A/N: I'm not quite sure if I'm happy with the outcome of this chapter, but I'll explore this direction and see where it takes me :)

They slept under the stars that night, both reveling in their success and neither quite ready to return to the galaxy that waited beyond the atmosphere. Their problems hadn't vanished, not by a long shot. There was still so much to do to heal the galaxy after years of turmoil and violence and occupation. So Rey and Ben decided, without saying a word to one another, that they could take this one night to breathe before jumping headfirst into the chaos of a newly liberated galaxy.

Rey slept soundly and deeply, but Ben's sleep was troubled. He was back at the tree he had pummeled earlier that day, but he was wearing his old mask and carrying his old saber. Then he was outside of his body, watching as he slashed the tree to pieces with the crackling red blade. Then Rey was there, out of the blue, standing in front of the other him. The other him tore off his mask, and Ben found himself staring into his own enraged face. Without a moment's hesitation, and in spite of Rey's tears, the other him cut her down. She lay there, lifeless, a smoldering hole through her abdomen. Then he reentered his body and found himself standing over her, clutching the weapon that had just murdered her. His other half. He had killed her, and now she was gone forever.

Then he woke up, covered in sweat and gasping for air. His hands shook violently as he rubbed his face, trying to expel his demon. A sudden terror gripped his heart like an icy fist, and he looked over at Rey, hardly able to breathe. For a long moment, there was nothing. And then her chest rose and fell. She was alive. He lay back on the grass, letting out a long sigh of relief. But the moment he shut his eyes, there he was, holding the mask in one hand and the saber in the other. He sat bolt upright again, fists gripping the grass, tears choking his throat. Will I ever be free of this?

He couldn't bring himself to try to sleep again, fearing the nightmares that waited for him, so he stood and walked to the stream, gazing into its glassy surface. It chuckled along without a care in the world. He glanced down at his hands-still shaking. So he started pacing along the water's edge, trying to let the sound of the water lull him into a more stable mindset. Then he knelt by the water and cupped some of it in his hands, splashing it over his face and bare chest. He rubbed the sweat away, welcoming the bite of the chill water. That done, he shifted to sit cross-legged and closed his eyes to meditate. But there he was again.

Can't you see I'm not that man anymore? he cried out to the Force. He bowed down until his hair brushed the grass and cradled his head in his hands. Hot tears gathered in his eyes. A ragged sob escaped him. I've changed, I've changed, I'm not him anymore. He drove his fist into the ground, furious at himself, at the Force, at everything. I can't live like this, tormented by my past at every turn. I should have let myself die while I had the chance. He clenched the grass in his fists, breathing hard as the tears kept rolling down his cheeks.

You're a monster. Rey's words rang through his mind. You're twisted inside. He gripped his head as though he could make those words stop, his chest aching. He was sobbing uncontrollably now, completely at the mercy of his demon. Between sobs, a breathless plea could just be heard: Please stop. Over and over again. Please stop.

At last, the tears slowed to a stop, and he raised his head from his hands. Everything suddenly seemed clear. He could see the meaning in his dream last night, his vision. He would eventually destroy Rey, as he had already destroyed his family and the galaxy. He had not changed enough yet to leave his past entirely behind him. He had made all the outward appearances of change, but inside, he was still just a twisted monster. Tears rose in his throat again, but he choked them down. I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.

You do.

When Rey awoke the next morning, a bit cold and stiff but otherwise refreshed, Ben was gone. The hollow his body had made in the grass while he slept next to her was still visible, but unoccupied. Mentally shrugging to herself, Rey rose to get the Falcon ready for departure. Ben was probably off practicing with his new saber or exploring the forest or something. He'd be back soon.

But he wasn't. The sun was well on its way to its zenith when she realized that he wasn't going to come back. Perhaps he's hurt. She closed her eyes and reached out with the Force for the rope that always held taut between them. She made her way along it, and she found him at the other end, but it was as though his back was turned to her, as though he had erected walls around his mind. She could sense his presence, but none of his thoughts or feelings. He had never been so closed off to her.

She opened her eyes. He had to still be on the planet. And she would find him. She walked to the stream, where the ground was softer, and searched for signs of his passing. There. He had clearly spent quite some time at the bank of the stream; the grass was flattened in a large circle. She bent down and brushed her fingers to it. An image flashed before her eyes: Ben kneeling, tears streaming down his cheeks, bent over in agony. Please be okay. She placed her entire hand on the flattened grass and focused her energy, asking the very earth beneath her where he had gone. His footprints appeared one at a time, stretching out across the ground before her. She hopped over the stream and followed them onward.

Then she sensed his presence nearby. She looked around, expecting to see him. "Ben? Where are you? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Rey." His voice, rich and deep as always, echoed in her mind. "You don't need to come looking for me. I left to keep you safe."

"What are you talking about?"

"I had a vision, Rey. I watched myself murder you."

"What?"

In reply, he let her see it. In a flash, she was standing in the forest, watching Kylo slash the tree and then impale her. The vision left her breathless, and her knees buckled.

"I had to protect you."

"I can protect myself, Ben," she snapped.

"I know, but I...I can't lose you." He sounded so vulnerable, so afraid. She could sense how much pain he was in.

"You won't lose me," she replied, her tone softer.

"You can't promise that."

She sighed. "Just come back, Ben. Come with me."

"I can't risk it. He's still there, inside of me, and until I leave him behind completely, no one, least of all you, is safe."

"We can figure this out together."

"This is something I have to do alone."

"So you're just going to leave me to rebuild the Jedi Order all on my own?"

"I'll come back when I'm ready."

The hugeness of her task gaped before her like a chasm. "Ben, I don't think I can do this by myself. I need you."

"You need to stay alive first." And then he severed the connection. Just like that. The walls went back up and he was gone. The forest around her felt so much emptier without him.

Fine. Fine. I'll leave you here to rot, if that's what you want. Selfish prick. She turned on her heel and stalked to the Falcon, rigid with anger. In less than five minutes, she was lifting off the meadow floor and blasting off to the rebel base.