Chapter 17

Ara: Pledging Allegiance

Summer 1996

Narcissa appeared at the edge of a dingy river. She looked around, taking a second to get her bearings and recognise her surroundings, before throwing herself up the bank. She heard a loud crack behind her, and a harsh voice shouted, "Wait!" into the still air. Narcissa realised with mounting anger that Bellatrix had followed her. She spun on the spot, seeing a flash of green light, and was disgusted to see her sister standing over the corpse of a fox. Narcissa made to move on, but in pausing, Bellatrix caught up with her and grabbed her arm, "Cissy - Narcissa - listen to me -" she hissed, but Narcissa snatched her arm back, snarling,

"Go back, Bella!"

"You must listen to me!" Bellatrix pleaded, her face desperate, but Narcissa kept moving, shooting her next words at her sister over her shoulder,

"I've listened already. I've made my decision. Leave me alone!" Narcissa gritted her teeth as Bellatrix began to complain about the state of the town. Yes, I know it's a dump, she thought furiously. But right now, I wouldn't care if it was a Mudblood's squat. She ducked through a gap in the railings, and ran across the cobbled street. She navigated the quiet streets as quickly as she could, but Bellatrix caught up with her again and spun her around to face her,

"Cissy, you must not do this, you can't trust him -"

"The Dark Lord trusts him, doesn't he?" Narcissa replied icily, allowing the meaning of her words to hang in their air between them - Do you trust the Dark Lord's judgement, Bella?

Her sister's hood obscured most of her face, but Narcissa could hear her uneven breaths as she said slowly, "The Dark Lord is... I believe... mistaken. In any case, we were told not to speak of the plan to anyone, this is a betrayal of the Dark Lord's -" Narcissa felt her anger spill over as she whipped her wand out from her robes, pointing it directly at Bellatrix's face. Her sister shrieked with laughter. "Cissy, your own sister? You wouldn't -"

"There is nothing I wouldn't do anymore!" Narcissa hissed, giving in to her anger, and blasting a Stinging hex onto Bellatrix's clutching hand. Bellatrix yelped, releasing her, crying,

"Narcissa!" But Narcissa had already fled, darting away from her sister through the maze of dark streets once more. She reached Severus' front door and knocked loudly before Bellatrix could pull her away. They both waited - he's got to be home, please be home, Narcissa thought desperately. Then, the front door opened a tiny amount, and a thin chink of yellow light fell across her face. She pushed back her hood and Severus opened the door more widely as he said, with the faintest hint of sarcasm,

"Narcissa! What a pleasant surprise!"

Narcissa bit back her tears as her former friend regarded her mistrustfully, and whispered, "Severus, may I speak to you? It's urgent."

"But of course," he replied, stepping back to allow her to pass. Bellatrix followed, and she and Severus greeted one another coldly. Narcissa removed her cloak and sat on the same sofa she had the first time she met Eileen Snape. Still looking hostile, Severus asked what she was doing there. Narcissa was about to speak when she heard a creak, as if someone was on the stairs.

"We - we are alone, aren't we?" she whispered. Severus smirked, and revealed that he had an unwelcome house guest - Peter Pettigrew - who was hiding on the stairs, clearly attempting to eavesdrop on their conversation. What one earth is Severus doing, allowing one of his former bullies to lodge with him? Narcissa wondered, momentarily forgetting her fears for Draco in her surprise. Her question was answered a few seconds later, as Severus began to order Pettigrew around as if he were a House-elf. Revenge, Narcissa thought, as Pettigrew, with obvious reluctance, brought them all drinks. Severus proposed a toast to the Dark Lord, and Narcissa knocked her wine back, accepting a refill. She began to speak, but Severus held up a hand, silencing her, before pointing his wand back at the secret door behind which the stairs lay. Pettigrew let out a shriek of pain, and she heard him lumbering back up the stairs.

"My apologies," Severus said in a bored voice. "He has taken to listening at doors lately. I don't know what he means by it... you were saying, Narcissa?" There was an odd formality to his tone. Is it because Bella's here? Or because he's still angry with me? Narcissa took a deep breath, and began to speak again, but she had not even managed to compete her sentence before Bellatrix interrupted, and before Narcissa realised what was happening, she had lead Severus into an argument over his true loyalties. Narcissa felt the weight of her grief wash over her again. He's not going to help me, no-one will. My son, my baby... She began to cry silently as Severus and Bellatrix continued to debate as if she was not even in the room. Bellatrix's voice was passionate and volatile, contrasting with Severus' cold, calm utterances. Narcissa tuned out, letting their voices wash over her. She thought about Draco, reliving her favourite memories; holding him as a tiny baby, his first smile, his first laugh, seeing her husband holding him and feeling her heart swell with pride, looking at her very own little family. She remembered his first, tottering steps, when his gurgling baby language slowly turned to a few recognisable words, then whole sentences... but her reverie was interrupted as a disjointed phrase entered her brain:

"That wasn't my fault! The Dark Lord has, in the past, entrusted me with his most precious... if Lucius hadn't -" Narcissa's head jerked up, and she snarled viciously at her sister,

"Don't you dare blame my husband!"

Bellatrix glared at her, but Severus cut in smoothly, and they kept on talking. Narcissa tried to listen, but lost interest when she realised Bellatrix was demanding answers to questions she had flung at Narcissa over and over again since she had been released from Azkaban; "Why didn't Snape look for the Dark Lord when he fell? Why didn't he help our Master get the Philosopher's Stone? Why didn't he come to the graveyard immediately on the night of the Dark Lord's return? Why didn't he help us to retrieve the prophecy? Why hasn't he killed Harry Potter?" Narcissa tuned out again, her despair robbing her of any curiosity she might have otherwise had to hear Severus' answers. It seemed a long time later, but must only have been about ten minutes, when she heard Severus saying her name, and looked up. He was looking at her, as if expecting her to say something. She forced her brain to replay what it had just heard him say: "... you came to ask me for help, Narcissa?"

Yes I did, she thought savagely, but when she spoke, her voice was shaking, defined by her sorrow, not her anger. She tried, for a third time, to tell Severus what she wanted - what she needed - him to do. "Yes, Severus. I - I think you are the only one who can help me. I have nowhere else to turn. Lucius is in jail and..." Luc is gone, he's not coming back. Narcissa closed her eyes, tears threatening to overwhelm her again. She took a deep breath, steadying herself, then went on shakily, "The Dark Lord has forbidden me to speak of it. He wishes none to know of the plan. It is... very secret. But -" Here, Severus once again interrupted her. He spoke harshly, without any pity, shutting her down, telling her to stop talking. Narcissa felt as if he had punched her in the stomach and gasped. He's not listening... he isn't going to help me. Bellatrix joined in joyfully, clearly delighted with Severus' reprimand. He rose to his feet, closing the curtains before turning to face Narcissa, scowling at her. She felt her throat closing up. I can't breathe, I have to get out, I need to leave. Narcissa was on the verge of getting to her feet, when Severus spoke softly,

"It so happens that I know of the plan..." He carried on talking, but Narcissa wasn't listening. Hope ignited inside her. Of course! He's teaching at Hogwarts! Of course the Dark Lord told him! And she cried,

"I thought you must know about it! He trusts you so, Severus..." But Bellatrix, once again, spoke over her sister, clearly furious that the Dark Lord would confide in Severus. He likes Severus more than you, Bella - get over it! You're pathetic. Shut up and let me save my baby you stupid, deluded hag! Narcissa raged at her sister inside her head, then forced herself to pay attention as she realised Severus was speaking again,

"... If you are imagining I can persuade the Dark Lord to change his mind, I am afraid there is no hope, none at all." The tiny flicker of light inside her was snuffed out.

"Severus..." Narcissa whispered, "My son... my only son..." Her cheeks felt wet, and she realised she was crying again. Next to her Bellatrix started up again, reiterating what an honour it was for Draco to be chosen. She went on,

"And I will say this for Draco: he isn't shrinking from his duty, he seems glad of a chance to prove himself, excited at the prospect -" He's barely conscious you stupid woman! And of course he's excited - we all were when we joined up! And look where it's gotten us! You've been driven out of your mind, Luc is locked up, and Draco is being sent out like a lamb to slaughter! Aloud, she cried,

"That's because he is sixteen and had no idea what lies in store! Why, Severus? Why my son? It is too dangerous! This is vengeance for Lucius' mistake, I know it!" Narcissa turned her watery gaze on Severus, begging him with her eyes. Please, Severus. Please save my baby. Severus broke their eye contact, and Narcissa felt a jolt in her stomach. I'm getting through to him, she realised. Keep going... make him realise... "That's why he's chosen Draco, isn't it? To punish Lucius?"

"If Draco succeeds, he will be honoured above all others." Severus' words were spoken softy, without any real conviction. Narcissa pressed home her advantage, her voice strangled by her tears,

"But he won't succeed! How can he, when the Dark Lord himself -?" Bellatrix let out a horrified gasp, and Narcissa changed tack, not wanting her sister to start taking over the conversation again, when she had just got it on the right track. "I only meant... that nobody has yet succeeded..." So shut up, Bella. And do not interrupt me again. "Severus... please..." She fixed her eyes on his, speaking to him with both her mind and her mouth, "...you are, you always have been, Draco's favourite teacher..." You said you cared about Draco, Severus. You said you liked him. "...you are Lucius' old friend..." And mine. You were my dearest friend, Severus. "I beg you... you are the Dark Lord's favourite, his most trusted adviser..." He looked away, but she went on desperately, "... will you speak to him, persuade him -?"

"The Dark Lord will not be persuaded, and I am not stupid enough to attempt it." Severus' voice was cold, his hands balling into tight fists at his sides. "I cannot pretend that the Dark Lord is not angry with Lucius -" He kept speaking, but at the sound of her husband's name, Narcissa's mind conjured a picture of her husband, cold, dirty and alone in a filthy prison cell. He made a mistake, but he doesn't deserve this! The Dark Lord is taking my baby as revenge! Why does no-one else see that! She began to scream inside her head, trying to drown the picture out, but it got stronger and stronger and she cried out,

"Then I am right, he has chosen Draco in revenge! He does not mean him to succeed, he wants him to be killed trying!" Severus said nothing, and Narcissa's thoughts screamed again, DON'T IGNORE ME, SEVERUS! LOOK AT ME! She threw herself at him, launching herself off the sofa and grabbing the front of his robes, forcing him to look into her eyes. You promised, Severus! We helped you when you needed it. Please, please help my baby.

His black eyes looked steadily back into hers. 'What do you want me to do?' he asked silently.

"You could do it. You could do it instead of Draco, Severus. You would succeed, of course you would, and he would reward you beyond all of us -" Narcissa was gabbling, desperation clawing at her insides. Severus' eyes suddenly went blank, and he firmly took her wrists, pulling her hands off of him.

"He intends me to do it in the end, I think. But he is determined Draco should try first. You see, in the unlikely event Draco succeeds, I shall be able to remain at Hogwarts a little longer, fulfilling my useful role as a spy."

You won't get away that easily, Severus. Narcissa raged internally. Anger gripped her voice and it rang out clearly. "In other words, it doesn't matter to him if Draco is killed!" Does that matter to you, Severus? How much does my baby's life matter to you? She challenged him with her eyes and thoughts, and saw something flicker behind his steady black gaze.

"The Dark Lord is very angry. He failed to hear the prophecy. You know as well as I do, Narcissa that he does not forgive easily." Severus' voice was smooth and silky, and Narcissa felt her legs give way. She fell to the floor at Severus' feet, crying for Draco, and screaming as Bellatrix began to speak again. Narcissa clutched at her head; she felt her sorrow pushing down on her, crushing her. Stop it, stop it, stop it! she thought desperately. She suddenly felt strong hands gripping her arms and she was pulled to her feet. Severus pushed her back onto the sofa and thrust her glass of wine back into her hands. She heard his voice telling her to drink and obeyed, still shaking with sobs. His voice sounded like it was coming from a long way away as he said, "It might be possible... for me to help Draco."

Narcissa's head jerked up. She looked into Severus' eyes and saw he was telling the truth. He's going to help! He's going to save my baby! "Severus - oh Severus - you would help him? Would you look after him, see he comes to no harm?" she cried passionately.

"I can try," he replied. Relief flooded through Narcissa, and she shoved her glass onto the table, throwing herself down onto the floor. She took her friend's hand and kissed it, but a little voice inside her head piped up. Try? Draco deserves more than that... we risked everything to help him and his parents... I need to make him promise...

"If you are there to protect him... Severus, will you swear it? Will you make the Unbreakable Vow?" Narcissa heard her own doubts pouring jeeringly out of Bellatrix's mouth,

"Aren't you listening, Narcissa? Oh he'll try, I'm sure... the usual empty words, the usual slithering out of action... oh, on the Dark Lord's orders, of course!" But Narcissa kept her gaze fixed on Severus' face, still holding his hand. Promise me, Severus, she begged. This time, he did not look away.

"Certainly, Narcissa. I shall make the Unbreakable Vow. Perhaps your sister will consent to be our Bonder." Bellatrix's expression of incredulity was almost comical as Severus slipped off his seat, kneeling before Narcissa on the floor. He took her right hand on his, and, without breaking eye contact with Narcissa, coldly instructed Bellatrix to begin the bonding. Narcissa felt her sister's wand tip lightly touching their clasped hands, and she began to speak,

"Will you, Severus, watch over my son, Draco as he attempts to fulfil the Dark Lord's wishes?"

"I will," Severus said solemnly. A thin rope of fire snaked out of Bellatrix's wand, wrapping itself around their hands. It was warm, but not uncomfortably so. Narcissa went on,

"And will you, to the best of your ability, protect him from harm?"

"I will," he said again. A second flame issued from the wand, intertwining with the first, and the heat increased, but Narcissa did not flinch, and she spoke again,

"And should it prove necessary... if it seems Draco will fail... will you carry out the deed that the Dark Lord has asked Draco to perform?" Severus' hand jerked slightly in hers, and there was a beat of silence. Then he said once more,

"I will." A third fiery rope joined the other two, and glowed, hot against their hands and wrists. Narcissa felt her skin tingle with pain, she wanted to let go, but resisted, staring unblinkingly into Severus eyes. The flames suddenly vanished; the bond was complete. Narcissa sat back, releasing his hand. I've done it. Draco will be safe now.

"Thank you," she whispered, looking into Severus' pale and gaunt face. He looked back, his eyes blank and shuttered once more. Then he rose to his feet, turning to Bellatrix.

"I would like to speak with Narcissa alone. Please leave my house." His voice was polite, but there was a note of steel there, which even Bellatrix couldn't ignore. She looked to Narcissa, who remained on the floor.

"Cissy?" she asked, her voice quiet.

"I'll catch you up, Bella," Narcissa said, looking up at Severus. He nodded once, and stepped past her, opening the front door.

"Goodbye, Bellatrix," he said, his voice still level. Bellatrix hesitated, then swept from the room without another word.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Severus' voice sounded from directly behind Narcissa, and she felt a hand touch her shoulder. She rose to her feet and Severus handed her her cloak. Fastening it around her neck, she followed him out into the chilly mist. "As diverting as it is to force Wormtail to do my bidding," Severus began as they walked down the cobbled street. "I cannot pretend his constant presence is anything but tiresome. But the Dark Lord insisted... Wormtail has already proven his cowardice, so I am to keep an eye on him..." Narcissa nodded, glancing sideways at Severus. They rounded a corner and entered a shabby children's playpark. It was quite deserted, and Severus led Narcissa to a wooden bench. They sat together, and Narcissa said quietly,

"You've been here before." It was not a question, and he shrugged,

"I did not have a very happy childhood, so I spent as much time out of the house as possible." He was looking at the swings and sighed softy. "I used to enjoy coming here." Narcissa did not reply, sensing that Severus wanted to say something else. He addressed her sharply, "Why didn't you tell me about the elf?" This was not what Narcissa had been expecting, and she blinked in surprise.

"I'm sorry?"

"Kreacher. Why didn't you tell me about him?"

Narcissa frowned. "Ought I to have? I don't see what business it was of yours."

"It would have been useful to know. I am spying on the Order, after all." He sounded annoyed, and didn't look at her. She felt a spark of irritation, and snapped back,

"Well, Severus, given that this is the first time you've spoken to me since Easter, how was I supposed to tell you anything?"

He countered her question with one of his own. "Did Bellatrix inherit him? The elf?"

"No," Narcissa said, looking curiously at Severus' profile. Why is he so obsessed with Kreacher? "It seems Sirius made a will and left all his property elsewhere - to Potter, I presume. Not that it matters now. Kreacher told us everything we needed to know, and he couldn't reveal the location of the Order's headquarters, so he's served his purpose."

Severus was silent for a few seconds, then turned to face her and said gruffly, "I am sorry I did not reply to your letters. It was childish of me. I am ashamed of my behaviour -" Narcissa opened her mouth to reassure him, but he went on, "- I was angry and upset, and then I saw the look on your face when you cast your Shield charm in your parlour. It was the same look my mother had, when my father -" he paused and swallowed. "- Seeing that fear in your eyes, and knowing I caused it..." He broke off again.

"I thought you were angry with me," Narcissa whispered.

"No," Severus said firmly. "I was angry with myself. And the longer I left it, the harder it was to reach out to you."

"So we're ok now? Friends?" It seemed an odd question to ask of the wizard who had just pledged his life to protect her son, but he turned and gave her his usual half-smile.

"Yes, I think so. Believe it or not, I have actually missed you nagging me about my eating habits."

"Your lack of eating habits, you mean!" Narcissa said, nudging him. "Haven't you trained Pettigrew to cook yet?"

Severus snorted. "Would you eat something that pathetic cretin had touched?"

"Fair point."

They sat in companionable silence for a moment, then Severus spoke again, his voice gentle, "How are you? About Lucius, I mean."

"I -" Narcissa broke off, a lump forming in her throat. "I miss him so much... it hurts all the time. I didn't even get to say goodbye to him, Severus." She swallowed hard, trying not to cry.

"Narcissa..." Severus sounded hesitant, as if deciding whether to go on or not.

"What?" she asked sharply, wondering whether she would want to hear what he had to say.

"Did he hurt you?" he asked in a rush.

"Excuse me?" Narcissa said, startled. Where did that come from?

"Years ago, you had a cut on your arm. You didn't say anything, but I saw in your eyes that Lucius had caused it, but we were interrupted, and I did not feel I could ask later... then, at Easter, the way you reacted... Lucius is my friend, he was the first person to welcome me at Hogwarts, and you both looked out for me... but if he was hurting you, you know I would help you."

Narcissa felt close to tears as she listened to her friend's awkward speech. He saw his father beat his mother for years, and he couldn't help her... Narcissa took a deep breath, then turned to face him, looking into his eyes so he could see the sincerity behind her words. "Lucius never intentionally hurt me, Severus. He was distraught after losing the Dark Lord's diary, Potter had tricked him into setting our old elf free, and he had been fired from the Board. He came home in a foul temper and smashed up most of the hall - but he didn't realise I was there. I startled him, and he accidently knocked me into a broken mirror and I cut my arm. It was a mistake which he deeply regretted and never repeated."

Severus' shoulders relaxed. "I cannot pretend I am not relieved to hear that. It makes what I am about to say easier... Narcissa, the Dark Lord is contemplating another Azkaban breakout."

Narcissa gasped, gripping Severus' elbow. "You mean he'll free Lucius, too?"

"At the moment, he is too angry to properly consider it, but I believe he will change his mind. And I will do whatever I can to persuade him to include Lucius, when the time comes."

"Thank you," Narcissa breathed, revelling in the new hope that her husband would come home to her.

"How is Draco?" Severus asked, and Narcissa was brought back to earth with a bump.

"He's been marked, Severus. The Dark Lord came and did it yesterday." Her voice shook as she remembered seeing the vivid red Dark Mark, burned into her son's arm.

"Do you need me to brew anything for him?" Severus asked, but Narcissa shook her head.

"No, I have enough Dittany, and he's recovering more quickly than you and Lucius did. He was able to get out of bed today."

"He's strong," Severus said, a note of pride in his voice.

"Yes," Narcissa agreed. "He is, isn't he?" It was comforting to talk about Draco like this and she smiled.

"I have some alchemy books for him, if you would like them?" Severus rose to his feet, and Narcissa followed suit. They walked out of the park together, heading back towards the rows of terraced houses.

"Yes please, hopefully that'll keep him occupied whilst he's recovering."

They entered Severus' house once more and he pointed his wand at the concealed staircase, muttering "Muffliato" before taking three books from the shelf nearest the window and handing them to Narcissa.

"Severus! These are brand new! You bought them for him?" Narcissa exclaimed as she turned the pristine volumes over in her hands.

"I picked them up a couple of days ago," Severus admitted. "I was going to use them as an excuse to turn up on your doorstep and ask you to forgive me, but you beat me to it."

"But, when I arrived, you weren't very friendly," Narcissa pointed out.

"You surprised me, Wormtail was listening in, and you had my favourite person in tow," Severus reminded her, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry about that," Narcissa said lightly. "She followed me here. I certainly did not invite her."

"How are you two getting on?" he asked, leaning against the book-lined shelves, folding his arms across his chest.

"Generally better," Narcissa said honestly. "Except when she brings you into the conversation. She really hates you."

"I noticed," he said dryly.

"She can be infuriating, but she's my sister. She kept me out of Azkaban, and she always wants the best for me. But she's... damaged."

Severus smirked. "That is a vast understatement. I would have said 'deranged' or perhaps 'psychotic'."

Narcissa snorted with laughter. "Don't be mean, Severus!"

"Ah - sisterly affection! You are clearly blind to her faults. But I am an impartial observer, and can honestly say that whenever I see Bellatrix, I am suddenly reminded how very grateful I am to be an only child."

"Stop it!" Narcissa said, giggling. "She really isn't that bad - you're terrible!"

"If you want terrible, Narcissa, you should try having Wormtail to stay... Are you sure you can't find a spare wing to house him in at the Manor? Or if you are short of space, perhaps we should ask the Dark Lord if we could swap?" Severus suggested, smirking.

"Absolutely not, I'd much rather have Bella around than Pettigrew."

"Oh well, it was worth a try." Severus shrugged, and stood up straight, stifling a yawn.

"I should go," Narcissa said, suddenly realising how late it was. "I need to get back to Draco."

Severus moved with her to the door, opening it for her and, to her surprise, following her out into the night. "I'll walk with you," he said, answering her confused look.

"There's no need -"

"I would like to," he said smoothly, setting off down the street. "This can be a rough neighbourhood at night."

"I can look after myself," Narcissa insisted, talking long strides to keep up with his pace.

"I don't doubt it," he replied, smirking.

"And you let Bella go alone," she muttered, half annoyed, half amused.

"I don't care about Bella," he said calmly. "Now do stop complaining like one of my dunderheaded students. I have quite enough of them throughout the year without you inflicting similarly inane utterances on me in the holidays too."

She laughed at that, and they chatted for the rest of the short walk about inconsequential matters. They ducked through the gap in the railings, and headed back to the river bank. Narcissa turned and gave her friend a tight hug. "Thank you, Severus. I know Draco will be safe now."

"It is quite alright. I did owe you, after all." His voice was oddly flat, and Narcissa pulled back, looking into his face.

"Is that why you agreed?" she asked, her brow creased. "Out of obligation?" She felt an uneasy feeling in her stomach as she waited for his reply. He looked away from her, over the houses of his home town to the tall chimney of the disused mill.

"There are other reasons," he said slowly. "I have never forgotten the kindness you and Lucius showed me; not only are my parents are alive and well thanks to you, but you also saved me from having to commit parenticide. But I would have agreed to the Vow even if that had not happened... I care deeply about Draco, and yourself and Lucius. And there are events in my life I bitterly regret. I hope I can atone for at least some of them now." He looked melancholy.

Does he mean Regulus? He couldn't save his friend, so hopes to save Draco instead? Narcissa wondered. Aloud she simply said, "Thank you, Severus. Will you come by soon?"

He turned to her, his face clearing and he smiled. "If you like. Will Bellatrix allow it?"

"It's my house. She'll have to put up with it. And if she makes a nuisance of herself, I'll lock her in the cellar."

Severus laughed and stepped back. "I will see you soon, then. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, Severus." Narcissa smiled at him, then tucked the books firmly under one arm as she spun on the spot, disapparating back to her home.