The only sound that disturbed the quietness of the lair was Michelangelo's even breathing as he slept fitfully on the couch. It had been a trying night for the mutant turtle and their rat master indeed. As much as the youngest of the turtles had wanted to stay with his eldest brother, Leonardo, in his bedroom, his body rejected the idea. Donatello had practically forced him out of the room, snapping the end of his bo staff at his ankles. Raphael, on the other hand, had threatened to crack the purple cladded turtle's shell if he tried to make him leave his older brother.

"You can go to bed, Raph," Donatello said gently, placing a hand on Raphael's shoulder, who had pulled a chair up to their sleeping brother's bedside," He'll still be here in the morning. Or, uh, earlier in the morning."

Raphael jerked his shoulder away angrily. "He never sleeps this deep. Usually, if one of us so much as creaks open his door he's flying out of bed with a shuriken in hand. Shell, we're not even whisperin'," He shakes his head, running a hand over his mouth," Somethin' is really wrong with him...And when I find out who did this..."

"I don't think anyone did anything," The purple cladded turtle states," It couldn't have been his blood or he'd be what human doctors commonly refer to as 'dead'."

"Then what the hell is wrong with him? I've never seen him like this, Don," The red cladded turtle hisses, motioning his arm over the turtle laying on the bed," It's scarin' me shitless."

Scoffing, Donatello demands," And how do you think I feel? I'm the one who's apparently supposed to have the answer for everything - Well, I don't," His jaw clenched, before he takes a calming breath," Come on. We're getting too loud. Let's just let him sleep. We'll try and figure something out when he wakes up."

———

It was strange, Leonardo thought as he stared at Master Splinter sitting cross-legged across from him on his bed. He closes his eyes briefly, gulping and though he knows tensing against the shaking of his limbs is useless, he does it instinctively. He attempts to drink in the silence, rather than wonder over the strange, awkwardness of it, to counteract the fear that threatens to engulf him. He exhales, blinking open his eyes to find the latter's eyes fixed on him, and even though he knows that the gaze isn't intentionally cold (it was hard to convey a lot of emotion when one had a rat's eyes) he couldn't suppress the shiver that went down his spine.

The mutant turtle and the mutant rat each had a ceramic mug of gyokuro tea encased in their cupped hands, and a wooden tray bearing the tea set was precariously balanced on the bed in between both of their forms. The tea set was made of an aging clay that had an ocean blue glossy interior with a speckled coffee bean brown exterior. The blue cladded turtle knows all too well that the thick silence that hung in the air would not dissipate until he spoke, for that was his Sensei's way. He did not pry, but to allow his sons to reveal their hidden truths on their own.

"Sensei," Leonardo utters lowly, setting down his mug of tea with shaky hands. His eyes are averted away from the latter, his mouth a thin line, "Last night, when I came back to the lair and you, all of you, had to see me like that...I...I don't really know where to begin."

"You gave us quite the scare, my son," Master Splinter strokes the fibers of his beard in between two fingers, stating sagely to his pupil, "All stories start with a single word, so start there."

Leonardo's royal blue eyes were glassy and fogged over with death. A single rivulet of blood ran down his cheek, still warm to touch, but quickly turning cold.

The mutant rat waves his hand, his brows snapping together as he utters," Very well, I can see this approach is only further distressing you," The end of his tail flicks, lazily swinging behind him," We will not speak of what occurred last night, not at this very moment. Instead, we will go over the events leading to your departure. Start from early in the morning, when you first woke up."

"I just went to for a run, an early training session," The blue cladded turtle answers.

Master Splinter gives a quick shake of his head, telling the latter," Not 'just'. When exactly did you leave?"

"I don't know the time off the top of my head, but it was early...the sun wasn't up yet," Leonardo responds quickly.

"Why did you wake up so early, my son? You are very disciplined with your training, so rising an hour or so earlier than your brothers' isn't unusual, but this early..." The mutant rat cocks one eyebrow, before asking him," Did something awaken you? Was it a dream?"

The mutant turtle slowly nods, his eyelids drooping as he admits," Yeah, it was a dream...a nightmare really. It's been kind of a recurring thing lately."

"Tell me of this nightmare. Any detail, no matter how inconsequential it may seem, that you can remember."

"Water...I'm underwater and it's dark, so dark..." The blue cladded turtle explains as he slowly raised his eyes to the latter," I can't see and I can't breathe...I'm drowning and there's this voice - And I'm just so afraid."

Master Splinter presses," Why, my son, why were you afraid? Was it of the water...?"

"No," Leonardo gasps out, clenching his eyes shut briefly," No, it's...not the water itself I'm afraid of it's...It's dying."

"No, I do not believe that is it. We all fear death. What is it you truly fear," The mutant rat asks bluntly.

"I'm afraid of being alone. Of being the only one left to tell the tale," The blue cladded turtle whispers hoarsely, his hands clenching into fists," Of letting you, my family, down. Before we left to stop the Kraang you told me something, something that I will never forget... Do you remember?"

"With the world at stake, the only thing of importance is that you complete your mission. No matter what you have to sacrifice...or who."

Master Splinter flinches, admitting solemnly," I do. I regret my words, my son, more than you'll ever know," He lets out a heavy breath, his nostrils flaring," There is a part of myself I try to ignore when I allow you and your brothers leave this lair, the part of me that is a parent, because if I only ever thought of you and your brothers as a parent would...I would never be able to let you leave my sight."

"Sensei..." Leonardo murmurs, eyes wide," You know that I don't blame you for what happened. It was right and it was necessary. I'm the leader of this team, and their older brother...their lives will always come before mine," He sighs softly, running a hand down the back of his neck," But ever since I went down with the Kraang ship...I feel like a part of me never came back from that water. It's all that I see, all that I dream of ...and..."

"Leonardo, do you believe that these nightmares are beginning to affect your reality? The way you perceive your world," The mutant rat asks solemnly.

The mutant turtle nods stiffly, sniffing as he states, "Last night...all that blood..." He closes his eyes in shame as the familiar sting of tears enters his vision," I just don't want to be afraid anymore. I'm so tired of being afraid..."

"What occurred last night on the surface, were you or anyone else of import hurt," Master Splinter inquires of the latter, his hands clasping the handles of the tea tray as he begins to stand.

"No, Sensei," Leonardo answers truthfully.

The mutant rat sighs, the tea set clinking gently on the tray as he edges towards the door. "I will ask you nothing more about what happened last night, for I see how much it troubles you," He turns to him, his eyes giving him a once over," But I hope in time you will come to me and tell me what occurred. Even with all you've told me, I cannot help but sense you are not telling me a detail of great importance."

The blue cladded turtle confesses," I'm not, Sensei. If I did...it would explain my behavior not only last night, but for these past few weeks," He lets out a shaky laugh," But you would think I was insane, and I don't think they have a looney-bin for mutant turtles."

"No, I doubt they do," Master Splinter says with a touch of humor in his voice," I will not press you further, my son. For now, you may keep your secret, but know that secrets are the pressure that uncorks the bottle."

"Hai, Sensei," Leonardo confirms with a slight bow as he watches him leave.

"And one more thing - You will be taking a break from any sort of excursion to the surface until I say so," The mutant rat adds, eyes narrowing, "Is that clear?"

"Hai, Sensei," The blue cladded turtle repeats pitifully.

Leonardo goes to his feet, walking the small length of his room until he stops in front of the mirror hanging on the far side of his wall. The blue cladded turtle gently slides his fingers against the crease of his neck and feels the light thrum of blood pumping steadily through his veins. He observes in the mirror the steady rise and fall of his chest, watches with enrapt fascination as his warm breath fogs the glass. He swipes his hand across the cool surface, wiping away the moisture clouding his reflection. He tears his transfixed gaze away, turns on his heel and goes toward his door, hand tensing on the handle before he slowly turns it.

Immediately Raphael goes stock still in front of the punching bag Casey is holding, his fist frozen in midair. "Leo," He states aloud, tense," Sensei told us you were up and talking."

"I even managed to tie my own shoes," Leonardo quips, a hint of a smile on his lips.

Donatello asserts quickly, "You're looking better," He begins a brisk walk towards him, continuing while twiddling with his fingers, "But another checkup wouldn't do you any harm."

The blue cladded turtle agrees with a slight tilt of his head, crossing his arms, "Yeah, okay. If it'll keep you off my shell, Don."

"Oh," The purple cladded turtle utters, blinking in surprise, "I was expecting a bit more of a fight, but alright. If you'll just follow me."

Leonardo wordlessly followed Donatello towards the direction of his laboratory. Immediately the purple cladded turtle guides him to the large metal table situated off to the side of the room, patting it to imply he needs to jump on it and with a roll of his eyes the blue cladded turtle obeys. The purple cladded turtle turns his back to him, sorting through the toolbox that acted as his first aid kit, unexpectedly yanking out a bone saw, before laughing nervously and shoving it back into the box. Then he pulls out a simple glass thermometer, holding it gingerly by the end.

"Alright, bend over and hold your breath," Donatello orders him, his face stony.

Leonardo blushes a bright shade of magenta, stuttering out in surprise," What? No - No, absolutely not -"

"Joking! I was joking. You're a turtle, not a puppy. The mouth will work, "The purple cladded turtle chuckles, patting his hand on the side of his brother's face and as he obediently opens his mouth, he cautiously guides the thermometer in," It should take around three minutes. Hold still and keep that under your tongue - No talking! And stay still!"

The blue cladded turtle stiffens, his lips puckering around the delicate piece of equipment settled snug under his tongue. The purple cladded turtle either doesn't notice his older brother's tenseness or he's simply choosing to ignore it. The older mutant turtle eyes scrutinize his younger brother as he hums to himself whilst securing the torn and frayed cuff of a blood pressure meter to his lower left bicep. His younger brother's practiced fingers glided over his skin, settling over the slot in his wrist to take his pulse.

"Hmm. Let me see the thermometer," Donatello commands, pulling his fingers away from his brother's wrist and snatching the thermometer, "85.66 Fahrenheit. A little above normal for a red-eared slider, but nothing to get worked up over. Your blood pressure is another matter entirely, and you're going to have to make some changes."

"'Changes'? What kind of changes," Leonardo demands with a frown, his brows raised.

The purple cladded turtle wags a finger, grabbing a clipboard from beside the latter. "Don't test me on this, Leo," He clicks a pen and begins to scribble onto the clipboard," High blood pressure is bad enough for your Average Joe human in their late 50's, but you're a 15-year-old mutant turtle. And another thing -"

The blue cladded turtle tunes out the latter's nonsensical rant, his eyes diverting to a large bin at his side, which has a knob of an oxygen tank protruding from the top. "Don," He starts lowly, before inquiring," What's this in this bin here?"

"Huh," Donatello grunts out, then he directs his gaze towards where his brother is looking," Oh, oh that! That's just some diving equipment I found a couple of dumpster runs ago. I've modified it to fit my specifications, to you know, accommodate a shell, and I've managed to patch it up quite nicely. Sometime in the next few weeks, I'm wanting to take it for a test run."

Leonardo abruptly blurts out," Can I?"

"Hmm, what? You want to take it for a spin," The purple cladded turtle asks.

The blue cladded turtle gives a nod, telling him," Yeah! I mean, if you think it's safe enough for you to take it for a spin -"

"I don't see a problem with it," Donatello interjects," I don't see why you'd be interested in it, but if you really, really want to. We can take it sometime next week."

Leonardo bumps his brother's shoulder with his knuckle, telling him, "Sounds good to me! Now, if you're done chewing me out on my health..." The latter's expression tenses and he opens his mouth to say something, before quickly snapping it shut, "Is there something you want to add?"

"Leo," The purple cladded turtle utters weakly, one hand settling on his forehead, "Last night - Shell, I don't even know where to start -"

"Then don't," The blue cladded turtle cuts in, "Forget that it happened. I'm fine, Don. I'm fine."

"But you weren't, Leo," Donatello objects, distressed, "Not last night. I thought...I thought you'd gone catatonic - !"

Suddenly Leonardo choked. Blood sprayed from his lips and a single tear ran down his cheek. Then slowly, ever so slowly his eyes fluttered closed behind the slits in his mask. Then his lips parted, his last gasping breath of air escaping. His chest stopped moving and his heart ceased beating. Leonardo was dead.

Leonardo settles his hand on his brother's shoulder, his eyes boring into him. "Don, I..." He paused, then shook his head, "I can't. I just can't."

The purple cladded turtle whispers," Leo, you're shaking..."

The blue cladded turtle raises one hand in front of himself, shocked to see the limb tremble uncontrollably, his fingers twitching as if grasping at the empty air. "Can't you just let it go for now," He asks, then he closes his eyes briefly, and there's a visible tick in his jaw. He clenched the same hand into a fist and lets it hang at his side, before continuing," I'll tell you when I'm ready, but for now...I'm asking you, I'm begging you...Let it go, and tell the others to do the same."

Donatello bobs his head up and down stiffly, responding to his brother," Okay. Okay, I'll stop asking, for now, Leo."

Relieved, the blue cladded turtle states a simple," Thanks, Don."

One Week Later

"Is it me or is Leo still actin' weird," Casey comments giving a furtive glance towards the turtle walking furthest behind, "I get a really weird vibe around him now, and it's startin' to creep me out, yo."

Donatello nodded thoughtfully, remarking, "For once I agree with puck-head," He quickens his gait, going to stand between his two other brothers, "He's been really distant, and when we try to close that distance, he gets really jumpy."

"Real jumpy, dude! It's like he's scared of us, " Michelangelo adds with a sad frown, "This morning I just tapped him in the shoulder and he practically jumped three feet in the air."

Raphael quickly shoots a look towards the turtle that was the topic of the conversation, and he notices him intentionally walking at a much slower pace, his eyes flickering dizzily around the area they're walking. "Maybe Sensei shouldn't have let him out tonight," He comments cooly, crossing his arms over his chest, "I mean, he's not even doing his usual schtick. No rehearsed plans, no cheesy one-liners before we attack - Nothin'!"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you missed our Fearless Leader," The purple cladded turtle remarks, nudging his brother with his elbow.

The red cladded turtle scoffs, "As if," Despite his adamant denial, his expression betrays him, "Okay, maybe I do. So what? There's nothin' we can do about it. The dude is a closed book."

Leonardo speaks for the first time since the group had left the lair, startling the group and making them immediately fall silent. "Quiet, all of you," He abruptly snaps, lifting one fist up, "There's a Kraang patrol up ahead. We move in at my signal."

"' Bout time! I was about to call it a night and head home," Casey whispers, flicking down his mask with one finger, "Finally! Get to bust some heads - Goonga - !"

Leonardo thrust his arm forward and it slams into the human's throat, sending him stumbling back with a wheeze. "That's funny, I don't remember giving a signal. Verbal or otherwise," He comments dryly, not noticing the human and the other three turtles staring at him with their jaws hanging, "I'm going to scale the side of the building so that I can get a better look at their numbers and weaponry. Keep an eye on me and wait for the signal."

With soundless steps across the concrete and a front flip towards the opposite building, the mutant turtle is out of sight. Immediately the human boy squeals in a hushed whisper, "Damn! When did he get so strict? I think he dented in my windpipe -"

"Don't be so dramatic," The purple cladded turtle interjects, keeping his steely gaze skyward, awaiting the signal, "Let's just all keep our eyes open. He's obviously not in the mood tonight, so I don't think any of us should push him...And by us I mean Raphael."

"Hey! I'm not the only one that butts heads with him," The red cladded turtle objects with a grow, "Besides, it's Mikey we should be worrying about. He's the one that was plannin' on puttin' ketchup packets under the toilet seat to rile him up!"

"Uh, guys -" The human starts, pointing towards the rooftop.

The orange cladded turtle exclaims, "Great! Now you've ruined it. Besides, it wasn't just meant for him," He raises his hands, "I don't discriminate with my pranks. Anyone is game."

"Guys -" Casey hisses more insistently.

Donatello snaps, "Giant who cares! Both of you had better get used to walking on eggshells around him," He motions his hands over the two of them, continuing with an aggravated huff, "You two are like ticking time bombs -"

"Dudes! The signal," Casey shrieks at last, frantically wagging his finger towards the empty rooftop, "Well, he's gone now...I think he got tired of signaling and left - Wait -"

"Holy chalupa - He's taking on that entire Kraang squad himself," Donatello exclaims in dismay, sliding his bo staff from the sheath on his back and charging towards the building.

Raphael draws his sais, twirling them expertly, before charging after his brother, muttering under his breath, "Great, now we're gonna get an earful."

"Booyakasha," Michelangelo exclaims enthusiastically as he spins his nunchucks, before catching them back under his armpits,"That we are, my bro."

"It is the ones known as the turtles," One Kraang robot utters, raising its weapon cautiously, "How does Kraang proceed, Kraang?"

"Kraang will distract the ones known as the turtles, while Kraang captures the one known as the leader of the ones known as the turtles," Another Kraang answers, turning is own weapon towards the approaching group.

Donatello growls, "They're after Leo! But why -"

Leonardo slashes the katanas that are in either hand simultaneously, slicing two of the robots in half while their alien occupiers squeal and begin to drag themselves away by their tentacles. "Ah, so you guys haven't left me here to my inevitable doom," He quips, raising his twin katana in front of himself, "How lovely."

"We'll write you some apology notes later," Raphael retorts, shoving his sai into the underside of one of the robot's head, "Why are they after you - ?"

"Does it matter," The blue cladded turtle barks out, grabbing the spindly, metallic arm of one of the robots attempting to pin him to the wall, and throws him over his shoulder, "They're after me, and they're not laying off!"

Casey grunts, swiping out another robot's feet from under it with his hockey stick, jesting aloud, "Maybe they're experimenting with attitude adjustments."

"Well, I'm sorry if I'm less than cordial when a bunch of alien robots are trying to -" Leonardo yells out, throwing a shuriken at the head of a robot sneaking up behind the latter, embedding it in its eye with a spray of sparks,"-Probably dissect me!"

"Thanks, dude," The human grunts in appreciation, "Now, duck!"

The blue cladded turtle goes to his knees, sliding across the pavement with his swords one either side of him, and severs several robot's legs. He goes to his feet, sheathing his sword as he declares, "I think that was the last of them."

The purple cladded turtle inquires, "Why the shell were they after you specifically? I mean, there are four mutant turtles, why choose you - ?"

"I don't know," The blue cladded turtle interjects harshly, "I think that wraps it up for the night, let's head back to the lair."

"There's somethin' you're not tellin' us, man," The red cladded turtle snaps, "Look, I know we've been ordered to just step around the topic, but I can't take it anymore more - You've been actin' off ever since you went down with that damn ship -"

The water angrily surges just below his neck. The blood seeps from the wound in his shoulder, spilling into the rising waves.

"-and you ain't been yourself! Now, you better fess up right here and right now -"

Blood gushes from the tear in his neck, pulsing past his scrabbling fingers. The metallic taste fills his mouth.

"-what are you hiding from us?"

Leonardo gulps and he can feel his pulse pounding in his temples. "I..." With hands clasped tightly in front of his stomach he constantly fiddled with his knuckles, weaving his fingers in and out of each other," I...I don't...I can't..." His fingers fumble into his belt, clenching desperately around a smoke bomb.

"Leo," Donatello starts, raising a hand behind himself to signal the others of the group not to approach, "It's okay. Whatever it is...you can tell us. We're your brothers, your teammates. There is nothing you can say, nothing that will ever make us turn our backs to you. You have to know that."

Michelangelo adds softly,"Yeah, my bro. We may not have ears, but we'll listen."

The blue cladded turtle slowly lifts his head, acknowledging lowly, "You say that now," He crushes the smoke bomb within his grip, instantly engulfing the area with thick white smoke. He weaves into the obscureness, crouching low as he backs out of the area the group occupies, "But you have no idea...none..."

———

"Look, Leo. I know you've been having your difficulties lately. I mean, whenever I talk to one of your brothers it takes a lot of willpower to keep myself from telling them to just stop with all the complaining, you know," April starts tentatively, her eyes scanning over the mutant turtle, "And when I get a call from one of your brothers, saying they have no clue where the shell you are is a pretty good indicator that your brothers are being a bit...overprotective."

"They called," Leonardo groans, burying his face in his hands. After a brief moment, he lifts his head back up. His gaze flickered back towards her and the human girl gave him a smile, but his friend didn't return it.

The human girl gently tells him, "Everyone needs to get away sometimes. I get it."

Hesitantly, the blue cladded turtle inched forward, stating aloud, "Yeah. But it's... I don't know how to explain it. It's different, somehow," A barely noticeable flush is highlighted against his cheekbones, "All I know is...I-I can't go back, at least not right now."

"No situation is gonna be the same, Leo, "April replies knowingly, "And hey, I'm not here to criticize anyone. I've done my share of stupid things in the past too. But the funny thing is, if you never do anything stupid, you'll never do anything smart. My dad tells me that."

"I know what I'm doing is stupid! I can't avoid telling them for the rest of our lives," Leonardo admits sheepishly, "But...I don't know what else to do. For now, I just need some space from them."

"Hey, is that all you need to talk to me about?"

The turtle glanced back up sharply. "Yeah," He answers curtly, "Like I said, I just had to get away for a bit. I just wanted to know what you thought, and all. Y-you won't say anything to them right?"

April shook her head, reassuring him, "Of course not! My lips are sealed," She makes a locking motion over her lips and sends him a wink, "So where are you going?"

Leonardo lets out an exasperated sigh, stating, "Home. It's getting late- or early, I suppose." He says looking out the window as the sun slowly rose up, "I think I've given my family enough heart-attacks lately."

"You don't look like you wanna go back."

Laughing, the blue cladded turtle finally cracked a smile. The human girl didn't know what was stranger, seeing him being curt and straightforward or watching him now that he was more comfortable with her. Either way, it wasn't the mutant turtle she was used to. Watching the way the barely-there smile makes the corners of his eyes crinkle, the girl decides with her own smile she could get used it.

"I don't. Shell...I-I really don't want too."

April takes a deep breath, suggesting to the latter, "Look, why don't you stay the night? Dad is out of town until tomorrow, so you wouldn't have to worry about being seen."

Leonardo shook his head, replying, "That's cool of you, but I'll be all right. Besides, I'm already testing the limits enough as it is."

Leaning forward on the couch, April puts her hand on his. "Hey, if I weren't worried about you, Leo, I wouldn't be offering. But that's something a friend does from time to time. You've helped me out on more than one occasion when I thought I had things covered. Least you can do for yourself is to trust me here."

Leonardo gulped nervously as his wide eyes took in the latter, and a blush spread to his cheeks. He sighed and rather guiltily, he nodded. "All right."