YAY! IT IS TIME TO GO ALL CAPS MODE. BECAUSE I HAVE AN EPIC STORY INVOLVING ASH AND HIS ADORABLE BAYLEEF THAT LOVES HIM SO MUCH THAT HE WOULD RATHER GO TO MY BOYFRIEND WITH EIGHT DICKS. HOW DARE HE? ESPECIALLY WHEN HE COULD HAVE SOMEONE LIKE BAYLEEF!

I KNOW IT'S POKEPHILIA, BUT I DON'T CARE. IT'S WEIRD, BUT HOT. JUST AS HOT AS MY BOYFRIEND'S EIGHT DICKS, OR GRANNY HARRY STYLES' MICROPENIS. ALSO, I GOT THIS IDEA THANKS TO MY FAIRY GODMOTHER BRENTALFLOSS, WHO BELIEVES THAT TOAD IS GAY AND BELONGS TOGETHER WITH MARIO. EVERYBODY KNOWS MARIO IS GAY. MARIO X PEACH IS BULLCRAP, SINCE PEACH IS SUCH A LEZ, JUST LIKE DAISY. AND MARIO IS THE GAYEST PLUMBER EVER.

ALSO, GROUND CONTROL TO FOX MCCLOUD. GROUND CONTROL TO FOX MCCLOUD. DON'T FORGET THAT FANCY SCARF YOU LIKE TO WEAR.

ANYWAYS, WHILE BAYLEEF WALKED THROUHG PROFESSOR OAK'S LAB, SHE SAW OAK FUCKING DELIA, ASH'S MOTHER. MEANWHILE, IN DELIA'S HOUSE, ASH WAS CALLING MISTY WHILE CLOPPING AND MR. MIME TOOK A BREAK FROM TROLLING AMERICA, AFTER PRETENDING TO BE DONALD TRUMP FOR FOUR YEARS.

BAYLEEF HATED THE MIME CLOWN. SHE WAS THE BIGGEST SOCIALIST AND FEMINIST IN THE POKEMON WORLD.

WHILE WALKING TO ASH'S HOUSE, SHE FANTASIZED ABOUT BODY SLAMMING HIM AND GOT A WET CLOYSTER. SHE SMASHED THE DOOR, HOPING TO SEE ASH, BUT SAW THAT HE WAS NAKED, CLOPPING WHILE WATCHING MISTY CLOP ON SKYPE. AND SO, SHE GOT MAD AND WANTED TO GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A METAPOD. SHE WENT BACK TO OAK'S LAB, IGNORING THE PROFESSOR AND THE POSTER OF VICKY POLLARD AND HER TEN TITS, THE FURRET WALKING BY, THE FUCK YEAH SEAKING AT THE LAKE, YOUNGSTER JOEY AND HIS BOTTOM PERCENTAGE RATTATA AND ALL OTHER POKEMON MEMES, UNTIL SHE SAW BULBASAUR.

'SAUR SAUR!' THE SMALL GRASS POKEMON SHOUTED, MEANING THAT HE WANTED BAYLEEF TO COME INTO HIS BULBABUTT. AND SO, BAYLEEF USED HER VINE WHIP TO SPANK THE NAUGHTY KANTO STARTER. SPANKING... THAT TURNED DELIA ON. AND ME, SINCE I LOVE IT WHEN I GET SPANKED BY MY BOYFRIEND'S EIGHT DICKS.

THEN, BAYLEEF REALIZED THAT BULBASAUR WAS A DISAPPOINTMENT, WITH HIS BULBABUTT. SHE WANTED ASH AND NO ONE ELSE. SHE ASKED HER FAIRY GODMOTHER BRENTALFLOSS FOR HELP ON HOW TO SEDUCE ASH. BRENTALFLOSS BURST OUT INTO A SONG ABOUT TETRIS BEING PERFECT FOR CHICKS AND ABOUT UNLOCKING THE T-SPOT, GETTING WOMEN TO SING BECAUSE THEY LOVE TETRIS. THEN, HE SUNG A SONG ABOUT INFECTING EVERYONE WITH STD'S.

BAYLEEF WAS PISSED OFF. IF HE WAS GOING TO SING, AT LEAST SING SPACE ODDITY, HER FAVOURITE SONG. AND SO, BRENTALFLOSS SUNG HER FAVOURITE SONG, BUT NOT BOWIE'S ORIGINAL. HE SUNG ABOUT FOX MCCLOUD AND THAT FANCY SCARF HE LIKED TO WEAR. AFTER ROFL (ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING), BAYLEEF RAN AWAY FROM OAK'S LAB AND WENT BACK TO DELIA'S HOUSE, WHERE ASH AND MISTY WERE HAVNG SEXY TIME OVER SKYPE. THE GRASS POKEMON SMASHED THE DOOR AND ENTERED THE ROOM, ONLY TO SEE MISTY PINCHING HER NIPS WHEN ASH TOLD HER TO. THE POKEMON HEARD HOW BOTH TRAINERS WERE MOANING LOUDLY, EVEN LOUDER THAN ME WHEN MY BOYFRIEND PUTS ALL OF HIS EIGHT DICKS IN ME AT THE SAME TIME.

'BAY!' THE POKEMON SHOUTED. AND SO, ASH WAS SHOCKED. 'IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, BAYLEEF!' HE SCREAMED.

'BAY!' THE JEALOUS POKEMON SAID.

'NO, I'M JUST ENJOYING MISTY'S BOOBS IN AN ARTISTIC WAY. LIKE SAKURA BUM'S BOYFRIEND AND HIS NAKED FEMALE BEST FRIEND, WHO HAS THE BIGGEST NATURAL BOOBS ON THE PLANET,' ASH LIED, WHILE STRING SHOT WAS LEAKING OUT OF HIS CATERPIE.

BAYLEEF WAS PISSED OFF. SHE USED HER VINE WHIP TO TURN OFF ASH'S LAPTOP, ENDING THE KINKY CALL WITH MISTY. 'BAY!'

'BAYLEEF! YOU RUINED MY SEXY TIME! MISTY WAS DRENCHED, AND WAS GOING TO SHOW ME HER WET CLOYSTER USING SURF!' ASH SHOUTED.

THE TRAINER WAS EVEN ANGRIER THAN MY GRANDMOTHER HARRY STYLES WHEN SOMEBODY SAID THEY DIDN'T LIKE ONE DIRECTION.

THEN, BAYLEEF USED HER VINE WHIP TO CARRY ASH AND RAN TOWARDS OAK'S LAB, BARGING INTO THE BEDROOM, WHERE OAK WAS MAKING DELIA MOAN BY RUBBING HER NIPS.

AT FIRST, DELIA AND THE PROFESSOR HAD NO IDEA THAT SOMEONE WAS IN THE ROOM. DELIA KEPT MOANING AND BEGGED OAK TO SPANK HER BULBABUTT, UNTIL OAK NOTICED AND PULLED THE BLANKET OVER HIMSELF TO COVER HIS METAPOD. 'FUCK, WE GOT CAUGHT!'

THEN, DELIA SAID: 'HI ASH, LOOK! I'VE GOT A BOYFRIEND!'

'DELIA, WHY DID YOU SAY THAT? WE AGREED TO NOT TELL ANYBODY, ASIDE FROM BAYLEEF AND SAKURA BUM!'

'ASH FOUND OUT ANYWAYS. BAYLEEF MUST'VE TOLD HIM.'

'ASH, YOU'VE BEEN TEN FOR TWENTY YEARS NOW,' OAK SAID. 'SO IT'S TIME THAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS. YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE BEEN FUCKING BEHIND YOUR BACK FOR TWENTY YEARS NOW.'

'WHAT'S FUCKING?' ASH ASKED.

'WELL, WHAT HAPPENS AT THE DAY CARE, YOU KNOW,' DELIA SAID, WHILE LOOKING AT OAK'S POSTERS OF VICKY POLLARD, ERIC CARTMAN AND A POSTER OF MY GRANDMOTHER HARRY STYLES AND HIS PARTNER LIAM, AND THEIR MISTRESSES ZAYN AND LOUIS.

'COOL POSTERS IN YOUR BEDROOM, PROFESSOR OAK!' ASH NOTICED.

'YEAH, I LOVE CRAPPY BOYBANDS AND THAT KIND OF CRAPPY POP. I'VE ALSO BEEN TO A JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT WHEN HE PERFORMED IN CELADON CITY LAST YEAR.'

'BAY BAY!' BAYLEEF SHOUTED. SHE HATED CRAPPY POP. SHE LISTENED TO QUEEN, DAVID BOWIE AND OTHER QUALITY MUSIC. SHE ALWAYS HATED IT WHEN PROFESSOR OAK WAS LISTENING TO JUSTIN BIEBER WHILE FEEDING THE POKEMON. OR EVEN WORSE, PROFESSOR OAK SINGING 'BABY BABY BABY OH,' SOME CRAPPY SONG BY JUSTIN BIEBER, THAT CANADIAN SINGER WHO ONCE HAD SEX WITH MY GRANDMA HARRY STYLES.

'BUT BAYLEEF, JUSTIN BIEBER AND HARRY STYLES ARE AWESOME. AND HARRY STYLES HAS A VERY TALENTED GRANDDAUGHTER, THE FAMOUS AUTHOR SAKURA BUM. SHE GAVE ME AN AUTHOGRAPH DURING A MEET AND GREET IN VIRIDIAN CITY LAST WEEK.'

'BAYLEEF, I AGREE. OAK IS FUCKING HOT, BUT HIS TASTE IN MUSIC IS AFWUL. I PREFER QUEEN AS WELL. NOW DO THE MARCH OF THE DRAG QUEEN... I MEAN BLACK QUEEN... THAT'S THE BEST ALBUM TRACK EVER.'

'HEY, DELIA! DON'T YOU LIE TO ME! YOU ONCE SAID JUSTIN BIEBER WAS HOT AND EVEN FANGIRLED WHEN WE WENT TO THE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TOGETHER!' OAK SAID.

'I JUST THINK JUSTIN BIEBER IS HOT,' DELIA SAID. 'BUT HIS MUSIC SUCKS. THAT'S HOW MOST FANGIRLS FEEL, JUST LIKE ONE DIRECTION FANS. THEY JUST LIKE THE GUYS, NOT THE MUSIC. THEY ONLY LISTEN TO THE MUSIC BECAUSE THEY THINK THE GUYS ARE HOT.'

'ASH, BAYLEEF, CAN YOU TWO PLEASE FUCK OFF? DELIA IS WET, AND I WANT TO GET MY HAND IN THERE,' OAK SNAPPED.

WHEN ASH AND BAYLEEF WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM, ASH SAW SERENA, MY BOYFRIEND WITH EIGHT DICKS.

SERENA, THE BITCH WHO KEPT TROLLING MISTY AND HARRASSING ASH. AND SO, BAYLEEF DECIDED TO DO HER TRAINER A FAVOUR AND USED RAZOR LEAF TO CHOP OFF ALL OF MY BOYFRIEND'S EIGHT DICKS. THEN, ANOTHER RAZOR LEAF CUT OFF ALL OF SERENA'S HAIR.

AND SO, SERENA RAN HOME CRYING, WAITING FOR ME TO COMFORT HER AND TELL HER THAT SHE'S STILL HOT WITHOUT DICKS AND WITHOUT HAIR. WITH A WIG AND A DRESS, SHE WAS STILL THE BEST DRAG QUEEN EVER, AND I STILL SANG THE MARCH OF THE DRAG QUEEN BY QUEEN.

THEN, BAYLEEF USED VINE WHIP TO DRAG ASH BACK TO HIS ROOM. BAYLEEF PUT ON A QUEEN ALBUM WITH THE SONG 'GET DOWN, MAKE LOVE' AND USED BODY SLAM ON HER TRAINER. THEN, THE POKEMON SCREAMED FROM JOY.

'BAY! BAY!'