A/N: I'm so sorry for being gone for so long! I was supposed to post when I had spring break... two months ago... but I didn't realize how exhausted I was until I had that break. So, I basically did nothing for that week. Then, school has been crazy hectic. I'm not necessarily proud of this chapter but I finally had the energy to do so.
Enjoy.
I think I was running on autopilot since that. I hated listening to Amber and hated how much she was helping me but, if I learned anything from being around her more, arguing with her won't do shit.
I dunno how many days passed since that, but when I woke up and had awareness again, it was almost like I forgot who I was. My memory was foggy and I could only recall some time with Max or Steph. I had no idea if I ever talked to Amber again since that. I don't even remember if I worked at all! All I knew for sure was I was awake again, as much as I didn't wanna be.
My body felt weak and heavy, yet I was ready to be broken. I was groggy and fucking gross as I got up from my bed, screamo music filling the air and blocking out any ringing or yelling schoolgirls outside in the hall. I scratched the back of my neck, swaying my head from side to side to crack and remove some tension. Fuck... I'm still in this damn room. Mayor Amber is gonna fucking kill me... Having no fucking choice, I got up from bed, hearing and feeling my knees crack, and got ready.
6:15 a.m. aka four fucking hours too early.
I wanted to scream about it, but everyone on this damn floor had to be asleep. So, I just stretched, arms up to the ceiling, only to let them fall down again, and jump right back into bed. I grabbed my phone and saw there were a few messages. They were all from Max. I blinked a few times after I let the words on the screen sink in.
They were all encouraging? We're here for you? You're loved? Life is strange but worth every second? I never replied to any of them. I didn't feel like replying to them right now! Were there things I said or did I do anything? Max never really did this before, so...
In fact, when I looked down at my clothes, I was still in my uniform, as if I walked into my room, kicked off my shoes, and then blacked out in bed. What the fuck... I shot up from bed and ran to Max's room, banging on the door. I mumbled "come on" under my breath over and over again until it opened. Before I let her answer, I pushed my way in and slammed the door behind me.
"Chloe—"
"Max, listen, I just got your tex— Kate?" My eyes shot back and forth between them. Max looked normal (as normal as Max could really be) but Kate was definitely wearing Max's shirt. I recognize the Jane shirt from a mile away. It kinda brought my full attention back, but I knew that I couldn't fixated on their gayness right now. She waved her hand, smiling tiredly as she combed her fingers through her hair.
I shook my head and grabbed Max's shoulders, tight enough to dig into her shirt. "Max, I got your texts. What happened to me?"
"Chloe, you're back..." She said in an almost-scared yet relieved tone. "You were unresponsive all week! You were slower, you didn't talk to us, you fell behind on homework, all you did was show and go."
Aka a fucking walking corpse from the sound of it... What the fuck happened to me... Did I have a late reaction again? Did I go into another episode? My body can't even fucking handle itself anymore...
"Shit..." I let my hands fall to my sides again, feeling tons of weight resting on me. "N-Now's not a good time, guys... You two do your little gay thing and I'll just head out. I need to figure this out..."
"Wait, Chloe—"
I left before I heard anymore. I was digging my own hole running like this, but I didn't fucking care. I needed to figure this out for myself first. I slammed my hand on the dorm shower door, letting anyone nearby or inside know that I was awake.
I froze in my spot. Standing in front of the closest sink, clutching her flannel shirt to her body, eyes red yet filled with... anger? She held that expression for a good minute before it softened. "Chloe...?"
"Amber..." I replied back, I nearly copied the same hurt tone she had.
As if she couldn't hold back anymore, she jumped to me, grabbing me into a tight hug. Her arms went around my neck and placed her head on my shoulder, feeling tears soaking through. Not knowing what to do, I let her hold onto me. From the looks of it, she needed more comfort than I did. Eventually, I patted her back, trying to be as comforting as I possibly could.
We stayed that way for what felt like forever. Even I was starting to like it and wanted to stay a little longer. But I hated that we were just standing in the shower room. She quieted down, so I decided to pull away, forcing myself to get a good look at her to figure out how she was feeling.
Other than the typical puffy, red eyes and flushed cheeks, she calmed down. We made eye contact and I felt a weird pang in the pit of my stomach. I cleared my throat and backed away. "I hope those tears weren't for me."
The corner of her mouth raised for a second. "Don't flatter yourself..."
Okay, thank god we were thinking the same thing. That lightened the mood a little bit...
"I dunno about you, but I'd rather not share this in Blackhell's shower room." I kept up with something more lighthearted; there was a little awkwardness in this situation.
"I'm happy to see you... see you awake now."
I was really fucking out of it... I cleared my throat. "What was I like?"
"Just... not you. Max even asked me if I knew and I didn't fucking know!"
I scoffed. We're still in this fucking room. I grabbed her hand and dragged her out, pulling her into my room and slamming the door. "I dunno what's fucking wrong with me! I get beaten nearly to death, I get thrown in jail, clean your house, deal with your dad, figure out what's going on in my head—I'm losing my shit!"
"Relax, Chloe!" She rested her hands on my cheeks, gently touching me. "I won't allow another flashback to happen. Breathe."
I nodded. I didn't wanna fight her off anymore; my body seemed to like this cheek touching thing for whatever fucking reason. "I just wanna yell and scream this out, Amber."
"I know. I'd let you, but we need to keep you relaxed now. I—We need you here." She had to emphasize "we," but I heard her say "I."
"It's fucking hard..." I let my eyes drop and stare at the ground, avoiding her eyes again. "I feel like my feelings just flip flop and it pisses me off!"
"I know, Chloe. You're still adjusting to all of that shit. I doubt you've fully digested all of this yet..."
"That's—" I was pissed but I held my tongue instead. I guess I proved her point just then...
"You're healing, that's all that matters. Shit like this isn't a race."
I nodded again. It was a hard pill to swallow, knowing that this was my reality now. I looked up again and she was looking down, copying me in avoiding more contact than we were already having. As I continued to watch her, her hands started to slide down. I gulped as my eyes decided to go down and land on her neck. I blinked and let my eyes adjust.
Is... Is that a bruise? It was a little dark and I was still coming back, but there was a darker spots on her neck she was trying to cover with her hair. They weren't like hickeys, though. I could see two and they were lined up as if...
Was she getting choked?
"My dumb ass brain doesn't like listening to you..." I mumbled, knowing that had to come out now rather than later. I tried to chuckle to lighten the mood. "I wanna like you, I swear."
"Are you suggesting that you don't like me still?" I could tell she was feeling a little playful. I looked down and let her hands linger at my fingers, loosing holding them.
"I..." I forced a small laugh, the corner of my mouth couldn't help lifting up. "I just said you weren't so bad. Take that however you want." I had to ignore what was on her neck; This wasn't a good time anymore. I had to let this shit pass over.
"Then I'm taking that as "you like me now."
"Whatever, Amber."
We shared a laugh. I'm enjoying her company, that's for sure...
"Wait, shit, what about that stupid community service? I haven't been there, right?" I clenched my jaw and gulped dryly. I looked up for a second and made quick eye contact before looking to the side.
"I handled it, Chloe." She answered quickly. A little too quickly. She rushed through it like it was one word.
I have to look. Come on, Chloe, you have to know what she's feeling.
I sucked in air and turned to her, making sure I was looking into her eyes, making sure she couldn't look away. I shocked her, blinking fast at what I did. Everything became silent then. I could see she was scared. I was relieved it wasn't because of me but, at the same time, I couldn't think of anything that could make her scared. I always thought she was fearless. The fear went away in a second and a smile grew instead.
"You're looking at me." There was genuine, pure happiness.
"Well, yeah! I wanna know how you handled it." I had a little smirk on my face as I decided to step back, walking away to my bed. Did I like that? I think so...
"Just another lie, nothing new." She sounded normal then. "I'm figuring out how to get you out of it completely."
"What?" I felt anger build up again, but I bit my tongue instead. I sat on my bed again. "Get me out—"
"I have my connections, Chloe." She sat in the space next to me. "I've had a couple people come in and do some of the work for you. Plus, my parents have been busy with all that political bullshit. It makes my job easier."
"Who?"
She was honest, so she shouldn't mind telling me. It couldn't be those Vortex meatheads, that's for fucking sure.
She paused for a second, her mouth twitching like she was holding back a smile. She sighed. "Your friends, Chloe."
"Wait—" I was taken aback, awkwardly laughing. "You mean like—"
"Yeah. Max, Steph, even Mikey and Dana pitched in to help. And I may have gotten a thing or two done."
I rolled my eyes. Not out of annoyance, but it was just... not shocking that she would do that. I just sighed and smiled instead. "Thanks, I guess, Amber."
"I just want you to like me." There was a cute smile on her lips as she said that. It was obvious she meant it jokingly.
Wait... Did I just call her cute?
"So, you guys have been to Amber's house?" It was lunchtime, sitting with Max, Steph, and Mikey as they were eating their lunches on the same table we always sit on. I wasn't eating, since my body was feeling a little off.
"Yeah, I couldn't believe how big it was!" Max perked up as she swallowed her drink. "Man, you get to be there every day, I was a little jealous before I remembered you were there because of the law." Her sentence trailed off, shutting herself up with shoving her sandwich into her mouth.
"We've wanted to help you since day one." Mikey nudged his elbow into my arm. "We don't like how and why Rachel needed our help but... we're glad we can offer the help."
"And we're happy that you're closer to Rachel now!" Steph said excitedly, earning nods from Max and Mikey.
"I guess." I shrugged my shoulders.
"You can't lie to us anymore. Or, act like it isn't what it is, at least. We have done everything we can to learn about how to help you if you ever have another attack. And we'll even go with you to Rachel's if you need it."
I snickered, my shoulders bouncing as I lightly push her. "I'll be fine."
There was a small pause in our conversation as they ate. I took a glance at Max and let a smirk lift on my face. "But, I did see Max and Kate earlier in Max's room."
I thought they would know already, but Steph's and Mikey's eyes widened and Max nearly choked on her food.
"Whoa, what!" Steph was laughing hard. I knew well that her gay ass was happy to hear about it. "You finally asked her to be your girlfriend?!"
"Please lower your voi—"
"No! I'm letting the whole world know that you really took my advice and finally asked her!"
"Uh, she did more than take your advice." I wanted to tease her just a little further. It was funny as fuck and I've had an enough talking about me. "I ran in there and Kate was wearing Max's shirt."
"You guys move fast!" Steph was fucking ecstatic about this, leaning over the table to Max. I guess Max and Kate kept them dating a secret.
Max's cheeks were red, but she seemed a little glad that I said it for her. "You were right, Steph."
"You were allowed to be afraid, though." Steph reached her hand to hold Max's wrist. "Even though she was showing signs of having a big crush on you, she still is Christian."
"I know, Steph, but... thank you." Max nodded and then sighed defeatedly. "I owe you breakfast at Two Whales now."
"You bet on this?" I raised my eyebrow. I was actually kinda impressed. Betting was usually my thing.
"I was channeling you, I think." Steph laughed as she untwisted her water bottle. "Plus, I haven't had Two Whales in a while."
"Could that bet extend to me? I want some Two Whales too." I leaned in with a smile on my face, knowing damn well she'll say yes.
"... Okay." She nodded, but she looked at her bag. I think she was worrying for her wallet, but I knew she couldn't say no to me.
"You want me to do what?"
Amber was standing with her arms folded, in the guest room I slept in, letting the sentence "just sleep tonight" sink into my head. I was confused as hell and, even though I didn't wanna work, I was ready to.
"Just sleep. I want you rested and focus on getting better. You'll feel better, I swear by it."
"I mean, I know that, but what if your dad shows up—"
"Do you keep forgetting who you're talking to?" She gave me a playful smile, sly and amused.
"... No." I shook my head and approached the bed, ruining the perfectly flat blanket by falling into it. "Thanks... I guess."
"Just sleep, okay?" She placed her fingers on my chin and lifted my head to look at her, smiling at me.
She's getting pretty bold... "Yeah... I'll try." I gulped, trying not to get hypnotized.
Though, from my angle, I could see the bruises on her neck. There were more. It had to be a hand... It even looks like a whole bruise is wrapping around her neck. She's hiding something and I'm curious but... how fucked up would it be to ask? It's probably just a kink thing or something...
She kept her smile and nodded, dropping her hand and leaving the room, closing the door behind her.
I couldn't help myself. I stood up and followed her out, making sure I stay quiet as I left. I saw flip her hair back again and revealed the same bruises, trying to become purple. She reached into her pocket for her phone as she walked. As she turned into the kitchen, I was at the end and I pressed my back to the wall.
"What do you want, Victoria?"
She became fucking pissed in a second; I was shocked at how quick it happened.
"Victoria, listen to me, I said I was done! I'm fucking over it! I'm tired enough and I work as hard as I can every-fucking-day!"
My heart felt ready to burst at this conversation. Victoria already gave off sadistic vibes... Fucking bitch...
"Yeah, Victoria, I do like her! Just—" She grunted in annoyance. "Leave me the fuck alone!" She cried in anger.
I flinched as I watched something fly full-speed into the wall, a loud bang and shattering glass followed. I kept myself relaxed, letting my eyes adjust at the fact that she just broke her phone. It was broken beyond repair and, knowing she'll pick it up, I had to leave. I rushed as fast as I could, trying to take fast and far steps. Shit, something is going on around here! Victoria is the fucking devil from what I hear now.
"Chloe!" I heard her voice behind me. Damn it...
"I wasn't doing anything, okay?" I raised my hands defensively as I walked back to her. I was nervous as I did. This could be it for me... Maybe I broke her trust. Now I'm the shitty one. And now I'm actually worried about what she thought of me, fucking great—
"I didn't say you did anything." Her answer didn't sound genuine; I felt like she was pretending. We met halfway. "Did you... hear anything?" There was almost a pleading look in her eyes.
Just a little lie couldn't hurt. "No... I heard something crash and was gonna check but... I just left. Felt like a personal thing."
It was quiet again. I waited and waited, wondering what she was gonna say next. My hands were starting to become clammy and my mouth was becoming dry.
Instead of calling me out or becoming angry again, she smiled, even giggled a little.
"What?"
"You're looking at me."
I blinked. What did that mean? I blinked more, trying to piece together her sentence. I spent a whole minute wondering what in the actual fuck she was talking about. She was beginning to laugh under her breath, biting her lip to stop them (it wasn't fucking working.)
You're looking at me.
I realized.
I made eye contact with her and never broke it.
A/N: Review and shit.