"So Thorin doesn't suspect anyone for the arkenstone?"
"NO! JEEZ! I JUST SAID BILBO! But, if you must know who heeeeeeeeeeeeee rea'ly 'spects, ah reckon it be dem chillun."
"What's a demchillun?"
"Oh, honestly Lynn, you're so hopeful."
"Why, thank you."
"YOUR! welcome. Anyway, the children are Fili and Kili. I can't believe that he suspects his own nephews! That little-" Rachel proceeded to call Thorin very colorful names that shall not be printed down in this story or else the rating would have to be changed.
When Lynn had had enough with Rachel's tirade, she interjected sternly, "Rachel."
"What?" Rachel pouted. Then she caught herself in the mirror and decided to make faces.
"Cut Thorin some slack."
"No."
"Rachel, need I remind you of a certain someone who couldn't find her pants one morning."
"Yes?" Said Rachel, has she wiggled her nose back and forth in the mirror.
"And all she had on was her mega-oversized T-shirt that had AWESOMESAUCE! Written all over it."
"Yes...hey, I think ah steel 'ave dat shirt."
"And then she caught Reggie Thomas, the next door neighbor, looking at her through the window."
"Peeping TOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...MMMMMM!"
"He was not peeping Tom, Rache. He, like the rest of the neighbors, heard this someone screeching about how she couldn't find her pants and wanted to investigate."
"Fine."
"And then this Reggie Thomas called out, to this poor, distraught-over-missing-pants someone, "Are you having trouble finding your pants?"
"Ah tink ah may 'member dat."
"And this someone, called back, 'Reggie Thomas, how do you know about my pants? Did you steal them?'"
"Well, 'e might 'ave."
"Then poor, innocent Reggie Thomas called back, 'I didn't steal your pants, honest'!"
"'ow was ah 'sposed to know?"
"But then this someone called back, 'I don't believe you, Reggie Thomas!'"
"Well, ah didn't."
"And five minutes later, Reggie Thomas was being chased up and down the street by this admittedly slightly demented someone, who I might had was still wearing only her AWESOMESAUCE T-shirt-"
"Hey!"
"What, I call it as I see it. And this someone was screaming, " 'Where did you put my pants?! Admit it, you took them! Now give them back and NO ONE gets hurt!"
"That's perty much 'ow it went."
"And then, after this someone was dragged back to her house by her furious parents, she checked her closet-"
"Hmph." Grumbled Rachel.
"And lo and behold! There were her pants, exactly where she placed them the night before."
"Well, 'e was a suspect!"
"So were Fili and Kili. So the moral is, if you think someone stole your favorite pair of pants, check and see if it wasn't exactly where you placed it."
"But de Arkenstone wasn't where Thorin put it."
"Well, he did ask Bilbo to steal it."
"Oh, right. WELL IT'S STILL WRONG!"
"Reggie Thomas changed neighborhoods two months later."
"Still." Muttered Rachel, who was a great fan of Fili and Kili.