Author's note: We're still heavily on the angst train, people. Strap in.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Chapter 17

The moment their long program ended, the crowd erupted in cheers. Poe shared a look with Rey; she knew the same thing he did. They'd skated as close to perfection as they could. Poe just knew they were going to the Olympics. There was no way anyone could have skated better than they did. They left the ice hand in hand; once again, Leia was waiting. She hugged them both as they slipped into the booth to get their scores. Little girls skated up with just some of the bouquets of flowers that were tossed onto the ice.

Rey's heart was still pounding; there was just something electric about their time on the ice. "We did it, Rey," Poe whispered, his lips brushing her cheek. "I just know we did." She blinked at him, confused; her skin still tingled from where he kissed her. She opened her mouth to say…something, but then their scores started to roll in.

"5.4, 5.4, 5.6, 5.7, 5.4…" The crowd booed loudly, clearly unhappy with the scores.

Rey's jaw dropped, flabbergasted. What? Those scores couldn't be right! She looked at Poe, who seemed just as confused as she did. How could this be? The artistic ones were about the same; if nothing changed, they'd end up third, just shy of the Olympics.

This could not be happening.

Rey got up and stalked off, anger boiling through her. Almost two years of hard work for nothing? She couldn't believe it! How could this happen? They worked so hard! She heard Leia and Poe on her heels, but she ignored them. "This is horseshit!" she cried, thrashing her flowers against the pole. "We skated our asses off out there! You call this a sport?" God, she'd never missed hockey more than she did in that moment. At least in hockey, you could prove yourself directly against the other team. There was none of this subjective artistic bullshit. No one could play favorites.

Poe watched her meltdown in stunned silence. He was just as angry, but even more than that, he was terrified. They'd come up short. This grand experiment was over. He could feel her slipping away and it gutted him. Leia stepped forward to intervene, but Poe held her back. "Might be better if I go. Even if she rips my head off, it can't hurt more than this."

Rey hadn't gone far; she was in one of the shadowed corners, her shoulders hunched over. She looked utterly defeated; it broke Poe's heart. It was like all her light was gone. Even worse, there was nothing he could say that would make it better. He could hear the Solo twins' performance on one of the TVs behind him, but it didn't matter. Tentatively, he laid a hand on her shoulder. "Rey…"

She sniffed, turning abruptly so he wouldn't see her crying. The last thing she needed was his pity. God, he must be so angry at her; she'd let him down. "Don't," she breathed. "God, Poe, just don't. I don't want to fight."

"You think I want to fight?"

Surprised, she turned to face him. "But we failed," she said, confused. "I let you down…"

He grasped her shoulders gently. "Rey, none of this is your fault. It's no one's fault, except…" His words got drowned out by a huge gasp and groan from the crowd. Poe and Rey dashed for the nearest TV, which was showing the replay. The Solo twins were in ridiculous looking German outfits and they got tangled together! The pair went crashing to the ice. By the time they got untangled and continued, it was too late. The damage was done. Poe looked up to find Leia standing nearby, a grim smile on her face.

"We are in," their coach announced, confirming what Poe already suspected. With that fall, there was no way the twins could reach the number two spot. He and Rey were going to the Olympics!

"We did it?" Rey gasped in disbelief.

"We did it," Poe confirmed.

"Yes!" Rey screamed. She kissed Poe's cheek and started hopping around and pumping her fist. "We're going to South Korea! We're going to the Olympics!"

Poe shook his head in shock. While this wasn't his preferred way of getting in, it didn't matter. They'd done it. He got more time with Rey. That was all he could think about.

Three hours later, after all the press and medals were awarded, Poe and Rey met at the hotel's club. Loud music thumped through the speakers; less than ten feet away, people danced the night away. When Rey suggested they celebrate, this wasn't quite what she had in mind, but if Poe wanted to party, then she wasn't going to say no. The bartender looked at them expectantly, waiting for them to order. "You sure about this?" Rey asked.

Poe nodded. "Whatever you're having."

Rey nodded at the bartender. She got out two shot glasses, another glass filled with lime wedges and some salt. Both shot glasses were filled to the brim. Rey pulled the sleeve of her sweater back a little and licked her wrist. Poe's eyes flew slightly wide as he watched her; she smirked as she sprinkled some salt on the wet spot. She licked that off too, then promptly downed her shot. The tequila burned down her throat, but it felt good. She finished off the process with the lime, the juice soothing the burn just right. "Now you try."

Poe swallowed, but he squared his shoulders. Rey wasn't sure tequila shots were the best way to introduce him to drinking, but she would make sure he didn't get into trouble. He rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt; Rey sucked in a shallow breath. She wet her lips as she watched him mimic her, licking his wrist, sprinkling it with salt, then licking it again. His face scrunched adorably at the bitter salt; Rey laughed. Then he picked up the shot and downed it. His eyes bulged, clearly surprised by the taste. But he was a trooper, grabbing the lime and biting down.

God, she needed to stop staring at his neck.

Poe shook his head a little, the burn of the tequila still fresh. But he didn't…hate it? Truthfully, he was more interested in Rey's reaction. "Let's do another one."

"Okay." They repeated the process; Poe smiled to himself. He could feel her eyes on him, studying him in a way she never had before. At least not that he'd let himself think about before. But everything was new and exciting; he was determined to make this feeling last.

He grabbed her hand. "Dance with me?"

"Uh, sure. Why not?" He didn't let go of her as they stepped into the crowd of people. The music was loud; he felt the bass in his chest. He already felt a little buzzed from the tequila, loose and free in a way he'd never experienced. He liked it. The music was some techno garbage he'd never heard, but it had a beat and that was all he needed.

Rey practically gaped at her usually reserved partner as he danced to the music. Holy shit. She had no idea he could dance like that! Hips rolling and gyrating, footwork quick and effortless. He moved with his whole body and she was transfixed. He caught her staring and shot her a downright filthy smirk. Who was this and what had he done with Poe Dameron?!

They danced until they got thirsty; there was an audible groan from the crowd when they left the dance floor. Rey just shrugged; Poe hadn't so much as looked at anyone but her all night. She felt slightly guilty. As far as she knew he was still engaged to someone else. But how could Zorii be in the picture if he looked at her like that?

More tequila shots led to more dancing. Rey let herself relax; they could talk later. This was a celebration! This time, she wanted to show she could keep up with him. A bit more liquid courage melted her shyness; this time when he took her hand, she didn't hesitate. Poe spun her around and drew her back against his chest. He kept his arms crossed around her waist; his breath was hot on her neck. Rey bit her lip as his hips rolled into hers…god, this was her fantasy come to life! Poe was warm and real against her back; a very large bulge ground against her ass.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

Poe felt like he was burning from the inside out. Rey was soft in his arms, moving with him in perfect sync. Like she was supposed to be his. He didn't hide how she affected him; he'd run from his desire for her for too long. "Rey…"

Before she could respond, the song changed. Gone was the hard-driving beat; this was slower, smoother. Poe took her hand and spun her around again; her smile knocked the wind out of him. God, she seemed happy. Overjoyed to be there with him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, snuggling close as they swayed to the music.

There was nothing he wouldn't do to keep the smile on her face.

They went back for more shots, then more dancing. With each successive round of drinks, Poe's head grew fuzzier. Rey was always there, with a smile and quip, but as the hours passed, she drank less. Her gaze went from happy to watchful like she was keeping him out of trouble. But how much trouble could he get into when he felt this amazing? Why had he avoided feeling like this for so long?

There was a line of empty shot glasses sitting on the bar; Rey's eyes bulged at how much Poe had. How had he not puked yet? She knew her limits and slowed down; one of them needed to stay coherent. She looked at her phone; it was almost two in the morning! "Alright, flyboy, I think it's time we called it a night."

"Aw, come on, Rey!" Poe cried, going back out onto the dance floor. Rey followed him obediently, but more to make sure he didn't fall and hurt himself. She'd never seen him like this before. At first, it was cute. And hot. She could still feel him grinding against her ass. But now, his movements were slow and sloppy and drunken. He got a little too enthusiastic and fell on his ass.

"Now can we go?" Rey said as she helped him up.

"If you insist," he slurred.

Rey slipped her arm around his waist; he followed suit. She had them charge their considerable tab to her room; Kes would pay it in the morning when they checked out. The noise level dropped considerably once they were in the corridor; Rey could finally hear herself think. She and Poe slowly made their way to the elevator. "You're really beautiful," he said. His feet stumbled; Rey tightened her grip.

"You're drunk," she replied, her cheeks heating.

"Don't need to be drunk to see that."

She ignored him; they were close to the elevator. She pressed the button and waited. Poe leaned his head on her shoulder, giggling to himself. She was getting him some water the moment they got to his room. They shuffled into the elevator; thankfully, it was empty. Poe was really unsteady on his feet; she half carried and half dragged him to his room. She had to fish in his pockets for his room key; she hoped he'd forgive her when he was sober. Finally, she got the room unlocked and shuffled them inside.

"Alright, we're here," she said as she sat him down on the edge of the bed.

"Why is the room spinning?" Poe asked.

That was her cue to get him some water. "Hang tight for just a second, okay?" She looked around, finding a water pitcher and glasses on the side table. She poured him some and took it back. "Here, drink this."

Poe sipped at the water slowly. He fought the urge to just flop back on the bed, watching as Rey knelt down and removed his shoes and socks. Her fingertips grazed the soles of his feet; he jerked them away, a giggle caught in his throat. "Watch it!"

She grinned. "Someone's ticklish."

"Am not!"

"Are too!" She tickled his feet again; Poe roared with laughter. He squirmed and rolled, trying to get away from her; water sloshed all over his shirt.

"Oops, sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Their eyes caught and held for a long beat; Rey straightened and took the glass from him.

"You need more water or you're going to have a raging hangover."

"Maybe I'd rather dance."

She smiled indulgently. "I don't think so."

Poe flopped down on the bed. "Ugh, don't think, Rey! That's what I like about the way I feel! Even if I tried to think, I couldn't. And I think too much, and I think so long…and it's so tiring." Rey returned with another glass; Poe drank some water obediently. He looked her up and down; she was so cute in those snug jeans and white sweater. "Did you ever play with magnets?"

"Huh?"

"Magnets." Suddenly, this was very important for him to say. "You used to have to push 'em around and they'd push away, and you push 'em around the table." He took another sip of water. "All you had to do was…flip them over, and suddenly…" He saw her eyes widen as she caught on. "Don't you see? That's why everything's been so awful. All we needed was a little flip."

Rey swallowed. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? Then she remembered a very important detail. "Wait, what about Zorii?"

Poe scowled. "What about her? Our engagement is off. We're through."

She could hardly believe her ears. Poe and Zorii broke up? It was everything she wanted to hear, but—she hated herself for even thinking this—was he just using her because he was heartbroken? Before she could reply, Poe stood on unsteady legs. Rey backed up. She wanted him, but not like this. This was all wrong. "Come on, not like this, Poe."

"Not like what? Not like me?" He threw his arms around her; Rey steadied him before they both fell.

"Poe, you're bombed."

"What do you mean?"

She shuffled them back until Poe was sitting on the bed again. "It means it's time to go to bed."

Poe shoved her away, angry. "God, that is the last thing I need! Someone else telling me what to do!" Kes, Leia, Zorii…they all demanded things from him. He thought Rey was different. "In case you missed it, I'm trying to seduce you, and you're giving me a rundown of drinking do's and don't's!" He scowled. "I get enough coaching on the ice. Get out." He couldn't stand to look at her; how could he have been so wrong about her?

"Poe, you've got this all wrong…"

"Do I ever. Excuse my surprise, but what a disappointment."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, look at you! God's gift to reckless abandon, revealed to be nothing more than a prude in wolf's clothing!"

Rey sucked in a deep breath as her heart shattered. Sure, Poe was drunk, but he still knew just how to hurt her. "You're a lousy drunk."

Poe watched her walk away. "And you're a lousy date!"

Rey tried one last time. "It didn't have to be like this," she said, holding back tears.

"I said get out!" The moment the door closed Poe crumpled on the bed. The room was spinning again; his head throbbed. He groaned, but that was a mistake. His stomach promptly rebelled and he made a dash for the bathroom. He barely got the toilet seat up before every drop of tequila came back up.

He'd royally fucked up this time.

Rey flopped down on her bed, wondering how the night had gone so wrong. She'd been so happy a few hours ago. Poe being drunk wasn't an excuse, but she should have tried to cut him off earlier. She let herself be distracted by how good he made her feel. For the first time, she thought he might want her the same way she did him. The way they danced together…she punched her pillow in frustration. The problem wasn't just that she wanted him. She loved the bastard for some reason. She loved her Poe; that wasn't who she was with tonight. She didn't want their first time to be some drunken hook up he regretted. Especially right after he broke up with Zorii. It was just wrong.

She loved him too much to do that to them.

A knock roused her. She didn't want to answer it, but she did anyway. Finn stood on the other side, looking concerned. "Sorry, I heard a door slam, then I saw you walking down the hall. Are you alright?"

Rey sighed. "Actually, no. No, I'm not."

Finn looked sympathetic. "Need a friend?"

"That would be nice." She backed up to let him in. Finn settled in one of the chairs while Rey raided her minifridge. Kes was paying, so why not? "I hope you like…" She held up the bottle. "Jack Daniels?"

"Are you sure you should be drinking?"

"If I'm going to tell this story, I need booze." She handed him one of the little bottles and sat cross-legged on her bed. They clinked the bottles and took a sip. Finn was quiet, letting Rey open up at her own pace. She was nice; he thought she deserved better than that Dameron guy.

"This is about Poe, I gather?"

"That obvious?"

"I saw you two down at the club earlier."

"Oh." She sighed. "Yeah, it's him. It's always him." In fits and starts the story came out, how they met, their training adventures, Rey's crush. Every time she talked about how sweet Poe could be, she got choked up; she loved that Poe so dearly. It shocked her how strong her feelings were for him. Just when she thought he might love her too, it all blew up in her face.

"Man, you've really got it bad."

She laughed dryly. "Unfortunately, yeah. I've tried to move past it, but I can't. And now this…"

"If he's smart, he'll be here in the morning to apologize."

"Maybe." She didn't want to let herself hope.

Poe felt like he'd been hit by a truck. His head ached; bright lights made him queasy. He'd puked twice more in the night until there was nothing left in his stomach. Was this what being hungover felt like? Ugh. He definitely never wanted to feel like this again. Poe scrubbed his hand over his face; his stubble was like a Brillo pad across his palm. Fuck. He smelled like a brewery! He needed a shower, a shave, and coffee. A lot of coffee. And some aspirin.

He showered in the dark, fumbling with the tap and soap. Still, he managed to get himself clean. Shaving in the dark proved harder; he solved that riddle by putting sunglasses on when he turned on the lights. That helped. While he made himself human again, he thought about Rey. He didn't remember a lot of what happened the night before, but he remembered her leaving. He remembered the feel of her in his arms. He wasn't sure what happened, but he was sure it was his fault. He was still learning to navigate these feelings; he'd never felt like this. It was a terrible thing to say, but in all those years with Zorii, he never felt like this. It was painful and exciting, all at the same time.

He hoped he hadn't fucked it up beyond repair.

Poe got dressed and headed for the door. There was a coffeemaker in his room, but he didn't trust himself to make it. He needed real coffee. He left the room with sunglasses perched on his nose. He squinted against the light; his head pounded harder. "Ow."

Then the door clicked shut.

Poe opened his eyes in panic. Did he have his key? He tried the handle; it wouldn't budge. He fumbled in his pockets for the keycard; it was nowhere to be found. He cursed under his breath. "Shit."

He'd just have to go to the front desk and get a new one. After coffee. After he apologized to Rey. He wasn't sure what he needed to apologize for, but he would apologize anyway. Her room was just past the elevator; he might as well get it over with. Maybe then they could get coffee together and talk. Yes, that would be nice.

He took a deep breath and knocked on her door. Then he knocked again.

But it wasn't Rey who answered.

"You look like hell, Dameron."

Finn? What the hell was he doing in Rey's room? Was this Rey's room or was his hangover getting to him? "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong room."

"Hey. Is that breakfast? I'm starving."

Poe had only gotten a step; he leaned back and lowered his sunglasses. There was Rey in her cute comic book pajamas…looking just as stunned as he felt. Poe felt like he'd been punched in the gut. This was Rey's room. And she was with Finn.

Christ, he'd never felt so stupid in all his life.

Rey saw Poe take off; she pushed past Finn and ran after him. God only knew what he was thinking. "Poe! Poe! God damn it, Poe! Wait!"

Poe ran into the elevator; Rey slid in right behind him. "Don't. Don't even try it," he snapped. "Just looking at you makes me sick." She hadn't even let him apologize before hooking up with Finn Trooper of all people. He was gutted; his heart shattered into a thousand jagged pieces. "I was coming to apologize but looks like I was too late."

Did he think she had sex with Finn? She almost told him the truth, but she was so upset by the insinuation that a dark corner of her heart wanted to make him pay for the way she'd felt when he was with Zorii. "Were you or were you not engaged to be married until last night?" she demanded.

"That's hardly the point."

"You threw me out of your room!"

Poe yanked off his sunglasses. "Spare me the details."

"Where the hell do you get off?" she yelled.

"Me?"

Rey put her hands on her hips. "This is my fault? From the day I enter your rink, you treat me like a hired hand! One night you get drunk and I'm supposed to roll over and thank my lucky stars?! I'm sorry. I don't downshift that fast!" How had this all gone so horribly, horribly wrong? Why were they doing this to each other?

Poe couldn't hear anymore. The elevator dinged and opened. "Get out of my way."

Rey moved. "No problem." Poe pushed past her and into the lobby. "I've been practicing that move for over a year and a half!" Over a dozen business types were staring at her; she realized belatedly she was still in her pajamas. She flushed. "Blind date."

How the hell were they going to compete at the Olympics like this?