"At one hundred, surely you learn to overcome loss and grief - or do they hound you till the bitter end?"
― André Aciman, Call Me by Your Name
"Hi, Harry."
Harry looked up from the class schedule he was currently trying to create, to see Luna sitting on the chair that was usually reserved for his students when they visited him during office hours.
He blinked stupidly, startled to find her there since he hasn't even noticed her come in. How long had she been sitting there?
"Um... hello."
"It's so peaceful here, and you've been so lost in your work, I didn't want to interrupt you. But if we don't move now, I fear Draco may bust a vein in his forehead. You know how he is."
Oh. Right. The date.
Harry sighed as he remembered that he had agreed to go on a double date with the two of them and one of Draco's friends. He still wasn't sure why he had done such a thing, since he barely tolerated Draco on the best of days, and he couldn't imagine one of his friends being any better.
On the other hand, Luna was Draco's girlfriend, something he still had a hard time believing, so maybe the man wasn't so bad.
Luna was still sitting there, her big, blue eyes gazing intently somewhere over his shoulder and Harry had to force himself not to turn around and check if something was behind him. There was nothing there or at least nothing he could see.
He jumped to his feet, hurrying through the door in the corner leading to his private rooms, almost falling in his haste to get ready. He may be friends with Malfoy now, but if he had to endure another one of the man's lectures on tardiness, he would curse him. And seeing that Luna loved him for some insane reason, that would be bad.
He took a quick shower before going to his closet to pick out something to wear. That's when he hit a roadblock. He stood there, eyeing his clothes, unsure what would be appropriate. If it were up to him, he would have just thrown on one of his jeans and a t-shirt, something comfortable and cozy. But seeing as this was Malfoy's friend, he had a strong suspicion that wouldn't be well received.
So, after another ten minutes, he decided on one of his work outfits, a button-down shirt, and pants, shrugging his shoulders once he was dressed and standing in front of a mirror.
That's as good as it's gonna get.
He eyed his hair, frowning at the mess but there really wasn't anything he could do about it. So, he didn't even bother, and just threw his cloak on and left his rooms.
•
"Did you really ride a dragon?"
Harry nodded in answer, his mouth conveniently full of food, not that it really mattered seeing as the man went on, talking his ear off. Harry glared at the blond sitting across from him, the male one since he wasn't even sure Luna would notice, lost in her world as she was.
This was all Malfoy's fault.
At least the man seemed to have realized that this had probably been a mistake, staring at his friend in horror.
The night had started out well enough. They had agreed to meet with Draco's friend, Loui, at the Three Broomsticks for dinner and drinks. The man had already been there, of course, seeing as they were late because of Harry, something Draco was quick to point out, but Loui didn't seem to mind.
Rosemerta was quick to give them a table in a corner, away from the crowd, and they ordered food and drinks. That's when the torture started.
It turned out that Loui was nothing like Malfoy; he was much, much worse. And seeing as Malfoy had been his nemesis for the better part of Harry's life, that was saying something.
Loui was a fan. A big fan, something that became quite obvious when he started pestering Harry with questions.
What was it like, fighting You-know-who?
Were you scared?
Did you really die?
Did you really break into the Ministry, multiple times?
It was torture, of the worst kind and Harry would know, after all, he had been tortured on various occasions and as he sat there, being bombarded with questions as if he was being interviewed by Rita and not on a date, he started wishing Voldemort was still alive and had him under Crutiatus curse; it would have hurt less.
The two hours passed in excruciating pace, and once they were done with dinner and standing in front of the restaurant, Harry was barely holding himself from cursing the damn idiot.
"Don't.", he growled once the three of them were on their way back to the castle, after saying goodbye to Loui.
Draco, who was about to say something wisely closed his mouth, his eyes still a bit wider than usual as if he still couldn't believe what he had just witnessed.
Maybe this would be enough to finally convince him that Harry wasn't overreacting about his love life or the lack of it.
It all started after the battle; if Harry thought that he had been famous before, it was nothing to what came after. Once the dust had settled and the people stopped celebrating the end of the war, and there was a lot of celebration, Harry had never seen so many people drunk for days, the reporters came.
He was hounded non-stop, his face splashed on every cover of every newspaper known to wizardkind proclaiming him the man-who-lived-TWICE! It was a nightmare. They wanted to know everything about him and not just the stuff related to the war.
Then the lunatics came out of the woodworks, sending him letters, love potions, offers of marriage, basically stalking him, even breaking into his house a few times, and wasn't that just wonderful, until he had enough and moved to the muggle world.
He bought a small, one-story house just outside of London, with a beautiful garden he actually enjoyed maintaining, not like during his days at the Dursley's. It was peaceful and quiet, and completely his.
Even after he moved back to Hogwarts, a year ago, he never even considered selling the place; it was his little sanctuary, the first thing that was just his and he would always cherish it.
Thankfully, Hogwarts wards were the best in the country, so he didn't even think twice before accepting the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. He wasn't sure if he had what it took to be a teacher, afraid of mucking things up, or not raising up to the challenge, but he wanted to try.
He still remembered how good it felt to teach his peers during the Umbridge rule, the sense of accomplishment and pride he felt when one of his friends succeeded in casting a spell or a charm. He wanted to feel like that again so he accepted the job and he never looked back.
It had been hard at first; the work consisted of more than just teaching. There were class schedules to make, plans, homework, and grading, a top of trying to have order in the classroom and actually teach them anything instead of answering their questions about his life and the incessant hero-worshiping.
But he did it, and here he was again, back in the castle, about to start his second year.
"Is it always like that?", Draco asked quietly as they entered the teacher's lounge which was thankfully empty, a pot of tea already waiting for them on the small coffee table near the fireplace.
Thank Merlin for house-elves.
"Pretty much.", Harry said, taking a seat in one of the armchairs closes to the fireplace, feeling curiously colder than he should be for the time of the year, even if they were in Scotland.
He took off his glasses, pinching the bridge of his nose, as he sighed. He was tired, so very tired of his life, and not for the first time he thought about just saying fuck it to all and going to live as a muggle and not just in the muggle world.
"I... I never... I'm sorry Potter. Had I known; I never would have suggested this. Loui has been my friend since we were kids, and I never got the impression that he was a fan. Your fan.", Malfoy said, a look on his face one of utter disgust as if just the thought of anyone being a fan of Harry's made him sick to his stomach.
Harry couldn't help but smile, grateful that at least Malfoy would never really change, a small comfort, but comfort nevertheless. He didn't know what he would have done if the man started simpering after him. Kill him and then himself, most probably.
"I'm used to it by now.", Harry shrugged. It was what it was, and he could do nothing but accept it, something that had taken him a long time to come to terms with.
"Just promise me never to try setting me up again."
"I promise.", Malfoy instantly agreed his expression still a bit sickly, making Harry laugh.
•
Harry nodded to Professor Flitwick as he took a seat next to the man, setting his bag next to his chair and pulling out the class plans and schedule he would need.
It was two days before the term was to start and all the Professors were back in the castle for the last-minute planning.
"Had a good summer, Harry?", Filius asked, a jovial smile on his face as he took a sip of his tea.
Harry nodded, still a bit taken aback whenever one of the professors used his first name and expected the same of him. He still felt like a student some days, especially in the company of the same people that just three years before were his teachers. But thankfully he wasn't the only one of his year that had come back to Hogwarts to teach which made things a little less awkward. Malfoy was the Potions Master, ever the Slytherin, Luna had replaced Trelawney when the woman had decided to go and travel the world, and Neville was acting as assistant to Professor Sprout until she retired next year.
"Hey Harry!", Neville said as he sat at the empty chair beside him.
"Hi, Nev. Had fun in Romania?", he asked, happy to see his friend again. Neville had gone to Romania with Ginny, his fiancé, to visit Charlie at the dragon sanctuary as soon as the school year had ended, only arriving in England the previous day.
The man nodded, a big smile on his face as he excitedly started to tell them about their experiences. He was obviously enamored with dragons and if Harry hadn't known him as well as he did, he would have thought Neville was ready to drop everything and move to Romania to become a dragon handler.
"Did you set the date already?", Luna asked.
"Yule.", Neville said, pride shining in his eyes as he did so. Harry smiled at the words, happy to hear that two of his closest friends were getting married.
He felt a twinge of something in his chest as he watched everyone congratulating Neville. It wasn't really jealousy, but something close. He wanted that. He realized that he wanted that, he wanted what Ginny and Neville, and Hermione and Ron, and even Luna and Draco had. He wanted someone in his life, a person to call his own, to come home to after a hard day and just be.
A memory of two men sitting on the couch in front of a blazing fire came to mind, but he quickly stumped on it, unwilling to even think about it. It had been just a dream, after all, nothing more, and Harry could no longer live in dreams.
It had been two years since Harry last set his eyes on him, that day in the infirmary the last memory he had of Severus since the man had disappeared from the Wizarding world soon after.
He hadn't even shown up to receive his Order of Merlin first-class that he had been awarded; the only one to receive 'first-class' beside Harry.
It had been hard, letting go of him, especially after learning about his true loyalties, the ultimate proof that Harry hadn't been crazy about falling in love with him. But he had to, after all, the man was straight and in love with his dead mother, there really was no hope.
He sighed, taking a sip of his coffee, refusing to think on that subject anymore; it only brought him heartbreak and Harry has had that enough in his life.
Headmistress McGonagall stepped into the room, walking briskly to her place at the front of the table, apologizing for keeping everyone waiting. She didn't sit though, choosing to stand behind her chair as she waited for everyone to settle down.
"I have an announcement to make.", she said after a moment, her Scottish brawl ticker than ever as she watched them over the rim of her glasses.
Harry frowned, curious to see what she could possibly have to say. All the teaching positions had already been occupied so a new face was unlikely to appear.
"I have decided to step away from my Headmistress position. I'll continue to teach Transfiguration for the next school year before retiring."
Everyone stopped in their tracks, a dozen pairs of eyes blinking stupidly at her announcement.
"But, if you're stepping down, then who will be taking your position? The school year begins in two days.", Malfoy was the first to retain his senses, ever the Pureblood, voicing what was on everyone's minds.
"That would be me, Mr. Malfoy.", a dark, raspy voice drawled from the entrance, making Harry's heart skip a bit.
Severus.