Chapter 22: Like Dark Chocolate

Even after numerous protests on his part, the headmaster had still insisted on holding that stupid ball, and so now Severus felt like a fumbling school boy as he waited for his apprentice at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the Head Girl suite.

Underneath his long dressing robes, he was wearing an old suit which he had dug out from somewhere in the depths of his closet. He had originally acquired it shortly before joining the Dark Lord's ranks, and between then and now, the war had battered his body so terribly that the ensemble looked almost too baggy on him. He had also tried to tame his ever-greasy hair using several cosmetic potions before tying it together with a thin leather band at the nape of his neck. It still looked way too oily; however, it was at least somewhat presentable.

Wiping his sweaty hands on his black robes, the Potions Master was walking in circles anxiously. He was so nervous that his stomach clenched up in knots. The thought of having to dance with Hermione, of having to be so extremely close to her had kept him up all night, causing him to get not an ounce of sleep. Under normal circumstances, school functions were nothing but a nuisance to him. But tonight's event had him breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking about it. Never before had he felt this tense, had he been this afraid of failing – failing and messing up the closest thing to a proper date he would ever have with the newfound love of his life.

Driving the sharp nails of his slender fingers into his forearms, he realised that he could not go through with it. He simply could not. But just as he was about to turn around and make a run for it, he suddenly heard the sound of her heels hitting the stone steps of the spiral staircase – click, click – getting louder and louder each time. Severus inhaled sharply and before he had any more time to adequately prepare himself, she appeared in his field of vision and completely blew him away.

Her light brown locks were done into a romantic braided updo, with a few curly strands pulled out to frame her face. Her makeup was dramatic, combining perfectly winged eyeliner with a deep red lip, but it still suited her well. Accessories, on the other hand, had been kept to a minimum, with only a pair of small crystal studs in her ears and a dainty white gold bracelet around her left wrist. But the most breath-taking part of her look was definitely the dress – made of flowing satin so very dark green that it looked almost black, it seemed to hug her curves and fall loosely on her body all at the same time. The straps made of thin silver chains seemed so delicate that they could not possibly hold up such a heavy gown yet somehow, they did. And between the plunging neckline and a subtle ruche slit showing off one of her bare legs, Severus did not know where to look without turning scarlet red.

"Good evening, sir."

Her soft-spoken words caused his head to snap up in surprise, tearing his eyes away from her voluptuous figure. Wow – she was truly so striking, even more so as she offered him another one of her characteristic shy smiles. Severus was so captivated by her allure that he was at a loss for words, and she must have misinterpreted that silence.

"What? Don't you like it?" Hermione asked before giving him a little twirl.

It was only then that he noticed that the long dress was backless except for a winding snake made of silver metal which stretched from between her prominent shoulder blades all the way down to her lower back and was attached to the gown with nothing more than about a dozen fine chains. She looked like a piece of art. Severus could not help but feel extremely ugly next to her, wearing his dusty, old suit.

"You look … beautiful!"

The words had left his mouth before he had had the chance to control himself, and for a split second, he was scared that he had come on too strong. But then Hermione let out a giggle so adorable that it made his heart jump with joy. Maybe this evening would not be that bad after all, he thought. Swallowing nervously, he offered her his arm and felt a rush of adrenaline shoot through his body at her touch before the pair walked off in the direction of the Great Hall.

"You know, ever since you know what happened, I've been feeling kind of down and not like myself. But tonight, I'm actually having fun for the first time in weeks," Ginny said as she stood in front of the dirty bathroom mirror, carefully tracing her top lip with a mauve-coloured lip liner which she had fished out of her clutch bag. The freckled beauty was looking absolutely stunning this evening – she was wearing a form-fitting, off-the-shoulder gown made of red silk, which went surprisingly well with the shade of her hair and made her look almost like one of those old movie stars. Her waist-length locks had been charmed into beautiful waves, and her bright brown eyes were accentuated with lots of eyeliner, giving them a sultry look. "And while it was bloody awkward, of course, I do have to admit that McGonagall's pretty good at dancing. It surprised me, really."

"Well, the two of you definitely didn't look half as weird as Hagrid and Luna did," Hermione replied laughing as she readjusted the tangled straps of her dress. "Or Harry and Remus, honestly."

Once done retouching her makeup, Ginny turned around and faced her with a big grin. "Anyhow, now that we're finally alone: how is it being Snape's date?"

Hermione's skin instantly started to burn. "I don't think you can really call it a date when both parties were practically forced into it …" she mumbled.

"Oh, please! Whatever the context, for tonight, you're his date and he's yours – you're allowed to enjoy that!"

"Didn't you say that I'd better stay away from him?"

"Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't have some fun every once in a while!"

Hermione sighed. "I don't know, Gin. Professor Snape is clearly hating all of this. I mean, he's barely even talking to me!"

The redhead rolled her eyes dramatically. "Seriously, you need to stop doubting yourself all the time. If anything, the reason why he's being shy is because you're the most gorgeous girl of the ball. Not even a Dungeon Bat like him is immune to that, trust me. And besides, you can't tell me that you didn't love dancing with him, either. I saw that look you had on your face!"

Hermione pursed her lips. "I mean, it was pretty nice! He's not the best dancer, but neither am I; and I think we did a pretty good job for that. But it was honestly just too awkward with everyone staring at us."

"Well, you never know what the rest of the night might bring," the younger girl said with a wink before grabbing her hand. "Come on, let's get back out there!"

They left the bathroom and walked through a deserted corridor before entering the Great Hall. The party was still in full swing – everyone was either sitting at their table eating or mingling on the dance floor, and Hermione laughed aloud when she saw Professor Flitwick standing on a wooden box so that he would be tall enough to be able to dance with the school's librarian. The two friends fought their way through the crowd to the other side of the room before parting ways; the staff table as well as the four long House tables had been replaced by countless smaller, circular ones distributed along the walls of the gigantic hall, and they and their respective tutors had been sat at different ones. She and Professor Snape shared one with Madam Pomfrey, Professor Sprout, Hannah Abbott and Neville Longbottom – the latter had instantly turned as white as a ghost once he had realised that.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione walked over to the table and sat down in the empty chair between the Hogwarts matron and Professor Snape, who acknowledged her with a simple nod. He was looking downright dashing tonight – while he already made her heart flutter under normal conditions, this evening, she felt like throwing up butterflies. With his long, jet-black hair tied back like this, she was able to see features of his face which prior to that had always been hidden, and she definitely liked what she saw. As expected, his suit and velvet robes were black as coal, and they complimented his towering, slim figure nicely. The only pop of colour was provided by the deep red regency cravat around his neck, which he wore instead of the standard bow tie that pretty much every other male was sporting; it gave him a handsome, vintage look.

Trying to distract herself from the criminally attractive man sitting next to her, she picked up the menu. As she studied it, she could hear Professor Sprout try to engage her tutor in a conversation about the new weatherproof foxglove bed she had recently started behind one of the greenhouses, but he simply blew her off, and that made Hermione smile on the inside. She had come to love his snarky personality. Sometimes, she even wished that she was a bit more like him; being such a big people-pleaser definitely made her life a lot harder than it needed to be at times.

Having read over the menu card several times, she finally decided on the five-spice beef stew, and just like at the Yule Ball, the dish appeared in front of her in an instant. She made sure to put her cloth napkin on her lap before eating a few spoonfuls, and it was delicious, of course, just like anything else the house elves prepared. But even so, she still could not properly enjoy the meal. Her nerves had settled in her stomach and made her not want to eat. She had been feeling uneasy ever since receiving Professor Dumbledore's letter, and yesterday evening, that had turned into full-blown anxiety. Being your crush's date sounded nice in theory, but in actuality, it just made you feel uncomfortable and insecure – and so the witch simply picked at her food.

All of a sudden, she felt someone's breath on her neck.

"Hermione, are you okay?" she heard Professor Snape whisper, quiet enough so no one else could hear him. His breath felt icy-cold against her slightly clammy skin. "You are hardly eating."

The young woman let out a small gasp, embarrassed by his sudden approach but at the same time touched that he would care enough to notice her lack of appetite. Beneath the table, one of her hands clenched the delicate fabric of her gown.

"Everything's fine. I'm just feeling a bit dizzy. I guess it's a little too stuffy in here for me," she lied.

"Would you perhaps like to go outside to get some fresh air then?" he asked softly.

Her look wandered to the enchanted ceiling above them which was covered with dark clouds. "But it's raining."

He thought for a moment. "Follow me," he then answered before abruptly standing up and walking away.

Taken a bit by surprise, it took Hermione a few seconds until she too got up and followed him, disregarding the curious looks of the people around them. Her teacher silently led her out of the Great Hall and through a maze full of twists and turns before finally coming to a halt in front of a tiny side door which she had oddly never noticed before. He pushed it open, allowing a gush of freezing cold air to invade the castle, and gestured for her to go first.

Frowning, she took a cautious step forward and soon found herself standing on the paved top of a small hill, right underneath an old and very big oak tree which had branches so numerous and long that they overstretched the mound completely and protected it from the rain. From up here, one had a great view over the school's entire grounds all the way down to the Quidditch pitch.

"Wow," Hermione breathed, mesmerised by the sight of the sunset's reflection on the waters of the Black Lake. "It's beautiful! How did you find this place?"

"I discovered it during my first year teaching," Professor Snape replied as he walked past her and sat down on the brittle bench which encircled the tree. "It is one of my favourite places here at Hogwarts, but I don't think that many people actually know about. At least I have never seen anyone else here."

Stealthily turning her face away from him, she broke into a secret grin – she felt honoured that he would share this with her. She sat down next to him, and for a while, they remained closemouthed. Even though it had been a remarkably mild winter without any snow so far, the temperature was still very low, and Hermione probably should have been freezing at this point, wearing nothing but a thin dress. But to be perfectly honest, she was too much in her head to feel anything. While she always loved getting the chance to spend time with her professor, she did not really know how to act in this moment.

Only once the sun was finally setting behind the treetops of the Forbidden Forest and nightfall began to take over did she work up the nerve to break the quiet. "You know, I did not expect it, but the ball's actually quite nice. If only it wasn't for everyone gawping at us, especially while we're dancing …"

Professor Snape lifted his head and looked at her. "We could dance here if you'd like."

"What?"

"I said that we could dance here." His tone was cold, but inside his heart had dropped into his gut. Severus did not know why he had made such a suggestion. Yet again, his words had come out faster than he had been able to think; she seemed to have that effect on him. "It would be the perfect place. There aren't any unwanted spectators, and, albeit faint, we can still hear the music from the Great Hall."

"You would really do that for me?" Her face was unreadable.

"Yes." He was sure that she could hear how tremulous his voice was. "Yes, of course."

The contemplative look she gave him made him want to wince. Why was she taking so long with her answer?

"Okay," she finally said in a hushed tone before rising. "Let's dance."

Severus felt like a bundle of nerves as he also stood up, his legs almost refusing to cooperate. Oh Merlin, they were actually going to do this! The two of them turned towards each other and were just about to reach out for one another's arms when the music unexpectantly changed from classical to very slow and romantic. For a few seconds, they shared an awkward look. But then – to both his dismay and delight – the Gryffindor stepped forward and carefully rested her hands on his shoulders and her forehead in the crook of his neck.

Alarmed by how much more intimate this dance was compared to the first one they had shared, Severus suffered agonising pounding in his temples as he pulled her into his embrace. She was so tiny that she nearly disappeared within his dark robes. As they started to dance, he was able to feel the curious dichotomy of the warmth of her skin and the cold of her gown's metal backpiece underneath his fingers. He had to admit that irregardless of how jittery their proximity was making him, it was still so nice to have his little witch this close to him, to experience her with all of his senses, far, far away from the curious looks of any pesky pupils – or headmasters, for that matter.

Severus thought that he must be dreaming. This did not feel like they were simply a teacher and a student sharing an ordinary dance at some stuffy school function. No, it felt like they were two lovers holding each other in the moonlight underneath thousands of stars. Two hugs they had already shared – well, three if you counted the night they had inadvertently spent together all those months ago – but yet her mere presence still had the same profound effect on him. He was embarrassed to admit it, but he had to suppress the urge to just whisk her away to his bedroom, lay her down and do unspeakable things to her body.

He knew that he was playing with fire, that he should just turn around and leave before he completely lost control. Oh, but she was looking just so painfully beautiful tonight, almost like a forbidden fruit – maybe he could dare to take just one little bite?

Hermione could not have described the way he smelled even if she had tried. Years of exposure to potion fumes had given the wizard a one-of-a-kind scent; an aroma which was so weirdly familiar to her yet so foreign at the same time. He smelled like a mixture of French vanilla and myrrh combined with cedarwood and lavender, like fresh cut grass and the salty haze of the seaside. Somehow, it even reminded her of that one summer she had spent with her parents at a family friend's vacation home in the south of Italy. It made her recall the cigar tobacco which her father had used to only ever smoke while on holiday and the citrusy Limoncello her mother had once drunk in that cute, little restaurant at the beach. It was a very complex scent, unlike anything she had ever smelled before, but she liked it.

The girl carefully nestled the side of her face against his large chest, close enough to where she could hear the steady beat of his heart. His thick robes which had swirled around his legs so majestically during their first dance now engulfed them both, protecting her from the cold. Her soul silently rejoiced as the two of them began to slowly sway to the rhythm of the muffled music.

Hermione knew that it meant nothing, of course; that this dance was only a friendly, platonic gesture on his part. But she would be damned if she did not enjoy it wholeheartedly. Whether it was delusional or not, she felt like she was the only thing in the entire universe that mattered to him right now, and that was marvellous. The war had left her with a lot of demons and had forced her to come to terms with the fact that she would never not feel uneasy – but at this exact moment, embraced by his strong arms, she felt safe, completely and utterly safe.

"Do you like this?" Professor Snape suddenly asked, causing her to pull back a little and look up at his face. "Compared to the first dance, I mean." Somehow, there was an endearing nervousness in his voice.

"Yeah," replied Hermione. "It's lovely."

And when the corners of his mouth lifted a little at that, her heart felt so incredibly full – there was not anything she wanted more than to see him happy. Without thinking, she reached out and casually tucked a strand of hair that had become loose and fallen into his face behind his ear, letting her knuckles linger on his cheek for just a tad bit too long before pulling back.

The way he was looking at her – no man had ever looked at her like that. His black eyes were locked with hers, and he was so close that she could see her own reflection in his dilated pupils. If she had not known better, Hermione would have thought that Professor Snape's gaze was full of something more, something which normally only filled her wildest dreams; regardless, it made her heart stop. And for some reason, she also suddenly felt out of breath, almost as though she had just run a half marathon. Was she just imagining it or was his face gradually coming closer to hers? And why was it that his eyes kept wandering to her lips?

Neither of them realised it, but they had stopped dancing a long time ago.

The touch of her fingers felt electric. Severus struggled to ignore how her round, heart-shaped face was close enough that he could have counted each individual freckle on her cute, little button nose if he had wanted to. He shuddered. All he could do was to stare into those beautiful honey-coloured eyes of hers. For probably the first time in his entire life, his overactive mind had become blank. There were no thoughts in his head, because all that mattered in that moment was them, him and her, joined in that sweet, sweet embrace. It was like time had slowed down or become completely non-existent, like the world had stopped turning for just them.

His heart was beating so fast and loud that he could hear his own pulse thumping in his ears. His gaze wandered from her eyes down to her mouth, and it looked so tempting that he nearly passed out. Everything inside him screamed no, begged him to just push her away. But the gravity of her full lips was simply inescapable. He subconsciously leaned forward until their faces were only a finger-width away from each other. He could feel her warm breath on his skin, and it him goose bumps all over. He kept telling himself that everything was okay, that nothing had happened yet and that he could pull back at any time as he kept getting closer and closer – and then suddenly their lips met.

The kiss instantly sparked off a riot coming from the panicked voices inside his head, but it was like Severus was having an out-of-body experience with no control over his own actions. For a long, drawn-out moment, it felt like he had fallen to the ground from an enormous height, knocking every wisp of air from his lungs upon impact and causing him to struggle to inhale, to exhale, to do anything. But then, it came almost instinctively, his grip around her narrow waist tightened as he brought up one hand to the back of her head, holding it in place as he pressed his mouth against hers even more forcefully. Her lips were chapped – no doubt from all the biting – but they felt heavenly nonetheless. And when she parted them just ever so slightly to let out a silent moan, his tongue darted out to trace them. She tasted like dark chocolate – kind of bitter but oh so sweet at the same time. It nearly drove him insane, it was that good.

Grunting when he felt her arms wrap around his neck, he decided to be bold. He took her bottom lip between his worn teeth, getting high on the choked breath she drew in response. The arm around her midriff gradually wandered lower, its digits brushing against her buttocks, and she reacted by digging her manicured fingers into his shoulders so hard that he was sure there would be bruises tomorrow – not that he cared. She was getting him drunk without a sip of alcohol, and Severus wordlessly begged her to keep kissing him until he forgot how terrified he was of everything wrong with his life.

Hermione was not his first kiss, no, not even close. But she felt like the first kiss that truly mattered.

The first thing she noticed was how surprisingly soft his lips were. Only after another second or two did she realise that she was, in fact, kissing her teacher, personal tutor and crush.

At first, she froze, not knowing how to react. Should she reciprocate? Push him away? Hex herself into oblivion? But then his hand found her neck, tipping her head to create a better angle, and automatically her mind shut down. She did not know why this was happening – perhaps Professor Snape had been slipped a love potion or was under some sort of spell or maybe this was all nothing but a very realistic dream – but Hermione figured that she would deal with whatever consequences there might be later. Because this felt too good to stop.

In dire need of oxygen, she opened her lips somewhat and was instantly attacked by his tongue. Not having a lot of experience with those kinds of things, it was a weird feeling but definitely not unpleasant, and she could not help but pull him closer; hearing him groan and feeling every inch of his tall body tightly pressed against hers aroused her. It was obvious that he wanted her, and to say that that did not boost her self-confidence would have been a lie.

The piercing pain when he suddenly bit her made her gasp. However, it soon turned back into pleasure when she felt one of his hands on her bum. Overwhelmed with sensations, she clawed at his robes helplessly. But what ultimately caused her to lose all control was when he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth as he proceeded to lightly grind against her hip. A warm feeling began to spread in her lower belly, and desperate for more – even though she was not really sure what more exactly meant – she grabbed his chiselled face on both sides and crashed her mouth against his violently.

Hermione felt like she was flying on air. And perhaps the best part of it all was that her brain, which normally ran 24/7, 365 days a year, was completely void of any thoughts for once. And it was glorious – or at least, it was until the music stopped.

Reality set in as soon as the last drawn-out note had faded away, and it caused Severus to go from pure bliss to absolute horror within a fraction of a second.

His eyes flew open in shock as deafening silence engulfed them. He immediately shoved her away from him, probably a bit too roughly even, before turning around and walking away a few steps. His lips were still mourning the loss of her sweet mouth as he buried his face in his shaking hands in a bid to keep himself from screaming out in terror – he had just assaulted Hermione Granger! Granted, it had felt so very good and had probably been the most exhilarating experience of his entire life. But it was still completely wrong on so many levels! She was not only his student and apprentice but also twenty years his junior and barely even an adult! He could not believe how he could have possibly failed to restrain himself like that, how he –

"Oh god …"

Startled, Severus whirled around. Hermione's mouth was slightly ajar as she just stared at him, pale as a sheet. She looked like a picture of misery with her arms wrapped tightly around her torso like that and her lipstick all smudged. He almost could not bear to look her in the face, because her expression was just so heartbreaking. She was clearly appalled, but there was something more there, something he could not pinpoint exactly.

"Miss Granger, I –"

"OH GOD!"

And before he had time to react or say anything else, she had already spun around and run off into the rainy night.

"Hermione!" shouted Snape as he chased after her, almost tripping over his own two feet. It was so cloudy that he could hardly make out her figure in the distance. "HERMIONE!"

But soon, he lost her in the utter darkness.

Hermione fled.

The heavy rain was ruining her hair and makeup, and it was so dark that she could not see where she was going. But she did not care. All she knew was that she had to get away somehow. She could hear him call out for her from somewhere behind her, but she could not muster up the courage to turn around and face him. A faint whimper escaped her lips as she forced her short legs to move even faster.

After a while, his shouting died down; however, she still did not dare to stop and simply kept running. She had never been an athletic person, but her mind forced her body to continue, to ignore that piercing pain in her chest, that rubbery feeling in her knees, that rasping sensation in her throat. Away, just away – that was all she could think about. Away from the Potions professor and that shocked, disgusted expression on his face.

Suddenly, something caught onto her left leg. Hermione could hear the sound of her heel snapping in half and took another three or four unsteady steps before falling to the wet ground face-first. And for a while, she just laid there motionlessly as the rain drops falling down onto her lifeless form drenched her beautiful gown soaking wet. It was so bitter cold, but she did not feel the frost. She had turned numb a long time ago. A combination of dirt and grass in her mouth, she could feel something warm and sticky – most likely blood – drip down from her temple into her eye.

It felt like an eon had passed before she finally moved, slowly rolling onto her side and pulling her knees to her chest. Only then did she erupt into loud, heart-wrenching sobs. It was more than normal crying. It was the kind of uncontrolled wailing that only someone robbed of all hope could produce; that kind of full-body sobbing that made breathing so difficult to the point where it became physically painful. A mixture of runny mascara, tears and blood smeared all over her face, the young woman was slowly rocking back and forth, not caring about the mud dirtying her dress.

Hermione felt pathetic, crying like this in the middle of nowhere. But she simply could not help it. Kissing Professor Snape – that was something she had fantasised about for weeks. Her happiest reveries had been filled with that image, but she would have never thought that it was actually going to happen someday! It had always just been one of those fun things to think about in private, her dirty little secret. And now that it had actually become reality, it made her hate herself.

Hate herself, because she was now going to lose her apprenticeship, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and possibly even face expulsion.

Hate herself, because she had not shown more self-control and stupidly risked getting Professor Snape into major trouble.

Hate herself, because she had actually liked it – a lot.

Hate herself, because he had looked absolutely horrified afterwards.