Disclaimer: I do not own The 100 or any of its characters.
Author's note: at the end.
WAR ON ICE
A glance.
"We should rest here for the night."
Anya, Lexa, Costia, and Costia's father Aster pushed through a well-worn path toward a small clearing. Trees hovered over every side with a small split in the middle, perfect for gazing up at the stars. Per usual for this time of the year, Lexa could make out some of her favorite constellations along with that strange, bright burst of light that didn't seem to be star nor planet.
"What do you think it is?" Costa joined her, head tilted up and her arm swinging to lightly brush Lexa's. "I think it's a planet."
"It's too close to be a planet," Lexa observed. She remembered the hint of the other planet she'd seen once, the small red and purple orb Titus had called Venusa. This light was different, and not spherical and translucent the way planets seemed to be.
"A really bright star? It's always in the sky. Even during the day."
"Maybe it's something else."
Lexa was aware of a different way of life long ago, what they call Before. Before the first Heda, so simply Before. They had artifacts stored and semblages of old buildings and architecture preserved. The elders and scholars studied them closely. But they didn't know what was up there. The fallen Hedas, she'd been told in her natblida training: watching from above to offer courage and guidance to the current Heda. No one ever said any more than that, except for the existence of other planets and stars like the sun that meant absolutely nothing to them and the life they led.
But sometimes, Lexa wondered about it. She stood there with Costia, head still tilted up. They were standing close together, but not too close since both Anya and Hasta were nearby. They stole little moments together like this, traveling on official business and pretending to be friends when in reality their affection was so much more and so much deeper.
They had to be careful, though. They had to be discreet. They had to steal whatever moments they could get.
"Lexa." Costia's voice was low, so that the others couldn't hear them. Lexa turned to her and felt herself smile as she grew lost in the girl's deep green gaze. It was soft yet fierce. It was as green as the forest with a tint of the teal from the sea. It was beautiful.
They stood there together like that for a minute, their glances shifting from each other to the sky and then back again. Always back again to each other.
o - o - o - o - o - o
Chapter 13
"Where is Clarke?"
Abby wouldn't call herself an impatient woman. As a doctor, she needed to adopt and practice a due amount of patience and understanding in order to help others and complete her work. She dealt with sick patients refusing to tell her what was wrong all of the time; she even dealt with healthy patients hiding the ways in which they felt sick, carefully poking and prodding until they admitted it and let her take care of them in the ways that they needed.
But at the moment deep in the woods of Ice Nation in pursuit of her kidnapped daughter, Abby was the definition of impatient.
She tilted the vial of poison toward the man's lips, watching the dark liquid pool at the top. She saw his eyes widen and then narrow, afraid yet committed to whatever cause he had pledged himself over to. Her foot tapped against the ground and her body shifted back-and-forth as she tipped the vial even further, moving her hand to grab at the back of his head.
"Where is my daughter?"
The man smiled just then, the shift of his mouth muscles almost bumping into the vial and almost causing Abby to spill it down his throat.
Did he want to die?
These people didn't care about themselves. That was easy enough for Abby to see. The Ice Nation spies and warriors were so brainwashed and trained that their individual lives meant nothing in comparison to the greater good of their kingdom. They believed so fully and so deeply in the mission of their Queen that nothing—not even their own lives—were important enough to distract them.
What they needed was a psychologist, probably. Abby could see the telltale signs of psychological warfare on these people, on making them so dedicated and devoted to their cause that they knew no other way of life. Countries used it to their advantage during the wars Before. And apparently they even used it today and in this world of old and new.
Abby didn't know anyone from the Ark who even practiced that branch of psychiatric medicine and healing, and nor did she have the time to go there. Tightening her grip on the vial and grabbing a nearby tree branch, she gritted her teeth and steeled herself for doing it the only way she knew how.
o - o - o - o - o - o
It was her.
Costia had been expecting it. Indeed, Nia had made it clear enough Lexa was captured, being held nearby, and would eventually be dragged into headquarters for an intense round of questioning and torture. Costia knew this, and she'd braced herself for it, but she wasn't expecting it to happen so soon. And she wasn't expecting for Lexa to have broken free.
Costia had to give it to her. She knew Lexa was resourceful. When they were younger, Costia had seen Lexa squeeze her way out of some tough situations. There was the time they accidentally crossed into a neighboring tribe territory and were caught by the patrol, for example. The warriors had took them prisoner and bound their hands together, dragging them through the forest on the way to their camp. Just when Costia had thought they were done for and was praying to all the Commanders in the sky for the tribesman to spare their lives, Lexa did it—she slipped out of her bounds, grabbed Costia, and then jumped into the trees, easily outpacing their captors and making it home before dark.
She was incredible in that way.
In even just the few moments Costia had seen her now, she could see that Lexa was still fierce. Costia saw it in the way Lexa had eyed her and the tone in which she'd called out her name. Her voice exuded authority and demanded respect, as it always had. If anything, it was even more sharp and impressive.
But it was also fickle. Lexa was uncertain, unconvinced; afraid. That wasn't the Lexa Costia remembered. There were things that she actually didn't remember, Costia realized, for it'd been so long since she'd been with Lexa and since they'd had the time to be open and free with one another. It was so long since they'd worked side-by-side in Polis and around TriKru territory, running errands, completing drills, relaying messages, and stealing a moment or two together beneath the stars.
What had happened? What had taken Lexa so long? And why was she so surprised to see Costia?
It was too much. It was all too much for Costia at the moment.
She quietly made her way back to her hut and then closed the door, pressing her body against the back of it. Are you ready to meet the reason why your Lexa never came to search for you? Costia heard Nia's words reverberate through her head. She'd known what Nia was trying to do. Costia wasn't stupid. She was quite clever, really, as an ambassador's daughter. Nia wanted to make Costia jealous because she wanted to use Costia in some way, as bait for Lexa, as revenge toward Lexa; possibly both.
What was Cosia to do? She didn't know. Again, she didn't think she'd actually see Lexa this soon, actually hear the disbelief and see the shock ablaze on her bloody, sweaty face.
She didn't have to decide just now. Costia moved over to her bed, laying down on the thin fabric and curling her body around her equally-thin pillow. She had a little bit of time, and could wait just a little while longer.
o - o - o - o - o - o
"She hesitated."
Lexa was back, and she'd told Clarke what she had seen. Clarke didn't know what to think at the moment, if she were to be honest with herself. Lexa was out scouting and collecting more wood for their fire when she'd stomped dramatically back into their cave, eyes wide, hands shaking, and utter disbelief etched across her frail face. The affect in the cavern was real; Clarke felt the pangs of Lexa's hurt and betrayal and something… else.
"She's never hesitated before," Lexa continued. Clarke stoked the fire and the rabbit Lexa had caught for their dinner, listening and staring over at her. "I've known her for so long, and she's always come to me. She, she-"
Clarke didn't want to be insensitive, but she had to ask. "Are you sure it was Costia?"
Lexa had been through a terrible ordeal. Her grief still plagued her, Clarke knew, and she understood from experience what it was like to mourn for someone and see them at every turn. She'd seen Finn for days after his death; she didn't know left from right or real from fake. These things happen, especially following further types of trauma like a kidnapping. Clarke didn't want
"Of course I'm sure it was her!" Lexa whipped her head up to glare over at Clarke. "Do you think I wouldn't be able to recognize her?"
"I think this is a sore spot for you and you're not thinking straight," Clarke fired back. She didn't want to be insensitive, but she also didn't want to be chasticized. "What if that wasn't Costia? What if you just tipped off some random Azgeda girl that The Commander is here near their camp?"
Lexa looked away just then. Clarke knew that was because Lexa couldn't argue with that. But Clarke still didn't feel satisfied. She felt scared that a patrol of guards would ambush them, angry that Lexa had been so careless, and overall just sad at what they were doing and how it had all come to this.
And perhaps was she feeling jealous?
"I understand," Clarke said softly, shaking herself. She put down her twig and touched Lexa's arm, giving in to her impulse to comfort the brunette. "It's hard. But we have to move now, in case that wasn't her and in case they come looking for us."
"But what if it was her?" Lexa turned to look over at Clarke. Her eyes were pooling and full of a deep sadness and desperation Clarke had never seen in her before. "What if she comes back for me and I already left?"
It was an impossible question to respond to. Clarke felt Lexa's hurt wash over her. All she could do was lean forward to pat the girl's back, feeling Lexa's hand slip into hers as she let out a quiet sob.
Author's note:
Hey everyone! Thank you so much for reading, and I apologize that it's been a hot minute (or like a million) since I've updated. Things have been really busy, but I'm actually dedicating my NaNoWriMo time to updating this story :) so I will hopefully we updating more throughout the month! Hope y'all enjoy!