Will was sitting at the bar and absently tried to dry off his shirt and pants with a napkin while his eyes followed MacKenzie who had finally, after a seemingly endless time, broken their eye conversation with a shrug, but also the hint of a smile. The song had ended, and when he hadn't moved she had turned around to walk to the back of the bar.

All he had been able to do was stare after her.

What the fuck had just happened?

For a moment he had been catapulted back to the past and lost himself in those eyes that at one time had been home for him, his pool of strength. What he had seen in them now was the same as he had seen back then – love – and he was certain that his own eyes had sent the same message to her.

But this time it all had been mixed with the pain of everything that had been happening between them in the past. And there had also been doubt, if they could ever trust each other completely again. Of course his own doubt whether she would maybe betray him again, but also Mac's doubt if he would lash out at her or punish her again the next chance he got.

This moment just now had shown him again, how much he still wanted her. How much he still loved her. But the doubt was never far away, and he knew that meant that he hadn't forgiven her, as much as he wanted to. Because if he had, wouldn't he be able to trust her as he had before?

He just didn't know if he ever would be able to do that again.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

„So, Morgan...," Will-Duncan lifted the glass in his hand to his lips without drinking from it yet. „...do you live in the Big Apple or are you just here for a visit? You have a lovely British accent."

Mac didn't answer immediately. She didn't have the faintest idea where this was going, so she had to play it by ear and follow his lead. Apparantly they really were supposed to pretend to be complete strangers, so she shrugged. „Well, I was born in the US and also spent my early years here. And yes, I live in New York. What about you?"

„Same, but originally I'm from Nebraska."

„Ah… And what brought you here… Duncan?"

„Work, what else." Now it was Duncan's turn to shrug. „I'm a lawyer."

„Oh, one of those..." Mac dared to give him a cautious grin. „Are you working for one of the big law firms?"

„No, not at the moment."

Nodding Mac fixed her gaze on her drink which unfortunately was nearing its end, so she looked for the waitress. Duncan however had already lifted his arm.

„Let me get that. More of the same?"

When she nodded he placed her order and got another Bourbon for himself, before they both sat in silence. Duncan's face still gave nothing away, and as Mac didn't want to say anything wrong, she rather said nothing at all than bring up the wrong topic. She waited for his next move, but when it came, she still was none the wiser as to whether he was simply making small talk or was following an agenda.

„What do you do for a living?"

Mac remained quiet for a moment, but then she decided that whatever came up, she would not lie or make anything up. „I'm an executive producer at ACN. You might know the show, Newsnight with Will McAvoy."

„Can't say I do, sorry. I normally watch CNN."

„Then you're missing out on something good; you should check it out."

Duncan smiled. „Maybe I will, now that I know who's behind it."

Will was actually flirting with her!
Mac's inside began to tingle, and although she started to feel a bit more on safer ground, she was still far from being comfortable. He really seemed to want to talk about their lifes, but that didn't mean she knew how far she could go.

„If you are interested in real news and what's going on in the world, you won't be disappointed. However, if you like the shot of an empty runway, where Air Force One is about to land, be presented as ‚breaking news', than you should stick to what you know."

Realizing that she sounded somewhat snippy and condescending she apologized. „Sorry, I'm not good company tonight."

„Bad day at work?" Duncan sounded sympathetic.

„Tell me about it..." Mac rolled her eyes and sighed.

„Well, you could tell me about it. Sometimes it helps to talk about such things with someone who isn't involved." Duncan didn't elaborate and let his words linger in the air, while not giving away for a split second that he knew exactly what she was referring to.

Okay, if he really wanted to go there, she sure as hell was game…

„Let's just say my anchor is quite a piece of work. He's a good guy, but sometimes he has trouble… mmh… getting his priorities straight..."

„Hmm… Well, I'm sure he's sorry about whatever he's done, but yeah… Sounds like you have your work cut out for you." Duncan swirled his drink around in the glass to avoid looking at her.

„Definitely!" Mac was reassured by the fact that he hadn't gotten angry at her words (yet?) and she laughed quietly, thererewith tacitly accepting Will's apology for tonight's show.

„What about you? Are you working alone?"

„Actually, Morgan, I am working with a team, led by the most brilliant… paralegal I could wish for. I certainly wouldn't be able do it without her." He paused for a second. „To be honest, she puts me on the right track quite often and doesn't let me get away with my shit."

Feeling her cheeks blush Mac quickly looked down at the table to hide the smile spreading across her face until she could contain it. „That… that is very nice of you to say. I hope she appreciates it."

Duncan stayed quiet for a long time, and Mac had already started to wonder if she had said something wrong, when he finally spoke. „You know, I am not sure I have ever told her..."

„Oh… Well, you should. I'm sure she'll be happy to hear it." This time Mac openely smiled at him.

„Yeah, maybe I should." Avoiding her eyes, Duncan finished his drink and seemed to make a decision.

„Listen, Morgan, it's time for me to go…" Mac's stomach dropped. „...but I would like to meet you again."

She secretely sighed in relief and her smile widened. „I think I would like that."

::::::::::::::::::::::::

Will had come home from the bar and sat out on the terrace, pondering over the events that had led to him approaching Mac tonight in the way he did.

„How the fuck am I supposed to forgive her? How do I do it?"

Will was at his weekly therapy session and had just talked about what had happened at the bar a few days before. Jacob Habib leaned back in his chair and looked at him. „Do you want to forgive MacKenzie?"

„Of course I do, what a question!"

His therapist smiled mildy. „Are you sure? What if I tell you that people often think they want something, but in reality they are rather comfortable with the situation they are in, because it gives them an easy excuse. They don't have to look at themselves as part of the problem and can blame everything on the other side."

Will remained quiet and thought about what he had just heard. Could it be that he actually didn't want to forgive Mac, but was only trying to avoid looking at his own role in this whole mess?

He shook his head. It hadn't been his fault that she had cheated on him and ruined everything in the process, so he didn't have to look for excuses to not forgive her. After all, he had never stopped loving her, and he wanted to have another chance. He spoke quietly. „Yes, I want to be able to forgive her."

Habib nodded. „Okay. So what is it that makes it so hard for you to forgive her?"

His counterpart predictably jumped at his question. „You know the reason. She fucking betrayed me."

„That is Will talking."

„Who else would be talking?" Will frowned.

„I don't know, but you are so fixated on your own narrative, that you can't see anything else. It might help to look at the situation from a different angle, a new perspective. Be open for a different point of view, don't only focus on yourself. This might help you to better understand what has happened back then, and that would be a first step to forgiveness."

„And just how the fuck am I supposed to do that?" Will sounded dismissive and glared at his psychiatrist. Honestly, had he ever given him less helpful advice?

„I don't know; you have to figure that out for yourself," Habib admitted. „But I am starting to doubt that you will ever get to where you want to be, if you don't find a way."

Will had thought long and hard about Jack's words; how he needed to try and find a way to keep his own perspective out of what had happened six years ago. But all he had been able to come up with was that Habib had been correct. As long as ‚Will' was trying to work through it, his feelings of betrayal and hurt would always get in the way. That pained him more than he liked to admit, but he had no solution for this problem.

Then, a few days later, he had received a letter from his insurance company, and, holding it in his hand, his full name had caught his eye. William Duncan McAvoy.

The beginning of an idea started to blossom within him.

He was not only Will, he also was Duncan!

Maybe Duncan could manage to do what Will couldn't?

It had taken him another three days to pluck up the courage to actually go through with the plan he had developed, and he was immensely grateful that Mac was so unbelievably smart and had seemingly known that it would be a lot easier for him if Duncan wasn't facing MacKenzie.

And now Duncan was going on an official date with Morgan in just a couple of nights.