As Groose, Demise and Ghirahim lay defeated on the ground, Zelda was alone against the angry Hylia, but with all capable combatants down for the count, she stood no chance. Hylia was moments away from issuing the final strike when Zelda initiated her final resort.
Reason.
"Now DIE!" Shouted Hylia, summoning enough electric energy to incinerate the entire area.
"Hylia, Stop!" Zelda pleaded. "You don't know what you're doing here, we're humans! You can't just murder us, your sisters forbid it!"
"Silence!" Hylia barked "I am the goddess of this world and everything within; I will tolerate no conspiracy against my order, not even from my descendant!"
"And what would your sisters have to say about that?" Zelda countered "If you're such a being of laws, you'll face Groose in a fair fight!"
"I just did, you impudent child! And now I..."
Suddenly, a deep noise bellowed across the sky, causing Hylia's words to stop dead in her mouth.
"It appears that I have injured your friend in error." Hylia said with a shift in tone "I accept your invocation of fair combat. We shall duly settle this conflict at dawn."
Just as soon as she changed her attitude, Hylia vanished, as did the alien noise from above.
"And still they forsake me..." Demise lamented.
"What was that about?" Zelda asked, surprised to see that her verbal volley with Hylia ended in victory, even if only a temporary one.
"You have bound your friend to trial by combat." Said Ghirahim "It is the most ancient of rights; not even Hlyia may refuse its invocation."
Zelda, upon recalling her fast talking with Hylia, realised that she had thrown Groose into the the slaughter.
"Then that means... Oh gods, what do we do now?!"
"Fret not." Said Demise "Zelda, do you remember where Groose's two friends have gone?"
THE THREE BICEPS CASINO
Cawlin and Strich observed with satisfaction the new casino they had built; thanks to Groose and his lessons in quick construction, it was already open for business and filled with suckers. Of course, they weren't quite as skilled as Groose in rushed assembly, so they had the slight worry that their new establishment might tip over like a Chinese apartment complex later on.
"Cheers, bud." Said Strich as he handed a glass of scotch to Cawlin.
People from all over the area were already visiting the casino. The first ones to leave were Navi and Tatl who were still laughing their heads off at the sight of Fi working there so soon after their little confrontation.
Just then, the two saw Demise and Zelda approaching.
"Cawlin, Strich!" Zelda immediately asked "Where is Fi?"
"Fi is still on the clock, she's very busy." Said Strich, already sounding like a professional.
"The situation is urgent!" Demise interjected "We are to do battle with Hylia on the morrow and Fi is our only chance!"
Strich relented and called Fi out.
"You have visitors, Fi." He called via a pager.
When Fi emerged to answer her new boss, Zelda was appalled to see the state of the blue fae.
"F-F-Fi! Put some clothes on!" She stammered in outrage.
Cawlin shrugged "That was Strich's idea..."
"YOU PIG!" Shouted Zelda, hitting Strich.
"Oh must everyone come to gawk at me now?" Fi complained. "Let me guess, Navi and Tatl told you where I was..."
"No," Demise said "But you must come with us, our friend is in need of you now more than ever."
"Oh thank the gods, I couldn't stand another moment of this humiliation..." Fi said, relieved.
"You could just quit, you know..." Said Cawlin.
"Are you kidding me?" Retorted Fi "I'm already behind on my bills, and I'll probably never get anything better than this-"
Impatient, Demise interrupted "Fi, we have only until dawn to save this world, if you are going to assist us, we need you immediately!"
"Do you need our help?" Strich asked.
"That would be preferable, you would provide moral support if nothing else." Said Demise.
"Alright then, we'll close the casino NOW!"
Cawlin and Strich nodded towards each other. Strich pulled out a remote and pressed the button...
With a loud explosion, the Three Biceps Casino erupted in flames with people running out for dear life.
"I left my purse in there..." Fi sighed, now completely broke.
GHIRAHIM'S MOTHER'S BASEMENT- I MEAN, GHIRAHIM'S NEW LAIR
Groose was beating himself up over his failure earlier; he had completely let his friends down by letting Hylia beat him so easily. Granted, Hylia was a goddess, but surely he could have put up a much better fight than his previous performance. Ghirahim had brought him up to speed earlier, he knew he had only a day to prepare himself for the rematch.
The length of his borrowed time didn't matter to him, however. Groose knew he had finally reached his limit; the mountain he could not climb. His only choice in this matter was whether to face a warrior's death or to flee, just for a chance of living on in disgrace.
"Hey guys..." Groose grimly greeted as his friends entered the room.
"Snap out of it, Groose!" Cawlin shouted "You haven't been this low since Link won that race!"
Groose did not respond. He simply slumped down on his bed, not intending to get off of it any time soon.
"I know how to lift you up, Groose." Said Strich, with a clearing of his throat "You're weak! Zelda doesn't want you! your many years in the Knight Academy was a waste of time!"
Strich braced for impact, expecting to be struck by a newly energized Groose, but then... nothing...
"You're right, Strich..."
Cawlin and Strich were horrified, they had never seen Groose fall this hard. Was there no saving him?
"Master Groose, you can defeat Hylia." Fi assured "You simply haven't been using the proper tools."
With that, Fi handed Groose a pair of rubber gloves and a rain coat.
Groose was confused. "What are these for?"
"Hylia's favorite method of combat is electricity. If you can keep yourself insulated from her initial attacks, you can gain the upper hand with ease-"
"Fi..." Groose said quietly.
"Yes, master?"
"...I'm scared."
The room fell into silence. Fi didn't even know who she was talking to anymore. How could he say that?
Thankfully, it was Zelda's turn to speak; if she couldn't bring him out of his funk, then no one could.
"Groose...?" She asked "Are you okay?"
Again, Groose didn't respond.
"Listen to me Groose" She said in a tone he never heard from her before "I once thought you were some boneheaded jerk. But in these short few days, I've seen what you are capable of. You conquered entire cultures, built a theme park to mark your victory, and, and...
And you dove straight from Skyloft to save me..." Zelda said, feeling something she never felt before. "You may not be invincible, but that's what makes you who you are; you see a challenge and you rise to the occasion! I know you can defeat Hylia, you only need to believe it... just like we do."
Silence.
Just when the gang turned to walk out, they heard the shuffling of the bed.
"Heh, and to think I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself when I had a task at hand."
They turned back to Groose to see him off the bed reaching for his sword and Fi's rubber armor. The Groose was finally back!
"Just you wait, Zelda. You haven't seen anything yet!" Groose shouted.
THE BATTLEFIELD
Groose, Cawlin, Strich, Fi, Zelda, Demise, and Ghirahim stood together, waiting for Hylia to appear and administer their almost certain defeat. A nervous wreck, Groose was racking his thoughts; what if this really was to be the end of him? He was sure he had lived his life to the fullest, but there was something missing...
"It's up to you now, Groose."
Before Groose could go too far in thought, Hylia emerged from the sky, a storm cloud following her for climactic effect. Groose's blood boiled when he saw Hylia's cocky grin. The goddess was surely going to kill them all, and probably take sadistic pleasure in it.
"Your time has come, degenerate vermin!" The goddess declared "On this day, I shall weed out all remnants of rebellion and cleanse this planet of its parasites. My chosen shall populate the world under my rule, and the repugnant beasts that pollute the surface will be reminded of their place! This ends now!"
Just then, the deep sound that blared in the sky from the previous day had returned, adding an extra layer of ominous atmosphere.
"The eyes of the gods are upon us!" Demise said in surprise "...they are merely watching?"
When Hylia summoned a lightning bolt, Groose knew it was then or never. He thrust himself in the way of the bolt to protect his allies, successfully nullifying the attack.
"WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED? WHY DIDN'T IT WORK?!" Hylia screamed.
Groose saw an opening and jumped towards Hylia in the midst of her disbelief. With one strike of his elbow, he sent Hylia plummeting to the ground.
"AAAAAAAARRRGH! YOU STUPID IDIOT! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!" Hylia said, her short fuse now run out.
Hylia continued to rapidly shoot out more lighting bolts at Groose with no success; her opponent remained unharmed and well insulated against even her most powerful of currents. With each attack, however, Hylia grew more and more frenzied.
"WHY. WON'T. YOU. DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!"
"Your electric attacks are no different from your tyranny, Hylia. You choose the paths that offer no resistance!" Groose said, feeling confident once more "But when we stand strong, your words of power aren't worth the wind that carries them!"
Upon Groose's inspirational speech, the remainder the heroes took a bold stance behind their leader, unsubtly symbolizing their support. Hylia was about to bark another impotent threat, but her empty hokum was quickly contained when she finally noticed the material of which Groose's battle armor was made.
"Heh... impressive theatrics for one who doesn't believe in speech." She replied, regaining her composure "You are quite right, Hero, the words of authority have no meaning to the rebellious."
Hylia then conjured a ball of fire in her hand.
"But make no mistake..." She continued "I know precisely how to handle the likes of you!"
Hylia blew upon the flame in her palm with breath as strong as a typhoon, sending out a makeshift flamethrower towards her enemies.
"Duck!" Groose shouted as they all jumped out of the fire's path with only a second to spare.
All except Cawlin.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"CAWLIN!" Strich cried.
Groose looked back to see that Cawlin had been directly struck by Hylia's attack and was frantically rolling about in attempt to smother the flames he had been engulfed in. Thinking quickly, Demise and Ghirahim immediately began reciting a healing spell.
"Minag Minah, Minag Hakhess, Kahmih Minag!" They repeatedly chanted in unison.
By the time the fire had extinguished, Cawlin's body had been covered in third degree burns that seemingly could not be healed by the two demons incantations.
"WAHAHAHA!" Hylia laughed "Some hero you are!"
"HYLIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Groose screamed, recklessly charging straight towards her.
Well prepared, Hylia casually extended her hand and caught Groose by the throat, instantly stopping and knocking the wind out of him. With ease, she lifted Groose up by the neck, ready to make a killing blow.
"You have LOST, oh servant of Demise" She gloated "And now I demonstrate the true extent of my wrath- ...what?"
The ground rumbled to the rhythm of a thousand feet marching together, momentarily distracting Hylia enough for Groose to escape her clutches and attempt to catch his breath. Everyone looked to the West to see a legion of small creatures heading straight for them.
"The cavalry's here!" Declared Midna, hovering above an army of Kikwi and Minish.
"Stay out of this, you heathens!" Hylia ineffectually ordered.
"You have deceived us, Hylia!" Bucha accused. "You lead us into your war only to leave us in the rubble!"
"And then you claimed that wreckage for yourself and enslaved us all!" The Minish Elder corroborated.
At Midna's call, her newly forced armies ran into the scene, surrounding Hylia and and having her overrun in mere seconds. Hylia fought well against the swarm, and even managed to kill a few, but the sheer number of them was too much even for a goddess.
Groose then moved in for the finishing blow. He pulled out his beloved comb and ran it through her hair. With a hair straightener and some black hair dye he had brought along, he destroyed her perfect locks, leaving behind what Groose liked to call the "Ebony Dark'ness."
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?! NOW EVERYONE'S GOING TO THINK I'M SOME POUTY GOTH!" Hylia shouted, her very sanity now beginning to deplete.
"ENOOOOOOOUGH!" She screeched, sending out a deafening soundwave that was powerful enough to clear her person of assailants.
"You will all pay for your insolence... ALL OF YOU! PAY!"
The sky grew dark; more so than it had previously been.
"I WILL DO WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE MILLENNIA AGO! I WILL RID MYSELF OF YOU REPULSIVE CREATURES ONCE AND FOR ALL!" Hylia screamed. Sending down a lightning storm the likes of which was not normally possible.
Powerful bolts shot from the sky by the hundreds, frying anything they happened to make contact with, including many Kikwi and Minish. Groose was barely able to dodge these strikes, thanks to Hylia no longer being of sound enough mind to aim them at anything in particular.
"DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!" Hylia repeatedly rambled.
Just then, as all seemed to be lost, the aerial strikes suddenly came to a stop. Instead, golden chains projected from the clouds that locked themselves onto Hylia, binding her and forcing her back to the ground.
"OUR JUDGEMENT HAS PASSED!" Called a strong voice from above.
"Din...?" Demise gasped.
Dispelling the dark clouds and shining bright as the Sun, the three elder goddesses themselves descended upon the battlefield. Nayru spoke next.
"HYLIA, OUR SISTER. YOU WERE GIVEN MANY OPPORTUNITIES TO CHANGE YOUR WAYS, BUT YOU HAVE TIME AND AGAIN BETRAYED OUR TRUST."
"YOUR FATE HAS BEEN DECIDED." Said Farore "TEN THOUSAND YEARS YOU WILL SPEND IN THE BOTTOMLESS PIT."
Before she could even make an argument, Hylia was then teleported away in a flash of light. Groose, knowing the battle was over, finally remembered what happened earlier and rushed to Cawlin's side, only to find that his friend was...
"He didn't make it..." Strich grimly said.
Tears welled up in Groose's eyes as he held his fallen friend in his arms.
(How could this have happened...?) He asked himself.
Groose, in the midst of his battle, had abandoned his friend to die. Indeed, he meant only to avoid Hylia's attack, but there was no rationalization that could ease his guilt. It was his fault, he knew; if not for grandstanding speech...
Perhaps Hylia really was too big for him; after all, he couldn't have even survived without the Kikwi and Minish.
"We'll meet again in Valhalla, Cawlin..."
Knowing that thanks were in order, Groose pulled himself together and turned to express his gratitude to the saviors.
"Midna, Bucha, Oldster... thank you. I could never have finished her by Myself. Even though it was against the rules of the battle, you saved me... And I am eternally in your debt."
"You may have conquered us with force," Machi said "But you could never have treated us any worse than Hylia did."
But Midna laughed, "Hee hee hee, I'm always here to help. And Groose... can I ask a favor of you?"
"Of course, I owe you all my life." Groose said in respect.
"Can you help me clean my garage?" She requested.
Meanwhile, Demise and Ghirahim were speaking with the goddesses.
"BROTHER DEMISE." Nayru began "IN SPITE OF YOUR SISTER, YOU HAVE REMAINED TRUE TO YOUR FAITH IN THIS WORLD, EVEN AS YOU LOST FAITH IN US."
"YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF WORTHY IN OUR EYES." Said Farore "IN LIGHT OF YOUR EFFORTS, YOUR LIFE AND GODHOOD SHALL BE RESTORED."
"BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE." Din concluded "YOUR OWN TRANSGRESSIONS HAVE NOT BEEN FORGOTTEN, YOU WOULD DO WELL TO BEAR THAT IN MIND."
"I understand, my sisters... Thank you." Demise said an acceptance, though still feeling slightly resentful over their abandonment in the past.
With that, the goddesses returned to the heavens, leaving Demise and Ghirahim to realize that all the others had already departed.
MIDNA'S HOUSE
After giving Cawlin a proper burial, Groose, Strich, Fi, and Zelda were cleaning out Midna's garage as she requested.
"You know Groose..." Strich said "I've been thinking; everyone hated Hylia for enslaving the whole world, but we've displaced so many, took their lands, and built our own monuments in their place. Are we really any better than she was...?"
"Of course we are, silly" Groose said, lightly punching Strich on the shoulder "Hylia only enslaved the creatures of Earth because they didn't accept her as their god. We're not like that though, we're equal opportunity conquerers! We don't play favorites, nobody with land is safe from us!" Groose declared.
"That's great and all..." Fi sighed "But I still need a job. Cawlin and Strich blew up the casino... for some reason... do any of have an idea of what I can do?"
"Hey, if you're looking for employment, I might have something for you." Zelda offered "You see, I'm going to be a new teacher at the Knight's Academy soon and I could use an assistant! Especially one that had a part in our world's most recent war."
Fi thought for a moment. "Nah, I'll just see about the Lumpy Pumkin once it's rebuilt."
Zelda then turned to Groose, who was lifting a broken tractor outside.
"You know Groose, I don't think I properly thanked you for what you've done..."
With that, Groose and Zelda finally shared their first kiss. It was awesome for all of two seconds until Zelda backed away in disgust.
"Ugh! I know you didn't have the chance to brush your teeth, but come on!"
And with that, they all shared a good laugh, one that would normally be enjoyed at the end of such a long and arduous adventure.
Such was merely the beginning for these heroes and their new lives of grand escapades; awaiting them were many other stories to be forever etched into the hearts and minds of the future generations. Tales of love, laughter, loss, and real estate ventures.
But it was this trial that Groose held to his heart most favorably; he took great pride in his masculinity, but in experiencing his own mortality and flaws, he at last discovered what it truly means to be a man. To defend the weak, even in the face of death. To hear the wisdom of others, no matter the greatness of his pride. But mostly importantly, to put all other before himself. Such would be his most defining traits as the first emperor of Grooseland.
"Hey wait a second!" Said Strich "I hate to interrupt the moment, but we might want to start discussing the logistics of building a metropolitan empire in the middle of a completely uncharted jungle. This just seems a little... unrealistic."
That, dear boy, is a story for the sequel.