I think everyone could agree that people have those days where everything just goes to shit.

I thought I was doing good. I was off weed and beer, I wasn't doing anything anymore that was "bad," and I was finally opening up to all the shit I would never open up to.

Yet, there I was, sitting on the floor of my dorm while class was going on. Earlier, when I got on campus, I felt heavy, like a thousand pounds were resting on my shoulders. I couldn't focus. Tired, but I was restless too. I was practically following Amber to the dorms, but I didn't care. The moment I saw my door, I rushed to it and shut myself inside.

What the fuck is going on...? I wanna cry but why? Everything was going fine! What the fuck is wrong? I wanna lie down but I wanna run too... I wanna scream but...

I gripped at my hair, pacing in my room as the ringing grew louder and my vision blurring. I was shaking, all of my muscles quivered under my skin, my heart raced yet it felt so slow. My eyes welled up but nothing came out. My body burned with anger but I couldn't act on it. I was aware of it all.

But, I couldn't react. My insides were screaming to do something, anything, but I still paced, gripping at my hair and scratching at my skin for a reaction. Do something. Do something. Do something. DO FUCKING SOMETHING.

My breathing couldn't catch up with the feeling. I was suffering in the quietness; my ears blocking out everyone getting ready for school.

It lead me here. Sitting on the ground, my back against my bed, lifeless and do something still repeating in my head, a mix feeling of depression and anger storming inside of me. But there was nothing. Every nerve tingled for movement, but I didn't wanna move. Hot tears have finally fallen, but no emotion. I was here.

But it felt like I wasn't.

How long am I gonna sit here?

A memory flashed in front of me. It jolted through me, forcing me conscious. It was dark, loud, somehow familiar to me. I was in darkness again, bright, colorful lights flying through me, the sound of TV static in my ears. No... No, no, no, no, no... It wasn't static.

It was a spray paint can.

Voices started to talk at me, all around me. Mumbling. They were muffled, near and far and side to side, talking at me. "I say, let's wreck this shit."

Justin.

They started to become clear, yelling into my ears.

"Let's go to the next room!"

"What's going on here?!"

RACHEL CAN FUCK OFF FUCK YOU VORTEX SuCK iT AMbeR VORTEX SKANKS

Those words flashed into my vision, burning my eyes. They surrounded me as the sound grew louder. The voices were against me. The sprays were overpowering. I was in that night again. I felt the stuffy, hot rooms. The smell of weed filling my senses. I felt people's bodies when I ran into them.

"This is a special delivery from the Vortex—"

"Chloe! Chloe, listen to me. I'm here."

I tried to catch my breath. I shut my eyes as I felt my body ache. My head was pounding. My stomach was jolting.

"You're having a flashback." The voice penetrated the noises. "It feels real, but it's not happening. You're here, Chloe. Listen to my voice."

My vision was coming back. Blurry, but it was coming back.

"Breathe slowly, Chloe. It's not happening."

I followed their directions. Shaky breaths went in and out of my mouth, my vision returning and revealing the person in front of me.

"I'm going to touch you, okay? Is that... okay with you?"

I clenched my jaw and nodded. My breath was still shaking as I felt their fingertips touch my face. It was gentle and airy, but I could feel their warmth. I feel like I've felt this before... The colors in my room and the person in front of me was getting clearer.

As soon as they were getting clearer, I was drowsy again. I felt exhausted and sleepy. I closed my eyes, missing everything else they said, and drifted away again.

When I woke up again, my throat was dry and I felt like shit, it was a little darker than earlier. I think I passed out. I recognized my room and I was still sitting on the floor. I looked around, making sure everything was real. I took another deep breath as I accepted that I was in my room. I'm in my room for sure.

I turned to my right and my eyes widened at who was sitting there.

Amber.

She was leaning against my bedside table as she slept, her eyebrows furrowed in her sleep. I blinked and pinched myself a little, flinching at the slight pain from the pinch. Okay, this is really real. I wasn't sure what to do. I vaguely remembered what had happened. I did remember hearing someone talking to me.

I shifted in my spot, wondering what to do. I wasn't even mad she got into my room. I remember rushing in here trying to catch my breath again. I scratched the back of my neck as I looked away. I preferred to wait, rather than touch.

Just stay relaxed. Focus on anything else but her. She'll wake up on her own. I guess it's a good time to talk? But how the hell do I start this? Don't tell me I have to start this again. That was a lot of work.

"Hey..." I heard her, yawning after her greeting. "Are you feeling any better?"

I bit my tongue. I wasn't sure where I wanted to start. I didn't know how to answer. "How did you get in here?"

"Your door was unlocked." She replied, hearing her move, seeing her legs cross in the corner of my eye. "I was just... wondering where you were. I know I should leave." She was relaxed and there was no change in her voice. I was sure she wanted to keep me calm.

"What happened to me?" I furrowed my eyebrows, folding my legs to hug my knees. "How... I can't even remember what happened. I had a flashback?"

"Yeah. I saw how scared you looked and," she took a deep breath, "it was just a guess."

"I feel like shit." I coughed, clearing my throat. "How did you know what to do?" There was slight anger in my tone, hiding the sudden tightness I felt in my throat.

"I just had a feeling. After the party and seeing you on your first day back, I knew something wrong was going to happen." I saw her hands fidget on her lap. "I spent hours and hours at night looking up ways to help someone after traumatic experiences."

I gulped. It took a long time for this to happen... I guess everything finally sunk in. I had my irritable moments, but I didn't think about them too much. It was my new normal and my body was just getting all of the bad shit out. How fucking stupid of me to put them off.

She continued after taking another deep breath, "You probably think it was stupid of me to do this. I understand why you would. Researching, coming into your room, staying in here while you slept—Just wasting my time..."

The last part trailed off and her tone changed in a more sad yet annoyed way, as if she was quoting someone who said that.

"Well, you're still in here." I pointed out for her. "Obviously, I don't think you wasted any time."

Silence fell on us. I pressed my lips together, my heart thumping and my ringing was a lot lower than usual. It was comfortable, yet not.

"Hey—"

"I—"

I bit my lip to stop a nervous laugh. I wanted to scream at that; This was tense enough.

"I don't hate you." I finally got that one sentence out. "I stopped hating you weeks ago. I dunno if that means anything."

"No," I saw her jump in her spot, but relaxed again, "No, I'm happy to hear that. I'm glad you didn't care for my dad's "no talking" rule."

"Yeah, well, people don't follow the rules for very long."

I heard her chuckle. "You're right."

"... He'll definitely kill me if he catches us talking to each other." I felt nervous again. I shouldn't be afraid, but I tensed up at the thought of him threatening me with my jail time.

"And then I'll stop him. Just say it was me." She said it nonchalantly.

"Does he just let you do whatever you want?"

"No, I'm just… I just know what to say."

"Yeah... I've seen it before." I cleared my throat again, a tinge of bitterness in my voice. It was a small part of me, minuscule at this point, that hated that trait about her. I was so fucking unpredictable and it was fucking shitty. This is so fucking weird, but it feels nice. "Thanks for... helping me, I guess. Not just for this, um, for the water, the food, staying in your house. All that shit."

"Just... making up for everything. You don't have to say that."

I chewed my cheek. I didn't feel ready to bring up those situations anymore. Everything Amber said surprised me and I wasn't sure what to do about it or say back.

It gave me an idea. Was it stupid? Yeah, kinda, because she was the last person I ever thought I would ask. Since my backpack was nearby, I leaned over to it and dug through it, eventually finding the red box of cigarettes and the lighter. It was still intact, somehow not crushed from all my shit. Like instinct, my hands shook and flinched as I held them.

"I've been meaning to get rid of this shit." I placed it on the floor and slid it to her. "I know it's stupid, but I can't do it for some reason."

I saw her hand reach over and grab it, pulling it towards her. "Yeah, I'll be sure to get rid of it when I leave this room."

Another silence. She didn't get up. This is kinda weird again. But, why don't I want her to leave? I can't even look at her! I might as well keep it up somehow.

"So..." I tapped my fingers on the floor. My eyes were tracing my room from corner to corner. "Do you... always get up early?" That deserves a slap to the face.

She laughed, louder and lighter, genuine happiness in it, "Are you referring to what I think you're referring to?"

"It's just a question! You know, like... Do you?"

"Then, no, that was one of those random times I like to wake up. You just happened to show."

"I don't remember how that went down." That was a lie. I could still kinda picture it in my mind. Stupid brain can't forget seeing her in that goddamn towel...

"I'll believe you." She chuckled again. There was a hint of sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes, but I decided to let a smile grow on my face.

"You're funny, Chloe."

"And you're not so bad, Amber."

My smile wouldn't go away and I had a feeling she was smiling too.

"You stay here today, okay? I'll think of an excuse for you to my dad." She stood up, dusting off her skirt. "And I'm not taking "no" for an answer. Just rest and I'll see you tomorrow, okay, Chloe?"

I just nodded my head, keeping my eyes on the ground. I watched her legs pass and she left my room, gently closing the door.

So... that really happened...

I sat there for a moment before standing up again. My legs were shaky and I got lightheaded, needing to regain my balance again. When I felt stable again, I cautiously opened my door and looked out into the hall, watching Amber walking out towards the school again. Like at her house, I felt like I had to follow and see what she was gonna do. As she left through the door, I kept my distance to give her some time to get further.

I walked out of the building and watched her approach a trashcan, tossing the cigarettes and lighter away.

And she never walked back.

A/N: Review and shit.