Lavender said.

"Nothing is going on! I told you, we're just getting along," Hermione said with a shrug.

"I don't buy it," Ginny said.

"Me neither," Lavender said with a shake of her head.

"Do you two honestly think that I'm capable of carrying on a gossip worthy affair with Malfoy? The two of us may be progressing towards acquaintances who hate each other only 50% of the time now, but I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. I'm sure the feeling is mutual," Hermione lied.

Lavender sighed, suddenly disappointed.

"She may have a point," she reluctantly stated.

Ginny eyed Hermione, clearly unconvinced, but had thankfully decided to let it go.

"Alright. So…about Hogsmeade this weekend…"

Hermione scribbled along her parchment, doing her best to focus on the task at hand. Class was pretty mundane at the moment, simple lecture, nothing too exciting or…odd. That is, of course, if she ignored the eyes boring holes into her back. While Harry had reluctantly accepted their temporary, possibly permanent, termination of friendship, Ron had not. She wasn't sure if he thought she had just been trying to get a reaction out of him or if she would simply change her mind, but either way, he clearly had not taken her seriously.

In the Great Hall, he had always smiled at her with a wave, the same expectant look on his face. She wasn't cruel, she would politely smile back, but it was obviously forced and she'd always end up sitting at the end of the table with Ginny and Lavender. Every day, he would always have the same crestfallen look on his face once she took her seat.

Maybe he was trying to win her, and her friendship, back. It was definitely possible, but she knew that Harry, no doubt, had discussed this with him. She just didn't understand what was going on through his head and for once, she kind of wanted to. Of course, Ron's gaze was nothing in comparison to Draco's.

Ron simply annoyed her with his constant staring, causing her to huff or roll her eyes. Draco, on the other hand… She rolled her shoulders, swallowing thickly as she felt the heat of his gaze at that very moment. Draco's gaze made her nervous, horny, and fearful all at the same time. He made her fidget in her seat, adjust her hair for the umpteenth time, even made her want to constantly look over her shoulder. She never looked back though, too afraid of what she would see.

Draco was…very angry with her. She had been avoiding him ever since they'd had sex in her room last week, ever since he had practically asked her to be his...'exclusive bedfellow'. Hermione didn't even want to go near the 'G' word. He had told her that he only wanted the two of them to 'be' with each other and she had fled. Not even figuratively. She had scrambled from underneath him, quickly changed her shirt, and all but ran from the room with a quick 'Ginny's waiting for me'.

She couldn't exactly blame him for his anger.

She sighed in relief when they were dismissed, gathering her things and hauling ass. She had made it out of the door and was just about to turn the corridor when she heard her name being called, accompanied by loud and hurried footsteps. Hermione didn't know whether to be grateful or worried that it was Ron instead of Draco. She tried to speed up, but he caught her arm, forcing her to face him.

Staring into Ron's blue eyes, it was hard turn him away. It made her want to say 'Okay, he's had enough. He understands that she was serious', but then she'd remember that this wasn't about him nor for him. It was for her. He had Harry and the two of them were always able to get along just fine without her. She needed to be able to do the same.

"Ron," she said with a sigh.

"I know, I know. I just… How are you?"

Hermione wasn't going to lie, she was definitely thrown off by his question and more than a little skeptical.

"I'm fine, Ron. Look, I really have to go-."

He placed his hands out, pleadingly.

"I just want five minutes…"

"Ron…no," she finally said, having considered to do so, but then thought better of it.

Ron frowned, wringing his hands together.

"Hermione, just five-."

"Come off it, Weasley. Everybody knows about your falling out. The lady said no," McLaggen interrupted, stepping into the corridor, looking as put together as ever.

Ron looked between the two of them, eyebrows furrowed, his mind clearly running rampant with the possibilities. Hermione was confused by his sudden appearance, but grateful nonetheless.

"Now, if you'll excuse us," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her away.

Hermione didn't dare look back at Ron, too afraid to see his face, or even comment on McLaggen's comfortable nature with her.

"Thank you," she said in relief.

"I try to be a white knight when I can…," he gloated with a shrug.

She pulled away from him, finding no reason to keep up the pretense of them actually having somewhere to be together.

"Actually, I really did want to talk to you about something," he said, turning to face her.

"Oh?"

"Hogsmeade is this weekend…," he began with a dazzling smile.

Hermione sighed with a small grimace. She, Lavender, and Ginny had already decided to go together and even if that wasn't the case, she wasn't sure she'd be too comfortable saying yes. McLaggen was great looking and even though he could be a bit arrogant at times, he was still extremely charismatic. There was, however, just one little complication… Speak of the devil, she thought.

"Sorry, but Lavender, Ginny, and I have already decided to go together," Hermione sweetly replied.

McLaggen nodded, shoving his hands into his pocket.

"Girl's day. That should be fun. Well, thanks for hearing me out, anyway. Maybe next time…," he let the implication hang in the air.

"Yeah, maybe. I have to go," she said, distracted before walking past him.

She had hoped to escape unnoticed, but she had already known that that was highly unlikely.

"Granger…"

"Nott. I'm glad to see that you're back," she said.

Draco was next to him, his icy gaze focused on nothing but her and Hermione had to force herself to keep her gaze on nothing but Nott.

"Yeah, I've been back for a minute now actually. You and McLaggen a thing now, huh," he joked.

"Ugh, no. Not even remotely. He was just asking me something," she said, sparing them the details for obvious reasons.

Nott nodded, glancing at his uncharacteristically quiet friend while said friend simply glared at her. She swallowed, glancing up at him, his piercing gaze sending a chill through her.

"Hermione-."

"I should go. I have a lot of studying to do," she hurriedly said before breezing past them.

She felt Draco's gaze all the way down the corridor until she turned the corner.

Hermione sighed as she gazed at the Shrieking Shack. Lavender and Ginny had been looking at dresses when she left them with the excuse of going to the bookstore. She was aware of how both of them felt about the place and knew that they would not be inclined to tag along just yet. She smiled to herself as she thought about how she'd left them, arguing about whether or not blue was Ginny's color. For someone who claimed that they wouldn't be friend any time soon, Ginny got along with the blonde witch rather well.

She was glad that they were getting along.

Hermione wasn't sure what possessed her to come out here. She had every intention of going to Tomes and Scrolls. She had wanted to just be alone for a minute, but had thought that maybe this was a better place for that. She really needed to think, not just about what Draco had said, but what it had made her…feel. The thought of her and Draco being exclusive, made her feel some kind of way. It wasn't a bad feeling, she could acknowledge that, but that good feeling was what scared her.

She tilted her head as she heard footsteps behind her, before looking over her shoulder. She should not have been surprised to see him behind her. She slowly turned around as he stepped towards her, his eyes almost matching the snow on the ground.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"

Hermione opened her mouth to protest before she thought better of it and snapped it shut. She had been avoiding him. There really was no point in denying that fact. He took a step towards her as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"Was it because of what I said?"

Hermione scoffed, letting out a humorless chuckle, before looking at him in exasperation.

"What do you think, Draco?"

"I'm thinking about how funny this situation is. Society's standards dictate that I should be the one running for the hills when the words 'exclusive' and 'relationship' are put into the same sentence, not you," he joked, although his face was entirely serious.

"Draco, do you even have any idea as to what you asked me?"

"Yes, I do. What is the problem?"

His question came out harsh, filled with frustration as he took another step towards her.

"Do you even know what you're saying? Draco, commitment is not a word I would associate with you. You've never had a relationship in your life. The closest possible thing would be what you and Parkinson shared and I'm only mentioning that because you kept running back to her. I'm actually positive that that doesn't even technically count," Hermione said.

Draco scoffed, crossing his arms as well.

"I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend or something. I just…there's no one else that I'm interested in sleeping with. I had thought that the same went for you…or was I wrong?"

He was directly in front of her now, looking down at her from beneath his lashes, jaw clenched.

"Are you interested in shagging anyone else? McLaggen, for example?"

She didn't appreciate his tone and she put her hand on his chest, gently shoving him away.

"Oh, give me a break. You know that I don't want to sleep with anyone else, but that's beside the point. This…this is just asking for feelings to get involved," she said.

"So?"

Hermione blinked, taken by surprise at his reply. So? She swallowed, forcing her heart to slow as she registered the implications behind that one word. She slowly shook her head.

"So? Are…are you saying that…that you wouldn't care if something more came out of this?"

There was no calming her heart now. Draco held her gaze, silver and brown clashing. Draco blinked as he seemed to finally register what he'd said before stepping towards her again.

"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying…"

Hermione's eyes widened and she took a step back, shaking her head.

"…no," she whispered.

"No?"

Hermione took another step back at his change in tone of voice, swallowing.

"No. Look, I trust you not to tell anyone about us. I trust you not to intentionally hurt me and I trust that you would keep me safe from harm, but…I don't… I can't…," she trailed off, the words failing her.

"You don't trust me with your heart," he finished, a bitter tone seeping into his voice.

She looked up at him, eyes solemn.

"No, I don't."

She gasped in shock when he grabbed her arm, pulling her up against him. His other hand came up to run through her curls, his eyes darting over her face at a rapid pace.

"Hermione…I need you," he said between clenched teeth, as if the words physically pained him to say.

"Draco," she said, twisting within his grip.

"I won't hurt you. I promise. You have to believe me…"

She snatched herself out of his grip, stumbling back.

"Draco…if this is where this…thing is headed, then it's over. It was only supposed to be a one-time thing, anyway. Now you're talking about feelings and my heart? We're done," she said.

"If I say I can do this, then I can do this," he spat, stepping into her personal space again.

"That's not enough for me. I'm sorry, but protecting my feelings comes before you," she responded, stepping past him.

She swallowed as he blocked her way, his frame appearing much taller. She looked up at him, shrinking under his withering gaze.

"You want this. You want this just as much as I do. You're just scared…"

"Yes! I am scared. I will admit that and you know what? Fear has kept many people safe in history. I'm not going down this road with you. Find another girl," she whispered.

She had finally gotten past him when he grabbed her arm, spinning her around and into his arms. His eyes were wild.

"Don't you get it? There is no other girl! I don't know what it is about you…"

"Draco, let go of me-."

Her words were swallowed by his kiss, his lips moving expertly against hers. He was right. She did want to entertain the idea of them being an item, official. However, he had also been right in telling her that she was scared, a coward, and that she was. She didn't know what it was about Draco either, but everything about him just called to her. He had the ability to make her knees weak with just one look. However, none of this negated the fact that she was afraid that this was only going to end in one way; heartbreak.

She pulled away from him, turning her head and shuddering when his teeth grazed her neck.

"Draco," she warned.

He looked up at her, the snow reflecting off of his eyes, making them appear much lighter.

"You're all I think about, Hermione. When I'm in class, on the Quidditch field…"

Hermione's eyes widened as she realized, with a fright, that it wasn't a reflection of the snow. It was his eyes! His eyes were lighter, almost glowing as they gazed at her. She yanked on her arm, almost flailing in his hold now.

"I want to be around you every second of the day. I need to be near you, kiss you, touch you… Merlin, I love being inside of you," he whispered, his lips grazing her cheek now.

"Let go," she snapped, almost screamed.

"I've done things, terrible things, just to keep you near me…"

She unzipped her jacket, sliding out of it before taking off. She heard him growl in frustration as she sprinted, her hair flying behind her.

"Hermione!"

Just his voice alone called to her, tempting her to turn around and run back into his arms, but she couldn't. The memory of his wild glowing eyes, and what they meant, kept her going.

Let's play the guessing game!