Author's note: Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Nope.

Chapter 14

Rey tried to keep her face neutral as she and Poe stepped onto the ice. After more than a year and a half of hard work, they were taking the first real step toward the Olympics. They landed in Philadelphia the night before for the Regionals; Leia wanted them to practice at their home rink for as long as possible. The competition was a couple of days in; the singles portion had already begun. Rey and Poe joined a dozen other hopefuls on the ice; the top five couples would move on to the Pairs Finals next month.

No pressure or anything.

"You alright?" Poe asked.

She snapped back to the present. "Yeah, I'm good." She looked around. "Are there always so many?"

"Yeah. You'll get used to it."

There were too many other pairs practicing for them to go through their entire short program, so they stuck to the trouble spots. Or, at least, they tried to. After about ten minutes, some of the other skaters realized just who was on the ice. They started coming up to Poe, pretending to be surprised that he'd come out of retirement. Poe hadn't needed to compete at this level in a long time, but since he'd retired then come back, he'd burned any byes. He'd have to earn his way in, just like anyone else.

He had to admit that was humbling.

Still, he knew he and Rey were a good team. Certainly better than anyone else on the ice, judging from what he could see. Of course, they would only know once they'd competed. If they'd done all this work only to fail…no, Poe refused to think like that. They were going to make it through the next two days and move forward.

Failure was not an option.

Poe was glad they wouldn't see Jannah at this competition. If they were lucky, they wouldn't see his old partner until Nationals. He heard she'd found a new partner, Finn Trooper. He was supposed to be good. They'd come in second at Nationals last year. An Olympic year always brought more out of people; the competition could be cutthroat and fierce. He hoped Rey was up to it.

Leia waved them over to the boards. "Rey, I want some more extension on those spins, just like we practiced, okay?" Rey nodded. "Poe, I'm relying on you to show her the ropes. You two are going to be great."

When they skated back to their section of the ice, Poe saw Rey muttering to herself. Poe laid his hand on her arm. "Still with me?"

"What? Oh, yeah." She looked around. "It's stupid."

"Tell me anyway."

"Promise you won't laugh?" Poe nodded, really curious now. "We've been alone in our rink for so long…"

"That's it's going to be weird performing in front of all these people?" he finished. Rey nodded. Poe looked her in the eye. "I won't say anything cliché like they'll all fade away, or picture them naked." Rey snorted. He grinned. "You played games in front of thousands of people, right?"

"Yeah. But that's different."

"Is it? Did you ever feed off that energy? Let it drive you?"

Rey's hazel eyes lit up. "Actually, yeah."

"We're ready for this, Rey. You're ready for this."

"Would you tell me if I wasn't?"

Poe gave her a look. "Have you met me?"

She laughed. "Good point."

They made it through the rest of the practice without incident. They weren't due to perform for a few more hours, so they returned to the hotel. Poe fell easily into his pre-performance routine, bedding down for a nap. He wondered if Rey was doing the same down the hall. He could tell she was nervous. Hell, he was a little nervous. He hated to admit it, but it was true. He'd been competing since he was a kid, but everything about this was different. Poe was different.

For the first time, he had a partner he trusted completely.

Rey tossed and turned, punching her pillow. She was supposed to be resting, but she was too wired. They were less than a handful of hours away from competing in front of hundreds—possibly thousands—of people. Poe was right; Rey had played in high-pressure games. Lots of times. This felt different. What if she wasn't good enough? What if they failed?

There would be no second chance.

She couldn't be negative. She worked her ass off to get here; they could go all the way. She couldn't let Poe down, regardless of how much being around him slowly chipped away at her heart. She'd cut back on the time they spent together outside the rink, out of sheer self-preservation. They still had movie nights; they still played those games of hockey on their breaks. But she started begging off meals together or playing board games. Being around him like that was getting to be too painful.

Fortunately, she could use the excuse of being exhausted from training, which Poe seemed to accept. He still looked at her funny sometimes, almost like he could see right through her. He could never know the truth of how she felt; she didn't want things to become awkward between them. They had too much left to do.

After an hour or so, she gave up trying to sleep. Instead, she ran through their short program through her head repeatedly, just to make sure she had it down perfectly. It was a bit like learning scoring plays in hockey; only over two and a half minutes rather than thirty seconds or a minute. That helped relax her; she finally did manage to fall asleep for forty-five minutes or so. When her alarm blared, she switched it off and rolled out of bed. She changed from pajamas to a business suit for the ride back to the rink.

It was now or never.

Poe was already in the backstage area when she finished changing. He nodded at her when she appeared; she joined him in doing her stretches. Leia and Sabine hovered nearby, keeping an eye on the competition. Rey was grateful for Sabine's presence; as much as she appreciated everything Leia did for her, Rey relied on Sabine to help her with the more artistic aspects of their program. She still wasn't entirely comfortable expressing herself that way.

Her stomach clenched; Rey breathed through it. She was not going to give in to her nerves. She wasn't. Besides, Poe would just make fun of her and she didn't need that. She'd just push through it.

They practiced a couple of their lifts; they did nothing for Rey's suddenly roiling belly. She struggled to breathe; Poe seemed to be lost in his own world. He didn't look nervous though. She saw him pat the pocket of his costume; he muttered something to himself. Rey just started pacing, trying to get her rebellious stomach under control.

The skating coordinator called them to the boards; they went on next. Poe handed Leia his jacket; she hugged him. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"I have faith in you. If you two have faith in each other, everything will be fine."

He watched as the pair before them finished up their program. He said a silent prayer to Shara, just like he always did. Then he looked for Rey.

He expected her to be right beside him, but she was still hanging back in the wings. She looked green. She took a deep breath and walked slowly toward him. "You look nervous," he said. "You look really nervous." Rey swayed on her skates; Poe caught her arms before she could fall. "How nervous are you?" Her color got worse; she looked like she was going to vomit. "How nervous are you?" Just like that, she jerked out of his arms, dashed for the curtain, and promptly puked all over the floor.

Fucking hell.

Rey vomited up whatever was in her stomach; the acrid scent of stomach acid permeated the air. Poe groaned inwardly. This was bad. She'd never mentioned anything like this! Why wouldn't she mention that she got sick? She came back a moment later just as the previous pair left the ice. "I feel better."

"What is wrong with you?" Poe demanded, trying not to panic.

"I always get tight before a game." She thought that perhaps it had gone away with the change in sports, but no such luck. Poe continued to stare at her in disbelief. "Let me put it this way. When I played hockey, I had two helmets, one for the game and one for just before."

Poe wrinkled his nose. "This is just coming up now?"

"Bad choice of words."

"I don't believe this." He put on a false high voice. "'I'm fine. No problem. Don't sweat it.'" He needed to get a handle on this before they went out there or all of this would be for nothing. He grasped Rey's shoulders and forced her to face him.

One of the production assistants picked that instant to walk up. "Miss Kenobi, Mr. Dameron, you're on."

Poe ignored him. He gave Rey a little shake. "Look at my eyes, look at my eyes." Rey swayed and focused; her hazel eyes boring into his. "That's good. Okay, now smile." Her breathing stuttered and not in a good way. "Concentrate on my forehead." Her eyes flickered to his forehead, but she still looked a little green. "Okay, now look at me and smile." Poe loved her smile; he'd feel a lot better about this if she smiled at him. Her lips quirked up a fraction. "There you go. Now bigger." Rey started to relax in his arms. "Much better. Now breathe." She took a deep breath; foul-smelling air hit him in the face. "Just don't breathe on me, okay?"

"Look, it goes away," Rey said, finally able to stand on her own. "The worst it ever was I went out and scored six goals in the first two periods."

The arena announcer's voice came over the loudspeaker. "Next to skate, Rey Kenobi and Poe Dameron."

The production assistant all but pleaded with them to get out on the ice, but Poe turned to Rey. "So, you're saying that once we get out there, everything will be fine?" God, please let everything be fine, he thought.

"It usually only took me about ten minutes to relax."

"Our program is two and a half minutes!" Poe screeched.

"So, eight minutes after we finish, I'll be fine."

They were so screwed.

They skated hand in hand toward center ice. Rey's stomach still felt a little queasy, but she focused on Poe. She needed to do this. Not just for him, but for herself. For Leia and Sabine and Kes. She and Poe faced each other, eye to eye. He looked calm, serious, and composed. She looked into those dark eyes that haunted her dreams as the first strains of Ed Sheeran's "Thinking Out Loud" started to play. Poe shot her a little smirk just before they pushed off—that more than anything else finally calmed her.

They were right back at their rink. They moved in perfect sync, just like they'd done hundreds of times before. The lights over the crowd were dimmed; spectators were a blur as they glided and spun across the ice. Rey took refuge in Poe's sure hold as they performed the first lift. They followed it quickly with their first jump, side by side toe loops. When they both landed them cleanly—just like they'd done for weeks in practice—Rey's smile was so big her cheeks hurt.

The crowd got into it, cheering every time they completed an element. The short program had moves that were compulsory—everyone had to complete them. The artistic element was up to the performers. Rey's skirt skimmed the ice as Poe lowered her into a death spiral; she could see the ceiling swirling above her. Her nerves were completely gone now; they'd done this hundreds of times. This was easy.

Those two and a half minutes flew by; Rey could hardly believe it when the music ended. She flinched ever so slightly in her final stance, her heart pounding in her chest. They'd done it. They'd survived the first hurdle.

Poe grabbed her hand and led her off the ice; Rey might have stayed there all night if he hadn't. She felt amazing. A few catches of flowers hit the ice; little girls went out and gathered them up. Poe led Rey into the box while they awaited their scores.

"How do you think we did?" Rey asked.

"Pretty good," Poe replied. "Though you had a little wobble."

"I didn't fall," she snapped.

"That's not what I said!" They continued to bicker until the scores came up. There were scores for technical elements and artistic elements. Poe hated this part. He was already running the program through in his head, looking for areas they could improve. Rey still had trouble with her extensions; they slightly flubbed on one catch. Relatively minor things, but judges could be harsh. He wasn't sure he'd prepared Rey adequately for that.

"For technical elements…5.7, 5.4, 5.5, 5.7, 5.8, 5.6…"

"Those sound good!" Rey cried.

"Yeah," Poe replied, pleasantly surprised. But then again, they'd worked hard to put together a program that was technically difficult. That was the only way to get into the Olympics. The artistic scores were next. As Poe expected, those were not quite as good. Down in the lower 5 range. Still, that put them solidly in the top five for the night.

Leia met them as they left the box. "Absolutely wonderful," she said, hugging them both. "I am so proud of you!"

"But our scores…" Rey said, biting her lip.

"There's no accounting for taste. Besides, you'll be just as incredible tomorrow."

Rey shared a look with Poe; she couldn't read his face. He didn't look upset, more like…drained. She understood how that felt. The adrenaline was starting to wear off. As the next couple went out to skate, Leia handed them the guards for their skates, so they could get back into the changing rooms.

Thirty minutes later, they were showered and changed. Kes met them in the lobby of the arena; a car took them all back to the hotel. Sabine complained about the judges the entire time, like their scores were a personal affront to her as an artist. That made Rey smile. At least one person thought the subjective part of this sport was a tad ridiculous.

"You should both get some sleep," Leia said firmly when they reached the hotel. "I want you well rested for tomorrow."

"You have both made me proud," Kes said, squeezing Poe's shoulder. "Now let's go get 'em tomorrow!"

"Sorry about him," Poe murmured as his father, Leia and Sabine walked away. "He can be a little…you know."

"I actually did notice that. But he's here, Poe. That means something, right?"

Poe nodded, adjusting his bag on his shoulder. "Yeah, it does." He started to open his door, then he turned to Rey. "You did really well, Rey. I know just how terrifying your first competition can be, but you got through it."

"Despite the nerves and the vomiting?"

"Is that gonna keep happening?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe we should invest in barf bags like they have on planes."

Poe laughed. "I'll see what we can do." Their eyes caught and held for a long beat. "Uh, good night, Rey."

"Good night, Poe."

Twenty-four hours later, Rey stood beside Poe at the boards, waiting to go on. She was nauseous again, but this time, Poe held her hand the entire time. They did breathing exercises together, which kept her relatively calm. She didn't puke, though that might have been because it had been a while since she ate.

Their long program was four minutes. They had a lot more artistic freedom on this one, but Rey wasn't sure that was a good thing. Whenever she felt her nerves creep up on her, she looked into Poe's eyes; he was steady and solid beside her.

Poe kept her hand in his as they skated to center ice. This program was far more intimate than their short. He hadn't questioned it much when they first choreographed it; he'd done this kind of thing before. But no other partner made him feel the way Rey did. She was sunshine and joy; he just wanted to keep her near him.

He'd felt her pulling away the last few weeks. He wasn't sure why; he was too afraid to ask. Too afraid of the answer. Every day they spent together was a day closer to their goal. It was also a day closer to Rey walking out of his life for good. He supposed he should have been glad that she was putting some distance between them. It should have made the end of their partnership easier, amicable even.

Instead, he missed her.

He missed her laugh. He missed her stupid hockey metaphors. He missed the way she looked at skating, like an adventure rather than a job. She'd made him better, but soon, she would be gone.

Poe pushed all that out of his head as they performed. There wasn't a place for negativity on the ice. Rey was here with him now; he wanted to remember every moment of this. Every time their eyes locked, he found something to hang on to, something to remember. When she smiled that dazzling happy smile, he returned it, pure joy surging in his chest. Skating had never felt like this; he knew it never would again. Not without her.

As the final notes of "Give Me Love" echoed in the arena, Rey ended the program exactly where she started it, in Poe's arms. The applause was loud and enthusiastic, but Poe only saw her.

Why did she suddenly look so sad?

Rey looked away first, breaking the moment. They skated off the ice together; Leia was waiting for them. She was filled with praise and more hugs; Poe had to give himself a little shake to reconnect with reality.

Their technical scores were about the same as their short, but the artistic ones were much better. They hovered around a 5.7, which together with the other scores, was more than enough to get them to the Pairs Finals.

Rey looked at Poe with wide eyes. There were only two pairs left to skate, but they were both near the bottom of the standings. "Does that mean we did it?"

"You're damn right it does!" Poe threw decorum to the wind and hugged her. She was a little chilly from sitting in the booth for so long; he rubbed her back. "We did it."

Rey hugged him back, both elated and heartsore. A tear slid down her cheek as she breathed him in. She didn't want to be sad when she should be thrilled, but this was a special kind of torture. When they were on the ice together, it felt like they were the only two people in the world. Sometimes the way he looked at her made her wonder…but no. He was just good at pretending when they were performing. Which was the point. She couldn't twist their friendship into something it wasn't.

Even though it hurt, she really did want him to be happy.

"Maybe those judges aren't as blind as I thought," Sabine said on the drive back to the hotel.

"Do you think we need to tweak things for the Finals?" Poe asked.

Sabine looked thoughtful. "No, I think it all comes down to execution. We'll have you ready, Poe, never fear."

"You better," Kes said. "They're going to need to do better if they want to finish in the top two at Nationals."

While Poe knew his dad was right, did he have to say it like that? They were fresh off their first competition as a pair; Rey didn't need to be told just how close they were to failure in Kes' eyes. Where did the enthusiastic father from the day before go?

As they walked back to their rooms, Kes called after his son. "Poe, Zorii wants you to call. She wanted to congratulate you."

Poe nodded, tired and far less enthusiastic. "Alright, Dad." He knew the real reason Zorii wanted him to call. She'd promised to come for the Pairs Final if they made it that far. She wanted to know if she needed to rearrange her life to support him. Poe saw Rey walking away. "Rey, wait."

She turned, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. "Yeah?"

"Don't listen to anything Dad said," he advised. "You were really good tonight."

"We were good," she corrected with a wry smile.

He smiled back. "Okay, we were good."

"Back to work tomorrow?"

"They might give us a little time off," he teased.

"Kes wouldn't approve."

"Until he's the one strapping on skates, I think his vote doesn't count."

She laughed; Poe felt the tightness in his chest ease. "Good night, Poe."

"Good night, Rey."