A/N: Hey so I'm replying to a review I got from the last chapter.

"So Ivan hallucinated or imagined the field?"

No, Yao is just so old he doesn't remember something he deemed as not important at the time it happened.

R&R?

My Dearest Yao Yao,

I know you don't want to write me back because you're scared. I don't blame you but this is real. I really do love you Yao.

I want to wake up and see you lost in sweet dreams, see you smile as you cook and then watch your eyes shine when I compliment you.

I want to see you scowl at me and laugh with me. I wish I could compliment you every day and watch that red tinge spread across your cheeks like you didn't know how handsome or how amazing you were.

I remember when you used to live with me, just vaguely, I don't remember much from the Soviet Union…

I do remember watching you read a book as you eat. I remember all the ungodly thoughts that went through my head and how I just wanted to take you by force but I'd never do that now. I'm sorry for thinking like that everyday.

Now when I think of you quietly eating- I think of how your eyes skim the book, how half the crumbs fall onto you lap and how you run your tongue along your bottom lip to capture the other stray crumb.

I love you so much.

I just wanted to tell you that I chose the room that faces south so I can look out my window into the unforgiving cold and still think that somewhere right in front of me is the most amazing person on the earth.

I believe your reading my letters and keeping them somewhere safe. So when you feel abandoned you can read these and know you're not alone.

Ivan,

Dear Diary,

I can't take these letters anymore. One more and I'll run over to his house and fall to the ground at his door.

At first they were sweet but now I can't stop thinking about him. About what would be different if we had fallen in love.

Would he treasure me like he says or would he think like the Soviet Union? Would he try to take me by force again? Leaving me to run into the cold as my only escape. Then I remember that Ivan is different. He wants to be with me because he love me…

And I love him back. I want to tell him but I don't know how.