Naruto eyed once again the piece of paper he had found slipped under his door this morning. It was just an address, the time for the meeting and the name of a tea shop. One Naruto vaguely knew of, one he was sure would refuse to serve him.
After a minute of intense reflection, he decided that it was decidedly not his problem - at least he could admit his clone had been right on that point - and that if this Ibiki guy he was supposed to apprentice under wanted to meet him there, then he would meet him there.
His decision taken, the blond exited his run-down flat and began to jog lightly. He wasn't late but the tea shop was on a remote part of the village and jogging would help him warm-up.
It took the boy ten minutes to reach his goal, a place named "Lovely Leaves" - the name was frankly silly and a bit simple-minded in Naruto's honest opinion. As always, people were giving a wide berth, although maybe it was wider than usual today. Naruto could tell the villagers were throwing wary and fearful glances his way but after a second of deep soul searching, he decided that they deserved it.
Sure, he didn't want the village to be in ruin, he didn't want them to die, but they were still assholes.
Shaking his head and derailing this particular train of thought, Naruto looked around until he saw a man in standard jounin attire - dark blue shirt and pants with an armoured green manchira on top. What distinguished the man was the long greyish coat - "ugly" thought Naruto - and the bandana that was covering his head.
The man's features were hard as if sculpted in stone and bared by two long, vertical scars. The blond shuddered when he realized the jounin had been watching him with two narrowed, dark eyes since he had been in view. Wary, Naruto approached the jounin.
"Hm, Ibiki Morino-san?"
"Maybe. Who is asking for him?"
Naruto couldn't hide his surprise. Everybody knew of him, what he looked like. He couldn't be missed, what's with his blond hair, his blue eyes and the six whisker-like scars on his cheeks.
"I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I was told to come here to meet my new jounin sensei."
"I see. Well, I might be him or I might not. Do you have any idea what this Ibiki Morino look like?"
"Well no," answered Naruto immediately. "I've never met him."
"And you didn't think it wise to seek information?" The man asked with a raised eyebrow.
Naruto fidgeted and quashed his mounting annoyance. The guy could just tell him if he was this Morino person or not and be done with it. "Well, I was short on time-"
"You're a ninja," interrupted the man, pointing at Naruto's forehead where the blond had his metallic protector, the sign that he was, indeed, a ninja of Konohagakure. "One large part of your job is to seek information to be better prepared, to be as ready as possible when faced with a new situation. You're telling me being "short on time" is your best excuse?"
Naruto floundered for a second before annoyance overtook him. "Are you this Morino person or not? You're wasting my time! I should be learning a jutsu already!"
"You're wasting mine, boy," retorted the jounin. "Being a ninja isn't about jutsus! Do you even know what the word "shinobi" mean?"
"Ah, everyone knows that! It means to endure, old man!"
"I'm not old and "endure" is only the meaning of the root kanji "nin", you ignorant child! "Shinobi" means to conceal as a verb and "shinobu" means stealth and theft. What kind of ninja goes to a meeting without any kind of information on the people he is supposed to meet?!" The jounin retorted, giving Naruto a pinning glare that rooted the boy on the spot.
"What do you think your job is, genin?" The man continued, and his voice was as cold as ice. "Going headfirst into the fight and hoping for the best? Hoping that you'll be better? That kind of thinking will get you and your teammates killed. If you're a shinobi boy, you use your head, you gather information about your mission and you seek to look underneath the underneath."
Naruto sputtered for a second. That was what Kakashi-sensei - although Naruto supposed it was just Kakashi now - had said after Team Seven's true genin test.
"Think hard about what I just told you, boy." The man said, his voice suddenly much more gentle and his eyes devoid of the menace they were holding a second before, before he rose from his seat and departed, leaving behind him a flabbergasted Naruto.
The blond staggered back a step as the jounin left and took a deep breath, momentarily confused by the abrupt change in his interlocutor's demeanour. Watching the jounin leave, Naruto scratched the back of his head in an unusual attempt to think. What would he do now? Apparently, this jounin wasn't his new sensei, otherwise, he would have just told him, right?
What was all this talk about information though? And why did the jounin care if Naruto knew what a ninja did or what shinobi meant as a word? And why did it almost seem like he was teaching?
The light suddenly went on and Naruto truly felt like an idiot for a second. Looking for the departing form of the jounin, the boy hurriedly ran after the man. "Wait!"
The jounin stopped in his tracks and turned towards him, watching him skid to a stop in front of him. "What is it, boy?"
"You're my new sensei!" Naruto exclaimed, pointing his finger at the man. "You're Ibiki Morino, I'm sure!"
The man simply cocked an eyebrow. "Why would I be this man?"
"'Cause why would a jounin be at the Lovely Leaves at eight in the morning if he isn't the guy I'm supposed to meet?"
"You don't know that, kid," interrupted the man. "Maybe I like to start my day with a lovely cup of tea."
The stumped Naruto for a second before he shrugged. "Yeah sure, that doesn't change the fact I received a paper that told me to meet you there. Seeing as you're the only jounin I can see, you must be him. No coincidence and all that."
"That's not logic there, boy. Think a little, what if this Morino you're looking for is at the terrasse under a transformation jutsu?"
"Why would he do that?" Naruto asked, confused.
"To test you maybe? You said he's supposed to be your new sensei, don't you think he would cook you some sort of test, to see what you're capable of?"
That stumped Naruto once again, for several seconds this time before he turned towards the terrasse. It was sound for, after all, Kakashi had done the same. There were three people seated and Naruto narrowed his eyes. "But how could I even know if he is under a transformation?"
"Well, what do you know about the transformation jutsu?"
"It can give the user basically any human appearance as long as it is close to their size."
"So, if you knew what Morino looked like, say you knew his size, would you be able to identify him?"
Naruto scratched his head, looking intently at the people seated. "Not really. I mean, when people sit down, it's difficult to guess their size."
"So, what else could you use to identify him? Hmm?"
The boy kept scratching his head. How did one identify a jounin under a transformation jutsu? If they really wanted to be beyond notice, they would calmly drink tea and would be totally relaxed to pass as a civilian and there would be no way for Naruto to spot the jounin. The blond thought hard. He was familiar enough with the jutsu to know that clothes were very difficult to disguise: there were always inconsistencies between the way the person moved and the way fake clothes followed. Maybe he could spot that? But what if this Morino guy had pushed the vice to the extreme and came in civilian clothing? So the surefire way was to know how to detect the use of chakra.
Naruto panicked; he didn't know how to do that! He wasn't a sensor!
The boy felt light-headed. Going headfirst into the fight sure was easier, whatever the tall man was telling him. All this thinking was giving him a headache.
"Argh, I don't know!" The blond exclaimed. "There is no way I could spot if he is determined to avoid me! The only way is if I could detect chakra but I can't do that, old man!"
A vein bulged on the visible part of the jounin's forehead. "I told you, I'm not old. And that's an acceptable conclusion. Truth is, I'm Ibiki Morino."
That silenced Naruto for all of two seconds before he roared in outrage. "What the hell, old man? What are you playing at here? If you're my sensei, just say it!"
"Right, rude and loud," noted the jounin, making a show of cleaning his ear with his little finger. "Two qualities that really make me want to take you as my apprentice."
Naruto stopped his rant and brightened. "Really?"
"No!" The man barked in the boy's face. "Did you even listen when I gave you the definition of shinobi before? How does loud and orange go with concealment and stealth in that blockhead's brain of yours?"
"Don't diss the orange!" Naruto screamed back. "It's better than your ugly-ass coat, old man! At least Kakashi-sensei was cool!" The boy's face scrunched up. "Wait a second. How do I know you're even telling me the truth and you're really this Morino guy?"
"Nothing, you exasperating child but maybe if you had looked for intel, then you'd know what Ibiki Morino looks like!" The jounin barked.
"You could be wearing a transformation to look like him!" Naruto answered, still screaming loudly.
"Good, how would you test that?!" The man questioned in the same tone.
It took a second for Naruto to draw a kunai from the pouch fastened around his thigh and knife the man's coat. The satisfying ripping sound told the boy what he needed to know: the clothes weren't camouflaged. Something crashed on the top of his head and the boy dropped his weapon.
"Ow!" Naruto exclaimed, nursing the spot where the jounin had smacked him.
"What the hell, blockhead!? What did my coat do to you? And I'm a jounin, you're lucky I kept myself in check because you'd be dead right now! Again, concealment and stealth, how is that difficult for you to understand?"
"I had to test if that was a transformation!" The blond justified himself with a pout.
"Did it occur to you only my face could be disguised? What would you do in a mission, knife everyone you come across in the head?"
Naruto looked down. Even he could admit that didn't sound practical. "N-no."
"Good. So the question is, how do you spot a transformation that affects just the face?"
The boy shook his head. "I-I don't know."
"Then you'll learn," answered the jounin. "Seriously though, I am Ibiki Morino," continued the man, showing Naruto an I.D card similar to the one the blond himself owned. Naruto knew those were supposedly difficult to counterfeit.
"This was a test?"
"Yes, and you got only fifty per cent of it."
"What?! Why?!"
"Because you didn't even know what I looked like, blockhead!"
"Stop calling me that!"
"I'll call you that as long as you're a blockhead so it's up to you to earn a better nickname."
"Then I'll call you old man!"
A second vein bulged on Ibiki's forehead. "Are you sure about that?" He asked, his voice frosty.
Naruto gulped and shook his head.
"Better. Follow me."
Naruto woke up with aches and pains in his body. The boy winced. It had never happened before today but truth was, he had never been worked as hard as yesterday when Ibiki had decided he would run an obstacle course in training ground sixteen. Again and again.
And again.
From what he had been told, the obstacle course was one of many designed for high-level genins and chuunins to keep in shape in between missions, personal work and eventual teaching. The trick was that to fully beneficiate from it, the runner had to pass the course without any use of chakra.
The main aches Naruto felt were from falling down more than muscle pain.
Stretching with a groan, the blond fixed himself a bowl of cereal and peeled a fruit - no, he didn't eat only ramen, ramen was just cheap, that was all - before he quickly took a lukewarm shower - the stingy landlord had yet to fix his heater. Tucked in his orange getup, Naruto was ready to exit his flat when he noticed the note slipped under his door.
"Meet me in my office." The boy read out loud before shrugging. "Sure, let's do that."
It took the Uzumaki five full minutes to realize he had no idea where his new sensei's office even was. His initial reaction was to rant angrily at bastard teachers and their mind-games before the lesson of yesterday finally hit him with the force of a freight train. His lips formed a silent "O" of realization as the gears clicked in his brain.
"That's what Ibiki-sensei means by intel!" Naruto exclaimed, his right fist impacting his open left palm. "Gotcha! Sensei, here I come!" The blond yelled to his surrounding, earning a few disgruntled glares.
It took the Uzumaki another five full minutes to realize running around randomly would not net him the information he needed. His initial reaction was to hit his head repeatedly against a lamp post and insult himself before an idea eventually stopped him from damaging his brain further. Surely, the Hokage knew everything about Ibiki-sensei, given it was the Old Man who had appointed the jounin as his new sensei.
"This time, I got you," grinned the blond before darting to the Hokage Tower. Losing no time and disrespecting every security protocol of the Tower, Naruto barged in the Hokage's office without so much as a knock on the door.
"Jiji, I need your help!"
The Hokage smiled and gestured to the ninja he was talking with to stand back. "I don't have much time, Naruto-kun, what do you need?"
"Can you tell me where Ibiki-sensei works? I need to go to his office!" The boy explained.
"Ah! Right, Ibiki told me you'd probably come and see me about that."
"Really? Then, where is Ibiki-sensei, Jiji?"
The Hokage smirked. "He also told me not to tell you anything. Now Naruto," the old man said with a preemptive motion meant to shush the outraged blond, "I can't always give you the intel you need, you'll have missions where it'll be very difficult to gain information on your target."
Naruto groaned. "It's another test, is it?"
"Yes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to finish the debriefing with this T&I agent here. Go."
"Yes, Jiji," answered the blond, immediately exiting the Hokage's office.
It took the Uzumaki yet five more minutes for his brain to register the detail he hadn't missed but dismissed. His initial reaction was that he was tired of his new sensei's twisted games already and that if the Hokage wasn't on his side, it would be a very long apprenticeship. Returning in front of the Hokage Tower, he lay in wait of the man who had been in his Jiji's office. The man the Old Man had said was working in Torture and Investigation. The man who was wearing the exact same ugly-ass grey coat as his sensei did.
A minute later, the man exited the tower and Naruto immediately started to trail him. T&I was a very secretive department of the Konoha military, for good reason, the blond supposed. It was where the criminals, the spies and the captured enemy ninjas were kept and interrogated.
The only place even more secret had to be the hideout of the ANBU, the elite amongst the elite. In any case, Naruto had no idea where those two places were located.
The blond navigated the streets of the village, still following the man. After a number of twists and turns, the boy could feel his patience bleed out of him. What was taking the guy so long to reach his goddamn office? Couldn't he quicken the pace already?
The boy's thought trailed off as he mechanically followed the man. Maybe he should ask him directly? Nah, the man had probably received orders from the Hokage to not help him. That would make sense even if Naruto thought it was really unfair. How was he supposed to know where to find the second most secret place in all of Konoha? No, trailing the T&I member in front of him was his best bet.
Naruto's eyes widened suddenly. In front of him? Where was the guy? He had been in front of him a second ago! Panic and anger welled inside the boy's guts. How had he allowed himself to lose the man? He really was a blockhead, damn it, his sensei was right!
The cold touch of a sharpened blade pressed against the back of his neck immediately poured metaphorical cold water upon his heated thoughts.
"You thought a genin could follow a T&I agent without being detected? You thought a T&I agent would knowingly lead a genin to the third most secret place of Konoha? Why would it be a secret if you could simply track it down so easily? What are you playing at, genin?"
Wait, T&I was the third most secret place? What was the fist then? The sensation of the blade pushing against his skin and cutting him shallowly centred Naruto's thought in the fraction of a second.
"I'm supposed to meet my teacher there!" The blond exclaimed.
"Can you prove that?" The ninja behind him asked in a monotone.
Naruto flailed his arms for a second before he fished for the note he had found this morning. "Yes, yes, here," he said, holding the piece of paper backward for the ninja to read.
"You realize it literally says "meet me in my office", right? No mention of the name of this sensei of yours. No mention of your own identity. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take you in as a prisoner."
Naruto choked. "W-What?! I'm a ninja of Konoha, not a traitor!" The boy exclaimed, pointing at his headband. "And my sensei is Ibiki Morino! I'm sure he works with T&I."
"Never heard of him. And that is exactly what a spy would say. Counterfeiting a headband isn't especially hard, you know? So, the question is, are you a bad spy or a too curious genin?"
Naruto paled. "Seriously? I'm Naruto Uzumaki!" He protested loudly as if that was intrinsic proof that he wasn't a spy. The boy narrowly kept himself from face-palming. He could tell that was stupid.
There was a pregnant pause and the ninja behind him confirmed it. "And? I'm supposed to know you?"
"I was in the Hokage's office ten minutes ago and I called him Jiji! I can't be a spy!" The boy protested again.
"True that. So you're not a spy. Still, you cannot prove anything about your claims so I'll have to assume you're a genin who got too curious."
"But… But it's true! Com'on, Ibiki Morino, tall jounin with a hard-ass face! I'm sure you know him, he's an old man!"
Naruto felt the dagger push slightly deeper, causing a tiny bit of blood to run down his neck.
"What did I tell you about calling me an old man?"
The boy felt his eyes go wide and he swallowed thickly. Slowly, he took a step forward before turning around. That was when he noticed the tear in the man's cloak. Then, the man's face started to be blown away, like a layer of sand by a gentle wind, to reveal the scowling features of Ibiki Morino. Of course, Naruto thought, a transformation.
"Hm, sorry?"
The jounin twirled his kunai threateningly. "How about you run the obstacle course again, Naruto?"
"H-hai!" The boy answered in a white voice.
"Good. I'll be providing encouragement."
"E-encouragement?"
The kunai flew at Naruto's face, cutting his cheek and drawing blood.
"Run, little genin. Run."
"Ahhhhh!"
Naruto darted away, shuriken whirling after his retreating form, his sensei hot on his tail.
AN: This is chapter 2, to see if you're in. I'll be honest, unlike the rest of the tsundere on this website: reviews are like fuel, so if you had fun, leave one.