The Heroism of Agnes Sculptham
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Any credits go to Dino Stamatopoulos and Adult Swim.
Alfred G. Diorama Elementary School, Moralton
March 23rd, 1994
3:02 PM
School had just released and Orel was, as per usual, the last one out.
"You changed your hair, Miss Sculptham!" Orel stated cheerily, putting an apple on her desk.
"Yes, Orel. It's for a special occasion."
"Gee, what kind of special occasion?" Orel asked.
"It's a surprise. I'm sure you'll see it on the news or something. Now run along, Orel..." she told him.
"The news? Golly!" Orel exclaimed as he ran off.
Miss Sculptham had dyed her hair black, leaving her natural blonde color behind to lure Cecil Creepler, the neighborhood ice cream man and alleged serial rapist. She had stalked him for several weeks, hoping to trap him and notify the police so that he could be brought to justice. According to the newspapers, he liked women with dark hair.
The Aloneford Apartments, Moralton
2:32 AM
Miss Sculptham waited up all night. She kept all of the locks on her door unlocked, now in her bedroom. She heard a noise in the kitchen and glanced through her cracked doorway.
Finally.
"911, what's your emergency?"
"This is Agnes Sculptham at the Aloneford Apartments, I have an intruder in my home. Number 302. Send units quickly, please. My door will be open." she whispered over the phone to them, then hanging up.
She entered the kitchen to face the man.
"You're Cecil Creepler." she spoke.
"You know me?"
"I know of you." she responded.
"Then you know why I'm in your apartment in the middle of the night." he grinned.
"I'm afraid so."
He walked towards her as she began to back into the bedroom.
"Didn't your parents ever teach you to lock the door?" he pondered to her aloud, pushing her on the bed.
"My parents are dead, Cecil."
"You poor thing." he whispered, now on top of her, kissing her face as she winced.
It hurt when he put his penis inside of her. After all, it was her first time. Each stroke less painful than the first, but still uncomfortable. But she held firm and waited, hoping the police were on their way. After a while, she put her arms around him, like a hug. With tears in her eyes, she gave him a look. Cecil was very confused by this look, because it wasn't one of terror like his other victims or even sadness. It was a look of longing. He thrusted harder now, and eventually Miss Sculptham climaxed for the first time in her life with a loud moan and a whimper. Officer Papermouth and his team entered in at that very moment, pistols drawn.
"Get off her and put your hands up, Creepler!" Papermouth cried out. His partner grabbed Creepler and threw him to the ground, putting him in handcuffs.
"You planned this, didn't you?" Creepler questioned.
"Shut up!" Papermouth shouted. "You're going away for a long time, you monster!"
Papermouth's partner helped Miss Sculptham to her feet as she pulled her skirt down and regained her composure.
"Are you okay? Do you need medical attention?" he asked her.
"No, Officer. I'm fine. Thank you."
"You're a hero Agnes, you know that?"
"Female heroes are known as heroines. Of that, I am not. Just a citizen doing her civic duty. Sorry to correct you, it's an occupational thing. I'm a teacher."
"How did you know for sure he'd come here?"
"I just left my door unlocked." she simply replied.
And with that, he put a blanket over her as she sipped some tea one of the officers made for her.
Freedom County Prison, Moralton
A Month Later
"Creepler, you got a visitor."
Cecil got up from his table in general population to make his way to the phone booth windows and there she was. His final victim, the woman he had raped.
"Good morning, Cecil. Surprised to see me?"
"Surprised to see you here so soon, Agnes? Yes, actually." he retorted.
"How are they treating you?"
"Why do you care?" he snapped back.
"You took my virginity."
The former ice cream man was about to say something but he stopped to process that.
"Why did you choose to do what you did?" he inquired to her.
"I suppose I used you because I felt alone. I didn't want to feel that way anymore. I chose you. We all have to make choices, Cecil. Sacrifices. And since you chose to do what you did, I'm choosing to sacrifice our babies." relayed Agnes, sincerely.
"Babies?"
"Yes. I'm pregnant, with twins." And neither of us will ever see them grow up. I'm getting an abortion." she began.
"Don't do this, Agnes. Prison is enough, I don't think I could live with that." Cecil put his hand on the window.
"You'll have to, just like I have to live with what you did. But I do forgive you, because that's what God would want me to do. I hope he can forgive us too." she hung up the phone and walked away from booth.
As she started her stride, Cecil called out to her and banged on the window before the guards got a hold on him, escorting him back to his cell.
Miss Sculptham left with a pit in her stomach and a bad taste in her mouth, but nonetheless, continued on with her day. Before the month was out, she found out on a WUUU broadcast that Creepler had committed suicide in his cell by vertically slitting his wrists in solitary confinement with a makeshift razor he had smuggled in to him. He died sad and alone, one of the things that Agnes ironically feared most. As a devout Protestant, she knew that it was written in the scriptures to be fruitful and multiply. Now, she thought of another scripture;
"From clay we were begot, and to clay we shall return."
END