New Kurdistan; Systems Alliance-Triple Alliance Border Fleet HQ

Rear Admiral Mikhailovich sat behind his desk with a heavy scowl on his face; glaring at Admiral Hackett's orders on his omnitool.

He always hated how his flotilla had been relegated to what essentially amounted to border Patrol; and spying on the Batarians and the Islamic Triple Alliance, and keeping their incursions into the independent systems in check.

New Kurdistan was friendlier to the Alliance than her neighbors, and allowed an Embassy and a Small Alliance naval base to be built and maintained here. But it was a backwards posting for the most part; at least until recently.

KnockKnockKnock!

"Come in." the Admiral called out, expecting to see the woman that had become the target of his ire as of late; instead he found one of the few officers truly loyal to him walking into his office.

"Ah Senior Lt. King; I trust you received the news?" He asked.

"Yes sir and I came here to ask you to reconsider your orders." The man replied, his face schooled to look calm and composed, but the Admiral could see the beginnings of despair form on his face.

Mikhailovich just sighed and shook his head, turning off his omnitool and grabbing some files from his desk; even in this day and age, paper copies were mandatory for all officers to fill out. "I'm sorry King, I would love to throw the bone your way; but I've gotten direct orders from Admiral Hackett… Send Shepard." He replied.

King winced and clenched his fists; "Sir I don't get it, the Arracourt SR-3 has a perfect record and Shepard… Why you won't even let her gang of Aliens, Pirates, and Army Spooks moor at the base." He insisted.

The Admiral snorted; "Command wants to reward them for tracking down that EA prowler."

"But sir, you and I both know that Shepard and her crew wouldn't have even found the thing if they hadn't been on that moonlight cruise and setting off all of those fireworks for Halloween night." King protested.

Mikhailovich grunted in reply; "Yes well… it seems as if command only judges by results."

KnockKnock!

"Come in!" The Admiral called.

Shepard walked in, wearing her officers jumpsuit; "Good morning Admiral; Lt. Commander Jahenne Shepard reporting as ordered sir." She turned to King with a big smile on her face, "Hiya King!"

King rolled his eyes as soon as she looked away; while Mikhailovich leaned forward onto his desk, "Nice of you to finally join us Shepard." He growled.

"Sorry I'm late sir, but I thought I should wash up first; had a very long night Admiral." She replied, scratching at her bun while she tucked her cover under her arm.

"Oh I know, I hear it was quite the poker game." He replied sarcastically.

"Oh it was a son of a bitch sir;" She replied cheerfully, "King you should have been there, I had three aces and Major Lee-"

"Commander." Mikhailovich said sternly, "Do you know why I sent for you?" He asked.

"Well… quite frankly no sir." Shepard admitted, losing a little bit of her good cheer.

"I'm sending you and the SR-1 to Arcturus with the bi-monthly Black Op's reports." He stated, looking like he had just swallowed a lemon doing so.

Shepard's smile brightened even further; "Arcturus sir? Aw thank you Admiral. HA! Good old rest and relaxation, I know my boys and girls could use some." She exclaimed elbowing King, who pointedly ignored her.

Mikhailovich stood up and walked over to a nearby filing cabinet; opening it and grabbing a think file folder from inside it. "Don't thank me Shepard; if it were up to me I would have your crew out on the border, polishing mines." He growled as he shoved the file into her hands. "It was Admiral Hackett's idea." He stated, walking over to a nearby window.

King couldn't bring himself to stay silent any longer and asked, "Just what do you have on the Admiral that he treats as such?"

Shepard just shrugged, "I guess he just recognizes talent is all." She replied with a light chuckle before she turned to Mikhailovich, "Well I guess I'd run along now sir; goodbye Admiral!" She said, walking out the door after giving a quick salute.

Mikhailovich leaned against the window to his office with a loud sigh; "Cheer up King, they could always run into a Wormhole."

The 30 Navy crew members of the Normandy SR-1 stood around in a big circle in the middle of their mini-base on the planet; Most of them yelling at a small cluster of the crew in the center.

The Alien Special Forces Liaisons assigned to the Normandy; which consisted of, Quarian Marines, STG, Asari Commandos, Turian Blackwatch, Army GST Fireteam Kingslayer, and the rest of the Normandy ground team just stood nearby in a semi-circle.

"I think Shepard will just rip their heads off." The SF Commander, Major August Lee speculated as he watched the five Sailors in the center of the cluster stand there and take the screaming and yelling by their comrades like champs.

"Maybe biotically boil their brains." Wrex added.

"Hey, Shepard's coming!" Tali exclaimed, sounding like she was about to start hyperventilating; catching everyone's attention.

August placed a hand on her shoulder, "don't worry; she can't blame you for something that you didn't do." He stated, before turning to the rest of the gaggle of Sailors. "Alright you knuckleheads, now you're really gonna get it." He said coldly, before everyone rushed the entrance ramp for shuttles.

The Kodiak landed, and Shepard hopped out; grinning a mile away, she gave a quick wave to the pilot who took off in a rush. "Hey everyone! Have I got some great news for you!" She exclaimed, before looking at their makeshift dry-dock; "Hey where's the boat? She getting some maintenance?" She asked, a little confused.

Joker hobbled into the front of the group; "Well skipper…. Not exactly…" He started.

"How about you tell us your news, and we'll tell you ours." Chief Addams said cryptically.

Either she failed to read the atmosphere, or she just flat out ignored it; Shepard kept her happy expression, "Well have I got some good news for y'all; as fast as you can get your gear packed, we'll be leaving for a little vacation for Arcturus station, and then Earth!" She exclaimed with a happy laugh.

The whole crew, even Wrex and Aethyta winced visibly; no one wanted to burst the Commanders bubble. She was always so happy and optimistic; it made everyone feel like they were kicking a puppy whenever they had to break bad news to her.

Of course, they also feared that her puppy like mannerisms would change to that of a rabid wolf.

Jane noticed everyone's expressions and her smile fell a little bit, "Well I don't get it, what's wrong guys? I thought you would be jumping for joy at news like this." She asked.

"I'm afraid we won't be going on that vacation Ell Cee." August said coolly.

Janes smile had fallen away completely now; "What are you talking about?" She asked, the temperature of her voice dropping with every syllable.

"It's because of them!" Williams exclaimed, pointing at Colt, Reegar, Donnelly, Daniels, and Alenko.

"Go on lover boys and girl; tell the skipper why we're not goin anywhere." Archer snapped angrily.

Jane slowly stepped forward to the five crewmembers, while everyone else stepped back to isolate the petulant SF operators and engineers. "Yeah… tell me." She stated.

The five of them shifted and looked at each other before looking back at Shepard; after a long moment, Alenko said; "We lost the boat."

Shepard blinked; "Come again… you what?" She asked, utterly flabbergasted.

"We lost the boat…" Reegar answered looking down at his two toed feet.

Shepard looked between the five of them before bursting out laughing; "oh man, that's a good joke; now what are ya playing at?" She asked.

"They're telling the truth Shepard, they lost the ship." Tali squeaked, hiding behind August in anticipation of the volcanic eruption that was due to take place.

Shepard blinked before saying; "We're not talking about our good old shuttle right? We're talking about our great, big, expensive, stealth frigate; the one with the words Normandy SR-1 on it?" She demanded.

"We lost it…" Colt replied, wincing.

"How the hell could you lose it? When! Where!?" Shepard exclaimed. "Were you all gambling? Did EA blow it up on your watch?"

"No! No… it was unavoidable; you know how a person loses something." Daniels started.

"We just set her down somewhere and we… couldn't find it again." Donnelly finished.

"But this ship happens to be 155 meters long, with dozens of tracking and homing beacons, and is painted bright white, and weighs over 10,000 kilograms!" Jane retorted, utterly dumbfounded.

"Go on you Romeo's and Juliet, tell her the whole story!" Garrus snarled out.

Jane looked at her boyfriend for a moment before looking back at the five crewmen.

"Well…" Colt started.

"Last night we were all feeling kind of restless; everyone else was off the ship grabbing supplies or resting up on the offshore hotels, and the five of us were on watch last night." Alenko said.

"And there was an integrated village of both humans and aliens; cleanrooms too…" Reegar continued. "But we couldn't technically leave the boat in the dry-dock unattended, so we took it with us."

"We disabled all the trackers, activated the cloak and stealth systems, and parked her somewhere in the mountains beside the village." Daniels picked up.

"And uh… we decided to go and have a little bit of a mini-R and R break since we didn't know we would be leaving today." Donnelly stated.

"Well after we parked the boat, we made sure the cloak was on so that no one in orbit could see it; and we went down to the village and started to go around and go drinking and partying and hang out with some women of the night." Alenko said, looking ashamed.

"I was supposed to be the designated driver, but everyone kept pushing beers into my face, so I just gave in and got drunk like the rest of them." Daniels admitted. "After a bit, we realized it was approaching morning, so we decided to head back to the ship…"

Reegar shifted on his feet; "Commander, you know what the mountain ranges here are like at night while you're drunk." He exclaimed.

Jane shook her head, her baffled expression still not leaving her face; "No… what is it like at night while your drunk?" She asked only slightly sarcastic.

"Well… it's… its dark." Colt supplied. "Pretty soon, we realized none of us remembered which mountain we parked it on, and it was too dark for us to make our way back. We finally found a nearby road; and hitched a ride from a friendly farmer back to here…"

"And that's… how we… lost the boat." Alenko finished.

Jane slowly nodded and turned away; "I just… felt that it couldn't be too easy to lose a light frigate." She finally said.

All five gulped, before Donnelly exclaimed; "It wasn't easy at all skipper, the insects and all the mud and shit on the roads-" he started before Shepard stormed up to him, her biotics flaring with barely restrained fury.

"NOW LOOK HERE YOU WASHED UP ROMEO!" She roared, everyone stepping back in fear as she yelled; "You are going to go back to that village, and you are all going to go search every single mountain that's big enough to hold her; get local police, anything! But you don't come back here without my ship!" Then she turned to the rest of the crew, "My ground team and SF leaders stay here; everyone ELSE!" Everyone jumped, "You go with them! And make it fast! Now get going!"

August and Tali tossed another roll of camo netting over to the other side of the giant tarp the group had set up. Wrex, Aethyta, Liara, and Shepard Biotically lifted whole squares into place; while Williams caught the piece of netting Tali and August had just thrown.

Phil and Archer checked the ropes and knots keeping their little deception tied to the ground; making sure that none of them were bad. Captain Kirrahe was just muttering to himself about how there was no way that their idea was going to work, and had already resigned himself to getting relegated to backwater duties or forced retirement.

"I still think that it'll work…" Liara started uncertainly.

"If any brass comes nosing about, they won't know the difference." Garrus retorted confidently as he lashed another rope down.

"If Mikhailovich or anyone else finds out about this; they'll hang us by our thumbs from the nearest yard arm." August pointed out.

Tali looked at her three fingered hand and twitched her thumbs; gulping.

Jane went to grab another piece of camo-netting; and then happened to glance in the direction of the main base, and saw her worst nightmare. "Oh no!" She exclaimed, as she spied the Admiral's personal shuttle approaching their temporary station.

Everyone quickly gathered around her, looking panicked; "Leave it to Mikhailovich to smell trouble a mile away!" Archer hissed, all the color draining from her tanned face.

"Never liked short thumbs anyway." Wrex stated.

"Quick, everyone go act like you're doing something important; act natural and chat it up while I go meet him." Shepard ordered.

Everyone did just that, huddling near their housing units or by the camo netting to help cover it up; while Jane speed walked to the platform the Admiral had stepped off his shuttle.

"Admiral sir!" She said giving a quick salute.

Mikhailovich saluted back, looking surprised to see her; "Shepard your still here?" he asked, recovering quickly, and started walking down towards the tarp.

"Just making some last minute preparations sir." Shepard replied.

"Hmm… I would have expected you to be halfway to Arcturus by now; I'm having an inspection tour." He explained, coming up to the Ground team and the alien SF team leaders.

He eyed the Aliens with something akin to disdain; and outright glared at the Army troopers, and Major Lee glared right back at him.

The Admiral snorted then looked at the tarp; "You know that is quite the camo job you've done there; the Army troopers talk you into doing it?" He asked sarcastically.

"Yes sir, Major Lee figured we should get some practice in doing it the old fashioned way." She explained, keeping her voice level.

Mikhailovich nodded while raising an eyebrow; "You could hardly tell that you have a ship under there at all." He admitted, before looking back at the housing units and the moorings; "Where's the rest of your gear and crew? You certainly don't seem to be in any hurry to leave." He noted.

"The gear is on board and the crew is making final preparations and Intel gathering with the local's sir." Major Lee answered, which Jane was thankful for; because she was finding it harder and harder to keep her tongue untied.

The Admiral shot him a glare, before looking back at the netting; "You know Commander, this is the best camo job I've seen in a long time;" He started, pushing Mordin and Aethyta out of the way. Everyone paled as he got closer, barely able to keep their faces straight; or in Tali's case, stop herself from having a full on nervous breakdown.

August quietly shuffled in front of her to hide her shaking.

The Admiral started shifting the netting around and lifted some of it up; "Why you could hardly tell there is a-" Mikhailovich stopped dead in his tracks, then slowly turned around to face the group. Everyone's hearts stopped upon seeing the completely stupefied expression on his face. "Commander… your ship, it… it isn't there." He stammered.

Shepard gave a light shake of her head, "It isn't?" she practically whimpered.

"No…" The Admiral replied, still stunned.

"It isn't sir, because it's down in maintenance sir. Some of the crew took it out for repairs sir!" August exclaimed, trying desperately to salvage the situation.

"Really?" Mikhailovich asked, his sarcasm starting override his incredulity now. "Well then you're in trouble, because no ships are allowed to go into maintenance without my approval."

Tali gulped, "Well… Admiral, in an emergency we can park the ship in drydock."

"Oh? Then what was your emergency?"

"Er… well…" Tali stammered.

"Shut up…" Mikhailovich said coldly before turning back to Shepard. "Now then, out with it Commander; I want the truth, and I'm not leaving until I get it! Now what happened to your boat?" He demanded.

Shepard gulped, bristling slightly at his callous treatment of Tali, but knowing it wasn't the hill to die on she just said; "We lost it." she admitted.

August winced, knowing what was coming next as Mikhailovich stared at the Commander for a moment before slowly walking up to the tarp that had been set up. To everyone's surprise, he actually started laughing; then that laugh turning into full scale cackling as the Rear Admiral doubled over laughing.

No one joined him; as everyone wondered if the Admiral had snapped and was going mad.

After catching his breath Mikhailovich stammered out, "Oh Shepard, for a minute there, I-" before bursting out into another round of laughter, the man struggling to get himself under control. "You had me there for a second; I genuinely thought you lost your boat!" He exclaimed as he descended into another fit of giggles.

No one dared laugh as they weren't sure how to respond as the Admirals laughter tapered off.

He stopped laughing as his smile dropped, "Holy shit you're serious aren't you…" He said.

Shepard nodded reluctantly, and the admiral gave a short nod as he started pacing in front of them. "How did it happen Commander? Was it a spacial mine? Or was it an EA suicide bomber? Or maybe it was an EA prowler, now that would do it wouldn't it?" he asked.

Shepard gulped, "Well… no sir it wasn't in combat… we just lost it. We put it someplace and just couldn't find it again." She said, looking down at her feet.

"Oh… well you've just managed to get yourself kicked out of the Navy. You're through Shepard, and your crew as well! I am going to break this crew so far apart that they will never be heard from again." He snarled. "And you Shepard, you will be spending the remainder of your life at Fort Leavenworth; you won't even be jailed with your fellow sailors, no you'll be stuck with your Majors fellow grunts." He turned to Nomad and said, "Major Lee, She is in your custody; and I want to see you both at my office by 1630. And you can tell former Lt. Commander Shepard that she can save herself a lot of time by beginning to pack." Mikhailovich ordered as he stormed off back towards his shuttle.

The shuttle warmed up its engines as August and Jane walked up the ramp, both of them in their Pinks and Greens, and Dress Whites respectively; the Ground team waving goodbye. "Don't worry guys, we'll let you know when they find the boat!" Archer shouted.

"Try and stall him as long as you can!" Phil added over the humming of the engines.

Both of the officers waved at the ground team, and the ramp closed behind them; while the Shuttle took off towards the main base.

Once the shuttle was gone, they all turned back to the now disassembled camo-netting; Wrex shaking his head as he did so, "Hmph, your Navy sure is made up of some pyjacks; so what you lost a ship, it's just a frigate. We lost them all the time." He grumbled.

"A shame, we got all those Stealth Frigates out there too." Aethyta added.

"Yeah, but none of them are ours." Garrus snorted.

"It's not like the Normandy is a one of a kind ship." Liara grumbled.

Archer froze and asked, "Tali, could you disable all the tracking beacons and systems on the Normandy like Kal did?"

Tali blinked and tilted her head, "Yes, but the Normandy isn't here."

Archer grinned a very wolf like smile, "Oh yes it is, do we have any paint around here?"

Kirrahe's eyes brightened as he immediately put together what Archer was thinking, "Will not work, they will immediately notice difference!" He exclaimed.

Ashley put it together next, and burst out laughing, "Oh my God Aya! That's brilliant!"

Archer laughed as well, taking off in a sprint; "Well come on then! We don't have much time!"

Shepard paced around the waiting room and entrance to Mikhailovich's office, sweat beading down her face while she did so. August was sitting in a chair with a far off look in his eyes; his round rimless glasses, mixed with his Pinks and Greens archaic look, and what he called his "Captain Price" Mutton Chops, gave him the appearance of a 19th century businessman waiting for the verdict of an important deal.

Finally, Shepard stopped pacing; and after a quick look at Mikhailovich's secretary, she turned to August and asked, "Lee, you're an expert on regulations; if only to find ways to circumvent them. What exactly can the Admiral do to me?"

August thought it over and replied, "Well I don't know Shep, there isn't exactly a regulation for misplacing a boat." Then he grimaced, before adding; "But there are other statutes that apply. There's Negligence, Conduct Unbecoming an Officer, and Dereliction of Duty…"

Jane sighed, running a hand through her bun to make sure it was still in proper shape; "Alright, so the old man has more than enough on me to get me kicked out of the Navy and possibly imprisoned."

August winced, "Not necessarily Jane, I don't think he would do just that." He noted. "There's also the matter of restitution."

"Restitution?" Shepard asked, visibly confused.

"Yeah, since the ship was not lost under the line of duty, but still under your command… You're obliged to pay for It." he explained.

Shepards already pale skin turned white; "OH NO!" She yelped.

Just then, the Admiral walked out of his office and up to his secretary. "Get Senior Lieutenant King and Senior Lieutenant Romanov up here right now." He ordered, before turning to August and Jane. "Major Lee, I want you in my office; I'm going to need some statements from you on those forms."

"Yes Sir." August replied, shooting Shepard a sad look before he walked into the office.

Mikhailovich went to follow him, but paused and looked at Shepard again; "Oh Ms. Shepard, I've got forms in that office you've never heard of; I'm really going to make this stick." He hissed, before heading into his office and shutting the door.

Shepard gulped, and went back to pacing the office for a few minutes, although it felt like hours to her. Just then, Archer walked into the room and walked up to Shepard, standing at attention. "Commander," She started, snapping off a quick salute, "Ms. Zorah would like me to tell you that the Normandy SR-1 is ready; and that we can leave for Arcturus Station and Earth at any time."

Shepards face brightened, her eyes brimming with tears; "Y-You found the boat?! Aya I could kiss you, where was it?!" She asked, choking up slightly.

Archer could barely keep the smirk off of her face while she faced away from the commander, "Ms. Zorah says that the boat was never lost ma'am; it was over at maintenance and already logged in, and we just forgot to tell you ma'am."

Shepards face twisted into confusion, "Maintenance? But Kal said…" She trailed off as Archer turned her head to face Jane, a wolf like smile on her face.

Jane blinked as realization dawned on her face, a smile slowly adorning her features; "You mean there's a ship out there right now; a Stealth frigate with the words Normandy SR-1 on it?" She asked. "A boat that belongs to us?" she quickly added.

"That's right Ma'am, Normandy SR-1 is ready to stand inspection… Anyone's inspection." Archer replied.

Shepard nodded, the grin now threatening to split her face in half; "Well… Aya tell the crew I'm proud of them; and tell them to stand ready while I go sort things out with the Admiral."

KnockKnockKnock!

"Come In." Mikhailovich snapped impatiently while he and August sorted through the assorted papers and files.

He turned and saw Shepard entering the room; "Ah Ms. Shepard, I thought you were King; wait outside while I sort out these forms. I want to make sure I close every loop hole." He said dismissively.

"Loop holes about what sir?" Shepard asked cheekily.

"You know damned well what Ms. Shepard; oh I'm enjoying this Ms. Shepard, I'm enjoying this more than the time we confiscated that shipment of Alcohol of every species in the Galaxy." He said happily.

"Really Admiral? Well I have some good news sir, my boat was never really lost; it was just a misunderstanding sir." Shepard replied, not once losing her smile.

"Mmhmm," Mikhailovich mumbled as he nodded absently, sitting down; "Well you can tell that to the Court Mar-" he stopped and snapped his gaze to Shepard, his smile dropping from his face. "What do you mean it wasn't really lost?" he asked.

"Well sir, my crew did log the ship into maintenance and just forgot to tell me sir!" She explained quickly, her smile not dropping a millimeter.

"Do you mean to tell me that you found your boat?" The Admiral demanded.

"Yes sir! She's ship shape and ready to go!" Shepard replied.

August for his part slumped slightly, letting out a sigh of relief while muttering; "Oh thank you sweet merciful God."

The Admiral glared at both officers, before saying; "Shepard, there is something fishy going on here."

Shepard gulped slightly, but said; "No sir, nothing fishy at all; just a bit of human error is all sir. I'm so sorry to put you through all this trouble sir."

August grabbed the forms that he had been filling out and asked, "Er, would you like me to shred and burn these forms sir?"

"ABSOLUTLY NOT!" Mikhailovich bellowed, causing August to jump and drop a few forms. The Army major quickly regained his composure and deftly caught all the forms he had dropped before they touched the ground. "I want those forms put away; I may get to use them yet." The Admiral growled.

August put the forms on the table while Shepard grabbed his arm, starting to tug him away; "Well sir if that'll be all, we'll be on our way to Arcturus and Earth sir!" she exclaimed.

"Oh no you won't! You think I've gone nuts? Senior Lieutenant King and the Arracourt will be heading to Earth, while Senior Lieutenant Romanov will deliver the reports at Arcturus; you're lucky I'm not throwing you all into the brig!" Mikhailovich snarled, before walking back over to his desk.

Pressing a button he called his secretary, asking "Lieutenant King and Lieutenant Romanov out there yet?"

"Yes Admiral, Romanov's here; but not King." The secretary replied cheerfully.

"Send him in;" Then he turned to the two officers, smirking slightly; "Arcturus indeed… why you aren't even in the same league as King. In my eyes that man is a real N7, and true Navy. As for Romanov… well… bad apples tend to cluster together."

The door opened and Romanov walked in; his officers peaked cap tucked under his arms as he gave a picture perfect salute to the Admiral. "Senior Lieutenant Romanov reporting as ordered sir!" He said, a thick Russian accent tinting his voice.

Mikhailovich looked him up and down with a frown on his face, taking in Romanov's black hair done up with the sides buzz cut while the top was left long; before giving a look at Shepard and Lee. Shaking his head, he said "Well Romanov, I have some good news for you; Shepard and the Normandy aren't going to Arcturus, You and the Bastogne are."

Romanovs face dropped, and he gulped; "Me sir?" He asked.

Mikhailovich frowned, "Yes you, what's the matter with you; don't you want to go to Arcturus?"

Romanov started sweating as he said, "More than anything sir, but I'm afraid we won't be able to."

Mikhailovich, Shepard, and Lee all looked at each other; the surprise and incredulity matched on their faces; "You won't be able to, why the hell not?" Mikhailovich demanded.

"We lost our boat…" Romanov managed to choke out.

Mikhailovich's mouth opened and closed for a few seconds; making him look like a fish, before he finally asked, "You lost your boat?'

"Yes sir, just a little while ago… I-I can't understand how it happened sir." Romanov stammered.

Mikhailovich gave both Romanov and Shepard a cold look, saying; "Well how 'bout you ask Shepard; she lost her boat too."

"But we found ours sir!" Shepard protested.

"When!?" Romanov demanded.

"Only a few minutes ago." She replied.

Just then, there was a knock on the door; and King walked in. "Senior Lieutenant King reporting as ordered sir!" He exclaimed.

Mikhailovich glared at the man, looking him up and down; before saying, "You've lost your boat too haven't you; you lost the goddamned Arracourt." The Ukrainian Admiral hissed.

King blinked, gulping as sweat appeared on his forehead; "H-how could you tell sir?" He asked meekly.

"WHAT AM I RUNNING AROUND HERE?" Mikhailovich roared, and all four officers snapped to attention; "Am I running a naval base or a lost and found?" He turned back to the four officers, "What am I going to do with you four? Shepard and Lee lose their boat and all of a sudden it turns up again right as King and Romanov lose theirs… what am I going to do."

Shepard and Lee started backing away, "Well we already have our ship sir, if you need us we'll be at our base. Goodbye Admiral." She said, opening the door as the two of them practically sprinted out the door.

Mikhailovich glared at them, then at Romanov and King.

"Romanov, you have thirty minutes; if you don't find your boat, you can turn in your bars. King, pick up those files." He growled.

The Normandy Ground team was polishing the outside of the ship; frantically running polishing rags around the name and number to make sure the paint had dried completely. Archer walked along the dock, making sure everything was in place as she said; "Well how are things coming?"

"All good!" Tali replied, "She looks just like the Normandy; the Bastogne wasn't as different as I feared. This should tide us over until we find the old one."

"Good!" Before turning her attention to the docks, she saw two figures heading their way, "Oh shit, officers incoming; look sharp!"

Williams, who was above the letters, exclaimed; "It's the skipper and the Major!"

The ground team immediately hopped off the ship and rushed the two officers; yammering the whole way. Shepard held up a hand to stop them, exclaiming; "hold up there guys, why did you take Romanovs ship? Or did you take Kings?"

"Beggars couldn't be choosers, we couldn't get close to Kings so we took Romanov's; good thing too since his ship is in similar shape to ours." Archer explained.

"Speaking of which, look whose coming." Liara noted.

Everyone turned to see Romanov sprinting towards them, "Why the fuck did you have to steal my ship!" He demanded.

"Beggars can't be choosers Mads, Besides; I think your boys already took to our line of thinking." Shepard replied.

"What makes you say that?" He asked.

Just then, another stealth frigate pulled up to the docking clamps next the Bastogne/Normandy; the letters on this new ship reading, Bastogne SR-4. As soon as the clamps had secured her, the ground team of the Bastogne rushed out to meet their skipper.

"Boss, we found the boat!" The squad leader exclaimed.

Romanov gave them a suspicious smile; "You wouldn't have happened to have painted over the letters, 'Arracourt SR-3' did you?" He asked sarcastically.

"Whatever do you mean sir?" His team leader replied with an innocent look on her face.

Everyone laughed, until Tali exclaimed; "Oh Kheelah! Shepard look!"

Everyone turned and saw a third stealth frigate pull up to the dockyard; pulling up to the Docking Clamps; the letters were bright as day, Normandy SR-1; with the fake SR-1 right next to her.

"They found your boat!" Romanov exclaimed, his face pale.

"Oh Shit! Now we got two of 'em!" Shepard wailed, "GO BACK!"

Everyone outside started frantically waving at the cockpit, trying to warn Joker off; before giving up and running to the disembarking ramp for the SR-1.

The ramp opened revealing Kal, Colt, Daniels, Donnely, and Alenko all grinning like madmen.

"Skipper we found the boat!" Alenko exclaimed.

"Goddammit go and lose it again!" Shepard screamed back, her biotics flaring.

"Lose it, what do ya mean? It took us forever to find her!" Colt asked.

"You dumbasses! Can't you see that we have twins?" August shouted back.

"Dammit if Mikhailovich or King sees us we're dead!" Romanov added frantically.

"Get this damned boat out of here!" Shepard shrieked, her voice rising in pitch as her panic became more pronounced.

"But it's our ship!" Kal said.

"From now on it's the Arracourt SR-3! Now get outta here!" August shouted, as everyone frantically scrambled to get away so the ship could take off.

King paused in filling out the forms in front of him as Mikhailovich paced the room behind him. Just a few minutes ago, Romanov had messaged them that he had found his boat in maintenance; his XO having sent it there to replace a ruptured Eezo line.

After a few seconds, he summoned up the courage to say; "Begging your pardon sir; but have you given any thought to the coincidence involved here sir?"

"Coincidence?" The Admiral asked absently.

"Yes sir, Romanov seemed to lose his boat at the same moment Shepard found hers; and then Romanov seemed to find his within minutes of my crew losing my boat." King explained.

Mikhailovich gave him a hard look, saying; "You're not inferring…"

"I… need to check it out before I make a direct accusation sir!" King admitted. "But I wouldn't be surprised if one of the two ships Shepard and Romanov have is my boat."

Mikhailovich seemed to think it over before leaning over his desk. "You know King I must be getting old… now that you mention it I would not be surprised either… BOAT STEALING! That'll put 'em away for a long while!" he exclaimed, rushing to grab his cover; while King opened the door with the biggest smile on his face.

The crews of the Normandy and the Bastogne were working to prepare their ships for their departure back to patrols; the rest of the Normandy crew having piled into the new ship while Kal, Donnely, Daniels, Alenko, Colt, and Joker repainted and hid the original Normandy.

Lee, Romanov, and Shepard stood at the docks talking to each other when King and Mikhialovich walked up to them.

Looking at the two ships and at the clearly painted names and ship numbers, Mikhailovich asked, "Still think one of these two could be your boat King?"

"No sir, without a doubt, any ship this dirty and unkempt would only belong to Shepard and Romanov." King replied sulkily, his only out now gone.

Looking the ships over while Romanov and Shepard spluttered over the insult to their ships; Mikhailovich said, "I agree; Commander, Lieutenant… get these garbage scows off of my base."

Shepard and Romanov looked at each other while Lee said, "Well uh… they are little untidy aren't they sir? Well we'll be casting off then."

The three officers went to leave, but then King surprised them by exclaiming, "Admiral Look, I think that's my boat!"

All of them looked into the sky as a third stealth frigate pulled into dry dock, the docking clamps locking her in place. "I say that does look like the Arracourt doesn't it?" Shepard asked.

"It is my boat, we got her back!" King replied happily, dashing off to the entrance ramp.

Mikhailovich sighed and looked at the other three officers, "Our Admiral, back when I was a Captain, used to warn us about days like this." He grumbled before they all went to follow King.

They all walked up to the ramp where King was talking with XO and squad leader.

"-the boat was down in maintenance; and when we got there, there she was!" The XO was saying.

"I just don't get how we lost her in the first place." The squad leader noted.

"Doesn't matter men, the important thing is that we got her back." King stated firmly.

"Now King are you sure that this is your ship?" Mikhailovich asked, looking like he desperately wanted a nap at the moment.

"No doubt about it sir! I trust you can tell the difference?" King asked proudly.

The Admiral just nodded and asked, "Romanov, you leave for Arcturus; Shepard you go back on patrol, and King are you ready to leave for Earth?"

"The Arracourt is always ready sir! My Guardians are always charged and my Torpedoes are always primed." He proclaimed proudly, smacking the nearby torpedo tube.

To everyone's shock, it gave a hollow clang.

Romanov frowned and knocked on it, making a hollow banging noise.

Lee tilted his head, and typed a command into his omnitool; and the torpedo tube opened up, spilling several beer cans onto the ground.

Everyone stared at the beer as horror and realization dawned on Kings face; he knew exactly what had happened, and he was now getting the short end of the stick. Mikhailovich for his part knelt down and picked up one of the cans while glaring at King.

"What is this Senior Lieutenant, some kind of new Spacial Charge?" He asked sarcastically. "Beer cans in the torpedo tube?"

"Shocking sir… shocking, why it wouldn't surprise me if there was porn downloaded into the ships mainframe." Shepard added in a straight face.

Romanov typed a command into his own omnitool; pulling up a picture downloaded from the internal drives of the ship. "They do have porn on their ship! Hey Male Quarian on Female Human…" He noted, staring at the picture.

King's face was turning whiter and whiter as he glared at his two rival ship commanders.

Mikhailovich for his part walked up the ramp to a nearby storage locker that had frost on the outside; "And what is this locker full of King? Ice Cream?" He pulled it open, and immediately shot King a ferocious glare before pulling out a tub of ice cream with the label 'Shepard's Pie Flavored'.

The Admiral walked up to the officers; King as white as a sheet of paper, Romanov still staring at the porn while Lee tried to look over his shoulder, and Shepard was barely containing her laughter. "ICE CREAM!?" Mikhailovich bellowed.

"S-sir I-I-" King started.

"King you just stand there at attention. AT ATTENTION!" Everyone snapped to attention while Mikhailovich fumed silently. "I swear," He hissed, "Never in my entire career have I had so much trouble sending a crew on vacation to Earth before. Shepard is the Normandy ready?" He asked.

"Yes Sir!" Shepard stated proudly.

"Then go… both of you go before something else happens to make me change my mind again!" He ordered.

"Aye Aye Sir!" Lee, Romanov, and Shepard shouted; taking off at a run to their ships while Mikhailovich snatched another beer car and shoved into Kings hands.

"Open it." He ordered while he opened the tub of Ice Cream and grabbed a spoon from nearby, angrily shoving the Ice Cream into his mouth as he did so; trying to find some comfort for the end of a very trying day, only to have that ruined as well as the particular Beer he had given King had been shaken very badly in the confusion.

As the universes final middle finger to the two officers; they were both sprayed down with beer as King opened the can. Though neither could prove it, they were sure Shepard, Romanov, and Lee were all laughing at them.

Back on the Normandy, everyone settled in for the trip to Earth; everyone resting in the break room as August tried to spool up the holotable to start their nightly Hearts of Iron 4 match.

"Man… what a day…" Shepard sighed.

"You know, we're going to need to get the real Normandy back at some point." Liara pointed out.

"Yeah but that's a problem for future us." Wrex noted.

"Yeah…" Aethyta agreed.

"What is taking so long Major, I want to dominate as the Soviets this time." Kirrahe asked impatiently.

"I don't know, it's not loading." August replied angrily.

"Speaking of which, could one of you go get me a beer and the ice cream?" Shepard asked.

"Sure thing skipper." Colt replied, before he did a double take. "Shit."

"What?" Tali asked.

"Oh…" Archer put her head down on the table, while Phil face palmed.

"Skipper we forgot, we're on Romanov's boat; and he's a Russian born Chechen Muslim, he doesn't drink beer!" Williams exclaimed, while Alenko wisely tried to hide behind her; Kal doing the same with Tali.

Shepard looked at everyone in the room before the Gunnery Chiefs words fully hit her. "Oh you have got to be shitting me!"

I shot awake from where I lay on my cot; blinking in confusion as the last dregs of sleep left my body. I looked around the hanger bay where the rest of the newly reactivated Task Force 1-4-1 members slept.

I checked the clock next to me, and it read "0500."

"What the fuck was that dream?" I mumbled to myself as I got up; looking at my mug, I walked to the kitchen to get myself some water. Okay… no more caffeine before going to bed; that was a really weird dream. I promised myself.

A/N: APRIL FOOLS!

I had y'all thinking this was a real chapter didn't I? Well don't worry; it was all just a weird caffeine induced dream for August. All you older viewers might know where this chapter drew inspiration from; if you do know, you win a cookie.

My discord link is now rUQYqjJ, PM me if it doesn't work.

With this Quarantine, I'll try and put out more chapters since I have nowhere to go, and my Calc II class has been gutted since it's now online.

That's the good thing about this plague, content Creators who don't do this for a living now have the free time to write/make videos/just have fun in general. That is if you or your family are not suffering from Corona virus; cause if you are that really sucks.

In any case, I have to give a quick shout-out to the Fanfic Writer PlutosDaughter11. I am more inclined to scifi; but she is a superb supernatural fantasy writer. Normally it's not my cup of tea, but her stories are so good that I read them anyway. Go check her out while you wait for updates from me.

Also Check out Gabenator5, his crossovers The Wreck and The Unknown Defender are among the best. But don't expect updates as he's in the military, so he hasn't had time to write all that much.

Tell them I sent ya if they ask.

Now then, I would love a TV Tropes Page.

Check out the main Story, A Ghost and a Spectre.

Fanart is appreciated, as is entries into this series; Join the discord using the link above.

PM me or join the discord if you got any questions or collab ideas.

Leave a review as always.

And I will see ya when I see ya.