Dear Diary,
Today we were in Russia, his boss hadn't touched his house so we all decided to have a little 5 year memorial there.
I walked out to get some fresh air, they all knew I loved him and how much regret I felt over Ivan's death. How much regret we all felt, I suppose. We all betrayed Ivan. He was just following his bosses orders like we all do, it wasn't his fault his boss made him do those things. That he was so damaged he thought it was okay to do those things.
We all didn't realise Ivan had lost his memories of the Soviet Union and didn't understand why everyone hated him. Then when he did it was second hand from those who hated him. So he hated himself just as much.
But their guilt was too much. Especially Alfred. He was too much. I stepped outside and I saw a child running down the street. At first I thought he was my imagination- it was Ivan as a child in a long brown coat and that ridiculous fluffy hat he loved. I thought for sure I was finally insane then he ran into a woman's arms. She smiled and kissed him, holding him close to her chest. A man, a Mongol man put his arm around the woman.
I couldn't move, couldn't even budge. It was Ivan, he was alive? Living a human life too. History repeating. Ivan's mother would die and sent his stepfather insane. His stepfather would abuse him, hurt him…
I wanted to sweep Ivan from their arms and run. To hold him. That was when Arthur saw him too. He made a noise so startling that everyone saw the young Ivan.
Who could deny those bright purple eyes? It was Ivan.
Katashya burst into tears but I was frozen.
Arthur immediately put a hand on my shoulder telling me we couldn't interfere with them. He had to live through his natural life. As we went inside I saw Ivan looked at me. He gave me a stunning, bright smile. I gave one back and he looked back at his mother, laughing as she tickled him. They left.
After the shock had hit us all, after we had all calmed down. Arthur explained he thought something like this would happen.
Ivan would be reborn in a child and grow to 19. His immortal age. At 19, he would be called to the heart of his nation and be given his immortality and memories.
I asked if Arthur thought Ivan would remember killing himself, it hadn't been a peaceful death, but Arthur didn't know. He had just suspected Ivan would need to come back in some form. That it made sense he was born, like we all were at some point but that killing himself had worked because of the state of his nation. Now his nation was healing, he was growing along with them.
I hope he'll not remember killing himself, I would do anything so he doesn't remember it. However, I hope he remembers the letters, writing them to me. I put the letter I wrote him along with all his on his desk in a box.
I hope he finds them. I hope he remembers how much he loved me...
I love you Ivan.