"I'm not wise at all. I told you, I know nothing. I know books, and I know how to string words together—it doesn't mean I know how to speak about the things that matter most to me."

― André Aciman, Call Me by Your Name

"You are doing it again, Harry.", Luna whispered, making him look down, a small blush blooming in his cheeks at being caught staring at Severus.

At least, it was Luna and not the man himself, which had happened already, too many times for comfort. Harry just couldn't seem to help himself, the feelings he thought he had buried long ago, coming out to the surface with the reappearance of Severus.

He tried to squash them, knowing that they would bring him nothing but sorrow, and yet, he couldn't. On the contrary, as the weeks went by, he found himself more and more enamored with the man.

Severus was still the man Harry had known during his school years; intense and snarky, but there was now a warmth in him, a softness that was never there before. He smiled now, small quirks of his lips, nothing more, but still there.

He actually talked with people instead of fighting, and spent his time in the teacher's lounge, not hiding in the dungeons like he used to.

He still refused to suffer fools, and his tongue was as venomous as ever, but only when it was deserved.

He was everything Harry wanted and yet, everything he could never have.

Harry sighed, making himself concentrate on what was being discussed instead of dwelling on the things he couldn't change.

"Anything else?", Snape asked as Professor Sprout finished with her class report. When no one said anything, he nodded and finished the meeting making Harry's hands start to sweat.

He needed to ask him something and he felt nervous about it. He stood up, and made his way toward Severus, taking the opportunity that the man had stuck around after the end of the meeting.

"Headmaster, could I have a moment?", he said as he approached him, proud that his voice came out strong and even, even if he felt anything but.

Severus looked up, one of his brows rising as he saw Harry before he nodded.

"Of course. Here, or would you prefer a more private setting?", he asked smoothly.

Harry blinked, his face going up in flames as his mind came up with a rather vivid picture of a private setting, he wished they could have.

"Um... no.", Harry squeaked, blushing even more in embarrassment as the edge of Snape's lips quirked up.

Harry cleared his throat, looking away, all the while berating himself for acting like a love-sick teenager.

Smooth, Harry, real smooth.

"I mean, this works just fine. I was just wondering if you would have anything against me starting a dueling club? Something like what we had in my second year, but better?"

One of Snape's brows furrowed, and Harry realized what he had said, a feeling of utter horror rising in his stomach.

"Not that it was bad! I mean you were brilliant! You are always brilliant, of course. I just meant without Lockhart around to mess things up."

Someone, for the love of God, kill me!

Harry thought, feeling horrified at verbal diarrhea that had just spilled out of his mouth. Snape, on the other hand, looked like he was having a time of his life, his trademark smirk firmly on his face, his eyes dancing with merriment as he watched Harry.

"Indeed.", he said, as he crossed one of his long legs over the other.

"I don't see anything wrong with that, so do as you please, Mr. Potter."

Harry nodded, relieved that he hadn't messed things up beyond repair, before he quickly jumped up and all but ran away, a dark, raspy chuckle following him to his dreams.

•

"How is the dueling club going?", Hermione asked as they made their way through the crowd in the Three Broomsticks. It had been a bad idea to come here on Halloween night, he thought as they squeezed through the throngs of people on their way to their table.

It was during times like these, he was actually grateful for being The-Man-Who-Lived since it meant he always had a table wherever he showed up, no matter if he had a reservation or not, something his friends took great advantage of.

"Great!", Harry said as they finally reached their table, his face splitting into a smile at the thought of his little club. Well, it wasn't really little, seeing as every single student had signed up for it as soon as they learned that Harry Potter was going to be leading it.

Harry had blanched when the prefects had delivered the signing sheets during breakfast the week before, to Severus's great amusement, seeing as the man had actually snorted into his tea once Harry had opened the scroll only for it to fall to the ground as it unrolled.

Planning the sessions with so many people wanting to attend had been hard since the only available room that was able to accommodate so many people was the Great Hall but he did it once he remembered the Room of Requirement.

He had the first session just the day before and it had been great. Harry smiled as he remembered the look on everyone's faces as they dueled.

He absolutely loved teaching.

"That's amazing Harry.", Hermione said, smiling as she watched him over the rim of her glass.

"And what about Headmaster?"

Harry froze, his eyes flying to her, as he did so.

"What about him?"

"Harry."

Harry looked down, frowning as he played with his empty glass, knowing that she was looking at him with knowing eyes.

They had never actually discussed Harry's feelings for Snape, but he knew that she knew. He wasn't sure when she had actually realized, but he had a strong suspicion that it was long before the war had ended.

After all, they had shared a tent together for almost a year, and even though Harry had hated Snape as much as he had loved him during that time, he couldn't control his dreams. And in his dreams, there had been only Severus.

Something that had never truly changed, even to this day.

And even he had somehow managed to avoid her finding out like that, his reaction in the Shrieking Shack when they found Severus was more than enough of a tell.

You didn't go and break down at the sight of the man you were supposed to hate, no matter how good of a person you were.

And Harry had broken down, weeping as he had never done in his life before or after, clutching Snape's body to his, refusing to let him go, until Ron was forced to physically remove him.

That had been the worst night of his life.

"If you don't want to talk about him, that's fine. I just need to know that you are okay. Living in such close quarters again can't be easy."

"I'm fine, Hermione. Truly. It's in the past.", Harry said.

She nodded, keeping to her promise not to pester him about it, but he could see that she didn't believe him.

That was okay, he wouldn't believe himself in her place, either.

•

They stayed in the Three Broomsticks till midnight, taking the opportunity to just enjoy each other's company without Rose or his students interrupting them. He realized just how much he had missed her, as they talked for hours, his main place of living now being in Hogwarts and her work and parenting responsibilities making it impossible for them to meet like this often.

They said their goodbyes in front of the pub before Hermione called for the Knight Bus, seeing as she was too intoxicated for apparition or flew network. Harry made sure that she was safely on her way home before he made his way back to the castle.

He stumbled his way through the dark corridors, questioning his judgment as he thought what a student would think of seeing their Professor drunk.

He snorted, placing his hand over his mouth, knowing that he needed to be quiet. It was late enough that he seriously doubted even the most rebellious students would be out, but that didn't mean there were no others that could. His colleagues for example.

He was almost at his door when he heard voices from behind the corner, making his curiosity peak. He knew that he should just mind his damn business, and go the long way to his rooms, but even as he thought so he was already creeping closer, glancing around the corner as he realized that the voices were coming from the entrance to the headmaster's office.

The first thing he noticed was Severus, which wasn't really hard to do seeing as the man towered over just about anyone, and he almost moved back, horrified at the thought of Severus of all people catching him drunk. But then he saw Sinistra as well and frowned, staying put.

What were the two of them doing out so late? Did something happen?

Harry thought, swaying on his feet, as he stepped closer, curious to hear what they were talking about.

"Thank you for your help, Severus, I really appreciate it.", Sinistra said, before she leaned closer, kissing Severus's cheek.

Harry's eyes widened at the sight, his bag slipping from his shoulder and falling to the ground, the sound of his things spilling out, and a few bottles of ink breaking catching the attention of the two of them.

Severus looked up, his eyes falling on Harry who could do nothing but stand rooted to the spot, as his world crashed around him. He knew that this could happen, Severus was still young, an incredible man, and the world could finally see it, and yet...and yet.

Severus... and... Sinistra...

He swayed on his feet before he bent down and vomited all over the floor.

Smooth, Harry, real smooth.