Disclaimer: I do not own The 100 or any of its characters.
Author's note: at the end.
WAR ON ICE
A warning.
"Please listen to me, Heda." Titus was hovering, per usual. Lexa was in the midst of her early-morning workout, throwing knives at a target as she jumped and avoided arrows being thrown at her from her young natblidas, who were also practicing their skills and exercising their muscles. A Heda's training never sleeps, she had taught them, and enforced during her pre-dawn drills.
"I am listening, Fleimkepa," Lexa responded calmly, eying him as she caught an arrow mid-air from the base and then redirected it to the target. "Be mindful of your speed, Howa. If it's too slow, your enemy can use it against you." A small boy on the other edge of the training grounds nodded solemnly, lowering his head and gathering up the arrow along with the knives from the stuffed target. Once everyone was ready to continue, he winded up and threw another arrow with increased momentum. Lexa easily dodged it and smiled, as his throw was much improved.
"But you are not!" Titus was keeping his distance, as some of the children still needed to work on their aim. His face was flushed and his tone almost shrill. "Remember my teachings, please. Love is weakness. You are letting Costia interfere with your work."
At that, Lexa took an approaching arrow and this time threw it toward Titus, at a point just above his head. It transpired all within two seconds. The man flinched and stumbled back, eyes wide. All the children stopped launching their arrows.
"Enough," Lexa practically growled, moving closer to him. It was the same day after day: love is weakness. Do not distract yourself. To be Heda is to be alone. He'd chided her during meetings, during lessons, during trainings—during every minute of every day. And she'd had enough. "I think I've made myself perfectly clear: I can do as I please in my personal life."
"Please, Heda." Titus's voice was desperate now, pleading. It was unbecoming of his, yet he didn't seem to care. "This will come back to hurt you. I just don't want for you to be hurt."
Lexa could understand his worry, even if she didn't agree with it. The role of the Fleimkepa was to protect the Heda and the Flame. The Fleimkepa provided counsel and guidance during a Commander's reign, serving as a life mentor as well as a political advisor.
But Lexa could only take "life mentoring" so far. Titus was a conservative man, as well as one who was overly cautious in nature. From his teachings, he believed that the best and only form of fit leadership was that of complete and utter isolation and devotion to the Flame and the cause. He thus advised Lexa as such, insisting that his ways were the ways. Lexa wasn't like that, though. She was younger—younger than any other Commander before her. And as a young person, she was passionate and full of conviction. It was that conviction which led her people, and that which attracted Costia well before she was Heda. And she wouldn't let her position ruin the good that they had.
Besides, she thought as she turned away from him and picked up another knife to resume the training session. Costia would never hurt me. I can trust Costia with my life.
o - o - o - o - o - o
Chapter 15
"So, you found me."
Lexa stared as Costia stood up and moved out from behind a thick pine tree. Her ripped, holed clothes hung off from her slender frame as she carefully moved closer, her hands in plain sight and her eyes locked on Lexa's.
It was her. Lexa knew it. She couldn't describe how she had known it was indeed Costia back at the Azgada camp, but she did. It was akin to instinct, perhaps, or intuition. Her body and spirit could sense her before her logical mind could, even.
She didn't look well, though. She was thin—too thin, with her cheek bones jutting out and her arms skeletal. Costia also had bruises across her face, from her forehead to her chin to along her neck. What have they done to her? Lexa thought, struck with a profound sense of terror and outrage as Costia came closer and she saw more and more how ill the woman was. How is she still here?
"I can't believe it." Lexa didn't mean for those to be the words to slip out of her. There was so much she'd planned to say to Costia, if she'd ever had the chance to talk to her again. Lexa spent sleepless nights thinking about it. She wanted to tell Costia that she was sorry. Sorry that she was collateral damage, sorry that she'd let her leave the capital, sorry for everything. She also had wanted to tell her how much she'd loved her and how she would love her until her dying day. But, now…
"Nor can I." Costia's eyes flicked as she gazed coolly over at Lexa. "I spend three years imprisoned in the Ice Nation, and it's me who has to come chasing you once our paths finally cross again?"
It was an unexpected remark, and it made Lexa smile–actually smile up into her eyes. She was aware of Clarke catching up to them, and before she could turn to her, she felt a body press against her.
Costia. She'd closed the gap between them and simply hugged Lexa tightly, her arms wrapped familiarly under Lexa's arms. Lexa breathed as she took in the woman's scent, touch, presence. As bony as her frame was, Costia's body was soft, and warm. Lexa found her own arms moving to lock Costia into an embrace, squeezing hard and giving into suppressed feelings of grief, longing, and intimacy that she hadn't even known bubbled inside of her.
It felt right, as well as strange.
"Ahem."
And then they separated, at the pointed cough of Clarke. Lexa looked over Costia's shoulder at her, teal eyes wide, and saw with a start how annoyed Clarke was, as well as how her blue eyes were hardened with suspicion.
"You must be the Sky Girl," said Costia lightly, slowly letting her arms fall from around Lexa's waist. Her own eyes were glimmering with something resembling amusement.
"And you must be the deceased Costia."
Clarke's eyes narrowed as Costia simply smiled, the venom entering her expression now. Lexa knew all too well how Costia could exude the sweetest poison. This was going to be a problem. Lexa could feel the tension in the air. It was so thick that she'd have a hard time cutting it with her knife. Clarke's foot was tapping, a clear indication of her nervousness and impatience, and Costia remained completely still, head held high and shoulders straight as they all gathered around the small clearing.
"Clarke," Lexa offered, taking a step toward her. "Let's go talk about this."
"I don't see why we have to go anywhere to talk about it," Clarke snapped back, her eyes still trained on Costia. "We were just on our way back to my people, in wake of being abducted by the Iced Nation. And then you appear, magically, as we get closer to leaving the territory."
"It's lucky I was able to find you, then," Costia responded, still smiling, "or else I might have missed you. I'm afraid that none of the Azgeda troops know where you are."
"Clarke," Lexa said again, more firmly this time. "I know this seems suspect, but I think we all just need a moment to–"
"Of course it's suspect, Lexa!" Clarke dropped all formalities and charged over to the Commander now, glaring at her full in the face. "You don't just randomly come across her and then see her again for no reason. This isn't right. The Ice Nation is behind this."
"My, my," Costia chimed in, smile somehow still in-tact. "I suppose a lot has changed, Lexa, if you allow others to speak to you like that. The Commander I knew didn't allow such disrespect."
It was all too much. Lexa couldn't handle it. She was on one hand still shocked and unnerved by Costia's presence, desperately wishing to learn what happened and why she was here and what it all meant. On the other hand, though, she understood Clarke's concern. Costia came out of nowhere at a time where Lexa easily could escape. As emotional as she was, Lexa wasn't stupid. Love is weakness, she had told Clarke time and time again. Costia had been that source of weakness to her, and perhaps even now as she hesitated and wasted time during their race against the Iced Nation.
"Enough." Lexa's voice was fully back in command now, her tone sharp and controlled. "Here's what we're going to do."
They'd decided to put off all talks until they were safely back in Trikru territory. At Clarke's great insistence, Lexa had tied Costia's arms together into a tight knot.
"This brings back memories," Costia murmured softly, her eyes full of laughter and softness again as Lexa looked at her. The Commander blushed, knowing fully well what Costia was referencing, and the other woman laughed before frowning slightly as Clarke yanked her roughly by the arm to move her along.
They trekked for a long while, crossing streams and patches of wood until Lexa saw the boundary-markers and knew they were safely into her territory. She felt lighter, all of a sudden, for it was in this moment she truly felt that they had escaped their captors, since crossing the border was riskier in broad daylight and when the clan was alright on high alert. As they stopped at a river bank to drink and find some plants for a quick meal, Lexa loosened Costia's bindings.
"Thank you," Costia said, sighing heavily and stretching her wrists. Lexa looked at her face again, at that deep scar from her nose to the top of her head. She'd been so beautiful, so composed, and now she looked so….damaged.
"What happened?" Lexa's voice was barely a whisper as she stared transfixed at the wound. Costia didn't look up at her at first, busying herself with rubbing her hands together and flexing every muscle after their long voyage. But she finally met Lexa's gaze, understanding what she meant.
"They tortured me, at first," she replied, watching as Lexa's eyes widened. "Nia herself decided to mar my skin, thinking that would perhaps get me to be less vain and take her seriously. It bled for weeks."
"I'm sorry." It was barely a breath, and tears started to pool in Lexa's eyes now. She didn't know why, but the sight of her scar and the knowledge of her torture was too much to bear. Costia had been watching her carefully, but at this moment leaned forward, putting her hand on Lexa's leg.
"Why didn't you look for me?" she asked, her tone almost pleading. Lexa raised her eyebrows at this.
"I did," she insisted, unconsciously moving closer so that the two were merely inches apart. She could feel Costia's breath. "I sent my entire army to find you."
"Then why did you stop?" Costia's voice cracked at that point, her gaze searching Lexa's. "I waited years for you, Lexa. Why did you give up on me?"
Lexa understood Clarke's suspicions, but looking at Costia now, listening to her, there was no way that she was faking this. The other woman was genuinely pained, her face contorted into a mix of contempt and sadness. The truth was all in her eyes, which were creased and open and vulnerable in a way Lexa had never seen them. And above all, Lexa could feel the energy and the sincerity swirl all around them as they sat there together.
But before Lexa could continue, explaining the severed head that had appeared at her bedside, she felt a hand press on her shoulder.
"Can I talk to you?" Clarke asked, voice fuming as her eyes bore daggers into Costia. "Now?"
The moment was broken. Costia moved away, her cool and collected demeanor back in place. She looked down at her hands as she picked through her nails, leaning back closer to the rock she was leaning against. It was as if their exchange had never happened.
Lexa sighed before nodding, jumping up onto her feet and tossing Costia one last glance before she followed Clarke to a space nearby.
A/N: I apologize, AGAIN, for my delay in updating. Life may draw my attention elsewhere sometimes, but I love this show and these characters and will always find a way back to them. I can't WAIT for season 7 to premiere in May, although I'm feeling bittersweet that it's the last season. Thanks for reading!