A/N: Information heavy chapter today.
Enjoy.

I had to take a fucking breather after that bomb.

It made me sick to my stomach; I wanted to vomit all of my organs after that bullshit. I told Steph and Mikey about it and they couldn't believe it either. It messed with my head for a lot longer than it should, but how in the fuck do you move on to the next step after hearing that, not just one but, two of my friends were dead?

Amber was still missing.

I didn't have a bad feeling, but those two things and then her being missing, I'd be a liar if I said I didn't think the worst. She just had to be at home. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing? That big house? All to herself? Sounded like a dream if she wasn't going through so much shit…

But this wasn't the fucking time to sit around.

"Hey." I grabbed Max's, Kate's, Steph's, and Mikey's attention, watching their heads turn to me. It was after school and I was with them in the courtyard under a big tree as they were working through their campaign. I didn't feel like playing anymore, so they killed my character off and went on with their adventure.

"I'm gonna head to Amber Manor today… do you guys wanna come with?"

They all shared a look with each other, wordlessly deliberating. I tapped my fingers on the table, waiting for them.

"It should be just you, Chloe," Steph said, the others nodding in agreement. "She trusts you the most and I think she'll be happy to see you by yourself."

"Right. I hope she'll tell me something. Anything! Dana always told me there were things Amber had to tell me about herself because they were 'too personal.'" I sighed, scratching the back of my head. "I don't want to force it out of her…"

"She should know that this is a vital time for honesty. I'm sure she'll tell you."

I wanna believe she trusts me a lot. I hope Steph's right.

What am I so nervous for?

I was able to get the late bus, only me, an old-looking nurse, and what could be a college guy. I stared out the window as the music from my iPod blared into my ears. Her house should've been the first place I looked! Maybe she already knew. Like, Chase fucking called or whatever and told her without warning. Fuck… she was the fucking worst.

After leaving the bus, I walked all the way over, not caring how badly my feet hurt from all that walking. It sounds cheesy, but… she was worth the trip.

I walked through the grass and went up to her door, ringing it a few times. I would've rung it over and over until I annoyed her, but I wouldn't want to be annoyed at this damn hour if I was in her shoes.

It took a while, maybe fifteen minutes, before I heard the door start unlocking.

Amber was on the other side, wearing baggy clothes with dark circles and bag under her eyes. They widened when we made eye contact.

"Hey Amber," I took my earphones out, "I was looking all over for you and figured you were here after all."

She chuckled, leaning on her door, "Well, you found me. Come in."

If I wasn't nervous before, now I could throw up everything in my stomach about now. I knew this house and all of its rooms, but I still followed her. It would've been awkward as shit if I walked next to her in this silence.

Her room had a lot of space. Not to make a double meaning, but her room was big as hell and she had a lot of space-themed stuff in it. I shouldn't be shocked that she had her starry night projector on, covering her room in blue stars, but I was anyway. It was pretty.

"I'm guessing you heard about Dana…?" I regretted it as soon as I said it. Shit… that was too direct.

"Yup…" Amber got into her bed. "Want to lie down with me?"

"Uh… Sure, I guess." I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't have anything to lose and Amber looked like she needed someone close.

As I got in, I left enough space for another person to fit in between us.

"She sent a picture…" Amber sniffled, keeping her voice steady.

What the fuck. I already knew Chase was a cruel bitch, but what in the fuck!

"I can't open my phone right now. The moment I open it, it'll be there."

"You just secluded yourself here?"

"I'm used to dealing with things alone; It was just a habit." Amber turned on her side towards me. "Don't worry, though. I'm happy you're here."

I sighed, staring up at the ceiling, "I hate to ask you anything about you and serious shit right now, but—"

"It's fine, Chloe."

I was taken aback by that response. Amber looked like she hadn't slept in years and I couldn't imagine how she felt.

"Everything I'll say will help you in this shitshow. Fuck, I think it could solve everything…"

I moved a little closer towards her and I saw the distant, sad look in her eyes. There was a little smile after a second. Amber always showed she appreciated how much I was allowing her to be close to me. That time I hated her with all of my being… it felt so fake now.

"I asked Dana about you before. She said something about you being down for a while. To ask you about it instead."

Amber sighed, her smile falling and clearing her throat as quietly as she could, "My life's always been shit." She chuckled, full of pity. "I knew that night that you heard my dad hit me. When he yelled at me. I knew you saw the bruises he left on me from hitting or choking me."

I reached over and held her hand. It helped me in the hospital. I think she'll like it too.

She smiled for a second before she continued, "That woman isn't my real mom. I found out when I was, maybe… ten?... when I found one of the letters my real mom sent to me. I decided to write back with my ten-year-old writing and I actually went out alone to see her. I secretly met with her for months. I felt so much closer to her than my dad and his wife." She squeezed my hand. "And then he found out. My dad yelled and beat me until I told him the truth…" She forced a laugh, "My mom was good at sneaking around, so she was lucky that my dad didn't do anything to her. I still went to see her anyway. She told me everything. My dad was abusive to her too. When she fell pregnant with me, he was suddenly nice. Everything was fine until I was born. I wasn't even a week old that he snuck drugs into her possession, had her arrested and put a restraining order."

She squeezed my hand tighter. I could tell, even in near darkness, she was ready to cry. "Those letters were sent while she was in jail for something she didn't do. She always asked how I was doing, how she missed me… All she wanted to be was my mom, but my dad hated her so much." She shuffled closer and decided to hug my arm instead, pressing her cheek on my shoulder. She needed it more than anything. "My dad decided to abuse me too. On top of sneaking out, I started to look a lot like my mom, and I guess I reminded him so much of her that he can't help it. He used to treat me like his princess and always wanted me happy… I had my moments that I could fight back and he'd listen, but it made it so much worse. I took so many beatings just to get a little of my way. He acted a little nicer in front of you those times, so he didn't look bad. Or, as bad."

"That was nicer?"

I didn't mean to sound so weirded out, but he was annoying enough.

"Yeah… It was. And then, going into high school, I met Victoria and Dana and that entire club… You know, men always liked me, and Victoria wanted to take—" She took a deep breath, "take advantage of it. I fucked so many dealers for drugs…"

"I'm done using my body to get you shit…" She used herself to get what they wanted.

"I was okay with it. I was sick of the abuse at home, I got to feel good for half an hour, and I earned praise from the club… How could I refuse?"

I felt my shirt was becoming wet and she was sniffling, shivering and trying not to cry. I turned to her, using my thumbs to dry her tears. She looks so… broken.

"I had to start taking drugs myself to get through another… and another… and another… I don't remember a lot of them. All I wanted was those drugs and then those good words from Victoria. Dana was the one that finally called it out and stuck by me. She helped me and let me talk with her about all of this. She knew everything that was happening to me. She knew I was taking so much just for a small amount of approval. It kept going, just a little less…"

I stayed silent as she moved closer. I couldn't help it; I hugged her tight. She felt so small and fragile, trembling in my arms like she had somehow become that terrified little kid that just wanted love again.

"I hated how you got stuck here with me, but it genuinely made me feel better… I tried and tried to get you to hate me less. I felt better when you were here, when we started talking more, and being able to be closer to you… I felt better again."

"That night I was able to stop it, stop being their little drug girl… I felt free. Like I was able to escape my cage and finally rest better without worrying about them asking me again."

It went silent. Not like I cared. I preferred it after all of that information I had to sink in.

"To see that photo… God, I don't know what to think. What to feel. How to recover." Amber dried her face with her sleeves. "She just… torments me because she likes it… She saw a pretty face and thought, 'Let's destroy it'." She tiredly chuckled, airy and blue, "She knows now that I was already broken to begin with."

I could tell Amber was exhausted. Of course, I wanted to hear more, but seeing her like this, putting up with her dad's abuse, Chase and the club's abuse, and now her parents abandoning her and losing her closest friend… all she needed was rest.

I feel like shit for hating her in the first place. Fuck, Chloe! She was going through enough! If I had known sooner… That club really made me believe she had all the power and charm. That she got everything she ever wanted. She didn't have anything… She never did.

"I've heard enough." I spoke quietly, hoping it'll ease her to sleep.

"I'm not done yet—"

"I can tell you're tired. Just sleep. You deserve all the rest in the world."

Amber giggled lowly, leaning more genuine and lifted, "You must really like me."

I just chuckled in response. Of course, she had to remind me of her hospital visit.

"This is corny as shit, but… I don't hate you, Amber." I hugged her closer, letting her rest into my body and become comfortable. "Not one bit."

A/N: Review and shit.