A/N: *waves sheepishly* Okay, so... I haven't updated this story in, what, two years? So, uh, sorry about that. But! I've very recently broken out of a long period of writer's block and I managed to grind out another full chapter, so I figured I'd post it here. This chapter is another one entirely from Ezra's point of view, but I promise we'll see the rest of the crew in the next one! I'm also working on updating an old SWR fic that I wrote years ago and never published, and as soon as I finish rewriting that one I'll start posting it as well, so keep an eye out!
Trigger warnings for the usual stuff.
As always, comments, questions, reviews, and helpful criticism are highly appreciated.
Ezra's dreams were a swirl of images, sounds, and feelings that were all jumbled together in his mind, each demanding his full attention and seemingly fighting to gain control of his racing mind. Eventually, he realized that the dreams weren't really dreams at all; instead, they were a mix of memories tumbling through his head, spilling out from wherever they had been sealed away in an unrelenting torrent.
Memories of his parents, his mother and father (though he couldn't remember their names no matter how hard he tried) and their friends and acquaintances. He remembered his home, his childhood, on the planet of Lothal. He remembered days and nights and months and years with his mother and his father, his parents, his family (and wasn't that such a strange word, such a good feeling, knowing that he was loved, he came from something, from somewhere, he had a home).
The memories began to slow from a flood to a stream to a trickle as Ezra slowly regained consciousness. Something whispered in the back of his mind that something was wrong, that wasn't he still missing several years of his life, and what had happened to his parents? Ezra tried desperately to chase these thoughts, follow them further back into his memories, but something stopped him. Something grabbed him, boxed him in, dragged him back, and would not let go no matter how much he struggled.
All at once, Ezra's eyes flew open and his senses were overwhelmed as he blinked groggily, trying to figure out where he was. He could tell that he was laying down on something metal: the cold was seeping through his too-thin Imperial jumpsuit, freezing him down to the bones and making him shiver. As soon as Ezra's right arm shifted, however, a sharp, fiery burst of pain shot up into his shoulder and Ezra gasped, squeezing his eyes shut as the pang brought with it memories of what he had done.
He had told his Master no.
Ezra whimpered quietly and tried to sit up, only to find that tight metal bands held his arms and legs to the surface he was laying on. Ezra struggled, trying to free himself, but the pain in his right arm was too much and he had to stop, panting from exhaustion. Ezra stilled completely as a horrifying realization crept into his thoughts: he was in an Interrogation Room. His Master had brought him to the Holding Cells before, to show him what the Empire did with its valuable prisoners. Was that what he was? A prisoner?
"You're awake, I see. Good." Ezra slowly turned his head to see his Master standing quietly in the corner, his face shadowed so that all Ezra could see were his cold golden eyes and the light glinting off of his sharpened teeth. Ezra stared with wide-eyed fear as his Master stepped towards the table, his eyes never leaving Ezra's own.
"Now," Ezra's Master continued, stopping beside Ezra and reaching towards his head. Ezra shrank back and let out a nearly-inaudible squeak. His Master smirked, but the pain Ezra braced for did not come. Instead, Ezra heard a click and felt a pressure as another metal band was wrapped over his forehead, securing his head. "How much do you remember?"
"What?" Ezra croaked. Instantly, his Master's hand slammed down next to Ezra's head, making Ezra flinch violently.
"Don't play games with me, child!" his Master snarled, sending a warning wave of pain through Ezra's head. Ezra whimpered in fear and pain. "I asked you a question, Weapon. How much do you remember?"
"I… I don't," Ezra stammered, his voice breaking a few times as it tried to work its way past his raw throat. Tears sprung to his eyes and Ezra blinked rapidly; he knew that crying never helped, and often only made his Master angrier. Ezra's mind was still reeling slightly and he struggled desperately to gather his thoughts, but they shied away from him, slipping in between the cracks in his mind and swirling around distractingly.
"It's no matter," his Master's voice was quiet now, and Ezra shuddered. Quiet was worse than Loud; Quiet meant that his Master was furious, and that level of anger only meant one thing to Ezra: Pain. Ezra's Master moved until he was right beside him and leaned closer. Ezra let out a terrified whimper and tried to squirm away from the hand that was reaching towards his face, but the metal bands held him firmly in place.
"I locked away those memories before," his Master whispered, his eyes blazing with a strange cold light. "I can do it again."
Ezra strained to get away, but it was no use. His Master's fingers brushed against his forehead, and Ezra's world was filled with a harsh blinding pain. He tried to move and couldn't feel a response from his body. Vaguely, Ezra registered a sound breaking through the white haze that gripped his mind, and slowly he realized that the sound was a scream. His scream. Ezra could feel cold tendrils of darkness poking around, prodding at the small light in the center of Ezra's mind, and Ezra tried to push them away. The sound grew louder, filling Ezra's head, and a part of him registered that he was in a lot of pain, but it was almost as if his mind was detached from his body; logically, he knew he was in pain, but he simply could not feel it anymore.
The dark tendrils gathered together and lunged forward; a stabbing pain erupted through Ezra's entire being; and with one last desperate attempt to make the dark go away, Ezra felt something inside himself snap. Suddenly, there was pain, and heat, and Ezra thought he must be on fire, he must be dying, because no one can possibly feel this amount of pain and still live, right? Then, everything stopped, and Ezra felt himself slip into blissful unconsciousness.