Summary: Between the bloody punishments, disgusting harassment and mayhem, there are small moments of affection. A series of drabbles, one-shots and ficlets featuring humans, demons, angels and their ever-changing relationships. Focused on Sakuma/Demons.
Chapter summary: It's not everyday you come see to your home destroyed by a meteorite, but that's Koutaro's life.
Genre(s): Missing scene.
Character(s)/Pair(s): Koutaro with brief apppearence of Gusion, Akutabe, Beelzebub, Sakuma, Azazel, Incubus, Eurynome and Salamander. Osanai is mentioned.
Warning(s): Canon typical crass/vulgar language. Minor spoilers for volumes 7, 10 and 11, but it's nothing much. More like a nod to those arcs.
Disclaimer: Yondemasuyo, Azazel-san is copyrighted by Kubo Yasuhisa, Kodansha and Productions I.G.
"Stupid Osanai, he thinks he's so smart! I'll show him, this next test I'm gonna score higher than him and then I'm gonna shove his pretentious manga so far up his ass, he's gonna shit paper for the rest of the year!"
"Koutaro, Koutaro."
"Hm? What is it, Gusion?"
"Aren't you his fan?"
"Huuuh?! What're you talkin' about, Gusion? Who gives two shits about that trash?! It's forgotten, washed up trash anyways, and it's done, finished! When did I ever say I liked it, huh?!"
"Is that so...? But according to my memory..."
"Your memory's shit, Gusion! It was ironic! I liked it ironically, okay?!"
"Hmm..."
The back-and-forth between demon and contractor continued as Koutaro walked back home- to Akutabe's Detective Agency- with Gusion hanging off his back as usual. The young demon summoner found himself in a bad mood after arguing with his friend and fellow demon summoner, Osanai Osamu, who'd made a careless comment about Koutaro's intelligence- he told him, and he quoted, "That there was no way a monkey could measure up to a genius like himself."
Prick.
And no, Koutaro was not making stuff up, Osanai really did have buck teeth, a stupid face and the most annoying, nails-on-chalkboard voice to ever disgrace humanity. Also he was an idiot.
It was in that mood that Koutaro walked home, ready to complain to everyone about Osanai, maybe get Sakuma to pity him a little and make him hambuger steak. He'd learned very quickly that harassing her was a no-no and settled for food, always- and now that she was back (Akutabe had told him so yesterday), maybe he could make her cook whatever he wanted anyway, pretending it was to commemorate her comeback or some sappy shit.
Still, now in a better mood, Koutaro thought about his long-awaited weeked. He wasn't going to be stuck with Akutabe only now that Sakuma was back, he was gonna make Osanai eat his words and there was a hole in the building-
There was a hole in the building.
Actually, fuck, no, there was no hole in the building, that was a crater, a fucking crater! Half the bulding was gone, what the fuck! The agency, his home, what the-
Koutaro surveyed the crowd that had quickly gathered nearby, looking for answers. There were so many people with their loud, granting voices, and none of them had anything helpful to say. Actually, Koutaro was pretty sure he heard some dumbass shout it was aliens, and he started to chant some weird shit. But there was no sight of Akutabe or the demons, or even Sakuma. Koutaro was beginning to feel worried when he spotted the biggest, darkest cowlick he'd ever seen.
Akutabe! And the well-dressed penguin-fly floating beside him... Beeyan!
He approached the man and the demon with a very elonquent, "What the hell happened here!"
Akutabe turned to him, his face unreadable as always, and told him in his usual flat tone, "A meteorite."
"A meteorite! Holy fuckin' shit a meteorite! An actual fuckin' meteorite!"
Koutaro continued to freak out for a few minutes before Akutabe decided he had enough and pulled on his left ear quite painfully. "Enough! Stupid brat..."
Koutaro yelped at the pinch and clamped his mouth shut, nodding slightly to tell Akutabe he'd stop yelling. A sigh of relief escaped his lips when Akutabe relented and let go. Rubbing his poor, abused ear, Koutaro looked around and asked where Zel and the others were.
Akutabe remained silent for a few seconds, and Koutaro could swear Beelzebub glanced nervously at the destroyed building. Was he sweating too?
"Azazel was unfortunate enough to have been in the building when the meteorite struck. Thankfully, he was the only one."
"Wait," Koutaro interrupted, "Zel-san's dead?"
"Not really," Akutabe answered, and Koutaro thought he heard Beelzebub mutter an 'Unfortunately' under his breath. "He's only dust right now, but he should recover his form in a few hours... or days. Quite annoying since you can't hit him when he's like this- he still can blabber that non-existant mouth of his and it'd be great if he just shut up."
Koutaro chuckled nervously as Akutabe continued. "Sakuma-san and the other idiots are in the building hiding the grimoires and packing anything we might need. I'm here just waiting for the authorities to arrive."
"I- I see..."
A moment of silence. Koutaro stared at Akutabe and Beelzebub. They stared back. And Gusion was picking his nose, again.
"Well?"
At Akutabe's inquiry, Koutaro flinched and dared to ask, "W-what?"
"What are you standing there like a moron for? Go and help them pack already, you useless brat!"
His back stiffened and Koutaro just saluted with a 'Yes, sir!' and ran towards the building. It was a reflex already. Soon enough he was grumbling and complaining to himself about stupid, fuckin' Akutabe, why did this have to happen now, it was the weekend and he was gonna watch an R-rated movie he and Osanai sneaked from the video store the other day and-
The door fell down when he grabbed the doorknob. He felt his eyebrow twitch. Geez, the agency looked shittier up close. He looked around, a couple of smashed cakes in the entrance briefly caught his attention before he moved further inside and called for his friends.
"Sakuma-neechan? Guys?"
At this, Sakuma and the others appeared, each holding a box, or a book, or whatever the hell it was that Incubus was holding. It was too pixelated for Koutaro to tell.
"Ah, Koutaro-kun," Sakuma greeted. "How was school?"
"How was-" and there it was, that fucking casual tone, like there was nothing wrong with this picture. Honestly, what the hell was wrong with the adults in his life, Koutaro thought. "Don't 'how was school', me! Like, look at the place! It got hit by a meteorite, a meteorite! Actually, where is it, lemme see it!"
Sakuma blinked at him, like she didn't quite hear him right. "A meteorite...? Oh, no, no. It got destroyed, it's just dust now, just like Azazel-san."
"That's so mean, Saku..." Koutaro almost jumped out of his skin- where did that voice come from?! "Don't call me 'just dust', I'm right here..."
That accent... Koutaro gasped, "Zel-san?!"
"Heya, boy, how you doin'? Now, listen to me, if you could just help Incubus here to grab some stuff..."
"Shut up."
The ice cold voice cut right through whatever stupid favor the bodyless demon was about to ask. Koutaro froze where he stood, and he was not the only one; Eurynome, Salamander and Incubus had all stopped what they were doing, stealing small, frightened glances at their contractor. Koutaro gulped, had Sakuma always been this scary? He'd never felt so much bloodlust from her before!
Her lips upturned into a small, tight, seemingly sweet smile before she said, "Koutaro-kun, don't listen to whatever worthless garbage the dust is trying to tell you and come help me with the grimoires- we're the only ones who can touch them, after all."
"But Saku-"
"Quiet, Azazel-san."
Koutaro felt pity for the demon as Azazel's disembodied voice whined about how 'cruel and unfair Saku was being'. He looked around and quietly asked the demons if those two had a fight, but was only met with shrugs before the three demons returned to work.
He thought about it for a few moments, thinking about poor Zel... before shrugging himself without a care in the world. Zel was gonna recover soon, Akutabe had said so, and he and Sakuma were gonna make-up soon enough, like they always did. And as long as Sakuma wasn't mad at Koutaro himself, he didn't care- Zel was a good punchbag and he probably deserved it, so as long as Koutaro was safe from Sakuma's wrath, it was all good in his book.
'Besides...' an impish grin, not much unlike a pervert monkey's, spread across Koutaro's face. 'That meant Zel-san's porn collection was free for grabs and there was nothing the shit could do about it, being dust and all.'
Giggling to himself, Koutaro headed for the lockers. He'd worry about beating Osanai later.
After all, all work and no play make Koutaro a dull boy.
Author's note: It's nothing special, but I kinda wanted to see if I could somehow get the character's voices and the tone of the manga right. YonAza is hard to write for, but it's fun to try.
I'm trying to keep the spoilers at a minimum, but I don't know if it'll always be like this. I'll always provide a warning in the beginning, however.
Anyway, I hope this is an enjoyable read. On a side note, it's been almost two years since the manga ended, can you guys believe it? Season 3 when, Yasuhisa-sensei?