Chapter 24: Ginny Weasley in: An Agony Aunt's Nightmare

"Hermione, are you really sure that everything's all right?" the Boy Who Lived asked in a troubled tone. "You've been acting quite strange lately. I mean, we have a Herbology exam next week, and you haven't yet reminded us to study for it even once!"

The witch gave him a tired smile. Oh, bless him – Harry was still so concerned about her even though his late mother's birthday was quickly approaching; Hermione knew how depressed and withdrawn he usually got during this time of year.

"Don't worry. I've just been a little sick," she lied through her teeth. After all, there was no way she could tell him that the real reason she had not been herself lately was because she had kissed her crush – who just so happened to be the most despised teacher in all of Hogwarts – and it had ended disastrously. "I must have caught something at the ball."

"So is that why you didn't go to Potions on Monday? Ernie told me about it," interjected Ron as he lazily packed up his school supplies.

"Er …" I didn't go because even just the thought of having to see him makes me want to jump off the Astronomy Tower! "Yeeeah. You know, whenever I'm not feeling too well, all those potion fumes tend to give me terrible headaches, so …"

"Oh, I know precisely what you're talking about," Neville said, nodding his large head in agreement. "I used to get an awfully sick feeling in my stomach every single time I walked into that classroom!"

Ginny huffed. "Like that had anything to do with potion fumes."

"I guess being Snape's apprentice does come with some benefits, after all," declared her brother. "It seems like you didn't even lose any house points for skipping class. I think if anyone else had dared to do that, that tosser would have given them detention until Easter at least!"

Hermione let out a nervous laughter in response and could not help but feel relieved when the three boys left for bed only a few minutes later; it was truly exhausting having to pretend that everything was fine in front of her friends. Normally, she would not even be up this late, but these days, she had been having trouble sleeping. Every time she closed her eyes, she would relive that perfect moment of when their lips had touched, loving every second of it, only to wake up and realise that it had all just been a dream. And then she would lie there sobbing for hours, knowing that it would never happen again and that he had hated it, hated her.

As soon as the door to the boys' dormitory audibly closed shut, Ginny turned to her with a sceptical look on her face. They were now the only two people left in the common room. "Okay, real talk – what's going on?"

Hermione gulped. "Wh-what do you mean?" she asked nervously.

"Don't even try to play dumb with me; you know exactly what I mean! You've been acting weird ever since the ball, and it's definitely not like you to just skip class. Headaches my arse, you wouldn't even miss a lesson if you were on the brink of death! You left the ball without as much as a word, and then when I see you again, you're all upset. So what happened? Was Snape mean to you or something?"

Hermione wanted to lie to her, wanted to act like everything was fine. But she simply could not keep up this charade any longer. Before she could stop herself, she erupted into tears. "Oh gods … I can't tell you, Ginny, I just can't!"

"Why not?" She looked at her with worry clearly visible in her eyes. "What's going on? Talk to me, please!"

"I really can't! You'd hate me if you knew!"

"Now, come on, you know that's not true! How could I ever hate you when you were there for me when I had to make the hardest decision of my entire life and you didn't judge me? You can share anything with me!"

The muscles of her chin were twitching uncontrollably as more and more tears streamed down her face. She did not want to tell her, of course; but at the same time, she knew that this was the type of secret which would eat her up alive if she did not get it off her chest soon. She needed to confine in someone. "B-but then you must promise me not to tell anyone. Nobody can ever know about this. No one!"

Ginny grabbed her hand and gave it a good squeeze. "But of course!"

It took Hermione a few moments to gather herself. "At the ball, I … Professor Snape and I, we …" Her heart was beating so rapidly that it almost made her feel dizzy. Squeezing her eyes shut, she finally whispered, "We kissed."

She could hear the other girl draw a sharp breath and braced herself for the inevitable outburst which was sure to follow – but it never came. After a long, drawn-out silence, she slowly lifted her head and looked up in confusion. Her friend's expression was unreadable, and her complexion was weirdly blotchy and red.

"Hermione," said Ginny in a strangely controlled voice that was almost too low to be heard. "I want you to be honest with me … Did he force himself onto you?"

Her jaw nearly hit the floor. "What?! NO!"

"Are you sure?"

"Wh- of course I'm sure! Professor Snape would never do such a thing!"

"Well, just one minute ago, I also thought that he would never stoop as low as to snog one of his own bloody students, but yet here we are! I did have my suspicions that he might have started to take a liking to you too, but never like this. You need to remember that he's not a good man, Hermione, no matter your crush on him!" fumed the redhead.

"Yes, he is, Ginny!" Hermione spat back appalled. "He is … in his own way."

"If he's such a nice guy and didn't do anything wrong, why else would you be so distressed then?"

"Are you serious?!" Hermione practically exploded out of her seat as she stared at her as though she had just grown a second head. "I kissed a professor! I-I must have broken at least half a dozen of school rules! What if somebody were to find out? I could get kicked out and not be allowed to sit my N.E.W.T.s, and Professor Snape could get fired, and it would all be my fault! This has the potential of ruining both of our lives – of bloody course I would be distressed!"

"No."

"Wh-what?" she asked bewildered, the wind taken out of her sails in an instant.

"No," Ginny repeated. "I would buy this explanation any other day, but not tonight. There has to be more to this, I just know it. So what are you actually upset about?"

"I –"

The words got stuck in her throat. What was she even doing trying to fool the one person who knew her better than she knew herself? Defeated, Hermione let herself slump back into her chair as more tears rolled down her cheeks, which were now burning bright red from embarrassment.

"Gin, he …" She buried her round face in her hands. "He hated it. He pushed me away from him and looked … absolutely horrified."

She let out a stifled sob. "I mean, what am I supposed to do now? How am I ever going to look him in the eyes again? I should have known better than to fall in love with one of my teachers, and now I managed to screw up whatever resemblance of a friendship we had to begin with!"

For a just moment, the room remained silent. "In love?" the younger girl then asked softly. "Do you really mean that? I thought you only fancied him."

Hermione's heart skipped a beat – did she really mean that?

"Yes." The word had left her lips before she could even properly ponder the question. "Yes, I think I … I think I am in love with him. Like, really, truly in love with him. I don't know how or why, but …I've never felt this way towards anybody else before."

She could hear Ginny draw another sharp breath. "Okay, well, that changes things," she eventually murmured. "Being in love with someone is a hell of a lot different than simply having a crush on them; it doesn't just go away after a while. So I guess we have to try and fix this now."

Hermione grimaced. "How could a disaster like this ever be fixed?"

"Maybe the situation isn't as dire as you think. Like, do you really believe that Sna- Professor Snape wouldn't have already reported you to Dumbledore or at least McGonagall and deducted hundreds of house points if you had smooched him against his will? He didn't even punish you for not going to class. So I don't believe for a second that he hated it as much as you said he did," Ginny explained. "I mean, who even initiated the kiss? You or him?"

"Um …" Hermione's eyes grew big – she had not even thought about that! "I think he did."

"See? As much as I don't want to admit that the Dungeon Bat might actually be capable of forming genuine interpersonal connections, I reckon he likes you just as much as you like him. Which would also explain his reaction – he probably got carried away and then suddenly realised that you were still his student, after all."

Ginny sighed. "And even though I would of course strongly advise you to not pursue him any further, I'm afraid you both might already be in too deep at this point. So just be careful, 'kay? You know as well as I do that nothing can happen between the two of you while you're still at Hogwarts."