Far away in the seemingly infinite woodland, Midna was angrily stomping along the trail, bound for no destination in particular.
"How could they leave me behind like that?" She complained aloud to no one "After all I've done for them!"
She stopped and beheld three mighty statues erecting from the valley in the distance. The one in the middle was in the image of her "servant" Groose, while the others she assumed were just secondary characters. She saw a multitude of creatures attempting to pull them up, they were the Kikwi.
Seeing that the poor beasts were struggling to raise these new wonders of the world to their upright position, Midna decided to help them, and with the powers of Twilight that coursed within her, she had all three statues standing straight with ease.
"Thank you, lady!"
"You're the best!"
"We owe it to you!" They called over.
Midna got an idea; if Groose was not going to serve her, then perhaps these little guys could be of use. She had a lot of trouble getting help from people ever since she had been exiled from her home realm; people were a lot more civilized where she came from, much less venomous as well.
"The pleasure is all mine, dear friends!" Midna said, trying her to sound like an uncouth barbarian "But if I could have just a moment of your time, I'd like to ask a small favor of you in return."
The Kikwi cheered in response, making Midna shudder inside; how could anyone respond so well to such awful language?
GHIRAHIM'S LAIR
And so our heroes were finally on their way to rescue Zelda. It seemed that this time the team was truly focused on their mission, no intention at all to stop for any more distractions. As they traveled fast across the jungle grounds, Link had something a little less heroic in mind; nervously preparing himself for the deed he would soon commit, he was determined to ensure that he remained a free man.
"Here we are." Link and Fi said in unison.
Despite what one would have come to expect, Groose and his gang had finally reached Ghirahim's Lair; the quest was at last nearing its end.
"It's time, boys." Groose said solemnly.
Groose wielded his sword and ran straight into the unknown. Unfortunately, he made contact with several walls shortly upon entry, on account of the cave being incredibly dark. Though such puny collisions would never harm our hero, it was clear that a source of light was going to be needed if Groose planned to navigate this monstrous cave more efficiently.
"This is no good." He pondered "I am going to need a source of light if I'm going to navigate this monstrous cave more efficiently..."
When the rest of the gang caught up, Groose's consideration of his options was interrupted by a blue glow that, while somewhat faint, shone brilliantly enough to illuminate the treacherous tunnels that lay before him. He soon found this strange anomaly to be none other than Fi.
"Fi?" he asked "How do you do that?"
"Well, it's because of some food poisoning from when I was five. You see, one day I found a radioactive piece-"
Having heard more than he needed, Groose ordered Fi to the front. With their new beacon before them, our heroes found this cave to labyrinthine in design; many passages would split off into infinite darkness, as if inviting curious travelers to their certain death.
"What are the odds we'll find some treasure in here?" Cawlin asked.
"Not great. If I know Ghirahim, he wouldn't leave any monetary valuables lying around for others to discover." Replied Fi "Now then, we must turn right here... now another right... right turn..."
As a master of solving puzzles, Groose was impressed by Fi's simple yet effective strategy of keeping to one direction. Link, however, remained silent; he could not risk forewarning his 'friends' of the impending doom that awaited them ahead, after all.
(Just a little further, it's all coming together! Hehehehe...)
MEANWHILE...
Midna continued along her way with her new assistants at her side. They were headed to Ghirahim's Lair where, according to Bucha, Groose was last seen. The land they traversed was quite untamed, which made the sight up ahead all the more surprising; a carnival peeked over the treeline, giving off a most welcoming vibe.
"What in the cosmos is that...?" Midna asked, entranced by the colorful lights.
"That is the Grooseland Amusement park!" Said Machi "I can't wait to try it out tonight; Master Groose says that slaves will get a fifty percent discount!"
"It's so... beautiful..."
Midna dropped to her tiny feet walked forward, feeling beckoned by the amazing world of fun that was made for all of Groose's subjects.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
She was so hypnotized by the cheerful music that she nearly stepped on a crowd of tiny people beneath her.
"What are you?!" Midna asked in astonishment.
"We are but the humble Minish..." Replied an old man "We travel this great land in search of a new home, for our lands have been razed by giants and their machines."
"A giant by the name of Groose, right?" Midna asked with a twinkle in her eye.
Being much smaller than Groose, Midna could see more easily that these miniatures were wandering about with little else but the clothes on their backs.
Clearly, they had been forcefully evicted from their previous settlement and were in need of some new guidance; how sickeningly convenient.
"Why yes, I believe that was the behemoth called himself!" The old one replied.
He then looked into the distance wistfully.
"Oh, what could we have done to anger the great Hylia this time... we followed her law to the best of our abilities..."
"Worry not, my dear friend!" Said Midna, switching back into savage mode "If you would be so interested, I have just the solution to your troubles!"
"Oh benevolent one!" The man responded "We would gladly lend the combined strength of our backs for a new home!"
As the Minish cheered in agreement, Midna felt a growing sense of pride in her persuasive expertise; she could certainly get used to this.
GHIRAHIM'S LAIR
Groose and the gang were exhausted, they had been wandering the corridors for almost an hour with no apparent progress. Even Link and Fi were growing concerned, seeing as they had no such problems traversing the cave during their previous visits; it seemed as if they were going in cirlces
"Right turn here, right turn here, right turn here..." Fi droned, beginning to doubt her knowledge.
As they pressed on, Cawlin observed the various strange murals etched on the walls; they appeared to depict a bloody war that took place in the ages long past, with the most interesting feature being the image of a women in the sky calling down lighting to smite her monstrous foes. The only enemies that stood in resistance were a kingly and muscular figure with red hair and a rather lanky looking one at his side.
The series of paintings stretched on, chronicling what Cawlin guessed was a more detailed recounting of the battle, but after a while of proceeding further, the tale would start over and repeat, giving him a distinct feeling that he was not only looking into the past, but also the future.
After seeing enough of this gruesome narrative, something clicked in Cawlin's corpulent little head that inspired him to think outside of the box.
"Hey guys! Let's turn left here!" He said.
And so they did. Surely enough, they were finally on new terrain. In fact, it would turn out that the team was by no means lost, but were actually spending all that time circling a central spire in the middle of the main lobby. Through this newly discovered passage, they could already see their destination. Fi even came across the familiar bad decorating and knew they had arrived.
"It's quiet... Too quiet!" Groose said awesomely.
A deafening silence reigned in this inner sanctum; without better knowledge, one would say that this foul place had been deserted for centuries.
"Come forth, foul beasts, and face me!" Groose demanded.
When Groose's challenge recived no response, Link calmly stepped forward and called out into the darkness.
"I have brought the souls you seek, as per the deal, now hand over Zelda!"
At this, two mysterious figures materialized out of thin air. One was large and beastly, sporting a firey head while the other was incredibly thin and colorful. We know who they are already, but Groose and the gang don't, sssh!
"Welcome to my lair!" The giant one bellowed.
"But masteeeeeer... I thought it was miiiiiiine!" The smaller one complained.
Groose was not feeling patient today, so he quickly drew his weapon and took an offensive stance.
"We did not come here for a pleasant visit, monster! Return Zelda to us at once!" He shouted.
Two sets of white fangs flashed from the mouths of these demons at the sound of Groose's threat; he could see on their faces that they were not intimidated in the slightest.
"Put away your weapon boy." Said the giant "Or do you perhaps not know who I am?"
Groose couldn't tell at the time, but something deep inside his soul shuddered for a brief moment; this being... this thing was something truly ancient, a deity that he could not even pretend to understand.
Still, he shrugged off his momentary unease and regained his composure.
"I am DEMISE!" He said, answering a Groose's question before it was even asked. "And this is my slave, Ghirahim!"
"What kind of slave?" Strich suggestively asked.
Creeped out, Fi asked "How often does he do this?"
When the two demons stepped into the light, Groose retracted, but only slightly. They were quite imposing indeed; they seemed unlike anything Groose had faced before. But he wasn't going to back down, not with Zelda at stake. Whom, by the way, Groose did not see.
"What have you done to Zelda? Answer me!"
Strich, thinking he was on a roll, once again went with "I think I have an idea of what they might have done to her..."
Strich was then thrown into the wall.
"Hand her over to me, I only have one thing to do with her." Link said.
Groose rolled his eyes. Of course that droopy eyeed dope was in league with these monsters, an ambush was something right of that delinquent's playbook. It was certainly a good thing that our hero was already expecting a fight by this point, otherwise that twerp would ave been in for it.
Ghirahim then lifted his arm, uncovering Zelda and allowing her to leave. Zelda wasn't too pleased though, since she spent the last few minutes in close proximity of the overdressed demon who was known for forgetting to wear deodorant.
"We've come to save you Zelda! Come with me quickly-" Called a rudely interrupted Groose.
"YOU!"
Groose was stunned, what kind of bad mood could she be in that would lead her to interrupt him? Seeing as she was heading straight towards Link, it had to have been something that bonehead did earlier. Groose then started putting the pieces together...
"You are SO DEAD! I could have DIED!" Zelda shouted, hands out and ready to choke Link.
"ROUND ONE: FIGHT!" Ghirahim called.
"BUG CATCHER!" Link shouted as he drew a net and captured Zelda within.
Mission accomplished but... now what?
As Link was thinking of his next move, Zelda broke through what Link thought was an inescapable piece of indestructible hardware and was ready to make the next move.
"DIN'S FIRE" Zelda shouted, creating a sphere of... well, fire.
The area was engulfed in the flames, completely consuming Link's wooden stick and some of Ghirahim's fine curtains. Groose, in all of his quick thinking, got in front of Cawlin, Strich, and Fi to protect them from the fire. Link wasn't hurt, but more mildly irritated by the burn.
"BEETLE" He called out.
A bug-like machine slowly moved towards Zelda, but she easily dodged it. Link was controlling it with a remote, but had difficulty turning it around. Instead, it went through Ghirahim's 300 year old stained glass window. Though this failed, Link wasn't going to let Zelda have another turn, instead...
"REMOTE"
Link threw the remote at Zelda, but missed and hit Ghirahim.
Zelda knew that there was some rule that said she could only use an attack once per fight, but ignored it.
"DIN'S FIRE AGAIN"
"Wait, you already used that-"
Again, the room was covered in the flames. Thankfully, Ghirahim managed to clear his valuables from the area by this time. Link was knocked to his knees, his already existing burns making Zelda's attack even worse.
Zelda then moved in for the finishing blow.
"SUNBURN SLAP"
Zelda slapped Link's burned skin, sending a shock wave of agony through his body. Link was unable to continue fighting, he fell to the floor in defeat.
"YOUR SOUL IS MINE!" Zelda shouted.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Zelda extended her hand and forcefully extracted Link's soul, absorbing it into her hand.
Everyone applauded. For a quick, half baked fight, that was pretty impressive.
"Now then," Demise began "Since you are done with fighting amongst yourselves, allow me to get down to the reason you are all here."
Groose was all ears, although he felt that this was just going to be some typical villain lecture.
"Ghirahim and I have been trying to reclaim our place in the world since Hylia banished us to the Underworld." Demise continued "We've been lying low in this cave ever since our escape, waiting for a chosen to come and challenge us. But due to some confusion as to who this chosen one even is, I sent to have all of you brought here."
"And what about Zelda?" Groose demanded.
"Yes, about Zelda..." Demise began.
Demise was cut short by a timely earthquake. The cave trembled until the ceiling gave in to unleash a blinding light upon the cavern.
"I have found you, demon! Prepare to die!" Declared a majestic voice from above.
"HYLIA!" Demise barked.
"Your Grace, why are you here?" Asked a confused Fi.
"Well, I told you to handle this," Hylia complained, pointing towards Link's lifeless husk. "But since you were too stupid to even find the right person, my chosen one is now DEAD!"
"So you mean... Link was the chosen one?" Asked Cawlin.
"Uhh... but Your Grace, I have found one who is far supererior." Fi pointed to Groose and the gang. "These remarkable boys have easily conquered-"
Hylia wasn't having it though.
"Shut up! I'm dealing with this myself! You can pick up your last check on Monday."
Hylia, with godly power, summoned an after shock to bring the cave down and ascended back to the heavens.
"EVERYONE GET OUT!" Demise shouted.
The entire group began to flee the cave as the rapidly collapsing ceiling came down in pieces