6

Just another disclaimer I don't own thunderbirds, this is for entertainment purposes only :-) Thank you so much for the reviews once again! just a word of warning that there are a few swears.

Gordon woke up on the floor. He had always been a restless sleeper but it had definitely intensified with everything that had been going on. He untangled himself and groaned as he stretched out, hissing in pain at the crick in his neck. He rubbed it to try and relax the muscle. Yesterday had been a shit show. He hadn't meant to fly off the handle about dad. It was a combination of not allowing himself to grieve and his anger at his father for not being able to pull himself together. Everyone knew Gordon was nothing short of resilient and that's why he was struggling to justify his dad's actions. His dad was the toughest guy he knew! He was the one Gordon had looked up to as a kid. His dad who had swiftly risen through the ranks, known for his strategic mind and being cool under pressure. Its what got him selected for the lunar programme after all; they didn't just take anyone. You had to be of a strong mental and physical disposition to cope with the unknown. He just couldn't understand why his dad had broken down as much as he had. Couldn't understand why his dad didn't get help. Didn't his father understand how much they needed him right now?

He knew he was being irrational, there were many different triggers, even potentially past events that could have trigger stacked in his dad's mind. Gordon had always struggled to understand his dad and he suspected his dad also struggled to understand him. His mother had come to Gordon's defense many times, often diffusing tension between him and his father especially as he hit his teens (Although dad wasn't home often they nearly always clashed when he was). Gordon had already been concerned how losing mum would affect that dynamic, who would provide that buffer between them now? that common ground? When Gordon had a row with his dad, he would seek his mom out first as she had truly understood him. He wasn't a bad kid he just hasn't found his purpose yet; is what she used to tell his father, give him time.

And then there was grandpa, a much softer touch than his father and who would let him get up to all sorts of high jinks behind his dad's back. He used to say that Jeff struggled with Gordon because he was just like him in his teens. Bold and reckless! Headstrong and looking for dare devilry! He used to regale Gordon with all the stupid stuff his dad had done in his teens, driving his grandfather crazy, grandpa said that's what you call karma. When you become a parent yourself you realise what a pain in the ass you were! Gordon allowed himself a faint smile at the memory. He missed grandpa dearly.

He got showered and ready for the day, trying to shut the box in his head with all these thoughts. He wished he hadn't been forced on compassionate leave. He was due to be posted studying the ocean on his own as an oceanographer for 12 months (Ironically near where his father had gone missing). He would much rather be alone out there doing what he loved then being reminded of the family he was missing here. On his own he would have solitude; he wouldn't expect mom to breeze through the door or his grandparents to be sat in the lounge visiting. He wouldn't have the constant triggers that being home presented. Now he wasn't likely to get posted until he'd had a psych evaluation. He sighed. He didn't want to go downstairs but he knew Scott would be up to round him up if he didn't, so he headed downstairs on his own terms.

Sure enough when he entered the kitchen, Scott was in full 'parent mode' making an elaborate breakfast of pancakes, cereal and fruit all laid out on the table, places set. They were all adults; they were quite capable of making their own breakfast but Gordon recognised this was Scott's coping mechanism. As long as he had family to care for, or people that needed him - he could solider on. Gordon decided to indulge his brothers needs and sat down making the appropriate appreciative noises. Sure enough Scott turned around from the stove and smiled. "Help yourself to what you want, don't worry about waiting for the others."

"Sweet! I could eat a horse." He didn't need telling twice, unlike the others his appetite remained unaffected. If anything he was eating more, mostly sugary snacks. He added a bit of everything. "Anyone else up yet?" Gordon was determined to stay off of the topic of dad for as long as possible.

"Virgil's just out helping Bobby (one of the three farmhands), the tractor failed this morning but he's pretty confident he can fix it with what we have, Alan's still asleep next door and I think John's out on a run." Scott joined him at the breakfast table and helped himself to a couple of pancakes only. He was being conservative. He wanted to eat more but the anxiety of his father being missing and potentially having to inform his grandma soon was taking its toll on his digestive system. He had necked some anti-spasmodic's and hoped for the best. He still needed to eat.

"How are you feeling today?" Scott glanced carefully over at his brother, he seemed in a better mood but he didn't want to trigger him, Scott knew he got defensive if he perceived he was being molly coddled.

"What do you think?" was his terse reply as he dug harder into the pancake on his plate.

Scott sighed. "Ok, don't feel pressured to answer. Just promise me that you'll talk to one of the others if you are finding it tough, even if you won't confide in me." He replied calmly. He wanted to avoid yesterdays' outburst.

Gordon just grunted back as John entered, removing one head phone and grabbing a fresh glass of water. He was wearing an expensive designer microfibre shirt and shorts. Sweat poured from him, he had obviously pushed himself hard this morning. He threw himself down next to Gordon (Whose nose wrinkled in disgust) before helping himself to a bowl of cereal, not noticing the discomfort he caused his younger brother. "Virgil said he'd be on his way in ten minutes, he's just doing a test drive." Scott nodded. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he looked at the screen noting who it was before stepping into the hall.

"Do you think that's Lee?" John asked.

Gordon shrugged.

John looked torn between getting up or staying put, just as Virgil came in. He was black up to the elbows smiling at his mornings work before catching sight of his brothers, his smile faltered as his brief respite faded. "What's wrong?"

"Scott's just taken a call but we don't know who it was."

Virgil looked to the hall in concern, before turning to wash his hands in the sink, something his mother would have chided him for and ordered him to use the cloakroom. He then dried his hands on the separate hand towel reserved just for his mucky mechanic hands which had been his mother's solution when her constant request to use another sink was ignored, first by her son, then by her husband when he was home. It was black so you couldn't see the stains. Virgil sat down to breakfast; he trusted his brother to update them soon. Alan was the last to arrive, all wayward blonde hair and sleepy eyed. Still in yesterdays creased jeans and blue shirt. He crashed into a seat at the table as Virgil helpfully poured him a glass of apple juice. "Have I missed anything?"

"Not yet, I've only just come in from the yard myself and John's got back from a run." Alan peered at John around Virgil's larger frame looking at him in disbelief. Who gets up for a run before this hour willingly? John just rolled his eyes as if he could read Alan's thoughts and passed him the now semi-cooled pancakes. He uttered his thanks and took the plate.

Scott came in his hair mussed from running his hand through it several times, it was one of his few tells when he was under pressure. He ditched his phone on the counter and turned to face his brothers with a frown.

"Well?" Virgil quizzed setting his glass down.

"That was Lee, they've searched a 50-mile radius of dad's last location and got nothing."

"Well that's a good thing isn't it? they haven't found debris or evidence of a crash site?" Alan looked hopeful; Scott wished he could share his enthusiasm.

"I've been monitoring air traffic in the area all day since yesterday" John pointed to the earbuds in his ear "and the local maritime channels but there have been no sightings, no radio communications of a plane like dad's. The weather was calm and the skies clear in that region yesterday."

"It's worth monitoring something may yet turn up, would you mind?"

"No, its fine I'll keep an eye on it." John had been listening most of the night to coincide with the time difference, he would have to sleep at some point but for now he would push on. He had almost got his set up completed so he could record more than one frequency at once to then go over it at his leisure. He had also developed a algorithm to pick out key words from communications to filter out as much of the chatter as possible. Most of his class mates would have struggled to complete that kind of programming at uni under controlled conditions, John had pulled it together in his room in under twenty-four hours with a little help from his computer buddy known as Brains who was a friend John had met whilst studying at Tracy college prior to uni. They were nothing short of geniuses.

"I'm going to have to file a missing person's report now, I wanted to give dad twenty-four hours before I did in case he came back." They all picked up on the disappointment in Scott's tone. But I'm not telling Grandma until tomorrow morning, she didn't sound great yesterday. I've invited her to come here to stay for a week, she's agreed. I'd rather tell her here in person."

"I'll prepare the spare room for her." Virgil replied. Scott nodded his thanks.

"Right you guys ok if I crack on?" Scott was keen to file the report and start trying to sort out the business and the farm. The end of month accounts was due for both. They all nodded. "Virgil can I borrow you in the study in twenty minutes?" He nodded as Scott left to go to the small study across the hall. Scott felt uncomfortable sitting in his dad's chair but business couldn't be left much longer and it was the most private place to make calls. Scott picked up the phone and made one of the hardest calls of his life.

Twenty precise minutes later, Virgil sat in the chair in the front of the desk. He informed Virgil that there was now a missing persons case filed for dad, it being out of the country there was not the local police departments could do but they had recommended who he needed to contact to arrange local search and rescue around the area their father had gone missing. Scott had made contact with several local embassies on the nearby islands to the last known location and was waiting for a response from all.

Scott moved onto the next pressing topic. "So, Mike came to see me at the office yesterday and when I explained dad would be absent most likely for a month at least he asked who was doing to stand in as CEO."

"Ah" Virgil looked concerned.

"Yeahhhh. Well dad always had me lined up as successor but I could get posted anytime once I return to who knows where, there's no way I can hold the business down too." Scott looked anxious.

"But I'm just an engineer, how could I manage it? I've not got the head for business like you have." Virgil looked uncomfortable at the thought. It was a too hostile environment for him, Scott knew how to charm investors and cherry pick the right projects to invest in as well as how to handle the finances and barter with the contractors. Virgil was content to manage the farm but that was as far as his business acumen went. Hence why should anything happen to dad Virgil was to inherit the farm business. They father loved his parents farm too much to part with it, when grandpa and grandma retired Jeff had taken on the farm despite his career and his wife had managed it in his stead. As Tracy industries grew Jeff continued to commute into the office rather then upheave his family. He knew the boys had a good life on the farm and he wanted to keep it that way. He wanted them to have the same upbringing he had living rurally. It was also an excellent way to stay out of the media too. Touch wood no one have ever bothered to followed Jeff back to Kanas.

"I know, don't worry I would never ask you to handle it alone; the way I see it is I will manage it as long as I am granted leave, then worse-case scenario I'll have to choose between the air force or the company. We could look to hire a CEO to manage the business but we maintain ownership of the company or a percentage of the company. I know it might seem premature to discuss this. I want to find dad as much as everyone else but this is not something we can put on the backburner."

"But Scott! You can't give up your career! You adore flying, it's your life's blood!" Virgil looked stricken for his brother.

"I know but sometimes you've just gotta do what's best for your family. Someone's got to pay for the university fees and ensure that they have a roof over their heads." Scott suddenly looked world weary.

Virgil looked at him. "How are you coping with all this? Really?" Virgil's amber eyes soul searched Scott's intensely. The concerned expression was clear.

Scott balked; he wasn't used to people asking him if he was coping. He looked away out of the window and swallowed. He couldn't look at Virgil as he spoke.

"I don't know Virgil, I guess I hadn't really had time to grieve for mum and grandfather with caring after dad and everything else. Then dad disappeared and the responsibility I feel has just intensified overnight. I need to keep us together more than ever but I want to search for dad myself, I've done that sort of rescue/ retrieval exercise many times I'm confident I could find him, find some sort of evidence at least! It's frustrating sat here managing everything else." Scott paused. "Then there's the fear that I might find an answer I don't want to acknowledge at least if he's missing there's still hope. I think that's all I'm holding onto right now, that and looking after the four of you." Scott smiled sadly. He would do anything for them. Anything. He winced involuntarily at an especially bad cramp.

"Scott?"

Scott waved his hand as in its nothing. Virgil wasn't convinced, his brother was looking paler by the minute. "I think you need to go and lie down."

"Nah it will pass in a minute." Scott managed to grunt whilst tensed because of another cramp.

"Fine, you can surrender the farm accounts then. I'll do them." Scott shot his brother a thankful look.

Virgil got up and left, he could access the accounts on the shared drive from his laptop. He really wished his brother would slow down he'd not stopped since after the accident. He had picked up the pieces where their father couldn't. He talked to grandma daily to try and lift her spirits, he checked in with his brothers and tried to engage them so they wouldn't feel so alone, he had been out to chat to the farmhands to make sure they were ok. He was trying to maintain Tracy industries and hide their father's absence. Virgil couldn't remember the last time Scott had done something for himself. Like taking a well-deserved break or giving himself time to grieve. Virgil didn't want him to burn out or suffer a breakdown like their father. He used the instant hot water machine to make Scott a peppermint tea before microwaving a heat pack. He then went back to the office, knocked and dropped the items in.

"Gee thanks Virg, this is just what I needed." He gratefully took a sip, the hot peppermint aroma already soothing him, the heat down his throat bringing a welcome relief. It tasted like crap but he knew it would make him feel better.

"Anytime, if you need anything just shout ok? take regular breaks and even better go and lie down." Chided Virgil.

"I'll be fine, now quit worrying, will you?"

"Not likely" Virgil muttered to himself as he left.