Barbel Beacher, 18, District 4 male

"Barbel? Barbel, you with me?" I hear my therapist as my senses return to reality.

I look my Therapist, Scott in the eyes and I can feel anger rising, but I force it back down and take a sip of my water instead. "So you were saying something about last night at the academy?" Scott reminds me and I shift in my seat as I gaze at my cup again.

"I had another…episode last night at the academy." i mumble.

"I see, would you like to go into more detail about it?" Scott asks.

"As you already know, I was selected to be the volunteer this year after winning the qualification tournament. I went to the academy last night to finish up some last minute training. Everything was going fine, then I started feeling the anger return" and scott nods.

"I couldn't control it this time scott. I laid down an open challenge at the academy, I even put my title of volunteer on the line, vowing to sit the games out if I lost. I even made it easy for the challengers. I told all five of them to come at me, and I just remember them rushing at me before everything went blank." and scott listens intently as he nods again.

"I see all of them laying on the floor, with broken limbs, puddles of blood forming around them and tears streaming from their eyes as they beg me to stop." I continue.

"No one cared to intervene? No one tried to break it up after seeing you were…going too far? Scott questions.

"Everyone was too afraid, I saw each and every one of them frozen with horrified looks on their face. They did the right thing though, they would've all ended up on the floor with broken limbs too…or worse." I admit.

These attacks started when I was fifteen, basically the monster I try so hard to conceal and bury deep inside of me emerges and attacks anyone nearby. It doesn't matter if it's family,friends or just someone I happen to be fond of. Everyone around me is in danger when these attacks start.

I'm usually able to shut it down with medication before it escalates that far, but when I'm not able to, this is what happens. This is why I chose to go to therapy. There isn't going to be any medication in the arena for me to keep this under control, so decided to use therapy as a last resort to get healthy and sane. Having these attacks in the arena will get me killed. Yeah I'll probably take down five or six tributes in the process but what good is that if I just end up dead anyways? I need to have a clear mind if I plan on walking out of the arena alive.

"What about friends,family? Anyone else you can speak to outside of therapy?" Scott asks and I snort, turning in my chair.

"I cut myself off from most of the people I associated myself with, and I do it for their own good since I don't trust myself and can suddenly harm anyone in sight. I nearly killed one of my bestfriends Zeus after I had another episode and he just happened to be the closest person next to me, my other two bestfriends augustus and Serpent managed to get me off before he was killed and I'm glad they did. I would've never forgave myself for that. I am my biggest fear." I turn in my chair once more.

"What about your other two best friends? Augustus and Serpent?" Scott pours more water into my cup from the cold pitcher sitting on the table between us.

"Augustus got hurt getting me off of Zeus, he still tries to talk to me. I push him away every time though cause I don't want to hurt him again. Serpent hates me, he teases and tries to bully me whenever he see me, it takes every ounce of my soul to not bash his skull in, but I keep it together." I grumble.

I only met scott recently, but it feels like I've known him for years, I'm comfortable around him now. I barely uttered a word in our previous sessions, but now I really can tell him anything. This is what I hate about myself, always getting attached.

"You did tell me a little about your parents, want to go into more detail about them?" Scott asks.

"I'm gay scott." I suddenly say and he only stares at me with a confused look.

"Ok...does this relate to the conversation in anyway?" he asks in a confused tone.

"I came out to my parents when I was eight years old, they supported me all the way through like I mean one hundred fucking percent!" I raise my voice slightly feeling my anger starting to spike again, but I quickly gulp down my cup of water as I try and relax myself.

"Isn't that something to be happy about?" Scott refills my cup once more.

"That's how I should be feeling right? But I can't help but wonder, why are they so supportive? Why aren't they judging me like most parents judge their children when they come out to them? Were they actually judging me from the inside? Being afraid to tell me the truth? About how disappointed they are that they won't ever see me standing in an aisle ready to marry the woman of my dreams? That I won't be able to bear them any grandchildren?" I bark and scott rests his hand on top of mine and I immediately feel myself beginning to relax.

"It's ok Barbel, your parents support you because they love you. It doesn't matter who you are, or who you want to be. Your parents will always be by your side to support you because they accept you, for who you are, and you'll always be their son." Scott smiles.

I look into his eyes as my heart rate increases and my emotions get the better of me as i lean in to try and kiss him but he leans his head back and his eyes widen, Dammit!

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." I quickly jump to my feet and grab my bag as I prepare to leave.

"Barbel, wait!" Scott calls, but I quickly leave the offfice cursing under my breath why didn't I push him away!? Why didn't I push him away like I push away everyone else that I develop feelings for? I'm so upset with myself.

After leaving the office building, I kick the metal entrance door, leaving a huge dent in it and I hear several gasps as I turn around and see a man and woman holding hands as they look at me in fear.

I only glare them for a moment before storming away. I know what they're probably thinking, probably wondering why "gay people are so violent".That's the reputation I set for us. I can't go home like this though. I need some stress relief before I go off to these games tomorrow morning. I knock on the door of probably the only person in this district I consider my friend, and Fernando opens the door shortly afterwards with a bathrobe around him, he must've just got out the shower.

"I've been expecting you, come on in, I'll give you a massage." he smiles as he grabs my hand and leads me inside of his home. Fernando is my friend with benefits. I don't see him as anything more despite Fernando wanting us to be more than that. He's very romantic, I appreciate that but still, I couldn't advance things with him due to my own insecurities.

"How was your final therapy session?" Fernando asks as he pulls off my tight shirt reaveling my dark and thin torso. I sit on his bed and he sits behinds me beginning to massage my shoulders.

"A waste of my damn time." I grumble as Fernando sighs laying his head on my shoulder as he wraps his arms around my torso.

"I know I can't talk you out of this, but please don't die Barbel..." his voice cracks.

"I'll be fine." I assure him.

"But do you have yourself under control?" he counters.

Yeah I know I'll be my worst enemy out in that arena, as long as I remain composed, victory will be swift and decisive.

"You don't need to worry about me Fernando, I'll be back." I assure him again.

"ok..i believe you." he kisses my neck and continues massaging me.

Once he finishes massaging me, he begins playing some romantic music as we lay down next to each other, ready to fall asleep soon. Before falling asleep, I hear Fernando mumble an "I love you." I wish I could say the same…

Vendetta McClain,18, District 4 female

I knock the head off another dummy as I ruthlessly swing my warhammer at it. I'm gasping for air at this point but I continue, I can't stop here. I spin around and see seven dummies standing still and I let out a strained battle cry as I proceed shatter all of them with my warhammer. I then slam my hammer on the floor and grab my container of coffee as I take several sips of it, trying to ignore the burning sensation going down my throat. I don't even remember the last time I slept, it was days ago and that was only cause I passed out during training since I ran out of coffee. That wasn't going to happen again though. This time I'm prepared for whatever presents itself to me. I can mostly stay awake for days without coffee, but it did help when i was in a pinch. This is what i do every day though. This is the only thing i knew how to do ever since…

I put my container of coffee on the floor and stand up as i prepare to resume my training. My eyes are heavy, I try to fight it but my body is literally shutting down. Reapings are in a few hours, I need to stay awake…I need to keep training. I look down at my ring as i take several deep breaths. Mattias I'm doing all of this for you, and I promise I'm not gonna let you down.

Mattias was my fiance. The only man that ever loved me, the only man who accepted me for who I am. Right before the 78th games, he proposed to me, promising we'd get married after he returned home as victor. He made it all the way to the finale and it was just him and his district partner, Maria Waters left. He managed to severely injure Maria in the fight, he was a lot more skilled than her afterall. As he was about to finish her off, she tripped him and while he was off balance, quickly pushed him into a pool of acid. I still remember those piercing screams, the acid melting the skin off his body, revealing his flesh,cartilage and bone underneath and later ompletely melting his entire body away. Just like that, Maria was the victor. Everything went dark since then. I remember being the only one at his funeral, since he was an orphan and didn't have any family. I only stood still frozen, staring at an empty casket for hours upon hours.

Maria Waters, she took away my happiness, she took Mattias away from me and for that, she has to die. I have to kill her in the most gruesome way imaginable. It's the only way I'd avenge Mattias, killing her is my only goal!

I felt so numb at first, like my life didn't even matter anymore, like I wasn't even alive. That numbness turned to anger though, it's literally the only thing I care about and her blood will be on my hands by the time I reached the arena.

"Still training huh?" I hear a ghastly voice and I see my father leaning against the wall.

"You're not real, you're not real…" I mumble to myself but his cackles interrupt.

"Disgusting, look at you now. Can almost fool someone into thinking you're actually a woman. Your curly black hair, your dark skin, your thin and petite body with curves. You're just so pitiful!" he spits and I grit my teeth in anger as my hand tightens around my spear.

"You're not real." I mumble again and quickly blink my eyes several times. But he's still there.

"I'm not real? It's whatever you're envisioning yourself as that's not real! No matter what you wear, how you look, what kinds of medications you're putting in your system or how many operations you get done on your body, you'll never be who you want to be!" he hisses.

"Shut up!" I yell as I throw a spear at him but he suddenly vanishes as the spear bounces off the wall. I take several deep breaths, Another hallucination, this is one of the side effects of being up for so many days without any sleep. The hallucinations is usually always my father, who abandoned me and my mother after I came out as trans at the age of eleven. I still remember his last words after he packed his last bag.

"You're no son of mine!" He said with so much disdain before storming out.

I still see see him outside occasionally, with his new wife and kids. I always want to kill him aswell. He makes it no secret about how much he hates transgenders. He shamed me In public, loudly shouting that i was a dude who wished to be a girl, and that I bought nothing but shame on his name. I want to kill him so bad! I always have to use every ounce of will to keep myself from smashing every bone In his body. I start hyperventilating every time i see him, but I always manage to calm myself dowm. When I kill Maria and after I come back home as victor, I'm going to kill him. He didn't completely ruin my life though. Even after he left, I still lived a good life with my mother before Mattias was killed. I manage to shake off my sleepiness and continue training in my basement. I continue smashing dummies at close range with my warhammer and using my throwing stars to strike the ones in the distance. I then strike a dummy in the torso with my war hammer and proceed to kick it's head off.

"Whoa, I feel bad for any tribute who runs into you!" I hear a snarky voice and I spin around to see my friend Herman, another halluncination I bet.

"You're not real." I mumble.

"oh come on not this again, do I have to kiss you on the cheek again to prove I'm not a hallucination?" he asks in an irritated tone.

Yeah a hallucination wouldn't say that. I drop my hammer and look at Herman.

"I'm sorry…" I apologize and Herman smiles as he walks over to me.

"All is well, I figure you must've had a hallucination before I showed up?" he asks as he grabs my container of coffee and sips it.

"That's a lot of sugar!" his face curls.

"yeah, I saw him again." I mumble as I look at one of the shattered dummies.

"I came by last night to bring you some cookies, your mom told me you were down here training though, I didn't want to bother you, so she put the cookies on the table and i just went back home." he scratches his head.

Herman, I wouldn't consider a friend, but he's someone I don't mind spending time with. He's a fun guy and is a nice distraction to have from my mission once in a while. He's pretty tall and thin, short hair, blue eyes and fair skin. He's not a bad looking guy. Most people think he's gay as he's very feminine, but he's straight apparently. Still though, he's done a lot for me. He comes from a wealthy family so helped pay for all of my surgeries and hormone additions just so I can feel better about myself. I did feel better, but at the same time it's just always in the back of my mind. Will anyone ever love me for who I am? if I'll ever find someone who accepted me like Mattias did. I just want to be loved...i just want to be accepted.

"You could've just came down." I insist but he only shakes his head.

"Nah it's good, I know it was very important for you to get your last minute training in, who would I be to take that from you?" he smiles and I look at him and can't help but smirk a little. I always like seeing his smile, I'd probably never tell him that though.

"Anyways, reapings are gonna be starting soon, we better hurry up and head down there!" he reminds me.

Already? Well I did often lose track of time while I was training. I probably still have time to dress, but I'm just going to go down there in the training outfit I'm wearing now. It's all sweaty and probably smells but I don't care, I'll just wash up on the train. We head upstairs and I think my mother is still in her room probably applying her make up. I quickly grab a cookie off the table and bite into it as me and Herman leave the house together. The cookie is really good though and it's soft baked!

"Wow this is really good!" I compliment him.

"Yeah? Well glad you like it. I was going to make some burgers." he chuckles.

"Why didn't you? You know how much I love those!" I remind him.

"yeah yeah I know, but it'll be better, to have a big fat juicy burger together when you come back as victor!" he smiles and puts his arm around me.

"yeah you're right, that'll be a nice welcome back gift." I agree.

We finally reach the square and I already see my peers giving me angry looks. Most of these people I beat up in the streets for calling me "She-male".

Killing Maria will be next to impossible here in this district. I knew the only way I'd ever get close to her is to volunteer. She'll have no choice but to face me, and I'd have her all to myself. I did everything I could to make myself stand out from the others who were also trying to volunteer, even if I had to sabotage their skills to make myself shine. My trainers took a liking to me however. They saw I was a lot stronger than the other female careers and thought I had the best chance of making it back. After we get our blood drawn, Herman pats me on the back before we go our separate ways. I stand in the female section and I can already hear whispers.

"Why is he standing here?"

"He should be with the other boys."

"Good point, I mean she does have a penis just like the other boys or did atleast."

I hear more I insults and rude comments but I only look forward pretending its not bothering me, but it's actually breaking me apart... Our escort on the stage is named Ralph. He's actually a pretty normal looking guy by captiol standards. He's just an olive skinned, tall man with shades and a matching black suit. Our ten living victors sitting across from each other and ofcourse Maria the most recent victor and the woman I'm going to kill is only sitting with her legs crossed with a smug smile on her face. Once the introductions and everything is out of the way, Ralph begins drawing a name.

"we'll be starting with the males this year." his deep voice booms and he casually walks over to the male's bowl and pick out a name.

"Tyson Greene!" he calls.

"I volunteer!" a familiar voice immediately shouts and I see a dark skin male of average height with smooth black hair emerge from the eighteen year old male section. he's pretty thin but even then his suit is skin tight on him. Anyways he calmly walks to the stage. That's Barbel, we trained at the same academy together and I've seen what he can do. He's extremely dangerous in hand to hand combat but even more dangerous with those throwing axes. I never saw him miss a mark whenever he threw one of those. He's one of the most feared people in this district, well known for just going berserk and destroying everyone in his way. Just last night I saw him effortlessly take down a group of careers at the academy after he once again went beserk. He's going to be strong, very strong, but then again I never expected these games to be a walk in the park.

"A volunteer, not surprising at all, what's your name?" Ralph asks.

"Barbel Beacher." he calmy say and only stands still looking ahead of him. Yeah he's calm right now, but how long before he's rushing at someone trying to kill them for no apparent reason? If he tries any of that on me, I'll make sure he quickly regrets it.

"Uh ok, you're definitely lacking some charisma but anyways, females next!" Ralph walks over to the females bowl and pulls out a name.

"Tazara Trine!" he calls.

"I volunteer!" I quickly shout as I make my way towards the stage.

"Is this going to be the first time we have two male tributes?" I hear a female behind me whisper but I ignore her and continue onto the stage.

"Once again, not surprising, whats your name?" he impatiently asks and I give him a slightly irritated look.

"Vendetta McClain, your next victor." I confidently say.

"Yeah, yeah that's what they all they, Heres our tributes representing district 4 this year, shake hands or not, don't really care." He says with a clear attitude now. I don't know what his problem is but I'll just ignore him.

Me and Barbel look at each other for a moment. We shake hands for a moment and he immediately pulls his hand away walks off towards the justice building.

I make sure to look at Maria who's still crossing her legs and looking right at me with that same smug look. Yeah enjoy your time while you can, you were all mine.

Here's our district 4 tributes Barbel Beacher and Vendetta McClain. Let me know how you feel about them. I'll be giving each district a reapings chapter. I'll then have another chapter showing all of their goodbyes and that's when i can start the pre games stuff like the train rides, recreational center, Chariot rides etc. Where there will likely be 4-6 povs per chapter. I got alot of stuff planned and I'm very excited. I still need some more tributes though so please do submit. You can look on my profile to see which tributes i still need. Leave a like,follow, review shoot me a pm or whatever. I should have the next chapter out fairly quickly as i expect to update this story daily or atleast every two days. Till next time!