Disclaimer: I Own Nothing
Hermione's legs were aching by the time she made it back to Hogwarts. She hadn't stopped, hadn't slowed down for even a second, too afraid that Draco was right behind her. She was sure that her hair looked like a windblown mess and her breathing was labored from the abnormal strain on her body. Their alarming conversation was on repeat within her mind, refusing to let her forget. His behavior, and every word he had spoken, had thrown her into a fit of conflicting feelings.
While everything that he had said did alarm her, she also couldn't deny that a small part of her could relate. There were times when she found her thoughts drifting to the young Malfoy and remaining there for an absurd amount of time. There were times when her mind would flit to…less than appropriate thoughts about him during class and she would find herself just a bit more than uncomfortable. It wasn't something that would last for ten minutes at the most, but sometimes the entire class period, sometimes hours. It would sneak up on her before she would even realize what she had been doing. She had thought that that was normal, for her at least. This was new to her, it was new and exciting, and so it would make sense that she'd be preoccupied with the glamor of it all.
Draco, on the other hand…Draco had more than enough experience to go around, so she didn't understand where this was coming from. She didn't understand where any of this was coming from! This was only supposed to be a one-time thing, an experiment of sorts. She wasn't supposed to be developing feelings, neither one of them were. Never in her wildest imagination did she ever dream up that Draco Malfoy would practically be begging her to start a relationship with him. It just didn't make any sense. A lot of things weren't making sense…
She tried her best not to dwell on the mystery surrounding his eyes. She desperately wanted to convince herself that it was a trick of the sunlight, reflection from the snow, or even just her own mind playing tricks on her. She kept telling herself these things over and over again, but it was futile. She saw what she saw. Now she just had to explain it. That, however, she could do later. At this very moment, her only concern was-.
Hermione gasped in shock as she literally ran into Ginny, Lavender right behind her, as Hermione entered the corridor at an alarming pace.
"Hermione," Lavender acknowledged in surprise.
Ginny finally got over her shock before placing her hands onto her hips with a scoff.
"…and just where were you? We went to Tomes and Scrolls and you weren't even there. We searched everywhere for you," Ginny exclaimed.
Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She knew that if she told them where she really was, then they would ask more questions and Hermione knew that at this moment, she would not be able to lie.
"Well," Ginny pressed.
"Weasley," Lavender softly said, gesturing to Hermione as the blonde girl really got a look at her friend.
Ginny blinked in realization as her face softened, taking a step forward.
"Hermione, what's wrong? What happened?"
Hermione blinked, thrown by the sudden change in behavior.
"What? What do you mean?"
"You're crying," Ginny pointed out.
Hermione reached her hand up to touch her face and realized that she indeed was crying. She brushed her fingers over her cheeks with a shake of her head.
"Oh…that's- it's nothing. Uh…can I stay with you in your dorm tonight?"
Ginny glanced at Lavender, a worried expression on her face before answering.
"Of course. You know that you're always welcome. Why…why don't you want to sleep in the Head's dorm?"
Hermione closed her eyes, having hoped that Ginny would not ask that. She should have known better…
"Hermione? Why don't you want to stay in your dorm? Does this have to do with Malfoy?"
Hermione eyes shot open at Lavender's question with a shake of her head.
"No. It has nothing-."
"You're lying. What did he do? I'll curse him myself, Hermione," Ginny hissed.
"This isn't about Malfoy," Hermione reassured.
"Yes, it is. I can see it…what- where's your coat?"
Hermione looked down in shock, having forgotten that she had sacrificed her coat in order to get away from Draco. She blinked, shaking the memories away with a shake of her head, opening her mouth to answer when Lavender spoke.
"Hermione…your neck. What happened to your neck?"
Hermione reached up and felt a small, almost nonexistent, smudge of something sticky. Ginny rushed over, forcing Hermione's hand away to get a better look.
"It's a cut, a small one actually. Practically just a nick…," she mused.
Hermione's eyebrows furrowed as she frowned in confusion. Maybe she'd done it while running? She didn't recall running past any trees or anything with branches. Just as she was about to tell Ginny that she was just as clueless as she, her eyes widened. Her mouth parted in shock as she recalled the feel of Draco's teeth grazing the skin in her neck.
"Hermione?"
Lavender could clearly see the horror and confusion on Hermione's face if the worry in her voice was any indication. Hermione felt her heart freeze and she frantically shook her head, letting out a shaky breath.
"We need to go by my dorm…I-I need to get some things," she forced out.
"You said just one night. Why do you need any clothes or anything?"
Ginny's question came out accusatory and Hermione looked up at her with pleading eyes.
"Hermione, what is going on? This has something to do with Malfoy, I just know it."
She and Hermione stared at one another, Ginny's expression hard and Hermione's guarded. Hermione sighed…
"I need to get some things from my dorm. Are you coming with me or not?"
Ginny huffed, crossing her arms over her chest before rolling her eyes with a shake of her head.
"Fine."
"Hermione, you've been sleeping in the girl's dormitories for four days now. Something clearly happened…"
Hermione had been hearing this for the past three days and had still yet to give Ginny or Lavender a proper explanation. The only time she had ever caught sight of Draco was in class and every time it wasn't a pretty sight. He progressively looked angrier and angrier, to the point where his normal posse didn't even want to be near him, save for Parkinson and Nott.
However, Parkinson wasn't so much as sticking around as she was sticking to him like glue. It was obvious that she was doing her best to take advantage of Draco's momentary uncharacteristic behavior. She always hung onto him, touching him as much as she possibly could, even going as far to fix his food for him during meal time. At least, that last part, was what she'd heard from Lavender.
While it was obvious that Draco wasn't giving her the time of day, doing nothing to encourage her, it was also obvious that he did nothing to physically deter her either. Hermione used the term physically because the looks he gave Parkinson said it all. Of course, everyone knew how she operated, Draco included, and he knew that he would forcefully have to get it through her head. So in Hermione's eyes, his lack of reaction was all the encouragement that Parkinson needed.
On some level, Hermione acknowledged that she had no right to be jealous. She had turned him away. He had offered her what any girl in this bloody school what dream of and she had said no. Sometimes, it was hard to remember why she had even said no in the first place. Of course, then she would remember the intensity behind his words that day, his aggression, and the odd occurrence with his eyes. It would make her hairs stand on end all over again and she'd shudder from the memory.
She sighed.
"Ginny…"
"Just tell me the truth. Does it have to do with Malfoy?"
Hermione closed her eyes and reluctantly nodded. She heard Ginny huff and Hermione opened her eyes to see the other girl shaking her head.
"I knew it!"
"It's not… He didn't do anything, okay? It's extremely complicated," Hermione assured.
"He didn't hurt you, did he?"
"No. No, of course not," Hermione said, shaking her head.
Ginny sighed, opening her mouth to speak when she was interrupted.
"Granger," an approaching voice called.
They both turned around to face Nott as he approached them, a troubled expression on his handsome face. Hermione stood from her place on the steps as he stopped in front of her, blue eyes boring into her own.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Hermione frowned in a mixture of confusion and skepticism before glancing at Ginny. Ginny threw her a shrug, letting her know that she was just as in the dark about what this could be about. Hermione reluctantly nodded, following Nott as he stepped away from Ginny, still leaving the redhead in view of them.
"What is it," Hermione asked.
"It's about Draco…," he began.
Hermione swallowed, glancing away as her heart skipped a beat within her chest at the mere mention of him.
"He wants to talk to you… Although, I'm not sure why he can't just talk to you himself," he complained.
"I don't want to talk to him. Not now, anyway," she added with a shake of her head.
Nott narrowed his eyes at her, shoving his hands into his pocket as he assessed her.
"My best friend has been on edge and an all-around pain in the ass for days now. The smallest thing sets him off and yesterday, I was legitimately convinced he was going to kill me. You want to tell me what all of this is about?"
This was news to Hermione. She'd noticed his sour mood, but did not think it to be that bad. She felt her heart sink and her shoulders sag as she took in this information. She finally shook her head at Nott.
"So you're just not going to tell me? You're going to pretend that nothing's going on?
"Why? What do you know," she demanded.
"More now than I did three seconds ago," he said with a smirk.
She huffed, realizing that she had revealed more than she wanted to.
"Look, just tell him to give me some time and then I'll talk to him. I promise. I just…I need to…figure some things out first," she reluctantly said, absentmindedly reaching up to brush her finger against her neck.
Nott sighed, before grudgingly nodding, seemingly satisfied with her answer for the moment. Ginny was by Hermione's side as soon as Nott walked away.
"Let me guess… That was about Malfoy and you're not going to tell me, are you?"
Hermione gave her friend a small tightlipped smile before patting her shoulder and turning around.
"Sorry, Gin."
Hermione found herself in the library a day later, surrounded by a pile of books. She had told Nott the truth. She was going to talk with Draco as soon as she figured this out. Whenever she was faced with the dilemma of the unknown, she did something about. She did her research to make it not so unknown to her anymore. Yeah, that's exactly how we ended up here, she scathingly thought to herself with a sigh.
Something was going on with Draco. Something that was…out of the ordinary, that much was obvious. She had long accepted the truth in this, the truth in what she'd seen. Sadly, the only thing she really had to go on was the slight glow of his eyes. That told her absolutely nothing. For all that told her, he could be a bloody werewolf, something that was highly unlikely.
Professor Lupin had only been her teacher for less than a year when she had figured out the truth behind his secret. Draco on the other hand, well, she lived with him. She was positive that if Draco was howling at the moon once a month, she would notice. She shook her head, still in disbelief that she was actually sitting here, trying to figure out if Draco was something of the…extraordinary. It was…preposterous, and yet…it was their reality.
She glanced around at the books strewn around her, glaring at each and every one of them as they offered no source of help or insight. Her eyes ran over the bookshelf next to her, trying to find something, anything when a particular familiar book caught her eye. She blinked, eyes widening when she was pulled from her thoughts.
"Don't you ever get tired of studying, Granger?"
Hermione looked up and rolled her eyes with a small smile, shaking her head. She really wasn't in the mood to put up with him at the moment, but she figured that he was doing no harm.
"I mean, I know that you aren't like us normal students, but at least pretend to be human…?"
"What do you want, McLaggen?"
He rested the palms of his hands on the table, looking down at her with a small smile.
"You looked incredibly defeated. I thought that I should come over and add some sparkle to your day," he joked.
"I appreciate that…really, I do. I just…right now isn't exactly a good time," she said with a grimace.
He nodded.
"Okay, well, I'll be quick. Remember when I mentioned our next Hogsmeade trip…?"
"Cormac…I…I just don't think that's a good idea. You and me, I mean," she said.
She felt bad as she watched his face fall, disappointment seeping into his features.
"Oh. Are you uh…are you with someone? I know that before Zabini got expelled, you and him were kind of hanging out. I had just assumed…," he trailed off.
Hermione took in his solemn expression, realizing, with mild surprise, that Cormac was genuinely interested in spending time with her. He wasn't so bad, everyone had flaws, but… Draco, she thought. Hermione sighed as she thought about her lover…former lover-whatever. The point was that…there was just something about Draco, and despite what was going on at the moment, she knew that even entertaining anything with anyone else would just feel like a betrayal.
"It's complicated," she quietly responded.
She saw him slowly nod and she looked down at the sight of his crestfallen expression. He suddenly straightened up, a grin breaking out over his face.
"Well, when it's not so complicated, let me know…," he said, walking away with a wave.
Hermione didn't say so, but she had a feeling that that day would never come. She hurriedly put her books away with a wave of her newly fixed wand. It felt good to have her wand back within her grasp, she felt so incomplete without it. It had been weeks before she was finally able to get hers properly fixed after Blaise had stepped on it, rendering her practically helpless for the last couple of weeks.
She slowly made her way out of the library and was shocked with the sight that greeted her. Parkinson and Draco were right outside of the library and Hermione had just exited in time to see Draco literally pry the girl off of him, shoving her away. Pansy harshly landed on her back, a wide eyed expression on her face as she looked up at Draco with a hint of fear for probably the first time in her life.
Draco didn't say a word, instead glaring down at the dark haired girl with a look so intense, Hermione took a step back. It was at this moment that Draco became aware of her presence, or maybe he was already aware, as his head swiveled around and his eyes zeroed in on her. Their eyes met, his softening as she felt her resolve do the same.
She wanted to run to him, forgetting everything she'd said and tell him that yes, she wanted to dive right in. She couldn't though. There were too many unanswered questions between them and quite frankly, his intensity scared her. The intensity of his feelings scared her and the intensity of hers around him scared her as well.
Parkinson followed his line of sight and Hermione glanced at her just as she narrowed her eyes at Hermione. The other witch suddenly pushed herself onto her feet, making her way towards Hermione when Draco grabbed her arm, yanking her away and shoving her against the wall.
"You will not touch her," she heard him snarl.
Hermione took this opportunity to slip away, heart pounding as she did so. She could feel his eyes on her, calling her back, but she forced herself to keep walking, trying to force the terrifying picture of his deadly gaze on Parkinson out of her mind.
Hermione.
.
Hermione rolled over, careful not to wake Ginny as she fought to sink back into her deep slumber.
.
Hermione…
.
She groaned, grabbing her pillow and placing it over her head, squeezing her eyes shut, fighting to ignore the slight pressure in her head.
.
Hermione…please…
.
Hermione.
.
Hermione.
.
Hermione.
.
I need you…
Hermione hurriedly sat up as the words echoed inside of her head. The room was dark and suffocating as she looked around, spotting no one. Her body vibrated with tension and she swallowed, quickly throwing the covers off of her and exiting the dorm, careful not to wake the other girls. Hermione wasn't sure where she was going, but before she knew it, she had found herself exiting the Gryffindor common room and making her way down the dark corridor.
Surprisingly, the darkness didn't frighten her at all. Instead, it was the feeling of complete dread, confusion, and anger that scared her. A combination of emotions that confused her deeply. Her feet seemed to be leading her somewhere only they had directions to, her mind going a mile a minute as she acknowledged how mental this was.
The corridors were freezing and her bare feet did not help her situation. Neither did the oversized t-shirt that she had on. Her heart pounded erratically within her chest, speeding up as she neared the seventh floor, the silence making her uneasy. It wasn't a normal silence, it was like all of the noise in the world had stopped, leaving only her and her short, choppy breaths. As she rounded the corner, she let out a soft gasp at the dark silhouette of a figure standing there. She knew who it was, even without seeing his face. She could feel him…
"Draco," she called.
He turned around, his silver eyes almost glowing in the darkness as he gazed at her. She walked towards him, noting that his eyes were not actually glowing this time. He wore a hard expression on his face, one that got more frightening the closer she got.
"Draco, what are you doing?"
Her voice was quiet with composure, doing her best to figure out what was going on. Why was he here? Why was she here? She glanced down, stopping short at the sight of the still figure at his feet. She dropped to the floor beside the figure, inhaling sharply as she recognized Cormac McLaggen.
Hermione opened her mouth in shock, hands hovering over him, not sure what to do. She turned around, looking up at Draco.
"What did you do," she cried.
"Is this why you turned me away? Was it because of him?"
He spat the question out through clenched teeth, his hands balled into fists beside him. Bloody fists, she noted with horror.
"Wha-no! Draco…wh-why? Oh, Merlin," she gasped as she turned back around.
She pressed her ear to his chest, relieved to hear a heartbeat. A faint one, but it was there nonetheless. She was suddenly yanked up by her arm and forcibly spun around. His eyes were wild as he glared down at her.
"Am I not good enough for you? Is that it?"
Hermione eye's widened, expression softening.
"No, of course that isn't it. I-."
"Then what is it? What's the problem? Why are you rejecting me?"
"Draco…look," she exclaimed, gesturing to McLaggen.
Draco flinched, as if he had forgotten all about what he had done before he shrugged.
"He's still alive. It's nothing…"
"In comparison to what? Fay?"
Draco said nothing and Hermione felt nauseous.
"The other day, you'd said that you had done terrible things to keep me by your side… Were you referring to Fay," she quietly asked.
Draco looked down and she used her free hand to place it on his cheek, lifting his head.
"Draco…what did you do?"
Just then they heard a noise down the corridor, a teacher calling out. Before Hermione could say anything, Draco's hand was covering her mouth and she was being whisked away. He dragged her down the next corridor just as the light from the tip of a wand came into view.
Draco pressed his back into the wall, pressing her back against his chest with one strong arm wrapped around her, the other hand over her mouth. She couldn't recognize the teacher's voice, but heard them let out an exclamation of surprise, no doubt about McLaggen.
Hermione was relieved and felt a little bit better, knowing that someone had found him. They were more than likely taking him to the infirmary and Hermione was grateful. As the light began to fade, she felt Draco's arm tighten around her, his lips pressed to the side of her neck.
"I'm sorry," he choked out.
She didn't know what he was apologizing for. McLaggen? The incident from a few days ago? Fay, maybe? She reached up as best as she could, brushing her fingers along his arm.
"I don't know…I don't know what's happening to me."
Hermione had a hunch and even though the chances were slim, she still had a dreaded feeling that her instincts were leading her in the right direction. If she was right, then this was going to affect her too. His hand dropped from her mouth, his now free arm tightening around her as well and in that moment, she had never felt so safe and scared at the same time.
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