Obi-Wan hates the Sith.

He would deny it if you ever asked him, of course.

He would say that Jedi do not hate, that while he had grieved his master's passing, he had moved on. He had not allowed anger to draw him to Fall while battling the Sith after all. That he believes the Council should prioritize the hunt to find the remaining Sith—always there being two—but not due to any lingering grudge, simply as duty to the galaxy as Jedi.

Most days he even believes it.

The Jedi way is to use lethal means only as a last resort, and he agrees with that. But the Sith are a plague to this galaxy and to any continued peace. Before the Jedi had stamped them out, they had once been plunging the galaxy into war for centuries. Their reemergence is the greatest threat to the Republic. They must be destroyed.

When he wakes up to find himself in an unfamiliar room with a locked entrance, he is not happy.

A Sith turning out to be his captor does not make him feel any better.

The Sith says his name is Darth Vader. His Force presence is Dark, a cold ball of hate, unnerving. Tall, dark, mysterious, faceless, clearly using a vocoder, when he says Obi-Wan is at his mercy, Obi-Wan has to hide how he actually feels genuinely intimidated.

Darth Vader's speeches about power, about how he hates the Jedi, about how the Sith will take over and overthrow the Jedi, are exactly what one would expect from a Sith.

Darth Vader is exactly what one would expect from the Sith.

Selfish, arrogant, violent, uncaring for others, power-hungry, a destructive monster who revels in attacking and destroying good people.

Obi-Wan feels nothing but disdain for this worthless criminal scum. No different from the Sith he'd fought and killed on Naboo before.

Obi-Wan is more certain than ever that the Sith are a plague that must be crushed.

Obi-Wan is a fool. Worse yet, a bully.

All this time he'd spent despising Vader, thinking he was no different from the Sith he'd fought on Naboo, all this time he'd enjoyed pushing Vader to frustration and agitating him into losing his temper then sneering at such lack of control—

He couldn't have been more wrong.

Vader is a child.

Only fifteen standard, less than half his own age.

A child. He'd been mocking a child.

He'd told Vader he was a monster. He had called a child a monster, to his face.

When Vader had insisted he wasn't a monster (upset, desperate), Obi-Wan had called him a liar deluding himself. Vader had stormed out and at the time Obi-Wan was pleased to have upset Vader, but now the whole experience is eating away at him.

He'd said so many other things, horrible, cruel things...

All those insults, he'd thought Vader had deserved it for being just like the Sith who murdered his master—he'd been goading and taunting a child.

A child who is currently no older than Anakin (oh, Anakin, another child he'd failed) would be now, if only the poor boy were still alive, rather than dead and gone.

Vader had earlier proudly told him he'd been apprenticed to his Sith Master for six years. Obi-Wan had thought nothing of the statement at the time.

Obi-Wan feels sick thinking about it now.

All this time he'd been assuming Vader had selfishly joined the Sith cause as an arrogant angry adult, vengeful and greedy for power. But instead he, he couldn't have been any older at the start than Anakin was when he disappeared for dead—

Obi-Wan still doesn't know how exactly Vader and his Sith Master came together. But he does know that nine-year-olds don't just choose the Dark Side, the Sith. He also knows that a little boy couldn't have been any match for a seasoned Sith Lord.

Vader wouldn't've stood a chance.

Obi-Wan, remembering how he'd mocked Vader for choosing the Sith, asking if he'd failed the standards of the Jedi, feels worse than ever.

Obi-Wan now thinks of his capture in two parts: Before, and After.

Before Vader had fallen asleep in his lap, lulled into unconsciousness after Obi-Wan finished telling several creche stories (and oh, how the baffling demand for narration of children's stories now makes an aching kind of sense, learning Vader had been merely 9 when his Sith Master had found him).

Before Obi-Wan had taken that as an opportunity to remove Vader's mask, to find out what the Sith really looked like (looking back, Obi-Wan is deeply relieved he somehow hadn't thought to try something more injurious, harm-inducing).

Before he'd removed the mask only to see that young, young face (so sweetly cherubic in appearance while asleep).

Before he accidentally shattered the mask, stunned by what he was seeing, and startling Vader awake.

After Vader, indignant by being called a child, had proudly announced he was fifteen standard "which makes me just as grownup as you are" (and wasn't that a childish sentiment), and Obi-Wan just knew that he wouldn't, couldn't, kill this Sith after all. Because Sith or not, Vader was still a child. And he simply refused to kill a child. Ever.

After Obi-Wan had started asking Vader what his training has been like, and found every new answer to be both saddening and horrifying, feelings only worsened by seeing how Vader considered all of it normal (yes, even being punished simply for forgetting things like to kneel or use Sith names).

After Obi-Wan had had the thought that this child Sith, so lost and tormented by their cruel Sith master, needed help, then realized the only person who could provide that help was Obi-Wan himself.

After Obi-Wan went and destroyed all of his escape plans, because there was no way in all the nine Corellian hells he was leaving now, not when there was a child in pain needing help, needing someone to help them (especially not when he'd added to that pain, Obi-Wan thought with heavy guilt).

Now he's apologized to Vader, for his abhorrent behavior Before, and oh how it broke his heart seeing Vader's reaction of confusion and suspicion, so clearly unused to anyone apologizing to him, to admitting to any wrongdoing.

Now he's trying to genuinely get to know Vader better, to try to build an actual connection with the child (cursing himself for his earlier foolishness of simply making arrogant assumptions and not looking any further).

Now in the After, he's trying to be kinder, gentler, more careful, more sensitive, to make up for how he'd acted earlier. Trying to convince Vader he is trustworthy.

...It's been an uphill battle. Which he has only himself to thank for, what with all the time he'd spent Before antagonizing, agitating, finding and targeting Vader's sensitive spots. (How ashamed and sickened he feels thinking of how smugly satisfied he'd been at the time.)

He knew from the start this was going to be a longshot. There was a good chance this would all end in Obi-Wan's own death, either at the hand of Vader or of his Master's. Plus, Obi-Wan had been worried he'd lost his chance to reach Vader, screwed it up with his cruelty Before.

But he knew he had to try (even if there was no try). It was his duty as a Jedi, as a person, to help the victimized, and Vader, a child being abused by his Sith master, definitely counted as a victim (on top of which, he owed it to the child to make up for his past viciousness).

Despite bafflement and suspicion, though, it appears Vader likes this softer attitude begun After.

While continuing aggression and trying intimidation, Vader now also makes clumsy attempts to seek out this desired behavior from Obi-Wan. Attempts which are not as subtle as Vader seems to think. (Not that Obi-Wan is going to say that; he finds the clumsiness strangely endearing but Vader will likely take Obi-Wan stating that as a jab or mockery.)

In Obi-Wan's book, that counts as progress.

It's a relief to see the child responding in any positive way at all. A sign that maybe this is working, that his efforts might be paying off.

Maybe he can do this.

Obi-Wan has been staring at Vader for a while, wondering how in the galaxy could someone look so... innocent while describing personally committing a serious violent crime. Unbelievably, it isn't an act either; Vader appears guilelessly sincere. And then, as the child cheerfully recounts how he'd held someone at lightsaber point and threatened lives, it hits Obi-Wan.

The reason Vader looks so innocent is he doesn't know that he did anything wrong.

The whole mess started when yesterday Obi-Wan thoughtlessly complained, about Vader only giving him soap and water for personal grooming, not even shampoo. In Obi-Wan's defense, Vader had been making fun of his hair. He had to defend himself. Yes, his hair is atrocious now, but only because of his limited tools in his new living situation. Vader wouldn't even let him use a razor, insisting that a razor counted as a weapon. Obi-Wan knows Jedi aren't to place too much value on physical appearances (luminous beings, not crude matter), and he agrees in principle, but honestly, at this point his beard looks fit to house a family of birds!

Still. Vader, taking the comment to heart, decided he needed to procure Obi-Wan a "suitable gift." And evidently also decided an acceptable way to do so was to show up at a wellness & health factory and threaten the workers there with weapons into giving up a month's worth of product for anything even tangentially related to hair-care.

Yes, Vader has done all this for him. And Obi-Wan isn't sure how to respond to that.

On one hand, Obi-Wan really doesn't want to encourage committing armed robbery. On the other hand, this is clearly proof that his plan to connect with Vader is working—the kid is trying to reach back, in a clumsy attempt to please Obi-Wan.

Vader had even said to Obi-Wan that this was a gift from the manufacturers as well. Clearly, in Vader's mind, all he's done is to be nice to Obi-Wan. Vader has good intentions here. In a way, it's almost... sweet. Obi-Wan doesn't want to hurt the child Sith's feelings by rejecting the gift.

Obi-Wan settles for awkwardly telling Vader, "Well I'm certainly very glad you didn't kill those people."

(Which isn't a lie, he actually is bizarrely grateful. He doesn't know how he would handle the guilt if Vader had decided to kill for Obi-Wan's sake. All those deaths would be on his conscience, because of a careless complaint he had made...)

Vader nods eagerly, then says how it was just so nice of those people to be so generous, that he decided he wanted to be nice back, and so let them go "without any harm done."

So Vader also does not understand that threatening people with weapons counts as harm. Obi-Wan suppresses a wince.

"I wasn't sure what to get you so I told them to just give me everything," then, added shyly, "...Do you like it?" Vader suddenly looks bashful.

Carefully, Obi-Wan says, "Your choice was... very thoughtful."

Vader beams—actually beams. And maybe it is just his imagination, wishful thinking, but for a moment he can swear Vader's Force presence feels just a little bit less Dark. Like light peeking out through a storm, perhaps. Or a candle being lit in a cave.

Either way, looking at that excited young face, Obi-Wan is more sure than ever that whatever twisted training his Sith Master has put Vader through, there is a good kid underneath it all.

"The Jedi are scum, my Master is right to want to bring them down!"

Obi-Wan sighs. He'd thought they were making progress, ever since, a while back—well before Vader had attempted his gift-giving—that they'd had that conversation about... Anakin.

Vader had challengingly accused him of abandoning the boy Qui-Gon found. They'd ended up having a heated exchange in which he'd told (okay, maybe yelled) about his pathetic efforts to find the missing boy, and then admitted he'd failed Anakin, but that it was for his lack of skill, not because he wanted to discard and—

Somehow that was a turning point. Since then things have improved greatly. As misguided as it was, Obi-Wan knows that the gift-giving was a step in the right direction. And it wouldn't have happened without that conversation.

But apparently, there is another roadblock he is only just now stumbling upon: Vader may be growing to like him specifically, but the child still despises the Jedi overall. Viewing Obi-Wan as an exception rather than the rule, he still truly believes that the Jedi are only a cause for suffering, and clings firmly to agreeing with his Sith Master's plans to destroy the Jedi. Obi-Wan is not sure how to get past this.

He has to try anyway. "I admit that the Jedi Order is not perfect," Obi-Wan says carefully. "But they do have the galaxy's best interest at heart. The Order tries its best to serve the galaxy faithfully and make it a better place."

"Liar!" Vader shouts. "That's the biggest lie I ever heard! The Jedi are self-serving and corrupt! I hate them! They don't serve the galaxy, they serve those with the most money and power! Where do you think they get the credits to afford their shiny palace?!"

Well, clearly Vader is misinformed. Obi-Wan doesn't blame him, surely it's his Sith Master's fault, but he has to correct him. "We don't live in a palace, we live in a temple. Additionally, the temple was built millennia ago, when Coruscant wasn't nearly as crowded and thus land and real estate wasn't as expensive."

But the boy is only raising his voice now, building up steam. "They don't care about making the galaxy a better place, they only care about themselves! They value their own purposes and interest above the actual lives of sentients!"

That rankles, reminds him too much of people who accuse Jedi of not doing enough. But there's only so much they can do; they're still mortal. And the simple fact is, the Jedi don't have enough numbers to be everywhere they're needed. Ugly as it is, they have to prioritize requests and calls for help. But you wouldn't know it from the criticism on the holonet that manages to find fault no matter what they do. No, he can't go down that train of thought, not if he wants to persuade the child. He needs to be educated, not scolded. Obi-Wan draws on the Force to let those feelings go and maintain his calm.

"That is not true. We serve for the sake of justice and keeping the peace. Jedi are sent across the galaxy for missions involving diplomacy and mediating, ending disputes, as well as saving people's lives."

"Saving people's lives? NO, no, what the Jedi do is, they let helpless innocents die completely preventable deaths because they value their own agenda and so-called principles, above the actual lives of sentients! Innocents like my MOM, Shmi Skywalker!"

There's a gasp in the background. Obi-Wan realizes belatedly that he's the source.

But...but it can't be. It simply can't. Anakin is dead, dead and gone.

Obi-Wan knows better than most how painful that had been to accept. He'd searched months after everyone else had given up, desperate to find the poor child who he had a responsibility to, who he had an obligation to. Desperate for everyone else to be wrong, desperate to be able to find the child miraculously alive despite the length of disappearance. Yet even he'd eventually been pushed to face that, with no leads, no evidence, no proof... in accordance with the law, with how much time had passed, Anakin was to be declared dead. The status was updated, and Obi-Wan had had to stop living in denial, and come to terms with the facts.

The whole ordeal had been agonizing enough to live through once. He doesn't think he could handle false hope, doesn't think he could live through it twice.

Except that he would be the right age. (Vader is 15. If Anakin was alive today, he would be 15.)

And Vader said he's been a Sith Apprentice for six years. That lines up with the timeframe when Anakin disappeared. (Hadn't he already noticed that Vader became a Sith Apprentice at nearly the same time and age that Anakin had disappeared?)

This would also explain why Vader sounded so personally angry when accusing Obi-Wan of abandoning the child Qui-Gon brought to the Jedi. (Because it was personal for him.)

It would make sense that after losing his Apprentice, Darth Sidious would seek to find a replacement. Obi-Wan has already realized it's likely that the Sith Master selected Vader specifically because Sidiouswanted a child for an apprentice—a child being so much more malleable, more vulnerable and more easily manipulated, than an adult. The issue of how Vader ended up with Sidious in the first place has been the missing piece of the puzzle that Obi-Wan's been unable to fill. But if the answer is that Sidious kidnapped him...

Nobody was able to find Anakin or any trace of him, that is true. But that would be explained away if he'd been snatched by a Sith Lord—a Sith Master even. (After much deliberation, the Council had admitted that the Sith Obi-Wan fought and killed on Naboo must have been the Apprentice—meaning the Master was still out there.)

For the past six years, the Sith Master has eluded the Jedi Order, and before that they weren't even aware of his existence. Surely covering up the tracks of the kidnapping of a young boy wouldn't be too difficult for someone like that, especially with whatever horrible Sith magic he has to assist him.

"...Anakin?"

"Don't, don't call me that."

And Obi-Wan's heart sinks. But before it can set in, Vader shakily continues, "you can't call me that, not anymore, Master said my Sith name is Vader, and, and that now that I'm his Apprentice, that means it's MY name now, not Anakin, not anymore—"

But Vader—no, Anakin—sounds so young and uncertain. Like he's simply parroting what Sidious has told him, but doesn't even understand himself.

And Obi-Wan should probably be more upset about that, that Sidious has trained him to think like that, but—Anakin isalive. All this time, he's been despising himself for failing Qui-Gon, for failing Anakin, but Anakin hadn't died, he'd lived, in fact has been right in front of Obi-Wan. Force, Vader, the child Sith he was initially cruel to before being proven wrong, has since been trying to connect with, and in the process has somehow grown to love, is Anakin. All this time Anakin has been going through Force-knows-what horrors and abuse from his cruel Sith Master. And yet, without even knowing it was him, Obi-Wan has been able to connect with Anakin after all.

...Maybe he hasn't completely failed Anakin.

"Anakin," he starts, but his voice chokes up. Get it together, Kenobi!

"I said don't call me that!" The boy looks angry, but Obi-Wan knows Vader—Anakin well enough to see the other emotions in his face, his poorly hidden confusion, fear, vulnerability. Sidious has trained him to stop using his real name, even punished him for doing so. Obi-Wan feels sick at the thought of what Sidious must have thought was a good deterrent to make the lesson stick. He has to be careful about this.

Very gently, Obi-Wan says, "I apologize, I was merely calling you the name your mother gave you."

Tremblingly, the child says, "That—that doesn't matter anymore. Not now that she's—Mom's dead. She's dead and I'm never going to see her again. And it's ALL THE JEDI'S FAULT! The Jedi let her die. The attack on Mos Espa—they KNEW, and they did nothing—I HATE THEM! The Jedi need to end—" His eyes are alight with rage, and as he yells, his Force presence grows Darker, but Obi-Wan can hardly focus on any of that when his mind is consumed with one thing and one thing only.

Anakin believes his mother is dead.

Anakin hates the Jedi because he believes they are responsible for his mother's death.

Obi-Wan knows that Shmi survived the Mos Espa bombing. Knows it from personal experience.

In other words, this is a possible opening. Obi-Wan doesn't know why Darth Sidious would lie to Anakin about this, beyond general Sith sadism, but it means he can tell Anakin the truth, and in doing so, Anakin will realize just how much his Master has lied to him. Finally Obi-Wan can make progress on the arduous task of convincing Vader that not everything is as his Master has told him.

Not to mention, it would provide the poor child some relief from his grief and torment. Obi-Wan knows something of what that feels like. After all these years of believing otherwise, Anakin deserves to know that his mother lives.

"Your mother isn't dead, A—Vader. She survived the Mos Espa bombing. She still lives, and has been doing fine." Obi-Wan isn't simply assuming things either. There was only one time he'd met Shmi in person, when he'd intended to personally inform her of the loss of her son and give condolences. Perhaps it had been the will of the Force itself, that his visit had coincided with the attack, so that he had been able to help Shmi avoid the crumbling buildings, and that they were able to work together to help others out of the wreckage. But either way, since then he's been checking remotely on occasion, to make sure she's alright. Out of guilt, out of some sense of obligation, or both, he doesn't truly know, but he does know that she's remained alive, and in fact managed to procure her freedom somehow. She's also apparently adopted two children, but Anakin doesn't need to know that, at least not yet. Maybe it is a sign of his selfishness and weakness, but personally Obi-Wan would rather not deal with any possible jealousy that news could cause, for as long as possible.

But Anakin doesn't look relieved at all, in fact—well, if Obi-Wan thought Anakin was angry earlier, now he is downright apoplectic. "How. Dare. You."

Obi-Wan isn't too proud to admit he has no idea what is going on. He just doubts Anakin, who is obviously furious, would be interested in hearing that. He merely manages out an "I'm sorry?" before Anakin grabs him by the tunic, eyes suddenly burning a horrible yellow.

"Don't play dumb! I HATE when people PLAY DUMB!" he screams, as wind starts to whip around them, picking up objects in the room as the breezes grow stronger. Losing his temper with the Force again, then. Truly, Anakin's strength in the Force is remarkable. If only his cruel Sith Master hadn't seen fit to misuse it. "How DARE you mock my LOSS by LYING to me like that? As if I haven't suffered ENOUGH at the hands of YOUR KIND—YOU'RE GOING TO THROW MY MOTHER'S DEATH IN MY FACE AS PART OF SOME SICK SCAM?!" Incensed, the boy lets his grip go only to fling his arm out, the Force slamming Obi-Wan against the wall. Ah, Obi-Wan thinks, so that's what this is. The poor child has been lied to about Shmi, because Darth Sidious wanted him to be in pain, to hurt him, yes, but also to control him. Truly Anakin is no Sith at heart, he has just been hurt so badly that now he doesn't know what to believe, is afraid to hope again. Obi-Wan's heart aches for him.

"I can't believe I thought that maybe, just maybe, you were better than that! That you were different from the others—but it turns out you're just like the rest of them! Cruel and heartless—you don't even care that she's MURDERED, and I lost her FOREVER, do you, why, you're just trying to take advantage of me, by USING MOM AGAINST ME! How dare you try and manipulate me, Jedi!" Anakin is feeling angry, yes, but also betrayed, and hurt. He is at a tipping point; he just needs some proof, something a little more concrete, to be convinced into hoping again.

And then Obi-Wan remembers what Shmi had told him all those years ago, what message Shmi had told him she wished she could tell her child. Obi-Wan can tell that to Anakin now. Maybe that will be enough.

"When I met your mother," Obi-Wan shouts, raising his voice only to get his attention, "she told me that if there was only one thing she could say—that she knew what she wished she could have been able to tell you," and now Obi-Wan makes a silent plea to the Force to be able to correctly remember what Shmi had told him all those years ago. "She said that she loves you so much, that you were a blessing from the Mother, you are her akku, to remember that freedom is a thing you take, and that one day she will meet you again in the land where there are no masters."

Anakin is staring at him, silent. "I must confess, I don't actually understand what most of that means, but she said that you would understand, and then I felt I shouldn't pry further, so I really don't—I only knew that this was important to her." Anakin is still staring, so Obi-Wan, feeling the need to explain himself, hurriedly says, "The entire reason for my visit to Tatooine was to inform her of the failure of the search to find you, to give my condolences, and she told me this after I helped her escape the collateral effects of the Mos Espa attack, with the both of us having just spent the last several hours helping people out of the rubble and through the wreckage and chaos. I assumed that she was in an exhausted state of mind, and that I should give her some space. Because of that, I simply thought it best to hold off any unnecessary questions, you see." Hopefully that would make his utter ignorance of the situation less embarrassing.

And then, looking and sounding so, so young, Anakin says, "You—Mom is... really alive? During the attack—you—you saved her?" The poor child looks like he might cry, fighting between despair and hope. Obi-Wan can't trust himself to speak so he just nods his head.

And then suddenly finds himself crushed in the arms of Anakin. Anakin is squeezing him desperately tightly, has given into the urge to cry, and through tears is saying, "Thank you, thank you, Mom's ALIVE, she's alive and it's—it's because of you? I can't—thank you so much..." He dissolves into sobs, which alarms Obi-Wan, except when he turns around in Anakin's embrace to see what's wrong, paradoxically the child is smiling, grinning even. Obi-Wan doesn't understand it, but happiness is apparent in Anakin's face, not even a hint of yellow in his eyes, so Obi-Wan relaxes and continues to allow Anakin to hold him securely.

Oh yes, there is definitely hope. He really can save... Anakin. (And wasn't that a marvel, that that was even a possibility? That Anakin was even alive to be saved? That he hadn't completely failed Anakin after all? That he even has this chance to make up for his failures, to do right to his obligations to Qui-Gon and Anakin both?)

He had compared Vader to Anakin before, but to find out that they were one and the same... if that wasn't a sign that his decision to stay, to try to help, truly wasn't a fool's errand after all, then nothing was. Vader, Anakin, whatever he is going by, Obi-Wan internally makes a promise that he will make sure to save the child, to bring him away from Darth Sidious, and give him brighter days. And Obi-Wan is going to keep his word.

Update:

Sorry I forgot to explain earlier, what akku means.

Akku is a word for heart, from the fanmade secret language of Tatooine slaves, Amatakka, created by Fialleril. So Shmi called Anakin her heart. (It's kind of like calling him her whole world or sweetheart.)

This is complete, but it is Part 1 in a series I'm calling Baby Vader AU. I also published a Part 2, and it's called, Give me a second light, I haven't smiled since yesterday.

Part 2 includes an elaboration on the heated discussion they had over Obi-Wan "abandoning" Anakin, if you're curious about what they said.

Part 3 is I Was A T(w)eenage Sith Lord. It gives little snippets from the years in-between Anakin disappeared and before Obi-Wan found him... in other words, showing what it was like for Anakin, being Sidious's child apprentice.

Part 4 is The Garden of Love. Taking place after this Part 1, an interaction occurs between Anakin and Obi-Wan post-reveal.

Part 5 is Bird in a Cage. Also Part 1 of Baby Vader + Soulmates AU, this covers a lot of Anakin's backstory before Unmasking the Sith, including how exactly Anakin's kidnapping went and how he became Sidious's apprentice, and more about the Mos Espa bombing and why it happened here.