Trying to keep up with a mid week post and either two or three at a weekend. So heres the second for this weekend. hope you are enjoying it. it'll be the last day soon!...

...

Sunday 14th April 0222.

21 hours and 18 minutes until iceberg.

24 hours until the Titanic sinks.

...

Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Be not alarmed madam, I shall not renew sentiments that seem so unwelcome to you. I must, however, be allowed to defend myself against the charges levelled at me and I ask it of your charity to allow me the time to do so. My claim that your rejection was on the basis of a poor choice of words might not be true, however my words were poorly expressed and, through no fault of yours, completely misunderstood. I have never been celebrated as an eloquent speaker and am often told I am brutally honest, a quality which serves me well in my business dealings but poorly in my personal life. Up until tonight I have never been taught a lesson of how much I could come to regret speaking in this manner. You can be assured your lesson will be harsh indeed.

I have known Mr Bingley for many years as he came to England to study at Cambridge and stayed to work with me. I have often seen him fall in love and I see him fall out again almost as quickly. I could see he preferred your sister and did not think anything of it until I overheard your mother speculating on their forthcoming marriage. I had not considered that he might be raising expectations and so decided to watch them carefully. His interest was clear but I could not ascertain that she was anything more than mildly interested in him. I did not wish for him to find himself honour bound to a lady who was not partial to him, and whom he might lose interest in as he had previously, and so persuaded him to remove himself from her side to review his own feelings. I admit that I kept him otherwise entertained all day, my fear of his attachment led me to act to keep him otherwise engaged.

If I was mistaken in Miss Jane's feelings; I am sorry. I do not know how my friend feels tonight but if his interest has waned already I assume you will feel that he is unworthy of your sister. We have a few more days of the voyage and I am certain that, no matter who intervened, they would see each other again.

With regards to the more weighty matters of my sister and Mr Wickham, whose stories are regrettably entwined, I can only lay before you the whole of his history with my family. Mr Wickham senior was to my father a bit like Mr Collins is to Lady Catherine. Although the resemblance ends there. Mr Wickham was a genial, clever and respectable gentleman and my father trusted him with much of the running of his companies, estates and personal life. Young Mr Wickham, who is only two years my junior, was given the same educational opportunities that I was, at the insistence of my father, but it has been many years since I realised that his behaviour is neither that of a respectable or trustworthy man. At school and university he left a trail of debts and dishonour in his wake.

My father died the year after I had graduated and Wickham was supposedly in his final year at Cambridge. It became apparent that he did not have enough credits to pass his degree. The university suggested an extension but Mr Wickham declined and asked for the funds directly instead. I agreed and even gave him over the value as his lack of degree would mean he was ineligible for the position my father had hoped he would take in the company. A year later he applied for more money, which I declined, but I did offer him an internship. Within a month his supervisor came to me claiming dishonourable conduct and poor attitude, particularly towards the female members of my staff. I supported his dismissal in light of the evidence before me.

About a month later I found out he had used his position at work to gain access to my sister and had begun a correspondence with her and then started to meet her. His object was to persuade her she was in love and to convince her to elope. She met with him freely at first but when I found out I told her of his past and she tried to cut off contact. He responded by attempting to abduct her by force from our home, which he knew well. Her physical injuries were minor, although certainly bad enough that she had any, but her unseen injuries are still causing her pain.

Georgiana, who was always shy, has become exceedingly anxious in the wake of Wickham's despicable actions. We have managed as best we could in England but the surroundings, being familiar, seem to make her worse. I have postponed my trip to America twice whilst she was recovering but she insisted that a change might help and so wished to accompany me. Unfortunately her anxious episodes have only just started to improve. I do not know what you have heard or witnessed but I assure you my only intentions towards her are to calm her down and keep her happy in the hopes that she will overcome her fears in time.

I share this only to try to impact you fully with the nature of Mr Wickham, he is not a man to be trusted. I cannot imagine what he was hoping to gain by telling you stories, but maybe sympathy from a lady of first class was enough of an inducement. I cannot see how he would have known of my feelings for you, although that would certainly drive him to spin you false tales.

I hope this recitation acquits me of cruelty towards him. Mr Bingley knows most of the particulars of his time at Cambridge and his brief work for my company, and so could corroborate that part of the story. I am afraid the only one who can verify the part with my sister is herself, but I beg you not to ask it of her. She is unaware of Mr Wickham's passage on board and I am hopeful it will stay that way. Such mischance that should put both him and me aboard. I could barely credit it.

Finally, I wish to apologise for my intemperate words and, what I now realise, was a precipitous proposal. I know that we do not know each other well, my feeling were so strong and I could not think of anyone who would be more perfect in mine and Georgiana's lives. I was not thinking clearly and had become worried about our impending separation in America. I realise now that I had not thought matters through fully, mostly consideration of your feelings had not occurred to me. I hope you can forgive me.

I believe the hour is late and I must hope to get this to you in a way that allows you privacy to read it. I must only add, god bless you and the best of luck in your very ambitious aims in America. I have no doubt you have the ability and intelligence to succeed.

Yours

William Darcy.

...

Elizabeth Bennet could not sleep. She had read and reread her letter. Her emotions had swung from disbelief to horror to acute sympathy. She had tried to hold Darcy accountable but could not find it in her to blame him for any of his actions towards Wickham and once she accepted that, his actions towards Bingley seemed to make more sense. He could even have done her sister a favour, if his feelings were as interchangeable as Darcy believed them to be.

How miserable she felt for having hurled such baseless accusations at him, how proud of herself for holding a poor choice of words against him. He was so rich and so she must dislike him. Was she not as bad as Lady Catherine? Judging on the basis of fortune, even if her judgement was the reverse of most in society. Did he not deserve an even chance? Was that not the very foundation of her belief in equal rights?

Now that she had time to think, Miss Darcy's words took on a whole different light. Her brother must have put so much on hold for her comfort and what better judge of a man, than how he dealt with a young sister? Particularly one hurting after being misused as she had. Oh! The poor girl! What brother would care for her personally and not send her somewhere to recuperate?

Now that she chose to listen to the words of others, the various praises of Darcy started to penetrate. No one had a bad word to say about him, excepting him being less talkative, which had frequently been interpreted as being proud. That was his only failing and she could not fault him for it. Particularly in his current situation, taking an anxious sister across the ocean with her perpetrator on board. Really it was surprising he even noticed her, let alone paid enough attention to fall in love.

Love!

She wasn't certain she believed it, they had only known each other a few days after all, but clearly he did. And she had ripped his heart out and stomped on it. How heartless had she been to reject a declaration of love, however poorly made, with such venom. Could he really have such strong feelings for her after so little time?

She continued to think on all her failings, torturing herself by thinking on all the points of good behaviour she had witnessed from him over the last few days. If only she had another chance to make another first impression.

She told herself, even if she did not wish to marry him, she did not wish him to think ill of her. There were at least two or three more days aboard, maybe more if they had to slow down, plenty of time to make amends. She could try to show him she had taken heed of his words.

It was these pleasant thoughts that finally lulled her to sleep.