Thank you so much for reading!

I do not own Supernatural or any other TV Show, Book, Movie, App, and/or Website mentioned in this tale.

Chapter Warnings: These chapters are pretty dark as Victoria continues to deal with her trauma

Chapter 25

The Cries of the Fallen

Jack came into the Library and sat tentatively at the table his Dad and Sam were occupying. He had his tablet in front of him, lightly tapping the case. Cas and Sam shared a slight smile.

They each missed their best friends.

Dean and Cas had worked diligently, in their own mutually emotional suppressing way, to communicate better with one another, and cut out the lying. The going back and forth between arguing and being the other's biggest fan (which to be completely honest, they were never not impressed by one another) was simply exhausting. Dean hated it when Cas was mad at him, and Cas hated it when Dean was mad at him. Neither the hunter nor the Angel had much in the way of self-worth, and their likeness in that regard is what often drove the other away. Taking one for the team was only really fully understood by the being who was currently offering their head on a silver platter. To the others involved it was heart breaking. Not that Dean Winchester and Castiel, Angel of the Lord, would ever use the word 'heart' around one another. Unless of course the organ was being consumed by some monster or there was an attack of one. And no, the two would probably never FaceTime or admit to missing the other for mere days, when the two had known absences of a year, but that didn't mean the sentiments were not there.

Sam and Victoria were another story entirely. Although Sam Winchester was one to also bottle feelings by unbottling a bottle of Jack, he was more willing to admit he had feelings. He didn't use the word "love", a trait more than likely ingrained in him from a hunter's childhood, but he understood the feeling, and knew how to accept the feeling in return better than his brother. Yes, Sam often felt unworthy, he often felt unclean, an abomination. He could almost feel Cas's glare at his mere thought of the word. But he was trying to accept the love that stumbled upon him. He knew that even though both he and Dean benefited from physical comfort, Sam could accept it more readily from Victoria than Dean could from Cas. Dean was always worried a hug would last too long, not like anyone in the bunker cared about that. He would pat Cas's back in a finality, indicating the Angel should let go. He saw Dean with Charlie, he knew Dean needed that physicality and just wished the man could get over himself. I mean, he watched Dr. Sexy for crying out loud.

Sam turned his focus to his nephew.

"Something on your mind, Jack?"

"I think I may have found us a case." He flipped the tablet over and put the screen between his Dad and Uncle. "It looks like people are bashing their heads in at an alarming rate."

Sam and Cas shared another knowing, albeit completely different, look.

Victoria fought sleep for everything she was worth. She looked at the sleeping figure on the twin bed a few feet down from hers. Dean was barely under the covers, with one arm hanging off the bed, completely out. Victoria tried to not focus on his breathing as it was making her lids feel incredibly heavy. She rolled her neck and tried to focus back on her book. Jody's attic space was a very cozy spare bedroom with two twin beds and a ¾ attached bath. Wood paneling was exposed, creating a cabin feel, mimicked by the rustic comforters.

Victoria looked around. This was a library? Heaven's library? She was on a chaise lounge, baby cradle beside her. She sensed her baby's longing and quickly brought her to her. "Hello beautiful." She kissed her rosy cheeks, looking into the eyes that so much matched her own.

She looked across at Lucifer who was reading a copy of Paradise Lost. "I don't think it does your vanity justice."

Lucifer moved Sam's eyes from his book to her, intrigue painting his features. "Really? Perhaps I wanted to paint a more modest portrait of myself Doyle."

"Is John Milton your pseudonym? Rather bland, don't you think?"

"You read this, right?"

Victoria nodded.

"You know how he invokes his muse at the beginning?"

"Yes, the Holy Spirit."

"Yeah… not so much."

Victoria chuckled. She laughed in Dream Devil's world of terror. "Right, because you just casually escaped the cage to be a 17th century poet's muse."

Lucifer used Sam's free hand to sweep it in front of him, as if he was of course the one to do that.

"He invoked a spirit, and I answered. Invocation gives us power, allowed me to dream walk. Milton woke up, and dictated to his scribes or whatever, and bam, me, the world's first romantic hero."

"Hum… pretty sure Jesus is the star of that one."

"Milton had to believe he was writing it. Just like your fantasy has to be terrible enough for you to believe it. Same kinda deal."

"So, you've been playing the same game for centuries?"

"I perfected it. And yeah, Jesus may seem like the hero, but, come on Doyle, who has the best lines? I mean 'Tis better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven?' Brilliant."

Victoria had to admit, it was a good line.

"And that's my line, mine. And that is the one that is most remembered."

"What about 'To justify the ways of God to men'?"

Lucifer once more gestured Sam's hand to indicate well, everything. "How'd that work out?"

Victoria sighed. "If you are quite done discussing the literary merits of 17th century British epic poetry, I think I'll just go back to my real life now." Victoria reclined her head on the lounge, baby in the crook of her neck, and closed her eyes. She opened them once more to Lucifer, an audible growl escaping her throat.

"Don't you get it? You have to experience something you think is 'horrific' here in order to send yourself back to Sam world. It's your mind's way of 'coping'." He had strong disdain for the last word.

"You don't think this classifies as horrific?"

She saw a small smile play on the corner of the lips Lucifer stole. "Witty. I like you." He spread his legs apart, bent forward, and clasped his hands between his knees. "You know, it can be like this?"

"To be caught in a dream?"

"You didn't call it a nightmare."

"Because this isn't one. This isn't some over exaggerated hunt gone wrong. Some person's life I feel responsible for flashing between 1970's psychedelic colors, this is something else."

Lucifer sat back. "And it is just now dawning on you Morningstar? As I said before, this is your life. Remember what I said, 'you, me, the kid?'"

"In our bunker?"

"Bingo."

"You didn't mean Jack?"

"No, I meant her."

Victoria looked down at her child again, which had her eyes and Sam's hair. She was only a baby, an infant really, but she could already tell she had his hair. His hair, how did she have his hair?

With a chest rising and falling in an erratic pattern she could not control she stared at the being across from her. "Why does she look like Sam?"

The Morningstar smiled. "Why do you think, Doyle?"

"No, no, when you kidnapped me, drugged me, used my body against my will, you were using Nick's vessel, so no." She steeled herself. "So, this is obviously a very elaborate and disturbingly intricate part of my subconscious trying to work through the trauma you inflicted upon me."

Leaning forward even more than the time before, and licking Sam's lower lip, Lucifer stared into the eyes of the Chosen One he worked so hard to snare, the one he was trying so hard to captivate, "I am an archangel, do you forget I have the power of time travel? And a very interested, and motivated, Apocalyptic self, who did use this vessel?" He leaned back in his chair, picking up his book once more. He gesticulated toward her with it, "And I am nothing if not inventive."

Victoria woke drenched in sweat. She hurriedly went into the bathroom, shut the door, and threw up into the toilet. She turned the water on so Dean wouldn't have to hear every gory detail. She started the shower and sat in the bottom, letting the warm water hit her hard. She turned the water to cold, shivering, knowing a houseful of women and no hot water was not going to be a pretty picture in a few hours. She didn't mind the needles puncturing her skin, it reminded her she was here, in a place where Sam was wonderfully Sam, and her baby wasn't going to have his hair. Probably.

She felt her stomach retch again, and she heaved violently, but there was nothing there. Shaking, trembling, crying, and trying to hold herself together with what felt like poor stitching in her gut, the grace finally settled in her chest, causing a warm itch, which played havoc with the cold needles pelting her flesh. She was being stabbed with flame and icicle.

She opened the shower to find a towel and change of pajamas sitting on the counter. She scratched the grace as she realized Dean had laid her clothes out. She and Sam often did that for one another after nightmares, and she realized then that he learned that from Dean. Her sheets were changed as well, but it looked like Dean hadn't moved, and Victoria surmised he must have intended that.

She smiled as she laid on top of the blanket, not allowing herself to become comfortable. She couldn't sleep again, not after that. Her fingernails were digging into the place between her breasts, scratching at an itch that couldn't be quelled.

"Stop scratching." Dean mumbled into his pillow.

She tried, she really did. Victoria lasted twenty minutes before once again clawing at her sternum.

"Don't make me put socks on your hands." Again, into the pillow.

Victoria leaned back onto the headboard, biting her lower lip, blinking and swallowing her tears. If this was the bunker she would have removed Sam's arm from around her, made a pot of coffee and read in the library. But this wasn't her home, neither one of them, and she couldn't go around other people's homes making coffee and not sleeping. That was rude. Or at least she thought it was.

She'd bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, and dear God how she wanted a drink. She remembered the taste, the numbness that came with it. The mind-numbing detachment that brought peace. Although this damn grace would probably prohibit her from getting drunk. But the nothing that felt like something sounded so damn good right about now.

"Dammit Tor." Dean threw his covers off violently

With an ease that should have alarmed her, Dean lifted her enough to pull the covers out from under her.

"Turn on your side."

"What?"

"On your side. Neither one of us is gonna get any sleep if you keep scratching and Cas told me what works to help it, so, turn over."

"This is a twin sized bed Dean."

"Yeah, Tor, it is. But we've both slept in wooden chairs, so, scoot."

She did, and felt Dean settle in beside her. He pulled the covers over them and held her hand to her heart with his own. His other arm was behind her head, and damn, this bed was small.

"Heal it."

"It's not…"

"I can feel the blood Tor, heal it."

Dean felt the warmth go through Victoria's palm into her chest.

At Dean's touch, the grace did quiet. "I can't sleep Dean. He…"

"I'm right here. And I'll punch Dream Devil bag of dicks so hard he won't know what's coming."

She snorted out a laugh.

"Sleep."

And somehow, she did.

Jody hadn't really meant to open the door without knocking, it wasn't really her intent. She was going to tell them breakfast would be ready in thirty minutes and thought she would give them enough time to get their wits about them.

In her still morning fog, Claire and Alex volunteering to cook for their newest addition, Jody just opened the door. And saw Dean and Victoria in the same small bed spooning. She closed the door just as quickly as she opened it and went back downstairs.

"Are they coming?"

Jody looked at her blonde foster daughter, confusion etched across her features. "What?"

"Victoria and Dean?"

"Oh. Uh, I didn't tell them."

Claire furrowed her brow, "Uh, okay, I'll go up."

Jody let her get to the bottom of the stairs before interjecting, "Knock first!"

Claire nodded at her, confused, because of course she would.

Dean stirred at the slight knock on the door, waking Victoria.

"Is it morning?" She muttered, expecting Sam to answer.

"I guess." She forgot she had to take refuge in Dean's flannel, or black t shirt this time, and felt embarrassed all over again.

Dean untangled himself from Victoria, sat on the edge of the bed, rubbed his eyes, and muttered, "Come in."

Claire stood in the doorway slightly confused. "Alex and I are making breakfast." She looked back and forth between Dean and Victoria. "Did you two sleep in the same small ass bed?"

A grumpy look from Dean answered her question.

Claire looked at Victoria with a mix of pity, sadness, and horror, when she saw the dried blood on the woman's shirt. Occasionally, Victoria could clean her garments when she healed herself, as she did with others, but last night she couldn't find the will to expend the energy.

Dean stumbled to the bathroom and Claire took his spot on Victoria's bed. "Hey." Young blue eyes looked at her earnestly. "Bad night?"

Victoria let out a sigh and nodded. "Apparently comfort helps the itching from the foreign grace. My scratching was keeping Dean awake."

Claire leaned in, a look of knowing dancing in her eyes, "I'm sure that was only Dean's excuse."

Victoria smiled. "Any other reason would be too…"

"Chick flicky." The women said together, smiling.

Dean looked a little confused at the women's sudden amusement as he made his way out of the bathroom, hand running through his hair.

"There's a mug waiting on you in front of the coffee maker."

Dean narrowed his eyes and made his way out of the room. He came back, kissed both women on the top of the head, and left again.

"He's kinda like my uncle. I would say cool uncle, but he'd go all…" Claire rolled her eyes.

"Too self-important? Even more cocky?"

Claire smirked. "Yeah. Or, his eyes would glaze over, which is ten thousand times worse."

Victoria leaned back. "So much worse." Victoria looked at the girl, who was trying so hard to comfort her. "You're really smart Claire."

She inclined her head a bit to the side, Victoria saw Cas there. Claire made a 'humph' noise and looked down at her hands. "Why?"

"You assessed a situation in all of what, ten seconds? And knew that nothing was going on between Dean and myself. You are going to make an excellent supernatural consulting detective one day."

Claire gave her a quizzical eyebrow.

"I would say hunter, but I think maybe, I mean, if you want, you could maybe do what I do?"

"Ah, yeah? And like, get paid?"

"Eventually. But…"

"School first."

"Yes, you're going to get that Diploma."

Alex handed Dean a cup of coffee and smiled at him as she started on some scrambled eggs. The hunter graciously accepted the cup and made a mock bow, indicating his gratefulness.

"Dean."

He wondered why the Sheriff said his name so sternly so early in the morning. "Hey Jody."

"Can I talk to you a minute, outside?"

"Uh, sure?"

Dean almost spilled his coffee when Jody hit him upside the head. "Jody, what the hell?"

"Dean. What are you thinking?"

"I'm really so confused right now." He took a drink of his coffee, trying to gulp down some of the liquid before he could potentially lose it again.

"I know it was an invasion of privacy, but I opened the door to the attic room, and I was going to tell you that breakfast would be ready in half an hour, but I saw you spooning Victoria. In a twin sized bed Dean, really?"

Dean sighed with the upper half of his body. "Jody, really?"

She shrugged, eyebrows indicating she wanted an answer.

"Wait, why is this even an issue?"

"You told me on the phone that she is Sam's girl."

And this time Dean sighed with his entire body. Jody knew him well enough to know he would never do anything to upset his brother's happiness. "You know me Jody. What's going on?"

The sheriff sighed. "At first I was shocked, yeah, but when I came back downstairs, I remembered everything she told us last night. And Dean, if she is constantly coddled, she won't be able to fully heal."

Dean shifted his weight. He understood a bit more now. "Okay, so you don't think I was banging my brother's girl in your house, just so we're clear?"

"What? No. You would never do that to Sam. But Sam is her crutch right?"

Dean sat down in the porch swing, Jody sat beside him.

"Kinda, yeah. But no. Cas has been pulling Tor duty off and on. Sam does it too sometimes, yeah. But her visions or dreams of Lucifer, it's Lucifer in Sam's body, Jody."

The Sheriff closed her eyes. "Crap."

"Yeah." Dean let out a sardonic huff.

"I'm sorry I accused you Dean, I just, I saw her brokenness and your spooning isn't gonna fix it. She's gonna have to fix herself."

"I can't leave her Jody. Not yet."

"What happens?"

Dean rolled his head from side to side. "She has a dream, wakes up, grace starts itching, she scratches till she bleeds, Can't stop until her hand is physically stopped and she's held. She's super embarrassed by it, she's never needed anyone. And now she can't even function."

Jody licked her lips. "Okay. So you stay."

Dean kept drinking his coffee.

"Dean?"

"Hum?"

"You looked peaceful."

Dean snorted. "Yeah, it's uh, nice having someone there for the nightmares."

"You're not gonna do anything stupid, are you?"

Dean narrowed his eyes, he could tell the question was asked with a hint of regret. He sighed, weighing his responses. "This is a deep conversation before my second cup."

Jody pursed her lips, eyes filled with a hint of sadness.

"I'm gonna tell you something Jody, and if you ever tell anyone ever I'll deny it to my dying breath."

"Of course, kid."

Dean took a deep breath and licked his lips. "A few nights back, we were watching a movie, me, Sammy, Tor, and Cas, we were all on Sam's bed." Dean cracked his neck. "Tor has this habit of just melting into Sam, and he just looks so damn peaceful. So, they fell asleep like that, and I fell asleep, and I woke up to Jack in Cas's spot. Jody, that was the best I ever slept in my whole damn life." His eyes were becoming hazy. "Of course I woke up and over-reacted, because that whole thing was way too Lifetime. I fell asleep between my brother, his girl, and my best friend, and I've never felt so frickin' safe."

Jody smiled and looked at her hands, before taking one of Dean's in hers.

"So, yeah, I liked being close to Tor last night. And whatever it is with all of us, it runs deep. But no, as far as romantic feelings go, no. No chance. Sammy was damn lucky in finding that girl. But me, no. But I got a family Jody, that lives with me. And that is more than I thought I would ever get. And we're getting another kid. I'm gonna be an Uncle."

Jody rested her head on Dean's shoulder.

Alex opened the door to the back porch. "Breakfast is ready."

Sam and Cas looked at Jack in the tan suit. Sam smiled half-heartedly and Cas was teetering between a look of pride and a look that screamed 'we're never going to pull this off'.

"Do I look like an FBI intern?"

Cas looked up at Sam. "Is this even the route we should be going? Surely Victoria has a contact around here?"

Sam looked unsure. Jack did look incredibly young. Even too young for an intern. And impersonating an FBI officer was a federal offense. And they were legit now. He sighed. "Yeah, I'll uh, call her."

Sam tapped the table lightly as he waited for Victoria to answer.

"Hey."

He smiled at her voice. "Hey."

"You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Jack found a case and we were wondering if you had any contacts around North Platte, Nebraska."

"A case?"

"Banshee, probably."

Victoria tapped her fingernails on the coffee table as she looked over an essay of Claire's. "I'll look through my phone, see what I can find."

Sam could hear the hesitation in her voice. "What's wrong?"

"When I said ask your Dad and Uncle, I didn't expect the Dad and Uncle to say 'yes'."

Sam smiled and bit the inside of his cheek. "Ah, well, that's what you get for playing that parent card." He chuckled at what he knew her expression most certainly look like.

Victoria circled the thesis statement in red and added a note in the margin. "Not amused Sam."

"I know, just kinda wanted to picture your face. It gets all crinkly when you're not amused. I like it."

Victoria let out a sigh that had a bit of a huff in it.

Sam leaned against the table. "What are you doing?"

"Proofreading Claire's essay."

"She's a good kid."

"She's promising." The woman smiled at the blonde, pride welling in her.

"That's something, coming from you."

"Indeed."

She could feel the tension. "Now it's my turn to ask, what's wrong?"

"Yeah, I uh, missed you last night." Sam scuffed his shoe into the floor.

Victoria closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I missed you too, Sam. It'll get better. I think Dean was right, I need to be around some badass women."

Claire looked up from her book and smiled at her.

"And Dean?"

Victoria needed Dean, she knew that the second he held her hand to her chest. Sam helped, of course he did, but sometimes seeing Sam's face or hearing his voice right after waking up from one of those nightmares sent a brand-new wave of panic through her. But she couldn't tell him that. She couldn't tell the man she was in love with that her brother was better at calming her than he was. "He might leave soon, I'm not sure."

Sam knew her well enough to know she was leaving out something. "It's okay, Tor, if you need him."

Damn Sam Winchester and his astuteness. "I need you, Sam." She knew that was lame.

"No, I get it, I do. I mean you're having dreams about Lucifer and I was…"

"What?"

"It makes sense, Tor, Dean is the righteous one." Why was he letting this spill out now? What the hell even was this?

Victoria felt tears welling in her eyes. "Sam, no, no, that's not… no. Are you frickin' kidding me?" She felt her eyes burn.

Claire looked at the woman, saw her eyes flash purple and decided to go get Dean.

Why was he doing this, right now? He was hurt, that's why. "I don't know why I said that, I'm sorry."

"It came from somewhere, Sam. Tell me where."

"No, it's fine."

"If you don't tell me now, then I'll ask Castiel to come and fly me to you so that you'll have to look me in the eye and tell me. Your choice."

Sam kicked the floor. "You are my best friend, Tor. I…" He couldn't say it. "I want you in my life, need you in my life, I like having you around, I like holding you and feeling you fall asleep on me. And Dean is the one taking you to Jody's, Dean is the one who is probably curled up to you at night holding your hand to your chest because I know that's the only thing keeping you together. And that, that breaks my frickin' heart."

How long had he been holding that in? Victoria felt so small, so insignificant. She knew Sam was right, she knew someone else's hand on her chest was the only thing keeping her together. Her hand went to her sternum, nails scratching. "What do you want from me Sam?" Her voice was weak, broken.

She heard him scoff. "I don't know Tor, the truth?"

"It'll hurt you."

"Well, I'm pretty hurt now, so…"

Victoria let the tears roll down her cheeks. "Okay. In my dreams, or visions, Lucifer is using your vessel. He tells me that you agreed because he agreed to not push me too far if you would consent. I couldn't take the dreams anymore, and I thought it was the grace so I tried to cut it out with the archangel blade. I ended up nicking my heart. Ezekiel woke up Dean to tell him to get Castiel and heal me. Then Dean decided to bring me up here."

Sam swallowed, bile rising in his throat. "You cut yourself?"

"Sam?" The voice was so tiny. "I just wanted the dreams to stop, I wasn't trying to hurt myself."

Sam tried to blink away the tears. "I didn't even know."

Victoria slid from the chair onto the floor. "I didn't want you to."

"Can you see me? For just a minute? Cas'll take you right back?"

Tor looked at the eldest Winchester who was now standing over her, eyes questioning. Damn, that girl looked broken. "Yes."

Cas appeared in the South Dakota living room and Victoria dropped her phone.

"Cas?"

"Dean."

"Hi Cas!"

The Angel turned to hug the young woman. "Hi Claire." He looked down at the couch. "Are you studying?"

The young woman nodded, slight amusement on her face.

"I am to take Victoria to Sam and then bring her back."

"I don't know Cas, she…"

"I told him everything Dean." Victoria looked at Dean, tears escaping.

"Kay. Right back."

Cas nodded.

Sam was leaning against the Stang, his eyes full of pain, jaw set. His nostrils flared. She stood a few feet away from him. He held his arms open and she stepped into them.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew it would hurt you."

The man held her so tight to him, as if his arms could make the dreams disappears, make everything else irrelevant. Victoria inhaled the scent of him deeply. She pulled away and looked into his eyes, searching for anger but found only pain.

He smiled sadly and wiped the tears away from her cheeks.

"Sam, I never want to hurt you. I…"

Woman up Doyle.

"I…"

Screw it.

"I love you."

Sam searched her eyes, their gaze never wavering. She had no trouble separating him from Lucifer here. The devil could never hold that much emotion in a host's eyes.

Sam bent down to touch their foreheads. She felt his heartbeat increase as her hand stayed on his chest. He inclined his lips towards hers.

"Can I?" He breathed, low, scared.

"Yes."

Gently, he kissed her. Since this was her Sam, and not parallel universe Sam, she was able to kiss him back. The act didn't send shivers down her spine or cause electricity to surge in her body, but the connection, the connection she would never experience with another being besides Sam Winchester, made her feel warm. She felt his hands tighten on her back, and she let the hand that was on his chest move to his hair, pulling his head down closer to hers. Her other hand encircled his waist, and she felt so loved in that moment, even if he didn't say it back.

Sam Winchester, unlike the woman he was currently kissing, was a sexual human. He knew he would have to take certain precautions in moments like these, and almost lost a little bit of control when she put her hand in his hair. He reeled it back in though, keeping the kiss chaste, for the most part. Okay, so yeah, he loved this girl.

Sam broke the connection, loosening his grip on Victoria. She let her hand slip back from his head to his chest. They opened their eyes once more.

"Was that…?"

Victoria smiled at his slight dis-ease. She stroked his cheek. "It was perfect, you are perfect, and you make me feel worthy of you."

Sam slightly snorted, their foreheads still touching. "I think it's the other way around. Come back home to me."

"Sam."

"When you're better." He pulled away and kissed her forehead.

"There's no place I'd rather be."