AN: So here is chapter 2 I suppose.

I'm running out of smartass-y things to write here.

Jiraiya eyed Naruto as he ate his breakfast. The kid looked exhausted; his blue eyes were shadowed by the deep mark characteristic of lack of sleep and his face was marred by a somber look. The Toad Sage had obviously heard his apprentice toss and turn for the entire night, apparently incapable of finding his place of rest. He had a rough idea of what was going on in the boy's mind and he knew it was not pleasant.

Jiraiya ruminated on Fukasaku's words as he chewed on whatever he had put together this morning. Facing oneself was indeed not easy and painful. It had to be doubly so for Naruto.

The disheveled blond combed a hair through his hair and with a sigh of mixed disgust and annoyance, dropped his food on the ground before getting up and searching through his backpack. With a grunt, the boy fished a cup of instant ramen from the depths of the haversack.

Jiraiya could not help but cock one of his eyebrow at the sight. He kept to himself as Naruto left to fetch some water and observed silently when the boy put the kettle over the fire, waiting for its whistle. A few minutes later, Naruto poured the boiling water in his cup and played the waiting game again, his face scrunched in apparent displeasure.

The Toad Sage chuckled. He looked so much like his mother right now, it was not even funny. Jiraiya did not know why he was even laughing. A pang of hurt from a wound that had never healed made him shudder and the man had to blink.

The thought led him to more unpleasant considerations. He had pulled a second all-nighter himself, agonizing yet again about what he was going to tell the boy. Naruto was a young boy becoming an adult; a ninja what was more, Jiraiya could not keep coddling him. Not that the boy had ever been coddled, the Toad Sage muttered to himself.

His sensei had kept the boy's burden a secret from Naruto until a traitor had taken advantage of it, nearly killing his godson in the act. That was not coddling, that was not protecting. That was putting Naruto in danger and what for?

The guilt that weighed on his heart in an effort to crush it was Jiraiya's answer. Why had his sensei not revealed the secret earlier, taken the bull by its horns when the little he had done had so obviously failed? Jiraiya had contemplated the question for the entire night and his conclusions had been highly unpleasant.

He refused to believe his sensei could be so hypocritical but after all, "the village comes first" had been the code the man had lived by. If the price to pay was one little boy… Jiraiya huffed and shook his head. It was pointless to contemplate the deeds of dead men. The important was the now, the important was the people who were still alive.

A slurping sound broke the Toad Sage from his musing and he gazed as his godson inhaled noodles with a look of pure concentration on his face, all traces of his previously dark disposition completely gone and replaced by simple contentment.

Jiraiya decided to take advantage of the boy's apparently better disposition. "What do you want to do today, Naruto?"

"Huh?" The boy sent the Toad Sage a confused look.

"For training. What do you want to train in?"

Naruto slowly slurped the noodles that were hanging from his lips and chewed slowly before swallowed it down. "Don't you… Like… Tell me what to do, Pervy-sage?"

Jiraiya shook his head. "No. Do you know why?"

The boy reflexively shrugged his shoulders to show his ignorance. The Toad Sage frowned minutely. "Naruto?"

"Yeah, what is it?" The blond boy answered in-between two mouthfuls of ramen.

"Why do you do that?" Jiraiya asked, keeping his voice neutral and doing his best to radiate patience. Taking a solid stick, he stirred the ashes and awoke the fire.

"Do what?"

"I ask you a question yet rather than to try and answer it, you immediately say that you don't know. Why?" The Toad Sage clarified, his voice still carefully blank, looking at the blond boy intently from the corner of his eyes.

Naruto's face visibly darkened again and he stopped his meal. Jiraiya was strangely grateful; the sound of noodles being slurped up was grating.

"'Cause I don't know the answer, obviously." The boy muttered aloud with a sulky expression.

"You do not attempt to look for it," corrected Jiraiya with all the gentleness he could summon, looking from the fire to the boy. "I would like to know why?"

"I'm the dead-last, remember? I'm too stupid to come up with answers, that's Sakura's job."

The Toad Sage frowned and reclined on his seat - an upturned tree stump. "I was the dead-last too, you know?"

Surprise widened Naruto's blue eyes and his mouth arched in a disbelieving "o", his sour mood momentarily forgotten. Jiraiya chuckled. "Yep, dead-last. The class clown. I'm an orphan like you, so anything was good to get noticed."

Naruto kept silent, drinking the words of his teacher like they were the sweetest things he had ever drank. A small, comforting warmth blossomed in his chest. His teacher knew.

"It was war though, so I was let out of the Academy early with Tsunade and Orochimaru." Jiraiya continued, a wistful expression painted on his face. "And Hiruzen Sarutobi became our leader."

The blond boy simply stayed silent but the Toad Sage could see that Naruto was hanging at his every word.

"Our sensei was also the Hokage though, so we had to rely on ourselves a lot. Orochimaru… He is a genius you know. Everything came easily to him. Tsunade isn't a half-wit either and she had her family to support her. Me on the other hand, I had no one and I had spent too much time clowning around to have the necessary discipline and method to become a good ninja."

Silence feel on the clearing as Jiraiya saw the ghosts of a distant past dance in front of his eyes, reflected in the indifferent joy of the crackling fire. Naruto swallowed thickly, waiting for the rest.

"I was like you. I didn't even try to find the answer to the questions I was asked. Because if I didn't, then someone would come take care of me and explain to me. They would pay attention to me. With sensei, however, it wasn't possible. Between his duty as the Hokage and his two other students, he couldn't give me his full time." A piece of wood cracked and splintered in its middle. "I was resentful at first. Orochimaru didn't need sensei, he was a genius anyway, and Tsunade had the support of her family. Sensei should have been here for me. It was only fair. That's what I thought at least."

"What then?" Naruto prodded, curiosity winning over modesty.

"It took two years. We were eight and the war dwindled in its intensity even if it did not stop and sensei took me for a month. He gave me the two most important lessons of my life." Jiraiya explained with a melancholic smile.

Naruto waited, vibrating with excitement at the thought of being imparted with the wisdom of a Kage. He was disappointed, however, when Jiraiya simply looked at him and pinned him with a stare.

"So, Naruto, why do you do it?" The Toad Sage asked, repeating his original question.

The blond boy sputtered and recoiled before he averted his eyes, his face marred with a scowl. "I told you, I'm stupid anyways."

Jiraiya sighed. "I know it is painful for you Naruto but it's not a weakness to admit to your feelings. It is also part of your training, remember?"

The scowls deepened and the blond gritted his teeth, his hands clenching nervously into fists.

"You can take your time to think about it. Just know that I won't teach you anything until you answer. As a man, you'll need to answer the questions on your own." Jiraiya rose from his seated position on the ground and dusted himself before he fished for a little notebook and pencil in his own haversack. Flipping through the pages, he mumbled some incomprehensible things and giggled when he found what he was looking for.

"I'll be by the river writing if you want to talk." He offered, only for Naruto to twist and turn his back on him. Deciding it wise to allow the boy time and space for reflection and maybe vent what he was feeling, the man walked away from the clearing.

Naruto waited for a full minute after Jiraiya was gone and until he could not sense the man before he jumped on his feet and crossed his fingers. Smoke erupted from nowhere and a dozen replicas of the blond appeared when it dissipated.

"What does he know, huh? What does he know?!" The original boy exclaimed suddenly. "He isn't like me!" He screamed himself hoarse before turning a glare to one of his clones. With a scream of rage, he lunged at himself and punched, hard.

The replica exploded in smoke at the hit and the others bellowed a war-cry before piling up on Naruto in a brutal melee.

Hidden in a tree, Jiraiya and Fukasaku were looking at the violent brawl with a critical eye.

"If I wasn't against doing barstool psychology, I would say this is an accurate metaphor of what the boy is going through," Jiraiya said without a hint of humor in his voice.

The elderly toad chuckled nonetheless. "Really, now? And what is he going through?"

"He is fighting himself."

Fukasaku cocked one bushy white eyebrow. "Is he?"

Jiraiya tore his gaze from the sight of his apprentice pitted against himself and eyed the toad. "You're saying he isn't?" He asked incredulously, gesturing toward the scene.

"I'm saying I don't do barstool psychology." The toad deadpanned.

That got a chuckle from the Toad Sage. "You got me here."

"There is no doubt Naruto-boy is conflicted but that is expected. However, do not confuse your experiences with his. You certainly did not live his life."

Jiraiya nodded. "Will you be here tomorrow?"

"Of course. Now if you'll excuse me, Bunta asked me to help him with young Kishi. It seems younglings take reluctantly to philosophy." The toad explained with a mirthful little grin.

Jiraiya groaned as the toad disappeared in a burst of smoke, returning to the sacred lands of Mount Myoboku. The Toad Sage darted from his roost in the tree and walked toward the river, already sketching lewd things in his little notebook.

When the following day came, Jiraiya saw Naruto was even more exhausted than the day before. The dark marks over his eyes were deep and the boy was only up because his body had reflexively started awake. He was visibly nodding off. The Toad Sage chewed on his breakfast before he summoned Fukasaku once again. The toad had a spring in his step when he sauntered toward the camp.

"The philosophy lesson was successful?" Jiraiya asked with a small grin and a cocked eyebrow.

"Very. Young Kishi shows promises when he is properly motivated."

The Toad Sage chuckled. "You hid his sweets, didn't you?"

"Precisely," answered the elder toad, popping a small round something in his mouth. "Hm, exquisite. How are you today, Naruto-boy?" The toad asked, having reached the campfire in front of which Naruto was fighting to stay awake.

The blond mumbled something that ended with "Fukasaku-sensei" and blinked fast to stay awake.

The toad hummed. "Why don't you go back to sleep, my boy? We won't achieve anything with you like that."

The blond growled something in a yawn. "Can't. Must train."

"With what energy? No, Naruto. Sleep and you can train once you are rested."

Naruto rose from his seat abruptly, glaring at the elder toad. "I'm fine," he protested venomously, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"You're obviously not. You can barely stay on your feet and the lack of sleep is making you aggressive. You won't learn anything like this, only exhaust yourself more." Fukasaku rebuked before turning away and nodding to Jiraiya.

"Wait!" The call stopped the elder toad in his tracks and made him turn. Naruto was looking at him pleadingly, his arms uselessly hanging by his side, tears of fatigue glistening in his eyes. "Please. I can't… I can't sleep. I close my eyes and I see him. He stabs me again and again and again." The boy's voice broke, strained by the exhaustion into a dying murmur. His head was throbbing, his throat was painfully tight, constricted by an urge to cry his complete weariness.

The dam broke when Jiraiya enlaced the boy with his strong arms and pressed him against his chest. "There. it's okay to cry Naruto. It's okay," soothed the man gently, rubbing the blond's boy in circles.

When Naruto awoke, the heavenly arch was sprinkled with countless stars, all shining brightly. He felt warm and relaxed, rested. He turned on his side and stared into the dancing flames of the little fire camp. His nose tingled and twitched when the rich smell of food caressed his nostrils.

"How do you feel?"

Naruto started slightly at the sound of Jiraiya's voice. It had been so peaceful, he had not even felt the man seated beside him. The blond stretched. "Better." He admitted. "Hum, Pervy-sage, about earlier…"

"When I first killed a man," interrupted Jiraiya, "I had nightmares for a week."

Naruto fell silent and accepted the piece of information for what it meant. "It's okay." The boy swallowed thickly and sat himself up next to his teacher.

Silence fell between the two, colored only by the sounds of the forest: here the melodious song of an owl, there the rustling of a bush, and sometimes a shrill cry.

"What are those?" Naruto questioned.

"Those what?" Jiraiya asked in return, playing with the fire.

"Those… Weird whistling sounds?"

"Oh. Bats. They hunt with sound, or so Fukusaku says."

The blond's eyes widened in wonder. "Really?"

"Yup. You can ask him more tomorrow if you want."

Naruto fell silent for a few seconds. "He knows a lot, doesn't he?"

"Fukusaku? More than you can hope to learn in your entire life. He is old you know, one of the oldest toads of Mount Myoboku."

"He is really toad gramps, then," Naruto said petulantly, a small smile curving his lips nonetheless. The gears in the brain of the boy took another second to work the meaning of his teacher's words. "Wait, he isn't the oldest?" He exclaimed suddenly.

"Gamamaru, the Farseer, is. He is also completely senile."

"Se-nile?"

Jiraiya pointed at his temple with his index finger and moved it in circles. "He is not all there in the head."

"So he is like, crazy old but for real?"

The Toad Sage chuckled. "Yup, you can say that. He is always smoking his pipe; if he doesn't, he slobbers everywhere."

"Yuck." Naruto grimaced. The thought of a giant toad covering everything in viscous saliva was not appealing.

"Don't tell anyone I said that." The man said seriously.

Naruto grinned. "I dunno. Maybe if you stop peeping on women, I'll consider it."

Jiraiya jumped on his feet, an exaggerated expression of hurt on his face, and pointed an accusing finger at the boy. "You'd blackmail your teacher? You have really no respect for your elders!"

Naruto jumped up himself. "Not when they are pervy!"

"It's not perving, it's art!"

"It's totally not!"

"Is too!" The Sage retorted childishly.

"Is not!" The boy accused in the same way.

The two glared at each other for a minute, fire and lightning erupting from their eyes. Suddenly, Jiraiya chuckled and it rapidly devolved in a full belly laugh. The mirth was contagious as soon enough, Naruto started laughing too.

The Toad Sage plopped back down on the stump that he was using as a seat and wiped a tear before staring at the fire. The blond's laughing fit calmed eventually and as he slowly collected himself, he looked at his teacher. Naruto startled at the long face Jiraiya was making.

The man was unseeing, his gaze darkened and lost in recollections of memories reflected by the fire, images of a past only he could see.

"Pervy Sage?"

The man took a long shuddering breath. "We used to have the same argument with your mother."

The world stopped and slapped Naruto in the face. Air was caught in his throat, refusing to permeate his lungs. His heart was drumming against his ears. His knees were suddenly made of wool and the blond had to sit down.

"What?" It came out as a whisper, so low not even he heard it.

"Her name was Kushina. Kushina Uzumaki and she was one fiery woman," explained Jiraiya. And suddenly, the Toad Sage was retelling to the son the many feats and exploits of the mother.

The moon rose, went down, the sky turned and the stars danced to the infinite tune of time and it was morning when Jiraiya stopped speaking. Naruto had the feeling his head was ready to explode. His ears were buzzing, his throat was dry and hurting, his eyes blind and wet, but worst of all, his heart was trying to tear itself in several pieces. He had a hand clenched over his chest, feeling out his flesh desperately for the hole that had been drilled through it, trying to keep the wound closed but nothing worked.

He had a mother.

Everyone had a mother, that was so obvious. Naruto, however, was that boy. The perfect thing to saddle with a burden that would have broken anyone else. He did not have a mother, he was not supposed to. Who would have carried that boy within their belly? Who could have conceived that boy? Who would have even wanted that boy? He was no one, spawned from the fire fanned by the Kyuubi's flaming tails.

He howled. Tears were burning his cheeks and a sob racked his body so hard he had to curve in a ball to contain the hurt. He had a mother.

He had dreamed of one, beautiful and gentle and strong and caring and turning her back on him, screaming that he was not her boy, her face morphing into a nightmarish vision only his mind could conjure. He had searched the Uzumaki name through countless scrolls only to find nothing. He was no one, spawned from the pyre lit by the Kyuubi's fiery breath.

Strong hands ensnared his shoulders and pulled him against something steady. He cried and trashed and screamed until the bloated well of sorrow was exhausted.

He had been denied at every turn, never answered in his quest for her; fleeting ghost, unknown fairy, she had escaped him again and again until he had grown tired. Until he had been convinced that he was nothing but that boy. Until he had accepted that he was no one, spawned by the smoldering remains* of the Kyuubi's attack.

He had a mother.

Naruto fell asleep, his face marred with tears and his throat sore but with a smile on his lips.

AN: I hope you enjoyed. Leave a review if you feel like it and let me know if you caught any mistake.

*This information has been fished from another fanfiction: Unbiased, by EvilFuzzy9 and completed by me. (Sources: wiktionarydotcom and tangorindotcom.)

The middle kanji used to write jinchuuriki (人柱力) "柱", pronounced "chuu" means "bridge". One other possible pronunciation is "hashira" which means "pillar". However, "hashira" is also used as a counter and when used like that, it can refer to gods, buddhas, or... cremated remains.

So yes, this was an extremely dark play on words.