The following short fic takes place after "Notice her more, Wario!", all the while beginning with a letter from Wario, read from Mona's P.O.V. for the first half. In my honest opinion, Wario isn't really a bad guy, but rather misguided (in a goofy manner) when it comes to his attempts at getting rich.
DISCLAIMER: WarioWare Inc. and all related game franchises are properties of Nintendo. Bomberman, Contra and Castlevania are owned by Konami. Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi belongs to Renegade Animation. All other franchises - be they TV show or video game - that aren't owned by either aforementioned company are properties of their respective owners. The only stuff I own in this story are as follows: Phoebe (9-Volt's best friend); Blaze Bomber and Arctic Bomber of the Contra Force; Red Falcon's four Hate Bombers (Sniper Bomber, Axe Bomber, Volcano Bomber and Siren Bomber); Diamond City's two locales being Diamond Arcade World and Topaz Tavern.
-Wario's letter to Mona-
[Message BGM: Holding My Thoughts in My Heart (Final Fantasy VII)]
To my dearest Mona, more beautiful than any other jewel I can find in my treasure-hunting escapades...
Look, I know I've been a bit of a jerk ever since I got my hands on that golden pot of Luxeville. Wait, scratch that - I had been acting like a big dumb jerk, not to mention a bad influence on 9-Volt, Kat and Ana...yes, even his best friend Phoebe, as he and 18-Volt reminded me. And yes, I WAS displeased when you guys agreed to split the cut, but only because of the after-effects of the corruption that transformed me into, well, that. But hey, I guess you could say we put on a big, big show for everyone in Diamond City in a good way, 'cause that's what WarioWare's all about! Wacky humor, a variety of microgames, all that cool stuff!
And like I said the other day during that "Red Ninja of Love" incident at my house, I acted like an idiot, a real numbskull, a selfish diaper-baby, and a stinkbrain. No, I'm not writing this outta spite or to vent my anger. I'm writing it because...let's just say I sorta relate to Wreck-It Ralph, what with the way he apologized to Vanellope von Schweetz in full for smashing her kart. I really, really, REALLY do relate to Ralph.
When I say "greed is good", I don't mean it in a way that it harms other people in real life. Believe me, you and I know a buncha selfish jerks that are WAY worse, be they in a video game or the real world. I'm talking M. Bison, Sigma, Ganondorf (heh, more like Ganon-DORK), Mr. X, Dr. Claw, Andross, Pigma Dengar, Dracula, Ridley, Red Falcon and his psychotic goons, and especially the big wigs at EA! Yeah, them and their "surprise mechanics"! Me, I'm just the kinda guy who kicks evildoer ass and takes names. Yeah, baby!
By the way, Mona, don't believe what Claw's face looked like when they revealed it. He don't scare me none despite his constipated look, cuz personally, I think he could have been a cat demon. After all, he WAS Earth's greatest threat until Gadget finally defeated him, but enough about that.
Now to quote 9-Volt's mom, though I hate to admit it: "Greed that goes too far not only is a big fat no-no, it also begets sorrow!" Yep, you never EVER wanna make 5-Volt angry. Or Pit's girlfriend, Phosphora. Last time I did that, I couldn't sit down for a week without wincing in pain!
Speaking of Pit and Phosphora, you guys had every right to teach me a lesson, however embarrassing it was.
You, Jimmy, 9-Volt, Kat, Ana, Dribble, Spitz, and everybody in the company have done a wonderful, and I mean wonderful job on all the microgames you've come up with. And yet I was too blind to see that - hell, even I don't know how that golden pot played on my desire to be rich! Blaze Bomber theorized a possibility that, being an enchanted toilet in reality, it hadn't been kept clean for so long. Arctic Bomber? She was like "Learn how to use your brain, dummy!" and crap. Heh, can't say I blame her for chewing me out like that. The icy Bomber-girl's got quite a lip.
Bill and Lance gave me a civilized lecture on why it's wrong to steal from people's villages, let alone Luxeville, but Aaron and Ami? They gave their two cents on Blaze's theory. Let's just put it this way: dirty, stinky toilets usually don't turn people power-crazy, and yet the Pot of Luxeville did! Guess that's a mystery for another day, huh?
One final note before I close my letter to you... I love you, Mona. I really, really do. You alone mean everything to me and the company. Same with your "little brother" and his mom, and his big buddy when it came right down to Nintendo-based microgames. Without them, our WarioWare installments probably wouldn't be as exciting for everybody in Diamond City or any other city on Earth for that matter. Sure I'm a jerk sometimes, but I'll be damned if I ever let anything seriously bad happen to you guys - especially you. All the wonderous treasures I've been gathering from my adventures? As good as it feels to have them in my personal vault, even they are nothing compared to you. I wouldn't ever wanna lose you because of some crazy jackass...and I'm not just talking Red Falcon or his Hate Bombers.
But having seen the way you matured as an intrepid adventurer lately, I guess it wouldn't hurt to let you tag along on more of my escapades. Besides, no other full-grown, gorgeous chick aside from you and Ami can kick ass with a bowling ball!
Let's-a you and me stamp out evil together, wherever it be hiding, and keep our microgame business afloat for years to come! Remember, just say "NO!" to Phazon!
Your adventurous idol and boyfriend,
WAAAAARIO!
PS: General Phoenix's a dodo-brain. You know, the main bad guy from Contra: Rogue Corps whose idiocy ended up causing a crap-ton of problems for everybody? He's all like "I can't waste my time testing the cannon, I just gotta FIRE it!", and then he deludedly thinks the Fiends running amok is the way of "peace and prosperity". Bah! What a freakin' idiot, amirite? Good thing we're not in an alternate Earth where the Damned City exists!
[End BGM]
[Overworld BGM: Outset Island (The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD)]
Having finished reading the letter, the red-garbed redhead at about 18 years old felt moved by the words therein, letting out happy tears as she put the note down on the table. Mona had just gotten off work in order to spend some quality time with her "little brother" 9-Volt at his house, all the while intent on showing off Pikmin 3 Deluxe to both him and Phoebe. While the two kids were currently occupied with Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Remastered Edition, the usually zippy and bubbly woman thought more about her relationship with Wario while polishing her DV8 Diva Pearl, a 14-lb. (6.35 kg.) bowling ball with a swirly mixture of pink and silver. Satisfied with her task of making it shine nicely, she let out a dreamy sigh.
"Oh, Wario..." she said to herself. "Why did the dirty toilet have to play with your heart by turning you bad? Or the evil tennis racket named Lucien, for that matter? Sure you tend to be misguided in more ways than one, but I know deep, deep, and deep down in my soul, you're one heck of a gem and a real sweetheart. I know now it wasn't your fault for leaving me out of the fun on the day the tennis tourney took place in the Kingdom of Bask. It was the evil spirit from within the cursed racket that manipulated both you and Waluigi, followed by brainwashing poor Luigi in front of Mario, Peach and Daisy."
"Wario really does care about you, doesn't he?" asked a brunette woman (roughly 30) in a long-sleeved red hoodie and green jeans beneath a yellow apron, and a pair of crimson slippers, whose voice Mona knew to be 5-Volt's. They had known each other for a long time since 9-Volt's early childhood, before Wario founded his namesake software company in Diamond City. If there was one particular being in town Mona trusted the most, aside from the Contra Force, to talk in as much detail as possible about Wario's misguidedness, it would be 5-Volt.
The orange-haired girl turned her attention away from the letter's contents. "Yeah. I've always known that, even if he is a bit of a jerk sometimes. But at least he's better than the likes of EA and Activision, so to speak. I don't think I've said this to you guys, but part of me actually wanted to rescue Wario the moment that golden pot turned him into Wario Deluxe. I just wasn't sure what to do, plus my Shot Put ball obviously can't go that high."
5-Volt nodded in agreement, washing her hands with soap and water after having tended to her garden out in the backyard. "We were lucky our new friend, Lulu, showed up to save the day! Which reminds me: I'm gonna host a multiplayer party with Splatoon 2, as soon as 9-Volt and Phoebe finish up a couple more dungeons online with Kat and Ana, in Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Remastered Edition. I've already contacted Wario, Aaron, Ami, Yumi and 18-Volt to see if they're available, and they said yes. Bill and Lance can't make it since they're playing billiards with Dribble and Spitz at Topaz Tavern. Blaze Bomber said he'll join later as soon as he and Penny are done repairing some arcade cabinets at Diamond Arcade World.
"As for Arctic Bomber, she's competing on Jimmy's team against Bowser, King K. Rool and Captain Syrup in Rocket League, so she's out too. Other than that, you're welcome to join us if you want."
Mona beamed, pulling out her Nintendo Switch whilst making sure its battery was fully charged before she came to the house. "Sure! I'd love to be a squid kid with you guys! By the way, were you able to clear the Octo Expansion?"
"I barely managed to unlock the Octoling as a playable character for 9-Volt, since we both share the same Switch in our house, but I can't for the life of me beat Inner Agent 3 in the rematch. I've been trying like 200 times and STILL couldn't get it right. If you ask me, it's just not worth getting that golden toothpick or whatever they call it."
"You and me both, 5-Volt." Mona shrugged her shoulders at the idea that the ultimate challenge itself had no checkpoints to aid the player, in between its five phases. "Ami had the same problem too, but she finally managed to win the extra final battle...in 150 tries, even with Yumi's help. Last I heard, she's helping Aaron, Bill, Lance, Blaze and Arctic, so as to ease their frustration. People all over the Internet weren't kidding when they described it as the 'Dark Souls' of Splatoon!"
"Geez laweez! Nintendo sure didn't screw around when they made the DLC, I'll give you that... And to think Battletoads on the NES was a pain in the rear. But trust me, it STILL is, especially with that Turbo Tunnel segment you have to go through early in the game. When I was around my son's age, I died over 100 times in the same area before I pretty much gave up and locked the game away, never to be touched again. Oooh, so frustrating! I almost wanted to march over to the Dark Queen and kick her butt super-duper hard - and I mean that literally - for putting me through all this torture in the first place! And even the idea of game-jumping wasn't possible then!"
The petite mother paused momentarily to let out a sigh. "At least Battletoads & Double Dragon: The Ultimate Team is a lot more forgiving with its jet bike segment in level 2, and I owe it all to you for opening me up to the game while you were still babysitting 9-Volt."
Mona did a fist-bump with 5-Volt. "It's the least I can do as his big sister. I don't care if we're not related; what matters is our spending quality time together like a family...and I'm eternally thankful for the wise decision you and your husband made in picking me when 9-Volt was only 3."
"You'll always be welcome into our house, Mona, no matter what happens." The brunette hugged Mona affectionately. "Red Falcon may have taken our loved ones during the Alien Wars - your parents, Aaron and Ami's, even my dear T-Bolt - but he'll never break our spirits. They'd want us to remain strong, never give in to despair no matter how hard it hits us...and that's all there is to it."
"Joe once said something like that to me when became my caretaker, the day after Bill, Lance, Pit and Phosphora defeated Red Falcon the first time. Him doing so in the first place was one of the reasons I wanted to help support whatever business he ran - ice cream store, café, pizza joint, you name it - in any way possible as I got older."
"I know, Mona...and thanks again for at least trying your best to help us rescue your beloved Wario from that golden toilet curse."
The redhead nodded slowly, reassured that she never failed in such an attempt at all, nor did any other WarioWare associate. "At least now I have a better idea on what to do, if something like that ever happened again. Whether it's cursed artifacts, or evil tennis rackets brainwashing my boyfriend and his brother into doing bad things, I'll be there to save them. Especially Wario. I'm gonna check in with him while you get our Inkling party ready."
THE END
(Ending Credits)
Wario (voiceover) - CHARLES MARTINET
Mona - STEPHANIE SHEH
5-Volt - CRISTINA VEE
[End BGM]
[End Credits]
While 5-Volt's husband was mentioned in one of her character cards via WarioWare Gold, the continuity in my stories is different from that of the official game series'. Thus, the name I gave him (T-Bolt) is also strictly AU material and is not to be considered canon to said franchise itself.