Fading Away

(4 ABY)

Nothing appeared to have changed when Serina requested clearance to land at Vader's prominent castle several days later after a long and tear-filled flight. Imperial Center was still as bustling with activity as when she had left it only a few months prior. Everybody seemed to continue with their daily business as if the second Death Star had never exploded, as if the Emperor was still in charge of the huge juggernaut called Empire, and as if her master was just away on some mission, his return only a question of hours or days.

But every cell in her body, every thought in her mind bore proof that it was a lie. That everything had changed. That nothing would ever be the same again. Sure, there had been celebrations right after the news had been rebroadcasted by local groups from the Alliance HoloNet on a wide band for everybody's personal comlink to pick up. But they had been crashed in a most bloody way by stormtroopers and, within just a couple of days, no sign of the changed situation had remained in Imperial City. Everybody had returned to business as usual.

It would not stay that way for long. The Empire was still suffering under the effects of inertia. Those in control were still in shock, acting as if nothing had changed. And yet, soon the hewing and stabbing would start. All those craving power would see it as their chance to achieve a higher position in the hierarchy of influence within the bureaucratic system, refusing to realize that the doom of the Empire was already pronounced, that the time of the return of the Republic was at hand.

Then one day, perhaps just a few months, at the most a few years in the future, Imperial City would fall, would again become Coruscant, the center of a New Republic. And with that fall many would see their chances to get even with whosoever had oppressed or wronged them in the years gone by. With the Emperor and Vader dead, they would look for other scapegoats they could pour their indignation on. And it would not matter at all if those they blamed had truly been responsible for any of the horrible acts committed during the past twenty-some years.

There was only one chance for Serina to escape all of the turmoil already visible on the horizon: to secure whatever wealth was possible to innocuous channels off-planet, to gather her personal belongings from the castle, and then to burn all bridges behind her. And yet she felt compelled to think of others as well. There were many employees in Vader's castle, from the maintenance workers to the guards, from the team of aides to the kitchen staff; mechanics, pilots, and groundkeepers; stormtroopers, officers, and administrative personnel. If they were to have a chance at all of surviving the changes to come, she would have to get them new employment, change their records, get them off-planet, or whatever other escape they might desire. The most important issue was to delete any connections between them and Lord Vader, or else they would certainly be considered guilty just by association. And she would have to get it done quickly or the imminent firestorm would destroy them all.

When the huge hangar doors opened and her sleek vessel settled down on the landing pad, a lonely figure awaited her at the foot of the exit ramp. For long moments, all she could do was to hug Caaroq tightly, refraining from any attempt to hold back her tears.

"So, it is true, after all," Caaroq finally broke the silence, her friend's condition proof that the broadcast from days prior had been anything but the faked propaganda of the Alliance as the Imperials had claimed.

Serina released her out of the embrace and regained her poise. "I don't know what kind of story the Propaganda Bureau made up, but the Emperor is dead, the Death Star destroyed, and Lord Vader..." again her voice broke as the sensation of unbearable loss swept over her, "he is gone, too."

For long minutes, the two women just stood there, lost in thought as each of them pondered the consequences of that disturbing situation. Then Serina took a deep breath and straightened up, resuming her usual, controlled demeanor. "There is a storm coming. We have to get everybody ready for it. I expect every single one of the employees here in the hangar in thirty minutes." Barely waiting for Caaroq's affirmative nod, she turned and headed toward her quarters.

She was going to keep it short, but the men and women waiting for her in the huge hangar bay had a right to make their decision based on reliable information. And yet, she had to be careful. If anybody managed to inform Imperial Intelligence about what she was planning on doing for those who desired it, it could be interpreted as treason. She was not about to risk a confrontation with Iceheart or her agents.

When Serina stepped up to the platform used for the unloading of the supply vessels, an uneasy silence descended as everybody turned their attention toward the young woman.

"Thank you all for coming on such short notice, but we have no time to lose," she addressed the assembled crowd, knowing well that not every one of them was aware of her person or position. "Many of you know me. For the past ten years, I have served Lord Vader as head of his staff, here at the castle or on his respective flagship. What I have to tell you now will be difficult for most of you to accept and the consequences will change the lives of all of us.

Several days ago, you probably received the HoloNet transmission that some rebels managed to rebroadcast on the public HoloNet, not only here in Imperial City, but across the whole known galaxy. Since that time, our government has come up with various views of what happened at Endor, a planet far out on the Rim. And yet, even the Ruling Council has already admitted the great loss the Empire has suffered there at the hands of the Rebel Alliance.

Now, there are two facts that I can confirm for you, no matter what you might have heard before. For one, the Emperor is dead. He died there on a battle station known as Death Star, the second one of its kind. This is no rumor. It is the truth. I was there. I saw it happen. But the Empire itself will continue, at least for now. The months and years to come will show if it can survive without its founder and driving force.

There were many others that died that day, on both sides of the conflict. But what will influence all of our lives is the fact that Lord Vader died there as well."

For a moment, she paused to let the truth sink in, careful to keep the sensation of unbearable loss from showing on her face. Immediately, soft murmurs erupted among the assembled crowd. Some of the original reports had included this fact as well, but so far there had not been any official confirmation of it. And yet Serina doubted that the dismay visible on many of the faces stemmed from sorrow over her master's death. After a few more moments, she lifted her hands and attracted the attention back to herself.

"As I told you before, this is no rumor. I was there. I was at his side when he died and there was nothing, I could have done to prevent it. So, what is going to happen now? Within the next few weeks, I will be closing down this castle. Those of you who reside here will have to find new living space elsewhere. All of you will have to find new assignments or jobs. But don't let this thought dismay you: Lord Vader has always commanded quite some wealth. His funds are at my disposal now. I will use them to help each of you to manage this change.

But," again she hesitated for emphasis, "there is one aspect I want you to consider in the decisions you will have to make. The Rebel Alliance has always had one goal in mind: to eliminate the Empire and to reestablish the Republic. The Old Republic had a capital, and this capital was Coruscant. With the Emperor dead, their next goal will be to conquer Imperial City. It might not happen tomorrow or a year from now. But it will come to pass. And when they take over, they will quickly start looking for scapegoats to take vengeance out on for what they consider crimes of the Empire against its citizens. With the Emperor and Lord Vader gone they will look for those associated closely with them. There are ways to make sure you will not come to harm should this take place. I will help you with that as well if you want to.

Those of you who are up to helping Caaroq and myself with this task at hand, come and see me afterward. Are there any questions?"

Three weeks later, the passengers of the StarLady were the only living souls left in the huge castle. Not everyone had taken up Serina's offer. The stormtroopers had simply been assigned to other military installations; some of the administrative personnel had quickly found positions with other government agencies; others had even considered their association with Lord Vader a benefit and had decided to seek new employment on their own. The rest had their records altered; many of them had received passage off-planet to destinations far away from the hotspot of the upcoming conflict and all of them had been supplied with enough credits to start a new life elsewhere.

Now the vast building was deserted. All entrances had been sealed, all personal belongings removed or destroyed, the databanks not only wiped clean but damaged beyond repair and the huge meditation chamber sealed in a manner than nothing short of blowing it to pieces would allow anybody to intrude.

And it was high time to leave. Grand Vizier Sate Pestage had taken over the control of the Empire together with the Ruling Council, but in her continual surveillance of the Imperial activities, Serina had noticed other elements at work as well, mainly Ysanne Isard, currently Director of Intelligence. She had met the quite unusual and utterly ambitious woman several times in the years past and was absolutely certain that Isard would try to overthrow Pestage sooner or later. It had been on her orders that the celebrations on the day the Emperor had died had ended in a bloodbath and in hundreds being arrested and shipped off to destinies unknown. There had been reports of more riots in the days that followed, but the public HoloNet knew nothing of them at all. Iceheart had made sure of that and more crackdowns on suspected rebels or their supporters were high on the agenda of Imperial Intelligence. So, if they didn't leave now, they might not be able to leave at all.

As the huge blast doors lifted and the sleek black vessel slipped past them into the crowded sky above the sparkling city, Serina cast a last glance at the place she had called home for close to fifteen years. Then she sent out the final signal to the computer system of the castle and at the same time a highly encrypted command to the official databank in the Imperial Palace.

By the time, they had passed the upper layers of the atmosphere and accelerated toward one of the hyperspace entry points beyond the planet's gravity well, the castle had entered a complete shut-down mode and the central Imperial records had "forgotten" that Serina, a captain of the Imperial Navy and special aide to Lord Vader, had ever existed. The programmed "amnesia" would spread quickly throughout all systems connecting regularly to the main databank. What remained were only several of her cover IDs, carefully set apart from her true identity, and the record of a young woman born and raised on the farming planes of Taanab, one among the trillions of citizens of the Empire who never played even a minor part in the galactic struggles of power and intrigues.

The rolling fields of Taanab, just weeks away from harvest, greeted them as they approached the small farm for exotic vegetables south of the mountain range. Herds of roba and staga were roaming the wide grasslands between the farm and the forest, once a training ground for Serina and her teacher. Nothing had changed in the seventeen years that had passed; nothing at all. Even the farm buildings were still the same, aside from a new roof on the maintenance shop and a new surface on the landing field out front.

Gently Serina settled her ship down beside the small storage shed for the landspeeders. For the years to come, it would have to go by the name of Nighthawk, a calling ID used on various missions, yet without any traceable connections to her position in the Empire. According to the official records, she had inherited it from a "Marisa Wanders", a distant relative who had "died" a few years prior.

After powering down the ship, she cast a meaningful glance at the woman beside her. "Ready?"

Caaroq only nodded. She had decided to leave Coruscant together with her friend. After having served Lord Vader for too many years to seek different employment in Imperial City, it was time for a radical change in her life. And Taanab would only be a start, a place to abide the storm that would soon engulf the galaxy. Once the waves had calmed a little and the development of the resurrecting Republic had become more distinct, she would decide on where to go and what kind of employment might be best suited for her future life.

When the ramp lowered and the two women exited the sleek vessel, Marisa and Kayv were already awaiting their unexpected visitors at the entrance to the main building. For a moment, her aunt hesitated. Then she rushed toward the black-robed figure. "Serina? Serina! Is that really you?" She grabbed her niece's outstretched hands and pulled her into a tight embrace.

Then she took a step back and still tightly clutching her hands, scrutinized the younger woman from head to toe. "I can't believe you are here! What are you doing here? How are you? Look at you!"

Serina just smiled at her aunt's exuberance, patiently waiting until she had run out of words. Then she gently pulled one of her hands free and motioned toward Caaroq. "Marisa, this is Caaroq, a close friend of mine from Coruscant. Caaroq, this is my aunt Marisa."

Finally, Marisa let go of Serina's other hand as well. "Welcome to Taanab. Any friend of Serina's is more than welcome to us." As they shook hands, Serina stepped toward her uncle.

For a moment, he gave her a hard stare. Then his features softened, and he pulled her into a hearty embrace. "It's good to see you again. We worried so much about you ever since you left." Then he let go of her to greet Caaroq as well.

A short time later, after they had settled down in the living room, Serina could no longer hold back the question she was burning to ask, "How is Dara doing?"

Kayv cast a meaningful glance at his wife, remembering only too well the beseeching words of Obi-Wan. "Dara?" he replied with a quizzical and at the same time wary expression on his face.

"Yes, my daughter, how is she doing? Didn't Obi-Wan bring her to you?" For a short moment, an awful sensation gripped Serina's heart. Had the Jedi Master betrayed her? Had he brought her child somewhere else where she would never be able to find her again?

But then she remembered the advice she herself had asked him to pass along to her aunt and uncle. What had he told them? Had he revealed to them what would trigger her memory to return? Drawing in a deep breath she gathered herself and, after a glance in Caaroq's utterly surprised face, started to explain in a calm manner. "Ten years ago, I crashed with an escape pod on Tatooine. Shortly after, I gave birth to a baby girl. I named her Dara and gave her to the Jedi Master Obi-Wan to bring her to you. After she was born, Obi-Wan helped me to forget that my child had survived the crash of the escape pod. But he placed a mental trigger in my mind. Apparently, he chose the death of the Emperor, because the moment Lord Vader cast his master into the reactor shaft of the second Death Star, my memory of the events on Tatooine returned. And with it the knowledge of my baby daughter whom I had given up to protect her from the Emperor and Lord Vader." After allowing her words to sink in, she continued, "So, how is she? Is she in Marhead, at my old school? Can we go and see her? And how much does she know?"

She favored her aunt with an expectant look. Convinced, that the conditions the Jedi Master had mentioned to them had been fulfilled, Marisa allowed herself a warm smile. "Dara is doing just fine. And yes, she is in Marhead at school right now. She knows that I am not her birth mother, but that's all she knows. We were just going to pick her up for the upcoming long weekend. I am sure the principal won't mind her leaving for home a day early."

The trip to Marhead did not take long in Serina's ship. Midday recess had just started, and the sleek vessel drew the attention of the students almost immediately. As she descended the ramp followed closely by her aunt, a young girl with blue eyes and a shock of blond, wavy hair pushed her way through the other children already in a loose circle around the visitors. "Mom?" she called out to them as she arrived at the foot of the ramp. But she could not tear her gaze away from the black-clad woman in front of the only mother she had known for the past ten years.

Serina went down on one knee in front of the young girl, already quite tall for her age just as she herself had been as well, and gazed intently up into her face, so unknown and yet absolutely familiar at the same time. "Hi, Dara," she addressed her, "I am Serina." She could sense the unease in her daughter and her completely undeveloped potential in the Force. Apparently, her child had not been plagued with Force visions as had been her lot from an early age on. But it would not take much to activate her potential. Anakin had been nine and Luke already nineteen when they had started their training. Then a broad smile creased her face as she revealed to her, "I am your mother."

For long moments, nobody said a word. Dara cast a questioning glance at the woman who had raised her. When she saw the confirmation on Marisa's face, she took another step toward the woman in front of her and shyly reached out to her. Serina took the proffered hand and placed it on her cheek, using the physical contact to show her daughter how she had been born and given to the Jedi Master. I love you so much, but it was for your protection, she spoke directly to her daughter's mind. And I am so sorry that I couldn't be here in the past ten years. But I am here now. And I am not about to leave you again. As she pulled the girl into a tight embrace, tears started to roll down her face. She could only hope that there would be time enough to make up for all those years with her daughter lost in the service to her dark master.

The following days and weeks passed in a flash. Since it didn't take much time to travel from the farm to the school with the StarLady, she spent at least a few hours every day with her daughter. There was so much she wanted to teach her, but she still had to be careful. Taanab was far away from other worlds already part of the Alliance and whatever changes were slowly taking place in the galaxy, it would take some time for them to influence life on the agricultural planet.

There were still Imperial garrisons in a few of the major cities and, although the Alliance had ensured that the report about the death of the Emperor had filled the HoloNet quickly, most citizens still continued as if nothing had changed. And yet, there had already been some first reports about smaller riots, some of the Imperial installations had become targets of sabotage, and there had even been a yet unconfirmed sighting of an alleged representative of the recently declared New Republic in Pandath. Serina often wondered about how the citizens as a whole would choose: would they join the resurrecting Republic, or would they prefer to stick with the Imperial forces?

Therefore, she usually picked up Dara from school for the midday recess periods and spent those hours with her in some of the places she had frequented with her teacher Marc Camon. Some were in small forests, a few in lonely meadows, and yet others along some of the many small meandering strips of water. And step by step, never demanding, but always gently encouraging, she introduced her daughter to the living energies of the Force around them.

Serina discovered quickly that the easiest way of teaching the young girl was to allow her to experience what the task at hand felt like in her own mind, to show her in pictures and sensations what was often so hard to express in words. Dara proved a fast learner. And it did not take long for her mother to realize that the girl had inherited her own innate ability to easily sense and read other people.

Soon the main harvest time arrived and with it the vacation time between school terms. Dara was quite excited to spend even more uninterrupted time with her mother, but also to return to the farm and see Marisa and Kayv again.

Caaroq had just returned after a two week stretch at the main orbital space station to spend some free days with Serina and her family. With the references from Coruscant, carefully altered to avoid any connection to Lord Vader, she had obtained the position of head of security at the large space docks within just a week after her arrival.

Serina and Caaroq had already settled down on the large living room couch while Marisa was still busy issuing orders for the following day to her household droid. Dara had gone to her room to get the board game they had decided on passing the evening hours with. When she returned and sat down beside the two women, starting to unpack the contents of the box, Serina caught her attention. "Dara, can you sense what I am feeling just now?" For a moment, her daughter concentrated just as she had been taught in the weeks that had passed. Then a smile spread on her face. "You are happy." Quickly her smile faltered as she added, "but also ... sad? Mother, why are you sad?" With a pensive expression, she continued, "You are always sad."

For a moment, Serina hesitated but then she replied, "I'm sad because the love of my life is gone."

"Is he dead, Mother?" Dara inquired.

Serina shook her head. "For this world, he might be dead, but the Jedi always had a saying: luminous beings we are, not this crude matter. You remember what I taught you about the Force." Dara nodded fervently. "When somebody dies, his life energy returns to the living Force from which it once originated. When somebody trained in the use of the Force dies, he will become one with it as well, but he can manage to retain his conscious presence even after death. I've seen it done. And I believe he has achieved that as well." Again, she halted for a moment as a sad longing expression passed over her face. "But I still miss him so much; it just hurts so badly."

Then her daughter put forth the question she had been expecting for days already, "Was he my father? What was his name?"

Serina nodded with a sad smile softening her features. "Yes, he was your father. His name..." She hesitated for a moment. Using the name, he had been known under for so many years while serving the Emperor and the dark side, felt on the one hand so familiar to her, but on the other side, it just didn't apply anymore. Besides, in the end, he had again become the Chosen One everybody had set their hope on, the poster boy of the Republic, a powerful and great Jedi Knight others had looked up to. She wanted him to be remembered as that man and not as the twisted, hardened, evil Sith Lord. "His name was Anakin."

The next question not only surprised Serina but also Caaroq and Marisa who had just joined them. "Is he also the father of my brother?" Then Dara reached toward her mother and placed her slender hand on the small bulge on Serina's belly.

With a fluid motion, she pulled her daughter into her lap, the smile on her face turning radiant. "Yes, of course. But how did you know?"

With a precocious expression, Dara replied, "Mother, I can feel him. He seems to be so happy when he hears you talk."

"You are pregnant?" Caaroq and Marisa asked simultaneously, having finally overcome their speechlessness.

Serina nodded. "I was going to tell you, but somehow the right moment for it never came. But soon you would have noticed it anyway. I just started my fifth month. And Dara is right, it will be a boy and his name will be Ben."

"Serina! Serina! Guess what happened!" Caaroq came rushing into the house, excited about the newest developments.

"We're in the backroom," Serina called to her from the other end of the building. The large room, usually cluttered with chairs, a wide couch. and a midsized viewscreen, had been cleared out and turned into a training room for Dara during her weekend stays. Serina was sitting on the last remaining chair, wearing a dark blue overall that stretched tightly over her bulging midsection. Her daughter stood in the middle of the room, eyes hidden behind a thin blindfold, in her hands one of the training lightsabers Serina had brought along from Vader's collection on Coruscant. A small remote hovered a few feet away from her. At varying intervals, it would emit low energy blasts at the girl. Some hit home, but others her daughter managed to deflect.

"Let your mind drift, stop thinking, open yourself to the energies around you, become one with the Force, let it show you where the remote will be, when it will discharge, allow it to direct your hand and guide your weapon..." As Dara became mesmerized by her mother's hypnotic tone, she stood absolutely still, her body relaxed and alert at the same time. When the remote swiftly darted to her left and emitted another one of its blasts, Dara moved with amazing speed, catching the laser bolt with her lightsaber and sending it back the way it had come before the small droid had a chance to dart to a new position. With a bleep, it deactivated itself and sank to the floor. "Well done," Serina commended her daughter, "why don't you go to your room and get ready for dinner while I have a talk with Caaroq."

When the girl had left the room, Serina got up and gave her friend a quick hug. "She is learning fast," the slightly older woman commented.

Serina nodded. "She is still young. The younger they start, the easier it is. I had a much harder time. After all, I was already close to seventeen when Lord Vader found me."

Caaroq wagged her head. "I don't know. You were already pretty good when I first met you. Although I'm sure your teacher didn't instruct you in that loving way you use with your daughter."

"He certainly didn't. He always considered pain a much better teacher than praise," Serina admitted with a rueful smile. "And the results proved him right often enough. You remember Starkiller or rather his clone?" Her friend nodded, the events on Dantooine from more than five years prior still far from forgotten. "He was the best example for the effectiveness of pain in training somebody in the Force. And yet," Serina shrugged her shoulders and smiled, "love overcame even his conditioning." With a thoughtful expression on her face, she added, "Love is the only power to overcome the dark side. True love that is, a love that's selfless, sacrificing ..." For a moment, her mind replayed the scene she would always connect with that thought, the scene of a Sith Lord grabbing his own master and throwing him down a reactor shaft to save his son at the cost of his own life.

Then she pulled herself out of the reverie. "But you had some news, right?"

Caaroq nodded, her face brimming again with excitement. "We had some new arrivals yesterday at the station. Two transports and a squadron of X-wings registered as traders with a security detail. But it was so obvious that they were much more than that. I'm sure they are from the Alliance. Most of them are still at the onboard facilities, but one of the ships went down to Pandath. And then last night I overheard a conversation in the cantina. I guess they hope that the conglomerates with start supplying the Alliance instead of the Empire. Of course, they never mentioned the Alliance directly, but if you read between the lines..."

"Well, that was to be expected," Serina could not quite share the excitement, "after all, the Alliance worlds need food and Taanab is one of the major suppliers in the region. But I am not sure how the conglomerates will decide. We didn't fare that badly under Imperial control, at least not like some other worlds I know of. And as long as they still have garrisons on Taanab, I doubt the conglomerates with sign any kind of agreement with the Alliance."

Her friend agreed. "I know what you mean. But is there anything we could do to change that attitude?"

Serina considered. Only a few short months ago, she would not have hesitated for a second. How often had she used her abilities to change somebody's mind to align them with her master's plans? And it had not bothered her if she had to use the dark side to do it either. But now, everything was different. It was true, even the Jedi had at times influenced weaker minds, as long as it was for the ultimate good of a situation. But she also had to consider her children. She had to be a good example for them. And she was in her eighth month now. Endangering her child in what that kind of action could easily turn into was just not acceptable.

But they could fly to Pandath and check out whatever was going on there. "Would you be able to stay planetside tomorrow?" she questioned her friend.

"Sure, I can trade shifts for one day. Why?"

"What do you think about a nice leisurely visit to our famous capital? Go shopping, have a nice lunch, perhaps some cake and caf in the afternoon. And who knows, perhaps we just get to meet some of the new arrivals?"