5. Sasuke

Sasuke didn't think he actually knew his brother after all.

Beforethatday, if he had been questioned on his brother, Sasuke would have waxed poetic about how strong his big brother was and how even after his missions, he still took the time to spend time with his little brother. He would have described how Itachi had never once forgotten Sasuke like their father had and how despite his early graduation, he still taught him with patience and kindness. If asked, Sasuke would probably have described his brother as kind and brave before anything else.

It really was unbelievable how one night made present tense turn to past.

Now, he couldn't think of his brother's strength without remembering it turned against him and the scenes that were burned into his mind like a macabre brand. He couldn't help but go over their interactions to try and see exactly how Itachi planned to teach him so that the small boy could prove to be a challenge to fight like the older demanded.

When he heard people claim that hindsight was 20/20, he had to physically bite his tongue to stop himself from demanding they explain exactly what he had never managed to see in the lifetime he spent with Itachi. Where was his psychosis when he picked his brother up from the Academy with a gentle smile? Where was his obsession with power when he declared that Shisui was just as powerful if not more, than himself? Where was his supposed disloyalty when he sat Sasuke down on the Hokage Monument and showed him just how wonderful the village was? And by the gods,where was his so called ruthlessness when he knew that Itachi had hated the shinobi arts with all his heart?

Alone in the massive compound of the Uchiha clan that was now just two broken brothers, Sasuke forced himself to learn to live with the ghosts. He watched every morning as the ghostly memory of his mother made breakfast, meals he dared not touch himself. He forced himself faster, stronger, swifter as he felt the eyes of his father on him during his practices. He tried not to cry as the spectral apparition of Shisui teased him for his height and Shunshined away from his retribution.

More than them, he tried not to watch Itachi's ghost.

He had no desire to mourn a living man, let alone one that had taken so much from him without a reason he could bring himself to accept. He wanted no part in whatever vengeance Itachi had chosen to take against the Uchiha but found himself bearing its weight anyway. He didn't want to cry for the brother he lost because the knowledge that it was change not death that had stolen his sibling was a fact couldn't escape.

He didn't want to mourn Itachi.

But he still saw the gentle smile in the corner of his eye and heard the rare chuckle that Itachi afforded his more rambunctious actions. He still saw the dango sticks littered in the corners of the house where Father wouldn't see them. He still heard Itachi calling him 'little brother', without the mocking undertone. He still felt the ghost of a touch in his forehead when he fell and the arms that helped him up. He couldn't forget how Itachi would apologise when he was too busy to teach him, the thud of his fingers on his forehead ringing in the too-silent compound and the soft words, "Sorry Sasuke, another time?"

He hated Itachi's ghost but he loved him just the same. He hated how it reminded him of what he lost but ensured he didn't lose the memories that made him. He wanted to hate Itachi but his own knowledge wouldn't let him because he knew that Itachi wasn't a psychopathic killer. He hated the ghosts but he loved how they made him feel a little less lonely all the same.

He watched as the rest of the village lost sight of the ghosts, how they stopped turning to the friends that were no longer there, how a new weapons shop opened in place of the one in the district, how the torches that were lit during the Izanagi festival were packed away, how the red and white fan gradually disappeared from the village and how the bone white raven mask was collected from Shisui's rooms. He watched them forget but he didn't let himself do the same because as much as Itachi had loved the village, Sasuke had always loved the clan.

And Itachi had. Loved the village, that is. Sasuke knew you couldn't fake the kind of devotion that he had seen in his brother's eyes when Itachi had carried him to the top of the Yondaime's sculpted head and pointed out the hundreds of people, bustling about in the Village. The way he had sounded so much happier than he had ever been at home under the setting sun just watching over Konoha.

There was nothing that would have turned Itachi against Konoha which meant that the Massacre had to have been retribution against the clan and that... that was what Sasuke couldn't forgive.

What sin had the entirety of the clan commited? And how horrible did the actions have to be that Konoha's most loyal protector was willing to turn his back on her to punish it? What terrible deed had he been complicit in, for why else would Itachi have tortured him in his Tsukiyomi, and why did he have no recollection of it? He knew the capabilities of the Sharingan, every Uchiha did, but he had never realised just how deadly it was. What did it say about the doujutsu, that he, a member of one of the most prideful clans, would rather surrender in dishonour than face it again?

He could hardly admit to himself that despite the challenge Itachi had given him on the night of the Massacre, he did not want the deadly eyes that had turned Itachi into what he was. The spinning pinwheel on a blood red background were seared into Sasuke's nightmares and though he would never let Itachi know, the worst ones were always when he bore the same eyes.

Because if they could turn his older brother who was kind and honourable into the monster who stalked his memories, then what would they do to the broken boy who wanted tohate?

And so he would have to disobey. Without the eyes but with the burning well of hate and love in equal measure, Sasuke would confront Itachi. Not for his death, not for revenge, not for sacrifice but for a reason. He knew he wouldn't forget that night, couldn't forgive the crime but maybe he might understand it and ultimately be forced to accept it.

He wouldn't accept any apologies and no matter what Itachi said, there would be no other time.

AN- I really wanted Sasuke to focus on the clan side of things and get closest to the actual reason because he knows Itachi best of all.I think canon Sasuke forced himself to forget Itachi and hyperfocus on the night of the Massacre to push himself so the only difference in this Sasuke is that he allowed himself to remember the big brother he lost and realise that the story doesn't match up.Leave a review or favourite if you like it. Follow to catch the last chapter. Thanks for reading!The last chapter is when Itachi comes back to the village and everyone realises the truth. Hope youEnjoy!~Teaspoon