We would rejoin Zelda and Fi as we left them; at the mercy of Ghirahim, but nobody cares about them, so let's go to Groose.
Groose and the other guys are traveling through the Faron Woods once again, they appeared to be lost since they've been hiking for a long time to a destination that wasn't very far away. Groose was hacking the shrubbery away with a machete, even though it wasn't necessary since he has to go off the path to do so, but damn did he look fine doing it.
Link was growing frustrated with this and finally spoke.
"Alright, you should have let ME navigate! I already knew the way, and now we're lost!"
Groose payed no attention to this bold comment since, unknown to the others, getting to Ghirahim's lair was not his first and foremost plan.
The four finally came to a clearing and Groose surveyed it with expert judgement.
"Here it is!" he declared. "The perfect spot for the Grooseland Amusement Park!"
The other three were astonished by this. Cawlin and Strich knew by now not to question Groose's motives as they always made sense at the end of the day. Link, on the other hand, was angry. Even though... he did agree that Groose had found the perfect spot for a new amusement park...
"We traveled through miles of forest, sucked poison out of our own wounds, and evaded pushy salesmen just so you could find a spot for a theme park?!"
"Not a theme park, but an amusement park!" Groose corrected.
In minutes, construction was completed, everything from roller coasters, to haunted rides, to over priced waffles and watered down sarsaparilla. It was then that, now that his business was finished, Groose decided to move on to his next task...
Find out which ride to try first.
They agreed on the Ferris wheel, but they quickly got bored of it, demolished it, and moved on to that one ride that spins you around really fast.
GHIRAHIM'S LAIR
As Fi lay unconscious on the ground, Zelda was face to face with Ghirahim, the latter getting in a little TOO close.
"Look... what do you want? What am I doing here?" Said Zelda, trying to back away.
"Hmmm... I bet you wish to know why you're here." Taunted Ghirahim.
"Uhh, yes, that's what I asked."
Ghirahim then did some weird dance in preparation to give Zelda some important information.
"I..." He began, "Don't know either."
As Ghirahim crept behind Zelda and licked her for no reason, Demise finally decided it was time to "wake up" before Ghirahim made things worse.
"Ghirahim... what are you doing?" Demise muttered, pretending to have just gotten out of bed.
"OMG MASTER YOU FINALLY WOKE UP! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE GONE FOREVER I GET SO LONELYWHENYOULEAVEICANTSTANDNOTBEINGAROU-"
"Ghirahim... go make my coffee..." Demise interrupted.
As Ghirahim skipped off, Demise spoke to Zelda.
"He didn't harm you, did he?"
Zelda shook her head.
"Good," He continued "Allow me to explain why you are here. You see, you are a necessary piece in a grand scheme, you are the descendant, or reincarnation, or whatever of the goddess Hylia. Ever heard of her?"
"Yeah, she makes all these crappy pop singles that are always on the radio." Zelda replied.
"Yes that's her. I am at war with her and-"
Just then, Zelda had a wonderful idea.
"Hey wait just a sec, what did you mean by Ghirahim "harming" me?" She asked with a twinkle in her eye.
Fearing the worst, Demise said "Well... I suppose I meant any physical contact that offended you in any way..."
Seeing an opportunity, Zelda welled up some fake tears and started whining.
"Oh it was horrible! He kept licking me, grabbing my ass and saying I had nice-"
"GHIRAHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!"
Demise then started writing up a check.
"Here, if I give you this, will you please not speak of it? We can't afford any more lawsuits."
As Zelda took the check, Ghirahim came in with his master's coffee. Demise then took it at dumped it at his poor minion.
"AAAAHHHH TH-TH-THANK YOU SIR!"
GROOSELAND
As Cawlin and Strich were using Link as a shooting target for Groose's amusement, a man in shorts that were WAAAAAAY too short jogged up to them.
"EEEEEEYYY... HEE HUH HEE HUH HEE HUH. Good evening Mr. Groose, I have a package for you. That'll be a 20 rupee delivery fee".
Groose held a red rupee in his hand and trust his arm with excellent form. The mailman ran off, not knowing that Groose didn't really throw the rupee. Groose then opened the box and shed a manly tear at the sight of it...
Fi's bloody body within.
Well, not her dead body, he wasn't crying because he was sad, but because she kinda smelled bad, with a hole through her stomach and all.
Wait a second, who could have sent Fi over to Groose? It couldn't have been Zelda, Demise or Ghirahim, they were all busy. Who did it? who cares? moving on.
With Groose's amazing ability, he had Fi back to normal in no time. Well not really normal, since she wasn't waking up. Groose then rubbed his shoes on the carpet at high speed, (yes, he happened to be standing on a carpet in the middle of the forest) and touched Fi, shocking her back into consciousness.
"Thank you master, I can see why gods choosing Link was a mistake."
"So," Groose asked, "Where have you been?"
"While you were busy attending to your affairs, I managed to locate Ghirahim's lair. It's just as I suspected, Zelda is there and is being held prisoner. We must rescue her immediately!"
"Well good luck keeping his attention this time..." Link complained.
"On the contrary..." Said Groose "All I must do now is close down the park and we'll be off to bring Zelda back!"
"Excellent, but before you do so... could I try out one of the rides?" The bumper cars caught Fi's eye.
"What? No, we're leaving now!" Link demanded.
Fed up with Link's attitude, Groose gave Link the usual five good reasons not to speak out of line.
"But of course, we have all the time in the world." Groose said.
And they all headed towards the bumper cars. Link sat there pouting.
"This is insane, I've been out all day, and all they want to do is play on their rides. Ah whatever, they'll come with once they're done... AND I'LL BE RID OF ALL OF THEM! AAAAHAHAHAHA!"
And so concludes this chapter in the continuing saga of Groose, but wait! Who could have sent Fi to Groose? Demise, Ghirahim, and Zelda were all busy with something else, is some new character working in the background-
"Hee hee hee, it was me, the Twilight Princess! Did you think I just disappeared?"
Uhh, ok then...
AUTHOR'S NOTE
I promise the next chapters will be longer from now on. Thanks for the reviews as always!