title | the ineffable rapture of heaven & earth
series | no series
chapter | five. heap earth upon it
author | moirataliesin 「fka mallowcakes/inkcapgoblin」
fandom | supernatural
pairing | m/m, dean winchester/castiel 「destiel」
rating | eventually r
genre | romance
warnings | eventual m/m smut
word count | 1.8k
summary | castiel & dean are transported to another dimension where they have apparently lived for 5 years. together. as a married couple. there's no magic, castiel's angel powers aren't working, and somehow they know everything about the lives they've been pushed into. so, what the hell is going on here? and how can the get out?
notes | thanks goes out to my betas, chelsey-jorax diggory and musingfangirl. double thank you to my friend, brohne, for being a pair of second eyes and turning me on to some great inspirational music.
for more of this, and things like it, check out my profile.
as always, likes and comments are appreciated and encouraged.
It had been a little more than two months since Dean got into the minor car accident. Since then Castiel had Dean's car taken to the shop to be fixed for him when he was feeling better. He had also fell into the happy pattern of going into work every morning to open the shop, staying for about an hour to check on things, and then going home to help Dean out.
He could tell Dean both appreciated and hated everything he had to do for him. It was excruciating for him to be babied in such a way and when he finally could walk without help again the first thing he did was call Leon and plan a double date night. The two of them conspired together to surprise Dahlia and Cas, keeping where they were going very hush hush.
The morning before the date Castiel got a call from Forest reminding him about the book club meeting that afternoon. He was freaking out in the kitchen when Dean walked in.
"The book club is meeting is here tonight." He said with panic in his voice as Dean walked in the kitchen. "I totally forgot and there's no way I'm bailing on the date."
Cas' expression went full puppy dog at the thought of not getting to go.
"I'll take care of it." Dean said, grabbing his phone and typing out a text, "Leon and Dahl will pick me up and we'll go to a bar. Get out of your hair. You'll meet us after and we'll go out."
"I love it when you take charge." Cas said, sticking his tongue out at Dean, something he had started doing when he was being playful. Something that was so not a Cas thing to do that Dean couldn't help but grin ear-to-ear when he did.
"Oh I bet you do." Dean said, raising his eyebrows.
Cas smiled, "Well, I put your clothes in the bathroom down here so you can get ready. I'm going to make some hors d'oeuvres before the book club."
"Sounds good, dimples." He said nonchalantly as he made his way to the bathroom.
The angel's heart leapt into his throat at the nickname. He still wasn't used to the way Dean treated him in their white-picket fence life. He still wasn't entirely sure how to act or what to say. He was so scared he was going to do something. Make the wrong move. Do something wrong to cause the Dean that he was used to would bust through the facade.
"You okay there, Cas?" Dean's voice broke through his thoughts, causing him to jump.
"Yes, Dean." Cas replied, his gaze falling to the ground for fear of Dean being able to read his expression. He gathered the little bit of courage that he had and took a step forward, straight into Dean's personal space, and lifted his eyes to stare into Dean's.
It was something that was so intrinsically and truly Castiel that Dean felt as though he was punched in the stomach. Dean thought that maybe he should say something to diffuse the tension but he couldn't. It was as if his stomach was empty. Empty and punched.
It should have been awkward. If it was anyone else it would have been. But this was Cas. His Cas. And between the two of them every unspoken word hung in the air like smoke.
What could either of them say?
How could Castiel explain that the pretending was starting to make him feel sick inside? That deep down he wanted to kiss him? Hard. That he wanted to touch his face and tell him that he was truly a good person? To heal him with whispers and a soft touch instead of his useless angel powers that could never heal what was really wrong? That he wanted to press his body up again Dean's and bare down on him with reckless abandon until they were both completely spent? How could he say that to a man like Dean?
How could Dean tell Castiel that after all these years of being the good tin soldier he wanted nothing more than to be held? That when he felt Cas beside him at night he no longer had the nightmares? That he made him forget what hell was like? Even just for a few minutes. An hour. A second. He gave him that small relief of forgetting that he had done some remarkably terrible things. That maybe the reason that he hadn't been looking for a way out is because part of him didn't want one? And maybe, just maybe, if he pretended hard enough his angel would want him too?
How could either of them speak what was in their minds? That they weren't quite sure when it stopped being pretend?
Dean started to speak. He wanted to say something snarky and dark and sarcastic. He wanted to invoke his father. He wanted to cry. He wanted to fight and spit and be angry and just... just... ugh. But he couldn't. He couldn't lie about this. He couldn't hurt Castiel this time. He suddenly wanted to plant his lips on Cas'. He leaned forward slightly, He wanted to run his tongue along the angel's bottom lip and see if he tasted how he smelled.
Castiel stood there. Confused. He looked into the hunter's eyes and didn't see him there. His mouth felt dry. His lips felt dry. He ran his tongue over them as his heart pounded harder in his chest.
As if to aid his inability to make a decision, the doorbell rang and the magic was broken. Their bodies went stiff as Dean cleared his throat and went to answer the door.
"What in God's name did you think you were doin', boy?" Bobby half-shouted at Sam when, after a week of dodging, he finally admitted what he had done.
"I think I was giving Cas and Dean some alone time." Sam said, raising his eyebrows and gesturing with his hands.
"God knows they need it but you don't mess with the magics." Bobby said, a little more calm as he poured himself some scotch, "How can you be sure nothin' will go wrong?"
"It was done with good intent and as such should have a good outcome." Sam replied, "You know as well as I do how that kind of thing works."
Bobby sighed and took a sip of the alcohol, "I guess. But we've got to get them out of there."
"There's no way." Sam told him, he shook his head, "They come out when whatever is supposed to happen, happens."
"Well, when is that?" Bobby's calm broke slightly.
"There's no way to tell. It's just got to happen on it's own. Also, time is different there. Every day here could be a month or longer there. So hopefully soon."
"You bet your ass hopefully soon. Of all the fool ideas." Bobby downed the rest of his drink.
The doorbell rang just as Castiel was putting the last of the snacks on the coffee table. He smiled at the spread before going to answer the door. He had a lot of tiny hor'dourves, homemade cheddar crackers, and an ice bucket with wine coolers and soda.
Opening the door, Scarlet, Tony, and Forest were standing there together. Behind them, walking up to join was Ashlee and Julie.. Forest mumbled a short apology as he had let it slip to Roger what day the meeting was. Everyone knew that Castiel was trying to avoid Julie at all costs. She had her eye on Castiel and he just wanted her to stay at her fucking house.
He cursed under his breath but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and let her come to the meeting.
They all had their books with them, 'Phantoms' by Dean Koontz is what they had to read that month. Castiel had liked it but it didn't really scare him after everything they'd been through in their actual lives. It made him almost miss it. Almost. It wasn't that he wanted to go back to slipping in and out of Dean's life. It wasn't that he wanted to leave this almost perfect daily existence with no wars and complete free will. He had faith that that would happen eventually somehow and it would kill him.
What he missed was the times when Dean would stare back into his eyes and swallow that uncomfortable swallow and the dance from what foot to the other when the stare broke away. He missed Dean's voice in his head calling for him when he was on the brink of loneliness. He missed the fleeting thought he kept in the secret locked part of his mind that one of the nights he and Dean would find themselves bloodied after a fight. Sam somewhere else. In an alleyway. In the rain. Dean breathing against the dirty bricks of a seedy motel and steadying himself with the side of a dumpster as Castiel ground his hips into Dean's until he lost himself inside of him.
He didn't really participate in the discussion, he was lost in his thoughts. He let the others say what they want and nibble on his food, nodding every now and then if someone looked at him. He was so out of it that Julia didn't even bother to try anything if she had been planning it.
As he was cleaning up after everyone left, he thought to himself maybe she had decided to give up.
Castiel was so happy that he felt like he was floating instead of walking to the bar. He wasn't sure where Dean was taking them but he didn't care. The fact that he was taking him somewhere that could be considered a date was enough, even if it was just for looks he cared enough to make it a surprise.
When he walked into The Watering Hole he was actually surprised to find that Dean and their two friends had only nursed a few drinks as they waited for him to get there. Dean had drank quite a bit while he was out of commission so Castiel was sure he would be at least a little drunk by the time he arrived. Secretly, Castiel hoped that it was because Dean wanted to be sober for their date.
"Cas!" Dean called out, meeting eyes with the angel and waving his hand in the air.
"Heya, Castiel." Leon called, turning to see as Castiel walked up and scooted in beside his husband, "You want a drink before we head out?"
"No thank you." Cas replied, smiling,
"You sure, Castiel?" Dahlia said, downing a shot of dark brown liquid, "We're buying."
Castiel laughed at her and leaned forward, "Yeah, I'm sure. So, did you manage to get it out of them?"
She laughed and put her arm around Leon, "Oh, you know I haven't. He's a hard egg to crack. You got the pushover, I thought for sure you'd get it out of him."
"I'm the pushover?!" Dean chuckled, "Did you hear that Leo? I'm the pushover."
"Hey! You're not implying that I'm the pushover, I hope." Leon drank the last of his beer and wiped his beard. "You were the guy that let out that we were taking them to London last year. How dare you, sir. I am offended."
He laughed and turned to step out of the booth, "I'm going to go pay the tab and then we'll get going."