I'm sitting in my room with Jess, who's sitting on my bed next to me. "Soooo when are you and Darcy getting married?" I joke around, knowing Jess will get embarrassed.
She looks at me and tries to smile. "Not any time soon Em." She looks sad, like she needs going to cry. "We probably won't ever get married."
"You willlll! You have to believe. I know you will. You're perfect for each other." I say, jumping off my bed to grab my phone.
"No Em. I mean we probably won't ever have the chance to." I look at her with a funny expression. "Emma I have to tell you something." Jess says, and I can see the nervousness in her eyes. Probably about something for school, at least I assume.
I look down at my phone. "Yeah what's up?" When I look up Jess has tears streaming down her face. "Jess what's wrong?"
"I have stage 4 leukemia Emma." Jess says.
I feel the blood drain out of my face. I drop my phone on the floor. I shake my head in disbelief. "That can't be right. You're kidding right? Please tell me you're kidding." I feel hot tears start to form in my eyes.
"I really wish I was Emma." Jess whispers. Tears start flowing down my cheeks and I sit down next to her. "I have acute myeloid leukemia. It's a type of blood cancer that spreads to different parts of your body, which is why I have a brain tumor. It can spread at a fast rate and will soon probably affect my liver and spleen. Maybe other organs. The doctors said there isn't really a hope for me. It's borderline terminal. I can do chemo if I want, but there's a chance that it could kill me faster if the cancer doesn't respond." She goes quiet and wipes her tears.
"How long… how long do you have?" I stutter, tears coming down faster.
"Best case scenario… they said 6-9 months. That's with treatment and if the treatment works. Without treatment or it not responding to treatment, a matter of weeks. 2 months max. If it weren't for my tumor things wouldn't be so complicated. But there's also a chance that if I'm cured, if everything works, it will come back." She explains.
"How long have you known?"
"Almost 2 weeks. A week and 4 days."
I nod. "Does Darcy know?" I ask.
She shuts her eyes and I watch her tears flow. "No. Not yet." she pauses, wiping her tears. "I feel like he deserves more than a text or a call. Part of me doesn't want to tell him. He's going to college in 3 months Em. I don't want to cause more stress or worry him. He doesn't deserve a girlfriend who has cancer." She wipes her tears once more. "I can't bring myself to tell him."
I don't know what to say. I look at her. "He needs to know Jess. He won't care if you have cancer. Well, of course he'll care, but he'll love you just the same. He will want to spend time with you. Be there for you. Hold your hand and take care of you through it all. Spend every moment with you and cherish it."
"I know. It's so hard Em. You're the only person I've told. 2 weeks it's taken me to tell someone." She says looking down.
I hug her tightly. I hold her hands and we both have long lines of tears streaming down our faces. "No matter what, you aren't alone. You have me. Everything will be okay. We have to have hope. Thank you for telling me." I say. She nods and we cry together. I have to have hope. For both of us. I just can't imagine losing my best friend. I can't imagine losing Jessica Delaney. I refuse to imagine a life without her.