A/N: Inspired by Came Here for Love by Sigala & Ella Eyre. One of my very favorite songs right now. This was supposed to be a short drabble that wouldn't leave my head and it turned into this. TW: Mentioned child abuse, Mentioned CSA, Mentioned Cancer.
Julie had gotten fed up with the boys constantly going into her room to dig through her music collection. The cd's were constantly out of order and sometimes they'd go missing entirely, mysteriously ending up piled on top of the stereo in the studio. She had gotten so annoyed by the end that she had taken her old iPod, loaded with all of her old and most beloved music. She filled up the rest of it with her newer music, including stuff her mother had recorded, put the settings on shuffle and made her way to the studio before heading out to school.
She walked in to find the boys collapsed on the couch asleep. Reggie with his mouth open head on Luke's chest, Luke was in the middle with his head on Alex's shoulder, snoring softly. Alex's arm was around Luke and resting gently on Reggie's head, his own tossed back on the back of the couch. She smiled and watched them for a moment. Basking in the miracle that was her family.
It had been two days since the performance at the Orpheum, taking place on Friday, they had the entire weekend to both come to terms with, and discover what had actually happened. She had, against all odds, brought them back to life. Her love had brought them back. From Luke's first sharp intake of breath, the need to fill his lungs, new and yet eons old, had startled him.
Alex had coughed and then clutched at his chest, his eyes wide and full of tears. "My heart...it's beating!" Reggie had choked out a sob and gathered them all into another group hug where they cried and laughed and jumped around. Celebrating not only their amazing performance but their very obvious escape from the other side.
That night they had come clean to Ray. Who first smiled big and welcomed her band into their home, thinking they had flown in from wherever they were from. It had taken two hours, many questions, few answers, and one teary Reggie who hugged her dad when he had informed them that two of them would have to share a room since they only had two extra bedrooms available. Ray had adopted them into his family. The boys, having had strained relationships with their own parents, had looked at Ray with hearts in their eyes and just group hugged him. Ray beamed, informed them he was going to bed and that he expected them to be in bed at a normal hour as well.
Julie smiled again, she didn't want to wake them up but she also wanted to give them the iPod so they would stay out of her room while she was gone.
"Good morning, boy band!" she yelled, startling the boys awake and laughing as Reggie fell off of the couch.
"Who are you calling boy band?" Luke grumbled as he snuggled deeper into Alex's shoulder and instantly fell back asleep. Alex smiled and looked back up at Julie. He stood up leaving Luke to fall sideways, face first into the cushions. He groaned deep into the cushion but stayed that way.
"I just wanted to give you something. I loaded it up with all of my music as well as all of my favorites over the years. There's also a few songs I recorded of my mother. You know, so that my CD's stop growing legs and walking over here." She waved vaguely in the direction of the stereo.
"Just plug it into the AUX cord and have at it. Dad and Carlos will be gone until after dinner probably so feel free to blast it." She handed it over to Reggie who looked like he'd just been given a present he never thought to ask for.
"Yes, some of my favorite country songs are on there too, Reggie." He beamed at her and hurried over to plug it in, pressing play. The first song to come on was "I want it that way" by the Backstreet Boys. Julie's face broke into a grin.
You are….My Fire
The one...Desire
Believe…. When I say…
That I want it that way….
She sang to them getting fully immersed in the song, losing all track of time. By the second chorus, the boys were singing along with her and twirling her between them. Luke was still face first in the couch cushions, very obviously not humming along. Definitely not humming along. Boy bands were too generic.
The song ended and she looked at her boys, she smiled so wide, her cheeks hurt.
"God, I love the Backstreet Boys." She said. Luke turned then to look at her.
"They're still around? I remember when they first appeared on the music scene, it was insane. We've got it going on was my jam!" He jumped up excitedly and started performing some dance moves that made Julie and the boys laugh.
"Well it's on there too. All of their albums are, including the new one. They're going on tour next month." Luke looked surprised at that.
"They've been around for twenty five years and they're still making music together?" Something in the way he said it made the rest of them take notice.
"Wow, dude. That'll be us someday!" Reggie said throwing an arm around him and shaking him, a huge grin plastered on his face. Alex smiled too, knowing that it was all Luke ever wished for them. A loyal fanbase, a band that's also family, and music that resonates with generations.
Julie looked at her phone and her eyes bugged out. "I'm late! I have to go. Enjoy the music!" she waved as she ran out of the studio and off to her day at school.
The boys spent the rest of the day letting the music play, catching up on twenty five years of music they'd missed. Reggie heavily favored Taylor Swift, especially Trouble. Alex was thoroughly obsessed with Sam Smith, who he said had his favorite voice of all of the artists they'd listened to. Luke had loved it all and would never admit that the Backstreet Boys songs were his favorites.
Julie arrived home at three to the beginning of her very favorite song at the moment.
I'm no longer broken hearted
So glad I came here tonight
And I see you got what I wanted
Baby, you got what I like
She burst onto the garage, dropping her bag and breaking out into a dance. Jumping around and grabbing Alex and twirling him.
I can see that you're watching me
Come over, talk to me, need you to give me a sign
You got that something sweet
That don't come easily, it's what I need tonight
She'd heard the song a million times, played it out to herself but the lyrics never resonated with her as hard as they did in this moment. While she was jumping around. Luke and Reggie doing some weird mix of ballroom and ballet, Alex holding her hand tight and smiling at her as if she'd held all the answers to all of the questions in the world.
I came here for love
For someone to hold me down
I won't give it up, no
I want you to reach out
She reached out to Luke who took her hand, spun her into his chest and then spun her out to Reggie who picked her up, spun her and dropped her in front of Alex who took both of her hands and started jumping again. The beat was infectious and it gave them all a surge of energy they couldn't control.
I'm so ready to get on it
You follow me, you'll be fine
And I'm in too deep
Have I fallen, without anyone inside?
She looked the boys over as she sang and danced with them. The boys were singing along with the song by now and her heart filled up. In that moment she knew her mother had sent them to her. To heal her broken heart, to give music back to her, to show her what she was really capable of.
This is what we came here for, we came here for love
I won't give, I won't give it up
This is what we came here for, we came here for love
I know this, I know it's enough
This is what we came here for, we came here for love
I won't give, I won't give it up
This is what we came here for, we came here for love
I want you to reach out
She'd never give them up. She didn't know what work of the universe brought them back to life and into her life but she was sure she'd fight tooth and nail if anything ever threatened them again. She knew, realistically Caleb was still a threat to them. More so now if he found out the boys were alive again, she dared him to try something. She'd be ready, she'd kill him again.
The song faded out and they stood there smiling at eachother, breath coming fast and hard. Luke turned off the stereo and sat on the couch. Julie smiled to herself.
"Get up for a second, Luke." He did and she walked over, pulling the couch out and making it big enough to fit all four of them comfortably. Even though there was plenty of room for them to have their own space, they still gravitated to her, who was in the middle. Luke laid down on her left, his head on her chest, Alex laid to the right, his head also on her chest, slightly above Luke's, and Reggie squeezed in the middle of Alex and Julie, his head on her stomach, his arm around her waist.
They laid that way for a while, quiet contemplation, basking in the glow of just being together, touching, breathing, hearts beating. It was magic. Reggie spoke first.
"I never really had a family. My parents made it obvious that they never wanted me. Mom had her tubes tied right after I was born. It was just us three all of my life. When they weren't fighting each other, they were taking their frustrations out on me." He lifted his sleeve to show them a scar, it looked like a burn scar.
"This is from when my mom caught me trying to make mac and cheese. I wasn't allowed to go into the kitchen but I was just so hungry. I hadn't eaten the whole weekend and I just wanted something, anything. My stomach hurt." His voice cracked as he talked. Julie lightly scratched his head, her other hand grabbing his and offering silent support. He needed to get this out, she didn't think he'd ever spoken about it before, even if the boys seemed unsurprised by his story. Alex and Luke looked murderous.
"I never knew what family meant, or even what it felt like to feel loved until I met Luke and Alex. And then you came into our...after lives? And you looked at me, at us, like we were the most important people in your world. I understood then." His arm wrapped tighter around her. His face buried in her sweatshirt to hide away from their pitying faces. Julie leaned in and kissed him on the head.
"I love you, Reggie." She squeezed his hand tighter, the boys moving in closer to surround him from all sides. It was silent again after that. Alex spoke a little while later.
"My parents were always religious. I was raised to respect the word of god and the church. When I figured out i was gay, I was twelve. I didn't even really understand it, I just knew I was different. I didn't tell anyone but I felt wrong. Like I was evil. It took me a long time to work up the courage to tell them. I don't know what I expected, obviously not excitement or support but what I got was worse than anything.
"They sent me to our pastor twice a week. He wasn't...he wasn't a good man. He hurt me. When I told them that, they were outraged, they didn't believe me so they sent me to conversion camp. It was the worst thing I'd ever gone through. I felt disgusting, dirty, like just being who I was, was wrong on every level. I came back after that summer, my parents weren't home and my little sister was at camp. I packed my bags and went to Luke's. I never saw them again and they never tried to find me. They didn't even know if I was alive or not, they didn't care." Alex was clutching at her hand now, his tears soaking into her chest through her shirt.
Luke was looking him in the eyes now. "You are perfect exactly the way you are, we love you so much, Alex." they scooted closer again. If they got any closer, they'd merge into one being. Julie thought that'd be totally fine by her.
After it was quiet for a few minutes Luke spoke.
"My parents hated my guitar, they got it for me thinking it'd be a way for me to get out my excess energy. A way for me to focus through my ADHD. It helped me focus, that's for sure. Just not on the right things, never on the things my parents wanted for me. It was like they forgot that I was my own person. They wanted me to graduate, go to college, get a job and become part of the societal system. That's never been me. I had...have one love and that's music. It became this hated thing in my house. They took away my guitar and my stereo, my walkman. Anything that would bring the only thing I wanted into my life. The night I ran away, it got ugly. I said some pretty nasty things, I just wanted to hurt them like they hurt me. They wanted some carbon copy of a son, someone who would be the perfect little member of society. So I took away what they wanted. They couldn't control me if I wasn't there to control." he finished.
"I just wanted the freedom to be me." Luke whispered this last part. He wasn't speaking to them anymore. Julie leaned over and kissed his forehead.
"The you, that you are is our favorite person." She smiled at him all watery and full of love and Luke thought he'd never need anything else in his life except for the three people in his arms.
Julie knew it was her turn, they had opened up and bared their souls to her. It was her turn to discuss what she hadn't even told Flynn about the last year of her mothers life.
"When my mom was diagnosed, it was kind of this other thing. Like, okay. She has cancer. People go into remission all the time. They caught it early , it would be fine. She had her ovaries removed and we thought 'this is good, they got it all, it's gone, right?' No, it had spread almost overnight. To her lungs, her uterus, her stomach. Once the testing was done, they told her she had at most a month to live. How were we supposed to process that? Carlos and I were going to lose our mother. My dad was going to lose the only woman he'd ever loved. How were we supposed to go on?
"She deteriorated really fast. One moment she was eating and laughing and writing music and the next week she couldn't get out of bed. Her skin had lost the golden glow I'd always envied. Her eyes were starting to dim. The night she died, we knew it was coming. My dad was the first to say goodbye to her. Then Carlos, and finally me. It took me so long to work up the courage to go into the room. I just didn't want my last memory of her to be that, you know? She'd always been so bright and full of energy. I sat with her and the last thing she said to me was 'You'll never be alone." I never understood what she meant. When she finally let go, I think a part of me died with her.
"That year, before you all literally fell into my life, I'd never felt more alone. Even with Flynn with me everyday and Carlos sneaking into my room every night and my dad always worried and trying to be there for me, I still felt alone."
Then, two months ago, these three goofballs proofed into my studio and I understood what she was saying. I'd never be alone because I'd always have the three of you."
Alex, Luke, and Reggie threw their legs over her, entangling the four of them, bringing them closer than should have been possible.
"You have to know she's still watching over you. We didn't even know her and we can feel her presence all around you. Especially in here. Sometimes, it smells like honeysuckle and I know your perfume is all roses. Sometimes we'll hear the piano while you're in school, once in a while we'll hear humming while we're writing and I know for sure she's here. She's so proud of you, Jules." Luke tells her and they're all crying now. Hugging ever tighter.
They fall asleep like that, all tangled in each other. Ray comes home at six that day, finding the house empty, he makes his way to the studio. He finds them asleep, all tangles in each other. He's about to wake them up for dinner but then he takes a closer look.
Their faces are puffy, eyes swollen and noses red. They'd been crying and Ray was sure there had been some soul baring happening in here. He smiled, turned out the light and walked back to the house.
He stopped in the yard and looked up to the sky.
"Thank you, Rose. I don't know how you did it, but thank you so much for bringing those boys into her life." he smiled as a breeze caressed his face, the scent of honeysuckle tickling his nose.