"Oh! And at one point, Bilbo finds Balin sitting at a desk thing, and it doesn't take a Genius or a rocket scientist or a forensic scientist or a-"
"Rachel-" Said Lynn, scenting danger.
"OR A ROCKET SCIENTIST OR A PSYCOLOGIST OR A PSYCHIATRIST OR A-"
"Meteorologist?" Said Lynn, resignedly.
"No, silly! That's for weather! So IT DOES NOT TAKE A SCIENTIST OR A GENIUS OR A SHACKALACKA or any, you know them-"
"Who's them?"
"You know, them, to see that he's crying, and HE CRYING CAUSE HIS FRIEND IS SICK! YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH THAT?!" Rachel demanded.
Lynn leaned back. "Umm...no..."
"And Bilbo was all like, hey, Balin dude, what would happen if Thorin got the arkenstone what would happen? What it, like, cure him or something?"
And Balin is all like, "Oh, sure, he would like it, but would it stop it? Neh, Laddie. Only he says it like, Lattie. Which sounds like latte. Mmm...latte..." Suddenly Rachel was holding a latte.
"When did you get that?" Asked Lynn.
"Time lapse!" Said Rachel, swallowing her latte with one gulp. So, then Bilbo's like oooohhhhhhh...because..." Suddenly Rachel started sobbing hysterically.
Lynn patted her best friend on the back. "It's OK, Rachel. What's wrong?"
"IT'S A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION! IF THORIN GETS THE ARKENSTONE, HE'LL GO INSANE! IF HE DOESN'T, HE'LL GO INSANE! I CAN'T TAKE IT MUCH LONGER!"
"But Rachel, you have seen the end...right?"
"Yes." Sniffled Rachel.
"But why...?"
"I'M VENTING MY FEELINGS! THIS IS HOW I FELT THEN!"
Rachel took a tissue, gave it a huge, honking blow, then said, "Oh, that's BETTER! WANNA HEAR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!"
Lynn nodded. She didn't have much of a choice with Rachel.